This content was created by Lois Letchford. This content was uploaded by Lois Letchford. This is a YouTube video titled "Isaac Letchford Reads 'How To Be a Pirate': Chapter 2" (posted 2022-10-04). The excerpt is an English dramatic/narrated reading by Isaac Letchford of Chapter 2, "The Fight with Dog's Breath the Dubrain," from a children's/YA pirate/dragon story (related to the How to Train Your Dragon universe). The narration includes character dialogue (Hiccup, Dog's Breath/Dugsworth, Toothless, Snotlout, Fishlegs, etc.), crowd chants and sound-action descriptions, presented as a performative audiobook-style reading.
Chapters
Chapter 2, The Fight with Dog's Breath the Dubrain. Dog's Breath stood pawing the deck in anticipation. Kill him, Dog's Breath! shouted Snotlout, Dog's Breath's friend and fellow bully. Snotlout loathed Hiccup. I will, grinned Dog's Breath. This is gonna be a massacre, hissed Dog's Breath, dragging An ugly great gauntlet with a pug nose and a mean temper. My master's gonna tear this hiccup limb from limb and throw him to the gulls. Don't bet on it, said Toothless with a lot of conviction, and he gave Sea Slug a sharp nip on the tail before scrambling for cover underneath one of the rowing benches. Hiccup edged forward towards the hulking figure of Dug's Breath, swallowing hard, trying to remember what the Hero's Handbook had said about fighting an opponent much bigger than yourself. Something about ducking, about letting the enemy exhaust himself, using his own body weight against him. Don't let him catch you, advised Toothless, appearing for a moment from from underneath the bench and then diving back into his hiding place as Sea Slug lunged at him with a crunch and crash of razor-sharp teeth. Hiccup stepped forward lightly and calmly, looking Dogbreath straight in the mean, puggy little eyes. Dogbreath grinned nastily at him and aimed a huge, flailing swipe at his head. Hiccup ducked.
Yay, Hiccup!
Cheered That's the way to do it! Dog's Breath looked rather surprised. He swiped again at Hiccup, even more violently, and again Hiccup ducked. This time he was so quick about it that Dog's Breath staggered and nearly lost his footing.
Hiccup! Hiccup! Hiccup!
yelled most of the boys. Hiccup was popular with the other boys at the time. time because a month before he had single-handedly killed a sea dragon that threatened the whole tribe. Side note, see How to Train Your Dragon, the first volume, of Hiccup's memories. Hiccup felt a little bubble of happiness somewhere inside of him. This was great! Now Dog's Breath was getting cross. He snorted furiously and lunged forward straight at Hiccup's heart. Hiccup dodged nimbly out of the way and slipped on a slimy piece of deck, and Dogsworth reached out with one meaty fist and grabbed Hiccup by the back of the shirt and caught him. This was not so great. Okay, Hiccup thought, so he's caught me.
What do I do now?
Then Toothless burst out from underneath the benches and hovered in his For a second or two, 3 inches from Hiccup's nose, shrieking, S-s-s-submit!
S-s-s-submit! S-s-s-submit!
at the top of his voice before zooming back to safety. I can't submit! said Hiccup indignantly. I'm supposed to be the pirate hero! Pirates don't submit! Oh, goody! said Dogsbreath happily before whacking Hiccup briskly on the helmet a few times with his sword. Hiccup tried to stop him, but each time he was too slow to protect himself. This is just embarrassing, thought Hiccup as Dog's Breath's sword clanged off his helmet for the 3rd time. Time to try a few moves. He had a go at the Destroyer's Defense. He could see in his mind's eye— elegant, stylish— but when his brain tried to tell his arm what to do, his arm responded in this clumsy, fumbling way. And Dog's Breath grabbed a hold of the fancy Swiftpoint Scar Maker and threw it over the side into the ocean. There was hoots and there were hoots and jeers from the watching Vikings. Fishleg and Toothless winced.
Toothless can't look, moaned Toothless with his wings over his eyes. So submit, you stupid human!
What are you gonna do, hiccup? sneered Snotlout. Fight him with your bare hands! Or submit!
No way!
said Hiccup stubbornly. Dog's Breath moved in for the kill with a few breath-quenching jabs to the stomach.
Oh, for Thor's sake, Hiccup!
yelled Gobba in exasperation.
You're fighting like an infant!
You're not gonna get anywhere by lying on the floor groaning!
Bite his ankle or something! He's useless!
Scrood snotlout gleefully.
Hiccup useless! Didn't I tell ya? All the dragon killing last month was just a fluke! Useless! Useless! Useless!
Boys are very fickle. Hiccup's popularity vanished on the spot. They started chanting, Useless!
Useless! Useless!
The dragons joined in eagerly. Scratch his eyes out! Tear his wings off!
So, so, amen!
With a snort of satisfaction, Dogbreath threw away his own sword and got down to the business he really enjoyed: hand-to-hand combat. Dogbreath was an artist in his own straight way. He really liked to get the feel of his victim's flesh in his bare hands, like a sculptor with his clay. Dog's Breath began by sitting on Hiccup, to the huge cheers of the rest of the boys. He followed this by scrunching Hiccup's face into the deck and twisting his ear at the same time.
Oh, suffering scallops!
said Fishlegs, shutting his eyes.
I can't watch! You can still do it, Hiccup!
he shouted.
Use his body weight against him!
And just how, Hiccup inquired out of one corner of his smashed mouth, am I supposed to do that?
Just with him sitting on top of me?
While everyone was concentrating on watching this massacre, Snotlout sneakily picked up Dogbreath's sword and removed the wooden case. Submit! Submit! Submit! yelled Dogbreath gleefully.
No!
said Hiccup. Maybe Icky Hiccup is gonna start crying!
Useless! Useless! Useless!
chanted the boys. Toothless emerged from beneath Warthog's bench. He looked left and right for any sign of Sea Slub. And there, only inches away, was Dog's Breath's gigantic, It was too tempting. Toothless unlocked his jaws as wide as they could go. As his name suggests, Toothless was entirely fang-free, but his hard little, little gums could slice through the shell of an oyster and crush the claws of a crab. He, he leapt forward and bit into that wobbling rear end as hard as he could.
Ooh!
Howled Dog's Breath, letting go of Hiccup, who scrambled out of the way as quickly as possible. Now Dog's Breath was really, really mad. He grabbed hold of his sword, not realizing or caring that it no longer had a wooden case on it, and lunged wildly at Hiccup. Hiccup leapt out of the way, but the sharp point of the blade pierced the shirt And tore a neat slice out of it. Uh-oh, said Hiccup, suddenly realizing he was in big trouble.
Dogbreath, your sword has lost its—
But Dogbreath wasn't listening. He gave a roar of maddening fury and made a great slashing swipe at Hiccup's head. Hiccup ducked, and the wickedly sharp blade buried itself in the mast of the boat, slicing off the top of one of the horns of Hiccup's helmet in the process.
Stop!
cried Hiccup from behind the mast as Dogbreath tugged furiously at his sword to pull it free.
Your sword has lost its case! You're gonna kill me!
Dogbreath was so angry he could not hear a thing. He gave a great heave with his mighty muscles and the sword jerked free so suddenly So suddenly that the poor brute sat down heavily on his bottom, just on the tender spot that Toothless had taken a big chunk out of.
Yooooo!
yelled Dog's Breath.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
yelled the boys. Dog's Breath staggered to his feet, as mad as a harpooned whale. He threw himself at Hiccup with a great bellow of fury. Although Hiccup managed to avoid him again, this time he slipped over in the process. Dugsworth pinned him down with one giant hand, and he lifted the sword above his head with the other.
Don't do it!
Hiccup shouted desperately, but Dugsworth's eyes were full of the joys of battle, and he began to swing the blade down towards Hiccup's chest. And that would have been the end of Hiccup if it hadn't been for the extraordinary lucky coincidence that at the very moment the ship lurched queasily upward on the next giant wave, rolled for a second on the brim, and plunged hysterically downwards straight onto a large floating object. that instantly hauled the boat.
Abandon ship!
shrieked Firewyrm, and 13 dragons rose into the air like giant bats. Dragons are only loyal to their masters up to a certain point. The ship split in 2 on the spot, spilling the Vikings out into the sea. It then sank with a sigh of relief to the bottom of the ocean bed. One minute Hiccup was in the not-so-loving embrace of Dugsworth the Dubrain, the next he was doing the doggy paddle in water so breath-quenchingly, spine-numbingly, heart-stoppingly cold that it was difficult to think of questions like, what in wooden's name do we do now? Something landed on Something landed with a bump on the top of Hiccup's helmet. Toothless eyes peered into his upside down.
No, no, no, nice fighting, master, he said. No, no, no, now where, where's my lunch?
You may have noticed, said Hiccup, swallowing a chunk of seawater as the weight of Toothless pushed him Under the surface, but I'm having a bit of a crisis here. Now flap off, will you, and see what's happening with Fishlegs.
He can't swim.
Hiccup could swim, but the waves were mountainously rough. He really had to struggle to keep afloat. Toothless returned a moment or so later, looking anxious.
Fishlegs definitely needs your help. Master, big trouble! Follow me!
And he disappeared again. Hiccup was just thinking, well, I don't know what in Valhalla he thinks I can do about it. And then a miracle occurred.
