Lois Letchford Reads "Diary of the Killer Cat" Part 5 |Remastered

26 Apr 2022 · 4 min

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In Chapter 5 of Diary of the Killer Cat, the cat narrator recounts a late‑night episode that unfolds after midnight. Ellie’s father, dressed in black, sneaks downstairs to retrieve a rescued rabbit named Thumper, carrying him in a plastic bag wrapped in a towel. He crawls across the lawn, squeezes through a hole in the hedge, and places Thumper in a straw‑lined hutch, making the scene look like the rabbit is peacefully sleeping. The narrator’s feline friends—Snowball, Tiger, and Puskins—observe the covert operation and report back, commenting humorously on the father’s poor night vision and the oversized hedge hole. Meanwhile, the narrator tries to slip out of the house but is stopped by Ellie’s mother, who warns him to stay inside because the cats have already caused enough trouble that week. The cats yowl about being “grounded” for “murder” of the rabbit, turning the situation into a comedic misunderstanding. The chapter ends with Ellie’s father discovering the cats’ presence, shouting, “how did you get out, you crafty beast?” and hinting at sealing the cat door.

Chapters

Diary of the Killer Cat. Chapter 5. Friday. I call it Friday because they waited so late. The clock was already well past midnight by the time Ellie's father finally heaved himself out of his comfy chair in front of the television and went upstairs. When he came down again, he was dressed in black. Black from head to foot. You look like a cat burglar, said Ellie's mother. I wish someone would burgle our cat, he muttered. I just ignored him. I thought that was best. Together they went to the back door. Don't switch the outside light on, he warned her. You never know who might be watching. I tried to sneak out at the same time, but Ellie's mother held me back with her foot. You can just stay inside tonight, she told me. We've had enough trouble from you this week. Fair's fair. And anyway, I heard all about it later from Snowball and Tiger and Puskins. They all reported back. They're good mates. They all saw Ellie's father creeping across the lawn with his plastic bag full of Thumper, wrapped nicely in a towel to keep him clean. They all saw him forcing his way through the hole in the hedge and crawling across next door's lawn on his tummy. Couldn't think what he was doing. Run the hole in the hedge! He's made it so big the Thompson's Rottweiler could get through it now! That Ellie's father must have the most dreadful night vision, said Tiger. He took forever to find the hutch in the dark and pry the door open. And stuff in poor old Thumper, and set him out neatly on his bed of straw, all curled up, with the straw padded up around him, so it looked as if he were sleeping. It was very, very lifelike, said Snowball. It could have fooled me. If anyone just happened to be passing in the dark, they'd really have I thought that poor old Thumper had just died happily and peacefully in his sleep after a good life from old age. They all began howling with laughter. Shh! I said. Keep it down, guys! They'll hear! I'm not supposed to be out tonight. I'm grounded! They stared at me. Get out of here! Grounded? For what? Murder! I said. For cold-blooded bunnyside! That set us all off again. We yowled and yowled. The last I heard before we took off in a gang up Beechcroft Drive was one of the bedroom windows Being flung open and Ellie's father yelling, how did you get out, you crafty beast? So what's he going to do? Nail shut the cat door?