Junie B. Jones learns her parents are turning the guest room into a nursery for a new baby. She's jealous about all the new jungle-themed furniture and giraffe lamp the baby will get, while she's stuck with old junk. She proposes ridiculous names like Mrs. Gutsman and declares she'll be the boss of the baby.
Chapters
Chapter 2, The Dumb Baby's Room. Mummy and Daddy fixed up a room for the new baby. It's called a nursery, except I don't know why, because a baby isn't a nurse, of course. The baby's room used to be the guest room. That's where all our guests used to sleep, only we never had much guests. So now if we get some, they'll have to be— they'll have to sleep on a table or something. The baby's room has new stuff in it. That's because Mother and Daddy went shopping at the new baby stuff store. They bought a new baby dresser with green and yellow knobs on it, and a new baby lamp with a giraffe on the lampshade, and also a new rocking chair for when the baby cries and you can't shut it up. And there's a new baby crib too. A crib is a bed with bars on the side of it. It's kind of like a cage at a zoo. Except with a crib. You can put your hands through the bars and the baby won't pull you in and kill you. And guess what else is in the nursery?
Wallpaper!
That's what! The jungle kind! With pictures of elephants and lions and a big fat hippopot of something.
And that's—
and there's monkeys too!
Which are my most favoritest jungle guys in the whole world!
Mother and Daddy pasted On the wallpaper together. Me and my bug Tickle were watching them. This wallpaper looks very cute in here, I told them. I would like some of it in my room too, I think.
Okay?
I said. Can I? Can I? We'll see, said Daddy. We'll see is another word for no. Yeah, only that's not fair, I said. Cos the baby gets all new junk and I have all old junk. Poor Ginny Bee, said Mother very teasingly. Then she bended down and tried to hug me, only she couldn't do it very good because of her big fat stomach, which is where the stupid baby is. I don't think I'm gonna like this dumb baby, I said. Mother stopped hugging me. Don't say that, Junie B.
Of course you will, she said.
Of course I won't, I talked back, because, because it won't even let me hug you very good. And anyway, I don't even know its stupid dumb name. Then Mother sat down in the new rocking chair and she tried to put me on her lap, only I wouldn't fit, so she just held my hand.
That's because Daddy and I haven't picked a name for the baby yet, she explained. We want a name that's a little bit different. You know, something cute like G.B. Jones. A name that people will remember.
And so I thought and thought very hard, and then I clapped my hands together real loud. Hey, I know one! I said very excitedly. It's the cafeteria lady at my school, and her name is Mrs. Gutsman! Mother frowned a little bit, and so maybe she didn't hear me, I think. Mrs. Gutsman! I hollered. That's a cute name, don't you think? And I remembered it, too, even after I only heard it one time. Mrs. Gutsman stuck right in my head. Mother took a deep breath.
Yes, honey. But I'm not sure that Mrs. Gutsman is a good name for a tiny baby.
And so I scrunched my face up and I thought and thought all over again. How about Teeny? I said. Teeny would be a good— Mother smiled.
Well, Teeny might be cute for Well, the baby was little, but what would we call him when he grows up? Big Teeny!
I called out very happily. Then Mother said, We'll see. Which means no Big Teeny. After that, I didn't feel so happy anymore. When's this dumb bunny baby getting here anyway? I asked. Mother frowned again.
The baby is not a dumb bunny, Juney B, she said. And it'll be here very soon, so I think you'd better start getting used to the idea.
Then her and Daddy began pasting wallpaper again. So I opened the new baby dresser with the green and yellow knobs and I looked at the new baby clothes. The baby pyjamas were very weensy and the baby socks wouldn't even fit on my big piggy toe. I'm going to be the boss of this baby, I said to Tickle, 'cause I'm the biggest, that's why. Daddy snapped his fingers at me. That's enough of that kind of talk, missy! He said, Missy's my name when I'm in trouble. After that, him and Mother went to the kitchen to get some more paste, and so I looked down the hall to make sure they were gone. Yeah, only I'm still gonna be the boss of it, I whispered.
