#35: How to Increase Your Energy and Inspire Your Kids with Kelly Ryan

I mean, taking care of ourselves, it's, you know, so that we can best take care of other people, but also be an inspiration to them and teach them what they need.

Hey, Coach, my name is Lindsey, and I am here to help heart-centered women like you build the money-making coaching business of their dreams. I have been coaching since 2019, and this pod is about so much more than building your business. It's about using your gifts to build a life and business you're 100% obsessed with. I went from working 50+ hours a week as a first grade teacher to building a sustainable business that replaced my job salary and gave me back 30+ hours a week of my time. Tune in to join the ride and learn from other coaches and experts along the way. Hello, welcome everyone back to the Align Coach Podcast. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm so excited for today's guest. I have Kelly with us today. Kelly is also known as the Head Nerd Mom. She specializes in helping moms gain control of their nutrition in a holistic way, in a way that feels good and in a way that helps them be a better parent for their kids. Right. So, Kelly, welcome on today. I'm so excited for this conversation.

Thank you for having me. I'm super excited to be here. Yay.

So cool. So we were just talking about her own time zone that she's in. She's in Canada. And how do you say it again where you are?

Newfoundland.

Newfoundland. Does it— is it spelled like Newfoundland?

Right.

Newfoundland. Okay.

I'm like, a lot of people pronounce it that way. Like a lot of people pronounce it Newfoundland when they're outside of Newfoundland. But it's Actually, the way that, how do we say it? Was the, there's a saying, it's, oh, I can't remember it. It's like understand Newfoundland or something like that. And that's how you get people to remember how it's actually pronounced.

Yeah, that makes sense. So like where to put the emphasis, understand Newfoundland. Yeah, it's like a little song, sing-songy. Yeah, that's good. Awesome, awesome, Kelly. Okay, so I would love for you to like just introduce yourself, tell us a little bit about what it is that you do, sort of what you help women, other moms with. I'm super interested in the nerd mom thing and what that means.

Yeah. So, um, I help busy, nerdy, geeky moms who want the energy to love life, ditch overwhelm and exhaustion. And we basically do that through, um, nutrition mindset lifestyle changes, you know, whether it's like exercise or water or eating clean, like eating real live whole foods. And I have a big principle in taking baby steps and making small habit changes because like moms are busy and overwhelmed enough as it is. You don't want to make it more overwhelming by creating these huge changes. You know, plus then that's not sustainable, right? So yeah, we, we really focus on making like just very small incremental changes.

Yeah.

I like that. And it's doable, right? Like it's not scary. It's like, oh, I can do that one thing this week. And yeah.

Yeah, exactly. Right. And it might be something as small as, okay, this week we are going to add in 1 to 2 cups of water.

Right.

You know, and it's just like, you look at where, what's going to give you the most bang for your buck, right? So what change right now is the most doable, the easiest, that is going to give you the biggest impact?

Yeah, yeah, that feels good. Yeah, that feels really good, especially as a mom, because like you said, like our lives are already so like, I'm looking at laundry, like right now, out of the corner of my eye, I'm like, oh, don't look at it, like it needs to be folded. I know, the bane of my existence as a mother is the laundry.

Oh yeah, tell me about it. Because it's especially like when you're a mom, it's like it's never ending. And yeah, you know, it was one thing when it was just mine and my husband's and you've got these big articles of clothing, right? But then when you have kids, it's like all these little tiny things and there's so many of them.

Yeah, I swear they multiply.

Yeah, these little tiny shirts and then there's more and like get them out. Yeah. And there's like this sock basket. That's like an entirely— that's like a whole different topic. It's like the sock basket.

Yeah. Don't get me started on the sock basket.

Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm just like so comforted that you also know what a sock basket is. Like, I hope that the other moms listening are like, yep, we know the sock basket.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's a thing. Reach out and let us know. Oh my gosh. Okay. So Kelly, how did you get into the world of helping other moms? Like, how did this come to be? For you?

Yeah, so I guess I've always had an interest in health and food. If you go back far enough, I actually went to cooking school and worked in— yeah, worked in restaurants and had my own restaurant for a little while. And even like from— I can remember like the first time I cooked an omelet, I think I was 11. And even growing up, like, I remember telling mom, you should be buying whole wheat bread and skim milk, right? Because that was the nutrition advice at the time, right? So I've always had this interest, you know. But then after I— let me see, I went back to school to learn about natural nutrition because I had really bad eczema on my hands and legs, and I ended up fixing that through— by cleaning up my diet. I cut out gluten and dairy, which I seem to be allergic to. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, right. So by making my own dietary changes, basically I fixed that up. So that's why I decided to go back and learn about natural nutrition. And then I decided to work with moms in particular because after I had my little guy, um, my energy totally tanked, right? And I was exhausted and I was overwhelmed and moody. And, uh, you know, I mean, there were days where I'm looking for the 2-liter of milk that I just bought and find it in the cupboard.

Yep. I don't have to throw the whole thing out.

Great. So, Anyways, yeah, there was this one day when I ended up— I came home from work and the kids were fighting about something silly that kids fight about. And like, I got, I got really upset, you know, like, and I yelled at them. And yeah, I'm not a yeller, although my kids think I am. And I'm like, you haven't heard me yet, right? But I'm not, I'm not a yeller, you know, and so I yelled this one time because I was just so exhausted and overwhelmed and they started crying and I felt so horrible and so guilty that I sat down on— actually, I even still have it, I can show it to you. We took the legs off, but I sat down on their little red Lego chair and in my kitchen and bawled my eyes out.

Yeah.

You know, and it was at that point that I was like, no more, like this, this isn't the mom I wanted to be. You know, and so it was at that point that, oh, and here's one of them.

Hi, sweet girl.

She said, hi, sweet girl. And here's the other one. There's the other guy. Yes.

Guests.

Yeah, I can't get on a recording and they pop their heads in, but it's nice. Hashtag working from home. I'll talk to you in just a minute. Okay, honey. Okay.

Yeah.

And so it was, it was, yeah, at that point that I was like, you know, I, this wasn't the mom that I wanted to be. This wasn't, this wasn't what I wanted them to remember when they grew up, you know, I want them to remember fun and happy and, you know, love. I don't want them to remember having to walk around on eggshells because mommy is overwhelmed and exhausted. And as we say here in Newfoundland, crooked, right? Which just means cranky.

Yeah.

You know, so that was the point when I decided, okay, enough's enough. I already have the tools because I'd already learned natural nutrition. So I have the tools. To make these changes. So I made the changes in myself. And that kind of made me realize that I can't be the only one, which is why I decided to help other exhausted moms and nerd moms in particular, because I'm a big nerd mom.

Yeah. Oh, I love it. And I just really, like, I just want to really recognize you right now for even sharing that with us about like having that moment of where you were frustrated and you yelled and your kids were like, what? Like, who is this woman that's yelling at me? And like, I'm just a kid. And like, because I just appreciate you sharing that because I know that we've all had those moments as parents. I recently like had one of those moments a few weeks back where I'm like, I was just so like, just like frustrated. I'm like, ah, like, don't you just quit fighting, quit arguing. Like I have a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old or almost 5 and almost 3. But And it's just like, ah, you know, and so I had that moment and I'm like, wait a minute, like, what do I, what do I need right now? Like, obviously, like, I just need to chill out. Like, you know, loosen up my reins of control some, like they're not going to be perfect all the time. I think that's a big one for us as well as like realizing that they are children, you know, that like they don't know any different. Like they're just pissed in the moment, you know? Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, their way. That's it. Like, they can't— well, geez, I'm not even great at self-regulating sometimes, you know? I mean, yep. So, you know, how can I expect them to be, right? And I mean, you know, sometimes too, I think as moms we got to realize that it's okay to separate ourselves from the situation for a minute, you know? I mean, if you need to just go sit in the bathroom for a second to just separate yourself so you can calm down, that's okay, they'll be fine, you know, right? And, you know, it's— we also need to know that it's good for us to take care of ourselves, like not even is it— it's okay, like, you know, I mean, it's It's like the whole put your own mask on first kind of deal. Like I use the analogy of imagine you're on a plane, right? And the flight attendant is going through the pre-flight check and they say, in case of emergency, put your own mask on first because you can't help someone else if you're passed out on the floor. And it's the same thing with being a mom. You know, you cannot— best help your family if you're not helping yourself.

Yeah.

Right. And so true. Yeah. Yeah. You know, so I mean, it's like, not even is it nice to take care of ourselves.

Right.

It's not just like a luxury. Like, right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a requirement.

It's a requirement, you know. And I know moms in particular, like, we're the worst, right? Like, when it comes to doing anything for ourselves because we put everybody else first. And, you know, I mean, how many moms do I talk to where they're not even sitting down to eat? They're like eating their kids' leftover nuggets.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, but like there's so many parts of that. Like by sitting down yourself to eat, you're having a relationship with your children. You— it's a great opportunity for your— to learn about your kids' day, to be an inspiration to them because they see what self-care looks like.

Yeah, right.

I mean, what are, what are we teaching our children if we're not taking care of ourselves? We're teaching them that we're not important. We're teaching— but then too, when they grow up, you know, I mean, what lessons are they learning from this experience? You know, they're learning to put everybody else first. They're learning to not take care of themselves. You know, they're not learning the habits that they need, right? So yeah, I mean, taking care of ourselves, it's, you know, so that we can best take care of other people, but also be an inspiration to them and teach them what they need, right? So yeah.

Wow, that's so beautiful. I know I have a sign on my wall in front of me and it says, "Do it for Ellison and Atlas." And like, that's always the reminder for me for like anything, right? Like, oh, you need to go drink water during the day. Oh, do it for Ellison and Atlas. Don't forget to eat, like do it for them. You know? I don't know if that's actually fixing the underlying thing. Like I should technically be doing it for myself. But because we are moms and we love our children, like there's that, that's our act of love is to take care of ourselves for them. So just to reframe on that, but You're so right. Like, we have to take care of ourselves first. And it's not just something to do for fun or like as, as an extra, you know, like we have to, we literally have to. If not, like we're running on fumes. It's not fair to our kids, our partners, ourselves, you know, and we're, and we're like just really skimming the surface level of how good life could be, you know, big time, you know.

And I mean, it's not all like, A lot of people think too, oh, well, you know, I mean, self-care is going to spa days and getting manicures, right? And don't get me wrong, I love spa days.

Yeah.

But you know, when you're looking at what is necessary and what you need, it's like, no, you need to eat real food. You need to support your immune system. You need to sleep. Support your energy through like mindset work, exercise, proper nutrients, right? And so when, yeah, when you, when you think about it, it's like, it's not just spa days, right? Because spa days are when it feels like a luxury.

Yeah.

Right. The reality is, is, you know, that yoga class or the strength training that you're doing so that you don't hurt yourself when you pick up your kids. Cause I've done that too.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

Um, yes.

All the micro decisions that we make throughout the day, you know, taking the deep breath or going outside for 5 minutes or putting your phone down in the afternoons, you know? And it's like all the tiny micro decisions. And then yeah, the big decisions like, oh, going to get your nails done, of course, like, of course, right? But all the little things that we do in between that lead up to that. Yeah. So how would you like, how, how, because I know, especially when we start our businesses, you know, and especially as we're working from home and we're just pulled in multiple directions, you know, this past year with the pandemic, like things have just been, um, out of the usual, you could say, right? So like, how, yeah, like what do you tell your clients to do to get started or what do you tell your community to do to kind of start on this journey of just taking more like intentional time for themselves? And, and, you know, whether it's healing their body or like, what, what would you do to tell them to start?

Um, believe it or not, um, the first thing I tell them to do— well, there's sort of a couple of little things that I tell them to do to start, um, and that's deciding why you truly want it. So I'll put them through an exercise called the 5 Whys, right? Now, it could be more than 5, but it's getting— it's basically continuing to ask the question, why do I truly want to make change? You know, and you want— you don't want surface-level answers. You really want to get to the root of it, you know, and write that down. And, you know, basically what you do is you keep asking why or so what. You know, and when you can't answer why or so what anymore, that's when you've got your true deep why, you know, and you need that to keep going because change is hard. Um, and, um, it like, you need to have a good solid why to keep you going, right?

Yeah.

Um, the other thing too is Figuring out what you're doing now, right? So I'm a big believer in, at least for a period of time, you don't need to do it forever, but writing down, like writing down your food, writing down your quality of sleep, how you feel during the day, your exercise, how much water you drink, right? So really writing down, like even if you're using the bathroom regularly, you know, like writing all this stuff down because then you can start to see patterns. You know, and I mean, I even, I had a client who, she was quite an advanced client, right? And when she first started working with me, she was like, I don't know if you're going to be able to help me because I do a lot of research on my own, right? And she was, she was an, she was advanced, right? Yeah. But then when we, when she started writing down and working together, and I'm like, well, why don't you try adding, you know, you're only getting 3 or 4 servings of vegetables. Up your vegetable intake, right? And I mean, like, she went from having okay energy— well, she wrote down fine, right? So fine energy every day to good energy every day, and some days great, right? And it was just by making a couple little tweaks, but she wouldn't have even known to do this if she wasn't writing it down, right?

Wow.

Yeah. So, I mean, that's, that's a big thing.

I'm just thinking right now what just really stood out to me the most is like only 3 to 4 servings of vegetables. I'm like, wow, that's me on a good day. I think I might need to start food journaling. Like more than 3 to 4. Like I thought I was doing good. Like what?

No, you want like 9 to 13.

Oh my gosh.

Vegetables.

Well, I take that back. I guess fruits and vegetables. Yeah, well, I'm probably, honestly, I'm probably not hitting like 13, but together I'm probably closer. OK, I'm just thinking vegetables like non-starchy vegetables.

You want 2/3 of that, you want to be vegetables.

Wow. Yeah.

Only a third of it should be fruit, right? Yeah. Fruit is higher in sugar, whereas vegetables are lower in sugar. But I mean, there's a lot of like really healthy fruits, like I mean, blueberries are a superfood, right? So yeah, you know, but yes, you want 9 to 13 servings of fruits and veggies, which is hard to get, you know?

Yeah, right.

So, and that sounds daunting, but then when you're looking at it and it's like, okay, say you're only eating, yeah, maybe 3 to 4 servings of vegetables a day, well, add 1 serving, right?

Yeah, that's an additional 5 servings a week, right?

Yeah, exactly, right? So, yeah, that's pretty much where I usually get them to start, and then a lot of times the next thing that we look at is setting goals, right? Because you want to know, you know, it's like a road map. I mean, if you get in your car, and unless you're just going for a Sunday drive, If you get in your car but you have no destination, then why would you even get in your car, right? And so that's the same thing with making changes. Like, it's good to know where you want to go and make it tangible so that— I don't know, they're playing with Legos. I don't know if that's a bit too loud, but if it is, just let me know.

Sounds like they're having fun.

They are having fun, yes. Yeah, like if you don't have a roadmap, if you don't have a destination that's measurable and specific, then you're not even going to get in your car, right? So it's the same. So that's why we work on goal setting. And then the next one a lot of times is starting with water because most people are chronically dehydrated, right?

Yep.

And even being slightly dehydrated can really affect your energy. You know? So yeah, that, that's, that's sort of the very first, that's the base level stuff.

Yeah. Right.

Yeah. Oh, that's good.

That's good stuff. I'm like, yep. Need to add more vegetables to my diet.

Yeah.

I could probably get a little bit more sleep. Water. I'm good on, like, I recently, I'm not drinking out of it right now. I'm not drinking wine. This is actually water. It's a wine glass. Um, but I actually got a HydroJug. So it's like a huge jug with like 73 ounces of water. And I usually fill it up like probably like 1.5 times a day. And it has made a huge difference, like in just the way that I feel. I just didn't have time to fill it up before I came in here.

Yeah.

But like in my skin texture, like my energy level, just like, like overall, I just feel like better all over, you know? So that's awesome. So good. So good, Kelly. So if someone wants to connect with you, if they're like, yes, like I'm a nerd mom and I want to get my life together, how can they connect with you and where can they find you?

Well, actually, right now I'm offering free energy audits. So yeah, which is fun, you know, because we get to look at where you're losing energy and, you know, some tips and tricks of how you can start getting your energy back. And you can go on my website, which is nerdmomnutrition.com. So cute. Thank you. And yeah, at the bottom of that page, you can just sign up for— you can choose a time in my calendar and sign up for an energy audit.

Energy audit. I love that. And what would you do in there? You'd ask questions about your energy levels and kind of give like a Okay, we can try this. Like, what does that entail?

Yeah, so basically what we do is we hop on a Zoom call and we talk about what you're doing now, what you're feeling, you know, and there's, I've got 7, 8, sorry, 8 places where you could potentially be losing energy and they're your food, water, sleep, Exercise, mindset, stress, and hormones, or other. Yeah, yeah, you know, and so we, we go through those facets and see what's going on, and then we, yeah, I basically give tips and tricks, and if somebody seems like they might be a good fit, I would talk to them about what it would look like to work together.

I love it. So they can go to nerdmomnutrition.com.

Yep.

Sounds good. Okay, Kelly, well, thank you so much for chatting with me today. Thank you so much for coming on to the Aligned Coach Podcast, and I have really enjoyed this.

Thank you so much for having me here. This has been great.

Awesome. Awesome. Well, thanks everyone, and we will see you all in the next episode of the Align2Pitch podcast.