#44: Rebuilding your Confidence after Life-changing Events

What you need it to be to make sure you are living the best version of you every single day to then be able to serve those around you. It all starts with you, all within you, every single day.

Hey, Coach, my name is Lindsey and I am here to help heart-centered women like you build the money-making coaching business of their dreams. I have been coaching since 2019 and this pod is about so So much more than building your business. It's about using your gifts to build a life and business you're 100% obsessed with. I went from working 50+ hours a week as a first grade teacher to building a sustainable business that replaced my job salary and gave me back 30+ hours a week of my time. Tune in to join the ride and learn from other coaches and experts along the way. Welcome everyone back to the Aligned Coach Podcast. I'm so excited to have you here. I'm so excited for today's interview. I was just catching catching up with our friend Jennifer Chapman, who's going to be chatting with us today. Jennifer is a life coach. She's currently working through the Mastery Method certification program with Alyssa Nobrega, or Alyssa Nobrega. I'm never really sure how to pronounce her last name.

Nobrega. Okay.

Yeah.

As a lot of us know, she's a pretty well-known coach in the online coaching industry. And Jennifer is working through her program right now and really solidifying her own process. She's almost done with her Mastery Program. That is so exciting. So, anyways, welcome on, Jennifer. I am so excited to have you here and I am so excited for us to dive into your journey and what it is like, you know, in this, this new space that you are in right now and how it is that you help your Clients and the impact that you are going to put on the world.

So, welcome on.

Thanks so much, Lindsey, for having me. I am excited to talk with you today.

Yeah, yeah, it is going to be so good. I love your logo that is like in the background.

Thank you. Yeah, it's a little gift my husband did for me to kind of really recreate this extra space we had in our home and just, it's, yeah, it's got, it gives me all the feels. Like it just makes it that much more real that I'm creating this business.

It's legit. It's for real now.

I love it.

That's awesome.

Okay, so tell us a little bit about you, Jennifer. How did you get here?

Where are you from?

Tell us a little bit about you.

So I am born and raised in Indianapolis, Midwest girl. And, you know, went to Ball State University for a marketing degree and jumped into the beer, wine, and spirits industry for 10 years, which was obviously fantastic experience and fun and got to do a lot of cool things within the space. Met a lot of great people, met my husband there. So it was— I had a few different positions along the way, and then in 2015, um, was recruited on LinkedIn to kind of take myself up the next level within the sales, um, space and went to a huge organization called Centos. And I'm— that was the first time I was really kind of taking a leap of faith on myself and wanted more than to just be, I don't know, I wanted to provide more for us as a family. My husband was always kind of the breadwinner and I'm like, I wanna do that too. So, said yes, I'm glad I did, and hit the pinnacle of the sales world in my first year and hit President's Club. And also within that year, I kinda had my first epiphany, if you will. I had this moment when I turned 34, as I'm trying to ride the high of, of, you know, and celebrate what I just accomplished professionally, but also realized that my mom was 34 when she passed away. So yes, you know, to step back a bit, I did suffer a tragic loss when I was 11 and lost my mom very suddenly. And so we can maybe talk a little bit more about that. But so yeah, I felt the weight of that, to be honest, as I was trying to cruise to another President's Club and felt I was just, I put a lot of stress and pressure on myself. And then 9 months later at 34, life had different plans for me and I suffered a life-changing stroke. And we can talk more about that obviously, but long story short, I spent the first few months in physical rehab and all the therapy and went back to work thinking I was gonna feel normal again and wanted that. But then things evolved after that first year of recovery and it was much more about the mental and emotional struggle for me than it was physically. Not that I don't have some deficits, but I'm blessed physically. No one would ever know that. I kind of, you know, it's another layer to have deficits that no one sees, but that I adapt to and adjust to every single day. And then to help me overcome the struggles I was having, I hired my own life coach and she was a game changer for me. I worked there for about 8 months. And long story short, I left corporate sales. I still work full time with a home health company, which has been a really nice transition for me, but has now allowed me to take a deep dive into my own training and development. Development and growth to become my own coach to help other women overcome the challenges that I've potentially been through or something similar and want to get unstuck and, and embrace the new version of themselves.

Wow, what a ride.

What a ride.

So how long ago was it whenever you, you know, had your stroke and really was it was like a wake up call for you?

How long ago was that?

It was 4 and a half years ago. So March of 2017.

Wow.

Wow.

Do you account, and we get deep now, like I ask all the questions here, like, do you account like some of the, like the sales and the pressure and the, and the go, go, go that was like probably within that role to what led up to that? Like, do you think that that had, you know, were they correlated?

I always think stress is a factor. I do. It's not like it was the cause, But it was definitely a factor. I think it plays a role in a lot of health issues that people struggle with. And it's realizing, okay, I got to take that, whatever stress I can, out of my life to be able to, man, breathe easier and realize it's not, life isn't all about that pressure that we put on ourselves.

Yeah, my husband works in sales for like a Fortune 20 company, probably like, I don't know, it's like a very top company that we all know. And he's very, very good at it. He's been in President's Cabinet, like 7 years, Winners Circle, like all the things. And he recently transitioned to like a different position, like a, like an area director position type thing for businesses and stuff. And And he, he's feeling the pressure from it and he always has it. And now he's, and I'm just like, sometimes I worry, you know, I worry about, I worry about his health and, and, you know, he enjoys what he does, but it is, it's high pressure. It's a lot. And, um, so I was just curious if you felt like the two are related to one another, you know, and I know that he couldn't see himself doing anything else.

Right.

And I'm sure that you couldn't either at that time in your life.

It's true. I definitely thought obviously had this not happened, I would have stayed on stayed in that realm for as long as I could because I— there was lots of benefits to it. I enjoyed it. I felt, yeah, I felt like I was, I was doing, doing something that, you know, was providing for us in all ways. Um, yeah. And I, I enjoyed it.

Yeah. Yeah. It's fun, right? It's like adrenaline pumping. It's like, yeah, let's get it. Got goals to crush.

Yeah. Yep.

Well, I can only imagine like I can't imagine, actually. I really can't. Like, to be so young, you know, and to go through that.

Wow.

So I'm so glad that you're here and that, like, you have this wonderful story to tell and that now you're really stepping into your place as a Coach and here to transform the lives of other women. That's exciting.

Thank you. It has taken me 4 and a half years to get to this space, and I It's still doing the inner work on myself every single day to make sure I am— my cup is full of everything I need it and want it to be full of. That way I can then serve those around me. And there's just so many women that I've met over these last couple of years that they're either aware of it or maybe they aren't even aware of it, that their cup, you know, you always used to hear it's half full or half empty. And I just think it's always full. And the question is like, what is it full of? And if it's not full of what you need it to be, to, to make sure you're living the best version of you every single day, to then be able to serve those around you, it all starts with you, all within you every single day.

So true. So true. I think that's, that's even more so true whenever we're running our own business, you know, and we are literally in control of our results. We're in control of our success, of what we get done. Like there is no one— I didn't realize this. You know, I came from being a teacher and before that I worked in retail and then I was a sales manager and stuff. But whenever you come into entrepreneurship, you don't realize that no one's there to like give you a pat on the back, you know, like no one's there to tell you good job, like here's your gold star. It's—

and you need that. It's so true. I think learning that myself going into the entrepreneur role now, like It's easy to find the negative and like beat yourself up, beat yourself up for the things that you didn't do or that weren't good enough. But it's hard sometimes to celebrate yourself for the small wins every single day. And those small wins are the ones that are going to build you up and fuel the momentum to move you forward. Yep.

And you have to like pause and rest and take time and find joy outside of your business. Like I literally just wrote a post on it this morning. About like we just went to Disney World and it was great. We, you know, I was offline basically for like an entire week. And however, about 48 hours into vacation, I like started freaking out because I'm like, I'm not thinking about my business. Like, I'm not worried about my business. Like, oh my gosh, this is so weird. Like, what does this mean? And I'm like trying to give it like this deeper meaning. I'm like, maybe it means I'm not interested in it or I've lost my passion or like, oh my God, I'm going to go back to teaching now. And it was like this whole like mindset spiral. I think that like whenever we love what we do so much, you know, you love coaching and you love that you're in this, this, you know, this world of helping other people and we love it so much, we find so much joy from it. So then whenever we do disconnect and then whenever we're not like engulfed in it, like it's kind of scary. You're like, oh my God, what does this mean about myself? You know, you're like, oh God, here we go. So it's so important to find joy outside of work, you know, and outside of the metrics and the performance and your success success and the ambition and all those things. You can relax and you can enjoy life, you know, 100% agree with you.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Okay. So tell us a little bit about what it means to— so after you went through this, like, life-changing experience, you know, you had the stroke, you're working with a life coach, you're really figuring out like what was next for you. First of all, I know that was scary to be working with a life coach and like to not know what would come out on the other side of that. Like, that's scary. But tell us about what it was like to rebuild that confidence for yourself and what it is that you walk clients through, how it is that you— what would you tell to someone who's going through like a similar experience, like rebuilding her life? Like, what would, what would you say to her?

Oh man, I guess what I've learned, what I learned through the process was that I knew I couldn't do it by myself. And I also knew that even though I had the best support system in the, in the world, my family, my friends, my husband, they were so supportive and they wanted me to get, get better than I was, but that they could only take me so far, especially when I would call them like crying at the time, thinking without reason. I mean, there was a reason, but I didn't know. I'm like, I don't know why I'm crying all the time. I can't figure this out. And they didn't know what to say or do. But that I had the courage to reach out to someone that had this unbiased and nonjudgmental approach to where I was and that her goal for me was to move me forward, from meeting me where I was and moving me forward. And that was just such a huge difference between therapy and coaching. And not that there's not a place for therapy because there certainly is. And I tried it myself multiple times. But I just liked what she said to me from day one was like, let's, let's move you forward from where you are. Let's learn to accept and embrace this new version of you. And I think it's just so important for, for people and women to know that after they suffer, you know, this life-changing experience, that they may be needing to accept and embrace this new version of them, that they're not going to go back to the old them. And that's okay. And That's a big difference that I see in certain people that have experienced something. It's like they want to go back to the old them. They want to go back to the way things were. And it's like, that's not going to happen. So until you're ready to risk what's on the other side and want to be a part of what's on the other side, you're going to stay stuck. And I want to help those people that are like, yeah, I don't want to be here anymore. I want to know what it's like to move forward and what it is on the other side and embrace who I'm now going to be.

Have you had to reinvent yourself or keep re-embracing who that woman is since then?

Every day.

Every day.

I embrace this new version of me every day. And I met actually with a new Client this morning, had like a clarity session with her and it was beautiful. And she is, yeah, she took the first step. She was like, I know I have gone through a lot in my life and I am ready to now move forward with this version of myself, with this new perspective. I mean, I have such a different perspective on life now than I did before, especially going through what everybody has gone through this last 18 months. Like, man, it has helped me already go through what I have been through to know, like, I do not want to carry the weight of what's happening out there on me and not let it stop me from continuing to do what I want to do moving forward. And I see, I'm seeing that happen to a lot of people.

Yeah, yeah, it's been a new, I hate to say it, but it's been like a new normal quote unquote for everyone. We were just, we dealt with, all of us had the virus this past month. We have been quarantined from school before that, like, like my daughter started pre-K So that was a huge transition for me as mom, you know, and for her. But then like a week into school, they had to like— like her whole classroom was quarantined and she went back to school and then she got sick. And it's just like, it's been a lot. It's been a lot. And it's been like emotionally and mentally so taxing. It's, it's been a lot. I mean, on our vacation to Disney, like my husband and I just had conversations about our mental health and about, you know, how, like, what is it like? Because he's very driven and he also runs a business and I run a business and we have real estate that we're— and we just have like a lot of things going on. And we're like, that's not the purpose of our life, right? Like, yeah, what, what is that like? How are we going to take care of our mental health outside of the businesses and outside of doing more and doing, doing, doing and going and earning and all those things, right? And while at any moment we could be quarantined again and then it is like your whole life is put on pause and it is just been such a weird time. It has been a really weird time but it is, it is the quote unquote new normal and we have to embrace it and move forward.

Like, that is it. That is right. You totally do and until you understand that fully, you will continue to play those games with yourself and your mind and not be in the best place you can be to thrive in a situation like this. It does not have to control you. Yeah, and when you do, like, it will eat you up if you don't know how to, how to handle the mental and emotional struggles that, that are within this new normal. It will eat you up if, if you don't find a way to put yourself first and understand what self-care is on, on all levels. I mean, I know self-care is, you know, I don't want it to be cliché, like, it is, it is not just going to the gym. I mean, it's definitely a part of it, but it's also Spending time with just you, whether, you know, that's meditation, intentionally finding time to breathe for 5 minutes, or even if it's 1 minute. If it's gratitude journaling, which has been a powerful thing because that makes you kind of step back and look, evaluate your day and find if it was a really rough day, there was a couple things in there, a couple nuggets in there that you want to remember and know like, Yeah, that was, that was a moment that I don't want to take for granted. That was very important to me to have that conversation with a friend or to have that 5 minutes this morning by myself with no noise. You know, it's those things that will help you create a positive shift within your mind every day.

That's powerful. That's so powerful.

Yeah. Yes.

Thank you for that reminder. I'm like, I need to get back to my gratitude journal. Staring at me right now. Back to that, you're so right. We have to find the joy in the little moments, you know, because every day is not going to be flashy and great. And we're not signing clients every day and like doing all these things like give us this adrenaline pump every single day. It's like we have to find the peace and the joy and the happiness within and in the little moments, you know.

So absolutely.

Yeah, you're so right.

OK, Jennifer, so where can our listeners connect with you if they are curious about connecting with you, if they want to get to know you more, if they want to follow along your journey? Where can they connect with you and learn more about you?

Yeah, thanks for asking. I, I would— I am offering complimentary clarity calls for those that are just have a peek of interest into what, what this could look like, what coaching could look like for them.

So love—

email me at Jennifer@justcommitcoaching.com, as well as I am on Instagram @justcommitcoaching. And honestly, I've had a great following and just connection and networking through LinkedIn, because there's a lot of— we like to find the personal within the professional realm. And that's one of the things I valued most, honestly, when I was— my last year in corporate sales was that I was a mentor. And that these, these, these sales professionals, they would reach out to me and it wasn't to talk about, oh, what do I do in this sales call? How do I handle this buyer? It was like, I've got this going on in my life. And I'm not going to go talk to my sales manager about it. I don't, I don't want to talk to my spouse about it. But I need someone to talk to. So, so LinkedIn has been a really great platform for me to kind of fuel my business and kind of share my nuggets on there with with other professionals. So love to connect on there as well. I am on Facebook just under my name, Jennifer Chapman, right now. I'm working on creating that group, but like you and I talked before, I want it to be quality over quantity. So I'm still trying to navigate what that's going to look like. Yeah. Yes.

I love it.

I love it. Yeah.

You got to follow, follow what works for you. There's a thousand different ways to work a business. I mean, to like build a business and run a business and like all the things you just have to find the way that works for you.

You know, 100%, and it's trial and error.

Like, literally, I've changed my mind, I've thrown things out, I've gotten rid of things, like, and that's literally part of the process. So that's— yeah, that's awesome.

No, love it. Yeah, thank you, Jennifer.

Thank you for sharing that with us. I'm so glad that we get to chat today. Um, so y'all go connect with Jennifer. You're also over on Instagram, right? Do you share that? Okay, so @just @justcommitcoaching. Is that it?

Yes. Yes. @justcommitcoaching.

So you can also connect with Jennifer there. And I just want to say thank you for coming on today and sharing your journey with us. And if any of you listening have resonated and if you, you know, want to hear more of this or if you want to connect with Jennifer, definitely feel free to reach out to her. Leave us a review on the podcast. That is like currency in the podcast world that helps our show reach more people and helps it impact—

helps, um, you know, other coaches be impacted by these conversations.

So leave us a review, and we will see you all in the next episode.

Thank you so much, Jennifer. Thank you so much.