This content was created by Lois Letchford. This content was uploaded by Lois Letchford. This is a YouTube storybook reading titled "Junie B. Jones and a Little Monkey Business by Barbara Park: Chapter 1 | Storybook For Kids" (uploaded/edited 2023-11-16). The excerpt is a narrated children’s book chapter in English featuring dialogue among characters: Junie B. (the child narrator), Mother, and Daddy (rendered as multiple speakers). In this chapter Junie B. reacts humorously to her parents' announcement that they are expecting a baby—she confuses a "surprise" with a wrapped present, objects to the formal name Beatrice, complains about stewed tomatoes, and worries that babies "smell like pee." The recording is a performance/reading of the book rather than a spontaneous conversation.
Chapters
Junie B and the Lintel Monkey Business.
Chapter 1.
My name is Junie B. The B stands for Beatrice, except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B, and that's all. B stands for something else too. B stands for B-A-B-Y, baby. I'm only in kindergarten, but I already know how to spell baby. B-A-B-Y. It's because my mother told me that she is going to have one of those things. She and Daddy told me about it at dinner one time. It was the night we had stewed tomatoes, which I hate very much.
Daddy and I have a surprise for you, Juno-Bee, said Mother.
And so then I got very happy inside because maybe I didn't have to eat my stewy-pewy tomatoes. And also, Sometimes a surprise means a present, and presents are my very favourite thing in the whole world! I bounced up and down on my chair. What is it? Is it all wrapped up?
I don't see it!
I said, very excited. Then I looked under the table because maybe the surprise was hiding down there with a red ribbon on top of, on top of it. Mother and Daddy smiled at each other. Then Mother held my hand.
Junie B, how would you like to have a little baby brother or sister?
she said. I made my shoulders go up and down. I dunno. Maybe, I told her. Then I looked under my chair. Guess what? I said. I can't find that silly willy present anywhere. Mother made me sit up. Then she and my Daddy said some more stuff about a baby. The baby will be—
the baby will be yours too, Junie B, Daddy said. Think, just think. You'll have your very own little brother or sister to play with. Won't that be fun?
I did my shoulders up and down again. I don't know. Maybe, I said. Then I got down from my chair and ran into the living room.
Bad news, fellas!
I hollered very loud. The present isn't in this dumb bunny room either! Mother and Daddy came into the living room. They didn't look that smiley anymore. Daddy took a deep breath.
There is no present, Junie B, he said. We never said we had a present. We said we had a surprise. Remember?
Then Mother sat down next to me.
The surprise is that I'm going to have a baby, Junie B. In a few months you're gonna have a little baby brother or sister. Do you get what I'm saying yet?
Just then I folded my arms and made a grumpy face. 'Cause all of a sudden I got it. That's why. You didn't get me a darn thing, did you? I said very growly. Mother looked angry at me. I give up, she said. Then she went back into the kitchen. Daddy said I owed her an apology. Apology is where you have to say the words I'm sorry. Yes, but she owes me an apology too, I said. Because I'm a— because a baby isn't a very good surprise. I made a wrinkling nose. Babies smell like pee.
Pee-yew!
I explained. I smelled one at my friend Grace's house. It had some spit-up on its front, and so I held my nose and hollered, Pee-yew! What a stink bomb! And then that Grace made me go home. After I finished my story, Daddy went into the kitchen to talk to Mother. Then Mother called me in there, and she said, If the baby smells like a stink bomb, she will buy me my own, very own air freshener, and I can spray the can all by myself. Except not on the PU baby. I would like the one that smells as fresh as a Carolina pine forest, I said. Then me and Mother hugged, and I sat back down at the table and finished eating my dinner. Except not my stewy, pewy tomatoes. And so guess what? No dessert, that's what.
