Lewis HowesYour Personal 24/7 Greatness Coach

You SHOULDN'T Be Fully Healed to Find Love

4 Mar 2025 · 1 min

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In this monologue, the speaker challenges the common belief that a healthy romantic relationship requires both partners to be fully healed and whole before coming together. Instead, they argue that relationships thrive when both individuals are works in progress—self‑aware, willing to heal, and committed to growing together. The speaker illustrates this by describing a moment when a partner is having a hard day and the listener feels tired and unwilling to engage. The choice to take a deep breath, stay present, and support the partner despite personal mood is presented as an act of healing, emphasizing that ongoing presence and mutual effort, rather than pre‑existing completeness, form the foundation of a healthy partnership.

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This idea that, like, you have to be two fully whole healed people to come together to form a healthy relationship is not true. You want to be healing. Healing. You want to be a work in progress. You want to be self-aware. And you want to do that with someone who wants to do that with you, too. What am I doing when I'm sitting on the couch with my loved one, with my partner? You know, they're having a hard day and I don't really feel like listening to it. I'm tired, not in the mood. Am I going to kind of lose presence and not pay attention when they're having a hard day because I'm not in the mood? Or am I going to take a deep breath and show up for my partner even though I'm not in the mood? That's healing.