Isaac Reads "How To Be a Pirate": Chapter 7 Part 2

Through the ferns came and perched on Hiccup's shoulder. He had the giggles. Eventually, he got his breath back.

He choked out, "Pooped in his helmet!" Toothless scolded Hiccup.

That's revolting and unkind. Why did you poo in poor Alvin's helmet?

He's a madman.

Who, Alvin the poor but honest farmer? asked Hiccup in surprise. Don't be so prejudiced, Toothless. Just because he's not from around these parts doesn't make him a bad man. Suit yourself, shrugged Toothless, checking out his wings for dragon fleas.

Toothless thinks he's an outcast.

Hiccup started nervously. Outcasts were Vikings who were so vicious, so terrible, so sneaking and burglarous that they had been cast out of regular Viking society and had formed an extraordinary, ferocious tribe of their own. It was even rumored that some outcasts ate their enemies. Oh, come on! He doesn't look anything like an outcast.

You ever seen one?

asked Toothless. Well, no, admitted Hiccup. But neither have you. And you haven't a shred of evidence. Let's go and get some lunch and forget this rubbish. That conversation sowed a little seed of doubt in Hiccup's mind. He was already feeling uneasy because he knew that he and the— all the other boys were going to have to join in on the suicidal quest to the Isles of the Scullions, which would set out just as soon as Stoick and Alvin had worked a plan out to avoid the tiny problem of everyone getting eaten alive the moment they landed on the island. And he knew That he, Hiccup, as the heir to the Hairy Hooligans, was supposed to be the one to find the treasure. So when he wasn't doing his sword fighting or being shouted at by Gobber on the training program, he was bustling Toothless out the door to practice sniffing for treasure. The first morning was typical. Fishlegs turned up with his dragon Horikow And they stood watching in polite astonishment as Hiccup went through the elaborate game of getting Toothless out of the front door. Firstly, Hiccup went through the house shouting Toothless's name. No answer. Next, Hiccup stole a mackerel from the pantry. Ooh, hey Toothless! He sang craftily, waving the fish stench around a bit to get Toothless's I've got a lovely piece of mackerel for you. A muffled but thoughtful voice replied, Toothless sick.

Toothless can't come out because he's very, very sick.

Then you don't want this mackerel then? Then you don't want this mackerel then?

M-m-mackerel? Good for the sick. Have mackerel but no go out.

Hiccup had worked out where the voice was coming from. He peered up the chimney and there was Toothless, hanging upside down in a cloud of smoke. No, Toothless! said Hiccup in his firmest voice. You have the mackerel, you have to go out. That's the deal. And you have to promise. Okay then, said Toothless, flapping out of the chimney.

T-Toothless p-promise!

Hiccup held out the mackerel. With a shriek of T-T-Toothless crossed his claws! Toothless grabbed the fish, pushed Hiccup heavily in the chest, and disappeared at high speed into the other room, leaving Hiccup to topple over into the fireplace in a cloud of ash. It didn't take long for Hiccup to find him again. A telltale drift of bluey-gray smoke was curling out from the end of Stoick's bed. Hiccup tiptoed up and dragged him out from under the covers. With a squawk of outrage, Toothless grabbed a hold— grabbed hold of one of the bed's knobs with his powerful jaws. Hiccup got him by the tail and pulled. Come on, Toothless, Hiccup said. Time for sniffing practice. He tickled Toothless under the— where he tickled Toothless under one wing. Toothless wiggled a bit, got red in the face. Hiccup tickled him under the other. Toothless, letting go, giggled, and there was a short kerfuffle in which Toothless bit Hiccup several times. Before Hiccup finally got him under control, tucking him under one arm and holding his mouth shut with the other. Now, said Hiccup, you know we have to practice the sniffing. You want us to find the treasure, don't you? Not fireworm or seizing. You want us to show everybody what amazing sniffers Toothless's daydreams really are, don't you? Toothless nodded, still holding— still with Hiccup holding his mouth shut. Well then, said Hiccup, we have to practice. Promise you won't bite me anymore, and no claw crossing. As soon as Hiccup had removed his fingers, Toothless went all limp and floppy.

Toothless so weak, can't sniff when he's up. When he's up, he Weak, he moaned pathetically.

Right, said Hiccup. You can have the other half of the mackerel if you behave from now on. Okay then, grumbled Toothless, shaking his wings.

Toothless daydreams. Such a good sniffer. He don't I have to practice, but okay.

Hiccup and Fishlegs scraped the disgusting mess off of the rest of the mackerel from the bottom of Stoick's bed. Stoick was not going to be pleased. And fed it to Toothless, as well as a small haddock pie and 3 or 4 oysters. He won't be able to fly at this rate, said Fishlegs.

He won't be able to fly at This right, said Fishlegs.

They set off into the hills and bog and bogs of burk. They set off into the hills and bogs of burk, Toothless whining the whole way.

Carry me! Carry me! My my my wings ache. Are we nearly there?

Burke was always a wild-looking place, treeless and boggy, heather-blown and fern-filled. And of course, it was practically always raining, anything from a light persistent drizzle to a drenching downpour. There are 28 words that mean rain in the hooligan language. But if you like your landscapes bleak and dramatic, Berk was attractive in its own way. And this was now spoilt by the great muddy holes the hooligans were digging everywhere ever since they had become obsessed with hunting for treasure. What with avoiding the holes and wading through waist-high gorse and bracken, it took the boys an hour or so To get up into the hills to practice. And by the— and by the time they got there, Horakal had fallen into such a deep sleep on Fishlegs' shoulders it was impossible to wake her. Hiccup brought out an old gold bracelet of his mother's for Toothless to sniff. That's the smell you're looking for, he said. No problem, said Toothless.

Easy peasy!

2 hot and breathless hours of running around after Toothless and digging where he said he could sniff something. The boys surveyed what they found. 1 tuna. 3 rabbits. Couldn't catch them. 1 small broken spoon. Um. That's it, really? Hiccup shook his head mournfully. It's not good, is it? Not good? Not good! exclaimed a jeering voice behind them. It's pathetic! That's what it is! Hiccup turned around, and there was Snotlout, laughing so hard Dog's Breath had to hold him upright. I mean, a vegetable and a piece of cutlery. Snotlout wiped his tears from his eyes. It's just so brilliantly useless. Do you really think, tittered Snotlout once he had recovered somewhat, that microscopic Ambrodia— Snotlout pointed at Toothless— is going to lead you to treasure? He couldn't even sniff his way out of his own bottom. Toothless bristled angrily. But then, but then he's just a mongrel, common or garden, scoffed Snotlout.

Toothless not repeat a common or garden dragon, howled Toothless. Toothless very rare breed.

Now FireWorm here— amoeba! Snotlout pointed at Toothless. Is a monstrous nightmare. One of your pure hunting greenbloods. Look what a real hunting dragon can find if she puts her nose to it. Snotlout reached into a bag slung around his waist and drew out a large silver plate. A dagger with ancient runes winding around the handle and a couple of pretty bead necklaces. And that's only an afternoon's work! FireWorm purred with pleasure. She shrugged her beautiful, shining, blood-red shoulders. To the nose of an aristocrat like myself! she hissed. The thing was reeking like a week-old haddock. Naturally, said Toothless.

If you have a nose the size of an elephant's heel, it makes life easy for you.

Fireworm's nostrils flared furiously. I have a beautifully proportioned nose. Now, now, fireworm! Now, now, fireworm! Now, now, fireworm! Chilled Snotlout, who didn't understand Dragonese but knew they were trading insults. Don't let this peasant upset you. Just think of when we get to the Island of Scullions and you sniff out the treasure, and everyone will know that I am the true heir to the Hairy Hooligans! Nice thought, isn't it, useless? Snotlout leaned forward and with the edge of the plate he was holding pushed Hiccup very gently backwards until he overbalanced into the mud. Ho ho ho ho ho ho! Snorted Snotlout. The and dog's breath, and they sauntered off. It was very depressing. All in all, ever since Alvin arrived, Hiccup had been walking around with a sick feeling in his stomach and a prickle of fear crawling spiderly-ish down the back of his neck. It wasn't just the thought of the quest to the Isles— to the Isle of the Scullions, although he was already having numerous nightmares about being ripped to pieces by panther-like creatures with teeth like broken glass. It was this feeling that there was something evil, something poisonous lurking on the island, Isle of Berk, and that something really terrible was gonna happen sometime soon.