#67: Client Interview: Breaking free from outside expectations & living a life radically true to yourself!

Just trust your intuition because that would never lead you wrong. Sometimes our intuition comes in different ways. Some, some people, it may be numbers, synchronicities, and signs. Or sometimes you just get that nudge, you know, to work with that particular coach or to know to do a certain thing, and you don't know why, but you're drawn to it. So just explore that and see how, how that goes.

Hello, welcome to Aligned and Wealthy. Whether you are an online business owner, a growing professional, or a woman who just desires more, we welcome all of you here. This is the community where we lead through both tenacity and heart. Each week you can expect solo motivational talks and trainings with your host, Lindsay Vadillo. That's me. Or interviews and candid conversations with guest experts and fellow rising leaders. We cover all things marketing, business, current events, and personal development. New episodes are released every single Wednesday, so hit the follow button and get ready for the rise. All right, welcome back everyone to Aligned and Wealthy. It is your host here, Lindsay Baddio. I'm so excited to have you back for a new episode. I have a dear friend, I have a beautiful soul who I have worked with. I am so honored to have you here. Welcome to the show, Ping.

Thank you so much, Lindsay.

Awesome. So, so Ping and I actually met, you guys, like for those that are listening, we actually met about 7 or 8 months ago maybe. And Ping is such— and I wanted her to come on because she has just been such a phenomenal soul to work with. And I want her to— and it's just, it's so crazy. We're gonna talk more about this, but just how, how easily— and I know that in the moment, it didn't always feel easy. But but just how open she has been to working in this process, to owning what it is that she does, to owning her power in the coaching space, and to really just becoming this source of light and healing and breakthrough for her clients that she's now working with. So yeah, Ping, I'm so excited to have you here and to share this with our listeners.

Thank you, Lindsay. I'm so excited. And just to, just to shout you out, I think you've been such a phenomenal coach. Um, just, bringing me, bringing me to that place of confidence where I could believe in myself to break through some of these barriers that I had to go through to be a life coach. So thank you so much.

I really appreciate you. Oh, thank you. I promise that was not scripted. Thank you so much. That seriously lights me up, you know, just like, especially those of you that follow us on, on Instagram and stuff. I've shared just how much, like, how pivotal my life and my business and, and my direction has been lately. And Ping, you know, being one of my private clients, like, you've been there through all of it. And I literally could not have asked for just such a more like centered client to be a part, like to be a part of this journey with, you know, and I think that that's also why it's so important that like, we are picky with who we sign, we are picky with the people that we work with, we are direct about people that we don't want to work with, right? And that we're attracting those type of people into our lives, right?

Yes, absolutely. Lindsey, couldn't agree more.

Yep. Awesome. Okay. So enough about me. Let's talk about you. Let's talk about a little, you know, introduce yourself, what it is that you do and who do you work with?

So yeah, thanks. So I'm a life coach for women who want to break free from outside expectations and live a life that's radically true to themselves. So really what I do is I help mentor and support women who, you know, feel a little stuck, but they know they want more in life and they know they're made for so much more and they really want to confidently step outside their comfort zone to achieve their goals and, you know, really create their own definition of what success looks like to them on their own terms.

Yeah. So good. So good. I love what you say about— and I like remember whenever we were coming up with all this messaging and like we were doing this work.

Yes.

And so I just, I feel so connected to this. So I love the way that you work with women specifically who are breaking free of outside expectations, right? Like that was something that was so important, you know, whether it's cultural expectations, religious expectations, family expectations. Like, can you tell us a little bit about why that was important to you and how you really got to that space?

Yeah, definitely. So I feel like my, my life has— the way it's unfolded has been really been a shedding of these expectations and learning to overcome them. I grew up in Singapore from a very, in a very conservative Christian household. And my parents were, I would say I was very people pleasing, should I say. I'm the older of two daughters and, you know, all in my academic life, I always strive for good grades. I was always wanting to please my parents in that way. And I felt that there was one way in which I, tried breaking free early on in my life in terms of expectations was after my parents asked me to take a law degree, which I didn't feel law was aligned with me. I'm not a very confrontational person, so law was not my cup of tea. But, you know, just to please them, to get a professional degree, I went ahead, studied for 4 years to get in law school to get my lawyer degree. And then after that, I took a very unconventional route to say that let's be a flight attendant.

You're like, I'm done with this. Oh, wow. Yeah. How did your parents react to that?

Not very well at all. They were shocked and they were thinking, oh my gosh, your daughter is going to be sucked down this materialistic lifestyle hole and it's going to be, you know, ruined. Life is going to be ruined as a flight attendant.

Yeah.

So they were very against me being a flight attendant, but I just assured them, you know, mom, dad, I'm just going to do this for 1, maybe 1.5 years just to see the world, just to get this experience. And after that, I'm going to get a normal job. Okay. So don't worry about that.

Temporary. Don't worry. I'm fine.

Yes, yes. And then after that, sure enough, about 1.5 years later, I quit my flying job and did a more, you know, what we term a more respectable 9-to-5 job as a teacher. And then I actually joined a kind of like an educational institution where I taught in there for a good, you know, 12, 13 years, just climbing the ranks as a teacher all the way to become an assistant director, managing a small team of teachers and supervising the curriculum development and stuff like that.

No big deal. I didn't even know that.

So that's my corporate story, I suppose, of going back to conforming again, right?

Yep, yep, absolutely.

Yes.

I'm sorry if my computer keeps dinging.

Oh, no worries. Yeah. And then basically, to cut a long story short, I was at that time also about 5, 6 years ago, stuck in an unhappy marriage, not fulfilled in my job as well. And I was just trying to— I knew there was something out there for me that was better than the life I was having. And I was just— I just wanted to break free, right? Totally make a change. But it was hard for me even at that time because I wanted a divorce at that time. My parents, again, being very religious, they were against the divorce. Even my church was against the divorce. So it was a lot of stuff that I had to overcome just to make that personal decision for freedom, so-called, to have the chance to— Yeah, yeah, exactly. To start my life anew, so to speak. So then I quit my stable but soul-sucking 9-to-5 job in 2017. I also met the love of my life. I remarried, got remarried after my divorce, and I moved to the United States at the end of 2017 to kind of start life anew. So that was kind of like the 180 or 360 totally of my life.

What a journey. Wow. It's like, no wonder we were just talking before we hit record. But our real life experiences that are really what fuel us, you know, with the knowledge and with the tool sets and with, with the app to help other people, right? Like that, that's the ground that we have to stand on because you've left relationships, you've, you know, had to confront your family in those situations. So it's like, yes, you know, you left careers, like you moved across, like literally, you know, across the world. Yeah. And so it's like, that's, that's pretty big. Like, those are big, big things. So it's like, yeah, wonder you can help women like break the expectations that are around them and tear down those, those constraints that they feel like they have on them to people please and to do what it is that they think that they're supposed to be doing because that's what they were told. And so much goodness. So much there. Yeah, that's awesome.

Yes. Thank you, Lindsay. So from that space, I just, I just knew I wanted to help women in a similar position to really break free and, you know, to live their own life, create life on their own terms. Yes.

Yes.

So good.

Would you say that like the women that you are working with, the clients that do come your way, do you say, would you say that their, that their situations always look different, that what that means to them is always different? Hey gang, Lindsay here. If you are a rising business owner who is navigating the personal and professional woes of entrepreneurship and you find yourself thinking, I wish I had someone to help unclutter all of the plans swarming around in my head, or I have big goals for this year and I could really use a plan to help me achieve those things, then I invite you to book a one-time laser strategy session with me. This is a one-time private coaching and consulting session where we map out your high-level marketing and sales plan. We'll answer any questions you have around business mindset or leading within your life and business. You can book your one-time session directly through the link in today's show notes. Spots are limited for each month, so be sure to book yours as soon as you desire to get on the calendar. Okay, now back to today's episode.

Yes, yes, what that success means to them is very different. Some women, they, uh, they prefer to prioritize like connections and relationships, and that's one area that they're working in. Some women are more ambition-driven, right, and money, working towards monetary success. And nothing wrong with that, of course. It's all based on what we define as success for ourselves.

Yeah, absolutely. And they— and, and with the piece of like shedding and, and releasing those expectations, it's different expectations, right? It's from a different place in their lives. It's, it's It's not cookie cutter, right?

Yes, yes, definitely not cookie cutter at all.

Wow. Wow. So good thing. And you know, that's for any coach or service provider that's listening. All of your clients are going to be different. I think that we put a lot of pressure. We just have a lot like, you know, for an example, if any of my other clients are listening to this or anyone that's been through Align to Coach Academy is listening to this, we come up with our big 6, right? And we come up with like with the process that our clients are going to work. But I think it's like disclaimer. This may change. In fact, this will probably change, like, this will probably change, especially in private client situations. Because not every situation is the same, same, your clients are unique, they have unique problems, they have unique visions and goals and where they're heading. So I think it's super important that like, as we're making those frameworks, and even laying out programs and offers, like just being super open to change, and like just being super open to like being malleable and flexible and just ready to use your intuition intuition, which you are so good at, in making those changes on the spot, right?

Totally. And I think what I took away from your mentorship and what you've really been so good at helping me hone is just to— just being with the client throughout that container is enough. Holding space for them is enough. Being the accountability buddy is enough. And also, of course, being really super present with them in the session, not to, you know, want to push our ideas across and so on. We may have a structure, we may have a plan for how our sessions might go, but really to be super present to see what their needs are. And also, like you said, to lean into our intuition to customize the plan just for them.

Yeah. Yeah. There's like a saying somewhere that says, like, number one, make the plan. Like, step one, make the plan. Step two, throw the plan out. You know, it's like, have a plan, but like, be ready to pivot, you know, as needed. So, yes, that's so true, especially in that case. So, yeah, I agree. I agree. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. So, okay. So I want us to like rewind, like let's flashback, like let's go back to whenever, because I know that there is someone listening right now who is in this place of wanting to get their business off the ground or they are wanting to scale to the next level. Right. But really I think this is more so towards the women who are just like, I'm ready to break out of the shell. I'm ready to get out there. Just tell me what to do. I'm ready for it. Like, let's rewind whenever you were in that place. And can you just kind of like riff on some of the things that you felt, some of the limiting beliefs, quote unquote, like what, how did, like, what did you feel in those moments? And like, and how did you work through that to get to where you are now selling high-ticket packages, like doing your thing, living this, you know, this life where you're, where you're, where you are serving and you are working with, with your clients. Right.

Yes, yes. So I remember, Lindsay, like you mentioned, it was not too long ago that I was, you know, just wanting to— I just knew I had a gift, but I didn't know how to package it up. And you were, you know, your mentorship really helped to crystallize that for me. And I think one of the things that I overcome was probably like, kind of like fear of putting myself out there and being visible. I remembered like the first Instagram post I wrote about my story and how I, you know, transitioned out of my I left my 9-to-5 job and left an unhappy marriage and all that stuff. It felt— I felt very vulnerable sharing that. Oh, it is so vulnerable. Yeah, yeah. And I had this thought, what if my family reads this or somebody from my past reads this? I mean, not that it wouldn't matter, but, you know, I just, I just felt I might be judged for what I was saying. Yep, right. Putting myself out on the line. So that was one of those big fears I had to overcome. And I would say the best way to overcome some of these fears is just to do the thing. What?

It's mind-blowing! Just do the thing?

You don't say!

Oh wow, yeah, just, just do it. Get out of your comfort zone. Do it.

Yeah, yeah, just get out of a comfort zone and do it. And, and for, for the women who need a little bit more, um, reassurance even before they step out of the comfort zone and they're comfortable just doing the thing, And then we can also, you know, think about, you know, if we have this limiting belief, like maybe we will be judged, is that ultimately true? Right. We can ask ourselves, is that true? And if it's not true, then what is more true? Right. Yeah. Yeah.

And so the truth is, well, it's even like you probably will be judged, number one, right? Everyone's going to judge you whether it's good or bad. Everyone's always making judgments about you, but is it true that like they're going to turn on you or that it's going to mean anything about you, right?

Yeah.

Like, like, I think for me, I was so afraid that people would think— I remember coming into relationship coaching, and I'm like, these people who know me are gonna think, who the heck is Lindsey to be coaching on that, right?

Right.

And so I was afraid of judgment, but also like afraid of being ridiculed, or afraid of talking about me, or afraid of someone saying, you don't know how to do that, or like, who are you to do that, you know? So it's almost like being knocked back down. Like, it's like, oh, you finally get the confidence, to do it, let me just knock you back down, right? Because you don't have any right to be there. That's scary.

Yeah, that's totally scary. But I would say, based on my experience of just doing the thing and stepping out of my comfort zone, I found that my mindset caught up pretty quickly because nothing bad happened. Nothing bad happened after I put myself out there. I didn't get scorned or judged. It was just an irrational fear in my mind.

Wow. And then your ego's like, oh, okay, this is safe.

Yeah, I am safe.

You're such a natural. I'm now being like, you have to go and follow Ping. Ping, what's your Instagram handle?

So yeah, sure. You can find me on Instagram at @theping.carlson.

Say it again.

So it's a T-H-E, the, dot, Ping, P-I-N-G, dot Carlson, C-A-R-L-S-O-N. Yeah, that's right.

I love your content, Ping. Every time I see your content on my feed, I'm like, she's She's so good at this. Like, I just love reading your stuff. You get the best engagement. So good. And so, yes, just doing the thing and then your mindset caught up and you're like, I'm a natural. No worries. Don't worry, I'm so good at this.

So it didn't feel natural at all, though, to be honest, when I first started. I think it's with practice and with time. I still remember, Lindsay, do you even remember at the start of us working together, I would even, I would send you my content for vetting, right? I would say, hey, Lindsay, this is the post that I wrote and planning to post on Instagram. What do you think of it?

Yep, I do remember that. And I think I remember the first time I was like, yeah, yeah, it looks good. And then I think it happened again. I was like, all right, Pink, I don't want these anymore. Thank you. Just run with it. Just run with it. It's your truth. Like, it's your truth. And there is no— you can't say the wrong thing if you're speaking truthfully and you're in your integrity and you're speaking from, from your lived-in experience. You can't say the wrong thing. Right? Yeah, you just can't. You're going to attract your people. You're going to repel the people that are not for you. Every time someone unfollows you, you should be saying thank you. You know, it's like, bye-bye, out of my bubble. Like, it's like, thank you for the unfollows. Thank you for the people that say nope, can't stand her, or though, you know, like the way that she talks, right? Like I used to be super, I used to be super self-conscious because I live in Georgia and I do have a Southern accent. And, and so I, you know, if someone would point that out, it would make me super self-conscious. But it's like, that's just me. And that's my accent. And that's how I talk. And if you don't want to hear it, don't listen.

Yeah. In fact, I found your accent a very endearing part about you because that's what makes you different.

Well, shucks. Well, bless your heart, sweetie pie.

I thought it was very charming that you had this Southern accent.

See, and that is an example of attracting your people, right? Like, that is an example of like who it's for, it's for, and they're going to love it and they're going to get it. And it's like, if you get it, you get it. And if you don't, then it's not for you.

Exactly.

So awesome. Awesome thing. All right. So I want us to talk about, I remember about halfway through our container together, you had this huge epiphany of like the mindset shift. And I think even like the internal shifting of hard work and of this, entrepreneur, like going from like a 9 to 5 mindset into this, like entrepreneur and like really, excuse me, of like living what it is that you— what it is that we talk about, right? Like, it's like, can I walk the walk and talk the talk of like, oh, like I'm trusting and I'm, you know, transitioning from this hustle mentality to now I have to take care of me. Like, okay, I'm gonna let you talk about it. Now you do this.

Yes, yes. So definitely, I remember that so well. And that is one of the key takeaways from our container really about this hustle mindset and how when we want to work for ourselves and work from home and create our own schedule, and we have to break free from all of that, right? And I remember you even sharing with me it's okay to work 3 to 4 hours a day and take off days. In fact, you don't have to work an 8-hour day or work 40, 35, 40, 50-hour work weeks like we would have to have done if we were working a corporate 9-to-5 job. Right. And so I had to shed all these beliefs that hard work equals success or the harder I work, the more money I make. I had to de-link that totally. Right.

Absolutely. And, and I think that things got easier whenever you gave yourself permission to rest and to nap in your true projector sense. Right. All of my fellow Human Design nerds out there, you know, it's like, oh, oh, I can rest. And that's actually fueling me for me to go and do my job really, really well, right?

Yes, yes. And I remember you sharing with me, like, what if taking care of you and resting was part of your job, right? Yeah, because as coaches, part of our job is protecting our energy so that when we show up, we show up from a good place, from good energetic space, right?

Absolutely.

So yeah, so if we don't do that and we run ourselves down or we overwork, And that's not good either because we are not showing up in our best. We're not giving our best to our clients, or we're not showing up on social media as our best selves. So that doesn't serve anyone if we show up from that place. And I think what you shared with me, really shedding light on that projector, when I had to give myself the understanding that this is how my energy levels work, it serves to protect me, I shouldn't be ashamed of it, I shouldn't feel it up, I shouldn't beat myself up over it, right? At first, I always felt guilty of resting because I thought I was being lazy. I was not doing the stuff I should be doing. I wasn't showing up online and stuff like that, which I should. You can see it on my language, a lot of shoulds, right? Should be this, I should do that, but I'm not doing it, so I feel guilty. So I beat myself up over it, right? So I had to overcome a lot of those little blocks, I suppose, about what I should be doing and really lean into who I truly am. And celebrate that this is how I operate. This is how I work. Let's, let's work with the flow instead of working against who I naturally am in my essence.

Mind-blowing, right? It's so mind-blowing.

I know.

Oh, it's so good. Yes. Yes. Because like, I think there's such like, we can work hard and we can hit our deadlines and like we can get shit done. Right. And we can take care of ourselves. Like, and we know, like we have to know when, Enough is enough. I've done all I can do today, right? This is good. I've hit my income generating activities. Like I've done the things that need to be done. Yeah.

Right.

And I don't have to keep hustling and like looking for more, right? I even find, I even found myself in this loophole sometimes of where I will pick up my phone out of habit and I'll go to like Instagram or go to check my email. Email has been a big thing for me recently. Checking my email and I'm like, what am I doing? Like, what am I looking for in there? It's fine, you know, like everything is good. And I think it's actually us, we're searching for, everyone's different, right? But I think sometimes it can be us searching for the dopamine or searching for the feeling of accomplishment, right?

Yes.

Looking for, oh, did I book the call today? Or did I sign the client today? Because we're looking for that to give us the feeling of accomplishment. We're looking for that to give us the endorphins, right? Like, we're looking for that to make us feel fulfilled all over. When in fact, it's like, business and clients and money, that's a piece of the pie. Like, heck to yes, give me all the money and all the clients and all the good stuff and all the, you know, great stuff in business, but that's only a piece of the pie, right? Like, we have our family, we have our health, we have our mental health, right?

Right.

So it's, it's, it's a fine balance and we have to give ourselves permission to do what works for us. Right.

Yeah, definitely, Lindsay. And I think one of those things I had to learn being a new coach back then was how to let go, like you mentioned, of the external validation. Right. You know, being attached to how many likes and comments we get on our posts or how many eyeballs read our, you know, on our stories, for instance. Right. It's so natural to get caught up in all these metrics. And to beat ourselves up over it if we feel it's not up to par, right? And when really there always is a period of time between you putting in the work as a coach or me putting in work as a coach until we see the result, whether that be a new client signing on or some tangible result of our work. And I think what he taught me is, can we hold the faith in the in-between period, right? Hold the faith that the client is on her way to you, she's on her way to you, and not to give up up even when things seem hard or things seem not to be working, quote unquote, right?

Absolutely. Yes. I love it. And it's like the growth is in the micro moments in between, you know, the growth is, is in, it's in the small moments in between all the big decisions. Yes. All the big moves. It's in the small moments whenever you are giving yourself grace and whenever you are trusting the process, you know, whenever you are trusting that the client will sign the contract and they will send the payment, like that's That's what the growth is, right? It's like knowing it's going to be okay. I'm still moving forward. I'm still on my way. And this is the way that it is, you know, this part of business. This is it. This is me living the life that I've worked so hard for, right? That's gotten me here.

Yes, exactly. Exactly.

Yes. Awesome thing. Well, thank you so much for sharing. If you could tell our listeners anything, what would you tell them? Anything at all, whether it's about, you know, letting go of expectations or their business, I don't know, what type of encouragement would you, would you give them?

I would say just trust your intuition because that would never lead you wrong. Sometimes our intuition comes in different ways. Some, for some people it may be numbers, synchronicities, and signs, or sometimes you just get that nudge, you know, to work with that particular coach or to know to do a certain thing, and you don't know why, but you're drawn to it. So just explore that and see how, how that goes. And also another thing is I used to think that I had to have my whole life laid out in front of me in order— I used to think that I had to know the how, the strategy, even before I took the action. So if I don't see how this is going to work, then I don't believe, right? I don't think I can take the action. But now I find that in business and in life, it's not really how it pans out. We just have to take the next aligned action, and when we're in a state of flow and inspiration, guess what? The next, the next, the next step appears in front of us, right? And we are led in that direction, right? Yes, yes.

Yeah, action breeds action. Like, anytime we're going to take a step forward, guess what? It's going to be so much easier to get to the next step forward, right?

Yes, yes.

Hop to the end, like, you have to keep taking steps forward in between. Yeah, exactly. That's the whole thing. Thank you so much for sharing that. All right, so one more time, where can our listeners connect with you? How can they learn more from you? Do you have anything that you'd like to offer them? Anything anything fun going on right now in your realm of the world?

Yes, yes. So they can follow me on Instagram. I'm @thepinkcarlson. And if, if your listeners would like to book a call with me in terms of like, you know, to really get to the next level and to, you know, identify some of those, those blocks that are holding me back, holding them back, I would be happy for them. I've included the link link for them to book a breakthrough call with me.

Yes. Oh my gosh, that would be amazing, Ping. You're such a gem and your clients, like, they experience such deep breakthrough. So this is so good. I'm so excited to include that link in the show notes for today. So thank you so much, Ping, for joining us. You guys go and connect with Ping. Tell her what your favorite takeaway was. What nugget are you walking away with from today's episode?

Episode.

And yeah, thank you so much, Ping. I wish you so much success and love and joy and alignment and all the things in your, in your future endeavors.

Thank you, Lizzy.

Also, all right, everyone, we will see you in the next episode of Aligned and Wealthy. In the meantime, let us know what you enjoyed the most. Come and say hi on Instagram. You can also follow our page on Instagram at Aligned and Wealthy., and we will see you all in next week's episode.

See you later.

Hey gang, it's Lindsey. If you enjoyed today's show, it would mean so much for you to take 1 to 2 minutes and leave us a review right here on your podcast platform. You can click directly on the link to our podcast page, scroll to where it says reviews, and leave us a 1 to 5 star review. 5-star preferably, to really be the gold star student, you can share with us what episode or what episodes you've enjoyed most and what you'd want to hear more of. I personally read every single review and I would love to be able to share your review on one of our next episodes. So thank you so much for listening and I will see you in the next episode.