#39: Why guiding your clients from "intuition" is NOT actually helping them with Allison Sutter

I can help you. I can guide you. I can walk beside you. We can have conversations. I can tell you I love you, but ultimately it's like having children. They don't, you know, they have to do it themselves. They literally have to do it themselves. It's the same relationship.

Hey, Coach, my name is Lindsey and I'm here to help heart-centered women like you build the money-making coaching business of their dreams. I've been coaching since 2019. And this pod is about so much more than building your business. It's about using your gifts to build a life and business you're 100% obsessed with. I went from working 50+ hours a week as a first grade teacher to building a sustainable business that replaced my job salary and gave me back 30+ hours a week of my time. Tune in to join the ride and learn from other Coaches and experts along the way.

Welcome everyone back to the Aligned Coach Podcast. This is your host Lindsay. I have a guest here with us today. Her name is Allison Sutter. She is an expert in all things, um, abundance, law of attraction, spirituality, living authentically. I think that today's interview is going to be full of such goodness. We actually have a shared background in the education system, so I am very excited for today's call. So welcome on to the show. I'm so excited. To have you here.

Thanks for having me. It's good to be here.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So tell us a little bit about you, Allison. Tell us about your journey, what got you here. You know, everyone's journey is always so unique. I think this is like my favorite part of our show is like hearing how you landed here. So give us— spill the beans for us.

Sure. So I started out as a first grade teacher, just like you, for many years. I taught in the private system in Chicago. And then when we moved to the burbs, it was no longer financially feasible for me to do that. It just, my background didn't translate to the public system out here. So I was raising my kids and I sort of came across the concept of holistic health. So I went and got a Czech lifestyle certification, which focuses on mental, mind, body, spirit type of stuff. And then I sort of hooked onto this concept of spirituality. But in hindsight, you know, it's sort of like you tap into a topic and all of these memories of how you already connected come back. So I had all these memories flood back about experiences I had sort of in the ethereal realm when I was younger, came back, sort of went into that. I actually worked with somebody who was quite famous in the personal development industry. But as I say, what a blessing it was to know exactly what I didn't want. I learned exactly what I didn't want to do. I learned exactly what I didn't want to teach, how I didn't want to treat people, clients, how I didn't want to market. You know, I learned everything I didn't want to do. What a blessing, right? When you know what you don't want to do, you know what you do. So from there, I created a couple different personal development classes on a, on a place called Udemy. I don't know how you pronounce it. So I did like So I did visualization, I did abundance mindset, I did intuition, I did law of attraction. And I really took what I knew about learning that I had learned in standardized education, what it takes to learn something and not memorize something, took it over into this personal development realm and tried to really structure these classes so that the learner would come to them and be independent once they got out of this self-guided program, because that's really hard to do. Yeah, you could get lost in online learning. So that's where I gathered about 4,800 students in that realm. Took what I knew about the whole process, the student feedback.

Yes, it's working.

Yes, I like this, you know, no, that doesn't work. And I created a book and an online course and I work with people one-to-one on something called Accelerate Your Mojo. And to me, accelerate means to realize sooner, not go faster, not work harder, realize sooner, and mojo is that inner self, that non-spiritual self that you are. So you're realizing that sooner and using that to your benefit to do 3 things: intuition, transform fear when it comes up, and be authentically oneself. That's what I do. So I got here by just fumbling through reality like everybody else does, just sort of making your way.

Wow, wow.

Okay, so I love what you said about you take— you taking all of your your prior experience in the education system and as a teacher and working with learners and you applying that to what you do as a coach and as a course creator and as someone that's teaching new concepts to people. I think that how wonderful it is that anyone and everyone can step into this place of online education and you can teach things and you don't really need a certification to call yourself a coach or to call yourself even an expert, right? And that's what beautiful, how beautiful that is. However, However, on the flip side of that, I think that we do need to be very careful about the way in which we're pouring into other people, right? And we need to be very intentional that we are giving them value for what they're paying for, right? And that we are giving them life, life, lasting, lifelong and lasting results and materials they can apply. Because especially like if you're working one-on-one or if you're like directly coaching people, It can be really easy to, to like, um, form codependency with one another, right? Like your clients being like dependent on you. So, and especially Allison, like with intuition and like teaching, um, that— because I've experienced this, right? Like I've experienced where being dependent on your coach, well, tell me what you think about that, tell me what you think, and she would say, well, my intuition tells me. And so then it was like Okay, and in the moment that was beautiful and it was great. But then later it was like, but wait a minute, like how do I find the answers for myself now? You know, so did you ever experience any of that? Like why was it so important for you to create those courses and create that, those topics with intentionality? Like what was the learning curve for you, I guess?

Because I had that same experience. Somebody who said, I can solve all your problems, I can do it for you. And I bought into it. I bought into it for $20K. I bought into it. And then I realized, oh, shit, you can't do that. You can't do that. And I thought about it, because I actually listened to that podcast of yours where you talked about that this morning. And the thing that I thought about was that if I said to you, if I said, oh, I'm going to tutor your kid who's in 2nd grade, and we're going to learn math, and I'm going to do it for you, and I'm going to solve all the problems, and the parent would be like, well, that's dumb. Why can't my kid do it himself? Like, we understand the logic of the person doing the work themselves in education. Somehow in personal development, in the coaching industry, it got all messed up where somehow you think a person coming into the industry going, I'm going to heal you and I'm going to do it for you, and everyone's like, yay!

No, it's not the way it works.

It's a nice idea. It is a really nice idea to think that you never have to do any work and someone can come up with a magic wand and heal you. Uh-uh, sorry, don't work that way. Reality is not structured like that.

Absolutely. And it like, it takes a lot of pressure whenever you like realize that and you do create your courses and your frameworks and things with that level of intentionality. It takes a lot of pressure off you too in the long run, like in those client relationships, because you know with all your heart and like with all of your integrity that you put 100% into it. However, if your client didn't take on and they didn't do the work and they didn't apply it and they just let everything go in one ear and out the other, like at least you still have like, you're confident enough to say, well, I know that I did my part. You know, like I know that I did what I said I was gonna do.

Because if not, it can feel so, because inevitably like we're all gonna have clients and we're gonna have students that come through our materials that don't get the results that we want for them. I mean, that's just inevitable, right? But it feels so fricking like tarnishing to your self-worth and your confidence. If you're like attached to everything because you're like overly responsible for their results. You know, like if you're just—

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes, you have to come from the mindset of creating independence, not dependence. You have to come from this place. And so when I was creating all these classes, which is hard because, you know, online classes are isolating to begin with. They're very difficult. But if I can do that, if I can create a sense of independence in someone else with an online class, A coach can do it with a, with an actual person because I've fed into the energy of those structures. When you get to the end of this course, you understand your independence. You understand how you are a creative being who can create their own reality. You understand all of that. So it's really important to come because if, when a person understands the structure of reality, they know that you cannot create for someone else. It's a It's a mechanical impossibility. So if you come forth with that, you immediately empower the other person, call them your client, call them your student, to shift their own, um, how they're viewing that relationship immediately to one of independence instead of codependence. And it is so, so important because the truth is no one can create in your reality except for you. You take the information, you decide what works, what doesn't work, you decide what your intuition is telling you, you decide, no one else can do it for you. It's your mechanism. So, you know, I can tell you how it might be showing up for you, but even in that regard, you have to decide how it's showing up for me. You have to decide what is meaningful for you, both the coach and the client. I mean, in that, it's, It's such an integral thing to do to say to someone else, I can't create for you, but you can create. I can help you. I can guide you. I can walk beside you. We can have conversations. I can tell you I love you. But ultimately, it's like having children. They don't, you know, they have to do it themselves. They literally have to do it themselves. It's the same relationship.

Yeah. And it's hard sometimes, right? Like, it's hard to, like, take your hands off of it, you know, and let them learn by error and let them learn by messy action. But it is, it's integral to their progress and to the long-lasting results of it.

And it's nice for it. And who doesn't want to be the savior? Who doesn't want to say that you saved someone else? Who doesn't want to feel that sense of somehow being the one who saved them? I mean, my best friend I've had for, I don't know, 11 years now, she always says to me, she's like, "God, when I get on the phone with you, it just seems like I have a breakthrough." you're so good.

I'm like, dude, it ain't me.

It's not me. You have decided that somehow I'm your permission slip. And so when we talk, you align with your whole self. You make sense of information. It's not— stop trying to give that to me. I don't want it. It's not me. But I do enjoy being your friend and I do enjoy having conversations and I do enjoy that you value me and I'm glad I'm helpful. But it's not me. Because what happens when I'm not there? Then what?

Yep. She's thinking to herself, what would Alison say? What would Alison say right now? How would she walk me through this? Yeah, but you're right. When in reality it is her, she's setting the intention for herself because she has it subconsciously. She's like, well, I get on the phone with Alison, I know that she's going to say something profound. Right. So then she's like looking for that. And then of course it happens. Of course. Right.

Right. Or if someone's like, this is not going to work for me, it's not going to work for them because they've already decided it's not going to work. So guess what? You create your own reality. No one can do it for you.

Yep. Absolutely. I think that that lesson has also shifted, or I think for everyone it should, like it should shift the way that we— do you work with clients one-on-one or do you? Yeah.

Okay.

So, you know, like when you're enrolling clients, like we don't, I don't want you to come to me looking to be the savior. Like, I don't want you coming to me looking like I'm the salt. Like, do not come to me crying and in tears and like, this is your make or break moment. Right. Because that, like, I can help you and I can give you tools to help you, but ultimately, like, you have to be the one that does it and you have to yourself. Right. Like, so yeah, 100%, all of that, all of that. So tell me, okay, tell me, Alison, about the transition from such a formal profession, like as a teacher and as an educator, to now teaching on spirituality and law of attraction. Does your family like think you're a little cuckoo? Or were they like so supportive? Like, tell me about that transition.

Well, first of all, your kids never want to have anything to do with what you do. I'm just saying that they don't care. You know, I am mom. It's in one ear, out the other. And my husband doesn't really have a passion for this. So it doesn't— I mean, he's not interested in it. And that's OK. We can have different interests. It's perfectly fine. So they don't really care what I do. Whatever, Mom, we're going to be on your computer again. It's fine. So but what's interesting is, so it seems like it's a different— it's a big transition to go from formalized education to something that is in the personal development industry. It's actually not because we are a soul having a physical experience. So in hindsight, I remember having like dreams when I was 3 of being this light being, this energy being, and I was 3. I didn't know what it meant, but I've been connected with this concept of that we are a spiritual being since I was little. When my mom died when I was 20, she had cancer, 6 weeks diagnosis to death. I was there when she transitioned. And I remember having like super painful, right? Your mom's withering away from pancreatic cancer. You're sitting there going, nothing I can do. What's going to happen to me? You know, pain, pain, pain. The moment after she took her last breath, I had a— I had an awareness of where her energy had ended up. And it was in this place where we don't take this shit with us. All this stuff we're doing, all these complications, all these problems, we don't take it with us into the non-physical realm. So big aha moment, but I was 20. I went back to being who I was, just a 20-year-old doing whatever. And then, you know, I think part of what was enticing to me about teaching, especially on children, is they are connected. They don't have a lot of baggage, right? Teaching first grade, they don't come with all the crap that we bring with us as adults. They transition from fights really easily. You know, it's a very sort of spiritual thing to be teaching young children because they're still very connected to who they really are. And then, so, you know, I had points and I didn't think about this till the other day, but actually when my mom was really sick, I, for some reason, I said, oh, someday I'll write a book. It sounded important. Well, I did. I wrote a book. So there's some prophecy involved in our own experience that we don't even realize. So I think essentially I've always been doing this, you know, I've always been working towards this point in which I now come into, and part of my work is being authentic. And I think the most generous thing you can do for anyone else is be your authentic self. That is the most generous thing you can do, the kindest thing you can do for someone else is just be your authentic self. So I've been working towards this because part of my journey said, don't be your authentic self. Until I was. So, you know, my journey was don't trust your intuition until you do, you know, let fear guide your life until you don't. So, you know, those are the things that I've always been working on, and I just find them so exciting to help other people recognize that, you know, intuition is not just an emergency situation faculty and that you can use it in every regard. Everything, every category that you look at in your life, because intuition is a common core of, you know, well-being that you have. You know, so it's just, it's what I've been working towards. It's really fun. I love it. It's energizing. And I just love showing, helping other people recognize within themselves how these, these, this trifecta of intuition, transforming fear, and being your authentic self is the lifeboat you're looking for.

Yeah, 100%. What do you, um, what do you think being your authentic self means? I think that we hear that a lot in the personal development world. What does it mean to you? Do you think that it changes? Do you think that it's always, um, like there's like a core of who you are and that never changes? Like, what do you think? Like, tell me, tell me what that really means to you.

Um, so I guess in the answer that wants to come out of my mouth is that you honor your likes, your wishes, your passions, your curiosities at that point in your life. Sure, everything changes. That's a law of the universe.

Everything's going to change.

I'm not the person I was in my 20s or my 30s or my 40s. I'm now the person I am in my 50s. So you are just as true as you can be in each moment in time to the things that are most joyful, interesting to you. You know, on sort of a separate way of looking at that too is I just had this conversation with somebody on Clubhouse. We're starting a room and we're starting as moderators to this room. And she was like, in another room she was in, the person came to the room and tried to pretend that there were 500 people listening. So, you know, to me, to pretend that something is what it isn't, isn't really authentic because right now there's no one listening. So let's just talk. Let's just talk. Like no one's listening. Now let's just talk like there's one person in the room. So to me, authenticity is just being present in the authentic situation that you're in and not pretending it's something that you're not, because one of the things that this famous person, Mr. Famous, tried to— and this is the way I interpreted it, but he was like, fake it till you make it. So my interpretation of that is pretend you're something you're not and try to believe it. I just, I'm a shitty liar. I can't lie. So trying to pretend I was what I wasn't was super painful and anxiety-inducing for me. And so, you know, as a coach, the best thing you can give your client is authenticity. You are where you are. Don't pretend you're something. I couldn't pretend, you know, I had 4,800 students going through my class when I had one.

Right.

And those are, those are just kids or not kids, people who had entered Self-Guided Coaches. I'm not saying that I haven't coached one-on-one 4,800 people. That would be inauthentic. I'm saying 4,800 people have enrolled in a self-guided course. Yeah, I have a couple of clients one-on-one, you know, that— don't pretend you're something you're not because it's gonna bite you in the ass. So yeah, you can look at it from lots of different lenses.

Yeah, that doesn't feel good. It feels heavy, you know, if you're carrying that around, it feels heavy to you. Yes, you know, if you're operating the way that you see another really well-known person in the industry operating and you're trying to mimic what they're doing or you think that's what you want to be doing one day, like that's going to, that hurts to you because you're in a constant catch-up game or in a constant race that was never, it's not even supposed to be a race, you know, you're racing yourself. Like you could be enjoying, like you said, the one person that's in the room or the two people that are your one-on-one clients. You know?

Yeah. And speaking of authenticity, as a coach, I was trying to coach someone else's material that wasn't resonant with me. So as a coach, being an authentic coach, if you're coaching someone else's material that you think is just going to get you money, but the content doesn't resonate with you, my suggestion is stop because you will make more money being the authentic person person and creating and coaching the material that's authentic to you than doing someone else's because you think it's all about the money. I mean, there's a lot of talk about money in coaching, but abundance is not just money. There's so much more to it than that.

Absolutely. Yes. Yes. I have worked with a mindset coach for like, well, we just ended our container, but, um, what, the past like 6 or 7 months? No, even longer than that. Like 8 months actually. And one of the very first things that we covered together was about wealth is not just money, right? Wealth is the way that you feel. Wealth is in your relationships. Wealth is what you are doing between these calls. Wealth is how you feed yourself. It is the way that you are treating yourself in the tiny moments throughout the day, not just like what is in your bank account. That was such a huge realization for me, you know, coming into the coaching industry and I am like, yeah, Yeah, like let's go, let's get it, build this empire, it's great, I'm gung-ho, like ready to go. And then you once again get into this race of, okay, the next level, quote unquote, right? Like what does that even mean? The next level.

Yeah, what does it even mean?

Income selling, yeah, all the next thing, the next thing, the next thing. But like what about right now? You know, like what about how you're speaking to yourself in the morning? What about the conversations that you're having with your partner? Right? Because money can't fix those things. You know, money doesn't make you feel good, um, whenever you go to lay down in your bed at night and your whole day's been a shit show, right?

And the definition of things is so important. So define what wealth means to you as a listener to this. Define what abundance means to you. Abundance to me means the ability to do what you need to do when you need to do it.

Yeah.

And, and that— and so I've been you know, saying that definition for a long time. And it only just the other day did it shift from being something that I perceived as external to internal. I was like, oh, wait a second, I can shift my thinking when I want to. You know, I hadn't put abundance, that definition, and married it with the internal reality. And I do a lot of internal reality work, but The intersection of those two ideas added another level of freedom to the concept of thinking what you want to think when you want to think it. So there's always another level of, as a coach, that you are— well, I don't like that word necessarily, but there's always more awareness that we're going to have as teachers trying to transfer our knowledge to those people that want it. Yeah.

More depth, right? Like it gets richer and richer. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I'm personally like in a, I don't know if it's transition, but it does feel like I'm going deeper into, so whenever I transitioned from relationship coaching to business coaching, it was very much based around, okay, let's do this with your strategy. Let's make this your lead generation system. Let's do like, it was very much like boom, boom, boom, boom. Like let's do, make these strategic moves. And now I feel like the past month or so, especially, um, I've been going deeper and it's like, it's so much more than that. Right? Like for me personally, it wasn't just about, oh, the lead gen system I put into place. It was about me Speaking my truth. And it was about me like owning my voice and showing up and saying those things to people and saying what I meant and not sugarcoating it and not copying what I saw someone else doing, right? Like it was more like, yeah, the strategy was so much of it. But like you said, it was like a huge, it's been a huge shift in my internal reality that it's more than just that. It's so much more than that, you know? So to go deeper and deeper and richer and sweeter and better. Yeah. It's a beautiful thing that we do.

Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, yeah, it's a, it's cool. I love being able to just, you know, be in my joy and have other people appreciate me being in my joy. That's a cool thing.

Oh, that is a cool thing. I like that. Yes. Yes. Um, I actually heard a previous mentor that I, that I like kind of follow and watch. I've never worked with her personally, but one of the things that she's says is, how can pleasure serve me today? And I find myself asking, asking that a lot. How can pleasure serve me today? Right? Because whenever I'm pleased, whenever I'm good, like everyone else is better around me, you know?

Yeah. So yep, absolutely. It's a good thing.

I love it. I love it. Okay, Allison. So tell us, someone who is looking to really step into this place of owning their authenticity or stepping into this like deeper spiritual place in their life, what would you say to them? Maybe what direction would you guide them in? Any place to like start if they're like, well, I thought I was spiritual, but I'm really kind of feeling disconnected, or like, I thought I was doing all the manifestation work and I don't think it's really working. Like, what would you say to them to help them go deeper and richer and fuller?

I would say this. Here's the formula, okay? From the choices that you have before you in this moment, follow your highest level of excitement. Take it as far as you can take it till you can't take any farther. And don't demand that it be something, or don't make an assumption about what's happening that it should be something. And stay in a positive energetic state state as often as possible. If you follow that formula, it will lead you exactly where you need to go. That is the integration of your intuition. It is the, um, following of excitement versus, you know, being blocked by fear. And it is the integration of your authentic self because it's what you're excited about. If you follow that, you will get to where you need to go in the pace that you need to get there, because everything is a step along the way. This is a fricking journey. The whole thing, that goal you think you need to get to, it's just a step along the way. So you are the creator of this narrative. You are the author of everything. So make it fun. Follow. And when I say follow your highest level of excitement, It means whatever the highest energetic state you can get to. If you're depressed, you're not going to get to joy. Too big of a leap. Get to something better. What is the highest level of excitement based relative from where you are in this given moment from the choices that you have before you? Not shit you don't have before you, not stuff you're making up. What do you have before you? What are your choices, right? Don't sit and ruminate about the things that are never going to happen. They're not a choice.

Yeah, don't go fake it till you make it. Don't go pretend like you've got 50 clients on the roster or whatever. You're trying to get your first. Yeah, yeah.

No, no, no, no, no. People can sense the inauthentic nature of that. You are where you are. It's okay. Just sit with the pleasure of being where you are in this life experience, knowing that it will change in the next moment.

Oh, I love it. Oh, like you're speaking directly to me. I don't know who you are, but like, I feel like it's like I'm just like soaking it up. Yes, yes. All of that. Oh, that's so good, Alison. Okay. So tell us, where can our listeners come and soak up some of your goodness? Where can they learn, you know, learn more about what to do or even reach out to work with you or come bask in some of your amazing courses and soak that up?

Sure. So you can find me on Instagram. I'm doing a lot of stuff there right now. I'm doing a couple co-mod rooms on Clubhouse. My website, which is just like a placeholder, it's just AllisonSutter.com. You can DM me, you can send me an email. The free offering that I have is literally the first. So there are 7 steps in this Accelerate Your Mojo process for these 3 main topics. I just took the first step right out of my digital course and I gave it away for free. Why? Because that way the person knows authentically who I am, this is how I teach. There's no baloney about, you know, trying to pretend that I'm something that I'm not. Like, if you like me, this is the way I teach. This is who I am. So I just took the first step and I gave it away. The 6 other steps are very similar. They're not going to be different. So yeah, that's— you can just search my name. I've done hundreds of podcast interviews and courses and all sorts of things.

So Amazing, amazing. We'll put the link to all of those in the show notes for you to be listening. I have enjoyed this conversation. It's been very, very deep and nourishing, and I appreciate you coming on today. Thank you so much, Allison.

Thanks for having me.

Awesome, awesome. All right, everyone, check out the show notes, go and connect with Allison. Let us know your favorite part of today's episode. Come and say hi to us, and we will see you all in the next episode of the Align2Live podcast.