The Hard Truth About Dementia & Driving | Lisa Skinner

Are you caring for a loved one with dementia? You don't have to figure this out all on your own. Welcome to Truth, Lies Alzheimer's, the show that helps you reimagine a new relationship with your loved one, a relationship a little more free of stress and anxiety. Join host Lisa Skinner and her 30+ years of experience as she guides you on a new path to a better relationship with those you care for. Here's Lisa.

Hello everyone, welcome back for another new episode of The Truth Lies in Alzheimer's Show. I'm Lisa Skinner, your host. How many of you have been challenged and kind of painted into a corner regarding the dreaded driving subject with your loved one. If this has happened to you, you have already been in the situation with just how difficult this topic is. For those of you who haven't yet but are maybe facing it in the near future, that's what our topic is today, is how driving with dementia and navigating when to talk, when they should stop driving, how to talk about it, and how to protect everyone. Driving is often more than a way to get from A to B. It's a symbol of our independence, control, and our identity for most of us. For people living with dementia, the tension between preserving autonomy and ensuring safety becomes the acutely fine line. In today's episode of The Truth Lies in Alzheimer's Show, I'm going to be examining how dementia impacts driving, when it might be time to stop, some effective strategies for you to have conversations with the person affected, and practical, compassionate steps to prevent harm to the driver and others on the road. Understanding the link between dementia, autonomy, and driving is important. Some of the areas of consideration are dementia and driving safety, because dementia obviously affects people's memory. Their attention, their ability to use sound judgment, their reaction time, spatial awareness, and problem solving. Now, these changes gradually erode the ability to respond safely to complex driving environments. In regard to autonomy and identity, Driving often reinforces independence. It represents independence for people. Their self-worth is tied into that. And of course, the routines that they're familiar doing. Abrupt loss of that ability can feel like a loss of their dignity or their agency. There's a risk landscape involved, and the risk isn't limited to just one mistake. It's about increasing vulnerability to disorientation. You have to take into consideration medication interactions, fatigue, and coexisting health issues that can worsen driving performance as the disease is progressing. So this is the $64 bazillion question, and I get it a lot. When should someone living with dementia stop driving? Well, there really isn't a single universal threshold, but several indicators that include clinical, functional, and practical aspects. That can guide a decision. So consulting with healthcare professionals is key. You want to make sure you do that. And then there are medical and cognitive indicators that need to be taken under consideration. Diagnosed dementia with documented decline in memory, attention, judgment,, or problem solving that affects driving task, which stands to reason all of those would. Emergence of new driving errors. So some examples of that would look like getting lost, misjudging distances, failing to observe pedestrians or traffic signals, frequent near errors. A lack of judgment, getting traffic violations, or maybe getting into an accident. And then you want to look for difficulty following directions, confusing— could they be confused by road signs or mixing up the exits? Now, functional indicators would look like an inability to stay within lane lines or maintain consistent speed, or they're having trouble coordinating hand-eye actions with pedal control. They're showing a reduced ability to react quickly to unexpected events. For example, a child darting into the street. It's hard enough when you have a healthy brain. Difficulty handling complex driving environments like Being in a high-traffic situation, going through intersections, night driving, and adverse weather all increases risk to the driver, even with a healthy brain. The health and medication considerations are, once again, side effects from medications, and that actually could include drowsiness, dizziness, confusion that could impair their driving. New medical conditions affecting balance, vision, or cognition. And then we need to take into consideration situational indicators, which are, for example, increased embarrassment or fear about driving performance by the person themselves or their family members. Receiving feedback from driving assessments or licensing authorities about driving safety. There's legal and regulatory considerations. Some regions even require medical reporting to licensing authorities when dementia is diagnosed. Those are our mandatory reporters, such as the medical team, our primary care physicians. Loss of driving privileges or mandatory driving assessments may be mandated already by law or medical professionals. So you can check with the physician. If you notice a combination of any of these indicators that I just went over with you, it's wise to initiate a careful collaborative planning process with the medical professionals and your loved ones. So here are some of the best ways to have that conversation. Conversations about driving cessation are quite delicate. The goals are safety, empathy, and preserving the person's dignity and sense of control wherever possible. So, plan the conversation thoughtfully. Choose a calm, private setting without distractions. Schedule the conversation at a time when the person is rested and not acutely frustrated or overwhelmed. Involve a trusted professional, the physician, an occupational therapist, a social worker, to provide an objective input to the conversation. Lead with empathy and validation. Acknowledge the person's feelings. You could say something like, "Mom, I know how important driving is to you and how hard this is to discuss." You validate their autonomy. Emphasize that safety is not about losing control. But about preserving independence in other meaningful ways. Use concrete, nonjudgmental language. Focus on specific safety concerns and observable changes rather than labels like confused. One example of how you can phrase that is, Mom, I've noticed you've had trouble staying in your lane and reacting quickly to sudden stops, and I'm really worried about you getting into an accident. You can highlight shared goals and alternatives. In other words, reframe as a transition to safer but still independent living, such as access to transportation, routine, social engagement, and self-sufficiency in other areas. Try proposing concrete alternatives early on, such as ridesharing, community shuttles, family or friend networks, or assisted transportation services. You can start planting those seeds early on. So by the time you have to have that very difficult conversation, they may be more prepared to hear more details about it. Involve your loved one in that decision-making process. Ask for their input. What would make you feel more secure about continuing to drive or even to stop driving? That's a good example. You can offer a phased plan that can include a gradual reduction in driving privileges supervised driving assessments, or driving only in familiar areas. Plan for practical demonstrations and assessments. You can schedule a formal driving assessment with an occupational therapist or driving specialist. And then another thing you can consider is what we call a step-down approach. For example, Limit driving just to daylight hours, to familiar routes, or non-peak times before full cessation. You could prepare for resistance and provide support by first of all acknowledging and accepting that denial and frustration are very common, especially when it comes to the time to stop driving conversation. Most people are very resistant to it. They don't understand why. So make sure you maintain a calm, steady tone. Have a support network ready. That could include other family members, friends, or care partners. And document their concerns and decisions. Keep records of observed safety concerns, professional assessments, and the agreed plan. This can definitely help with ongoing coordination in any future discussions. Now, you can also create safety planning alongside the conversation by Identifying immediate safety measures if driving continues: reduce speeds, avoid busy intersections, driving only with a companion, develop a transition plan for stopping driving that respects the person's autonomy in other aspects of life. So, We're going to move on to how to stop driving without endangering people's lives. Suspending driving is not a single event. It often requires a multi-pronged compassionate approach. Might include professional assessments and formal recommendations. It might include obtaining a driving evaluation from a licensed occupational therapist or a driving rehabilitation specialist. Again, seek input from a primary care physician or a neurologist who understands dementia progression. There are legal and regulatory steps as applicable in your community, so you want to confirm any jurisdictional requirements. For reporting cognitive impairment to licensing authorities. They vary from state to state, from county to county, so check into that. Understand the revocation process and potential appeals or appeals support before you get to the point of having to really kind of put your foot down about this. Family, caregiver, and social support structures are important to have. You can coordinate with a network of trusted family members or friends to ensure safe transportation alternatives. Identify a designated driver schedule or community transportation option. Some other transportation alternatives and safety nets are that you can explore senior-friendly transit services, volunteer driver programs, or subsidized ride programs. You can set up door-to-door transportation for appointments, social activities, and for running daily errands. We also now have in place some technology-assisted safety measures where they deem appropriate, and by these I mean use GPS-based monitoring tools in vehicles to detect unsafe driving patterns with consent and privacy considerations. Consider vehicles with advanced safety features or transition to non-driving mobility aids like wheelchairs, scooters, or assisted living options as needed. And then You might want to also put into place a trial period for phased cessation. And what you can do with that regard is implement a gradual reduction in driving rather than just a cold turkey abrupt stop to ease adaptation. Establish clear milestones or timeframes to reassess driving capability. Pre-plan an end of driving strategy. Securely store or disable keys or restrict vehicle access under agreed terms. Prepare a respectful script for notifying others, like family, close friends, about the change that's about to happen. And in regard to supporting the person through this transition, you always want to preserve their dignity and identity. So you can do that by emphasizing their remaining independence in other life areas: decision-making, hobbies, routines. Encourage involvement in activities that provide purpose and social connection. Maintaining safety for all. Ensure that the person has a plan for safe travel and essential activities like their medical appointments and their social events. If they're living alone, coordinate with communities or neighbors for check-ins and transportation support. We know the saying, "It takes a village." And when it comes to living with dementia, it truly takes a village. Regarding emotional and psychological support, be attentive to grief, to their grief, to their loss and potential depression related to losing their driving privileges. Consider counseling or support groups for individuals with dementia and their families. And then practical daily life strategies. Have a plan in place. You can do this. Here's some suggestions. Create structured schedules for their errands with alternatives arranged in advance. Use phone and online services to reduce the need for independent driving in those things particular scenarios. And don't forget to stop by and visit us at mindingdementia.com, our newly updated website where we do offer a subscription, a free subscription to our weekly newsletter, and where we upload new information, tips, and strategies all the time. So don't miss out on that information. I'm going to pick up with giving you some practical scenarios and conversation starters that you can use or adapt to your specific situation. So here's scenario number 1. You've noticed frequent wrong turns and that they're having slow reaction times. So here's a starter conversation for you. Mom, I've noticed you've had more difficulty finding familiar streets lately. I want us to talk about what we can do to help keep you safe while staying as independent as possible. Second scenario, your loved one resists giving up the car after a minor mishap. Here's a starter conversation for you. Mom, your safety matters to me more than the car. Let's try a plan where you'll still be in control, but with transportation options for times when you're tired or unsure. Next scenario. There's a medical appointment requiring difficult driving conditions. Starter: Mom, for today's appointment, let's arrange a ride together. If you're uncomfortable, we can arrange a future plan that gradually reduces your driving. Here's some resources and next steps for you. Seek a formal driving assessment. By a licensed occupational therapist or driving rehabilitation specialist. This is probably the most popular thing that people do, is they lean on the love— their loved one's primary care physician or neurologist for medical clearance and risk assessment. Your doctors can and will do that. They will also take it upon themselves to have that difficult conversation with your loved one. And what we have all found over, you know, many, many decades of trial and error is that a person, our loved one, will respond more positively to that conversation if it's coming from their doctor whom they already trust and look up to, than from a family member where they may perceive it as a very negative thing that's going to be happening to them, especially if it's a son or a daughter. You just want to take my independence away, and that's the way they perceive it. So lean on your doctors to do that. Have that conversation already pre-planned before you actually make that appointment. You could also explore local transportation services for seniors where they can provide you with community shuttles. There are volunteer driver programs, non-emergency medical transport, and then always review legal considerations in your particular jurisdiction. Regarding reporting dementia and driving privileges. Access caregiver support groups and dementia-friendly resources where you can share your experiences and learn from theirs to gain practical advice. And then our final thoughts are the balance between autonomy and safety is very delicate. And deeply, deeply personal. Clear communication, professional guidance, and compassionate planning can surely help preserve dignity while reducing risk. Early conversations, proactive assessments, and well-structured transportation alternatives are essential to protect both the person living with dementia and the broader community. Each situation is unique. Collaborate with healthcare professionals, involve trusted family members and friends, and tailor your approaches to your individual person's values, preferences, and daily routines. So that's what I have for today's episode. And I know this is a very difficult situation, probably one of the hardest ones that you will encounter. A lot of them are very difficult, but this is especially difficult. So I wish you all the best of luck, and hopefully this has been very helpful. So I will be back, as always, next week with another new episode of The Truth, Lies Alzheimer's Show. I'm Lisa Skinner, your host, and I wish you all a great and wonderful rest of your week, and I look forward to seeing you back here next week. So take care for now. Bye-bye.

Thank you for listening to Truth, Lies Alzheimer's. We hope you found something in today's episode that helps. We understand that caring for a loved one with dementia can be the challenge of a lifetime, but you don't have to do it alone. If you're ready for exclusive access to even more great content and resources, head on over to Facebook and join Lisa Skinner's Minding Dementia support group. We're a community of like-minded caregivers, and we're here to help.