In this YouTube reading, Lois Letchford narrates chapter 8 of Anne Fiennes' children’s book The Killer Cat's Christmas. The cat narrator recounts a chaotic holiday scene where the kittens choose a nursery rhyme (“Pussycat, Pussycat”) that makes the narrator uncomfortable, leading to a defensive monologue about being blamed for chasing half‑dead mice. The cat laments being misunderstood, describes his tail flicking like a brush that knocks off labels, and reacts to the others’ plan to use mittens and toys for a performance. He humorously recalls scoring points by knocking glittery balls off the Christmas tree, emphasizing his mischievous nature and the playful, self‑justifying tone of the story.
Chapters
Hello, I'm Lois Letchford, author of the book Reversed and Where Am I? Reading from Anne Fiennes' The Killer Cat's Christmas, chapter 8, Chasing Half-Dead Mousies. Now it was Lucilla's turn to be the star of the show. Which nursery rhyme will you choose? they asked her. Lucilla hugged herself with glee. I'm going to sing Pussycat, pussycat, where have you been? I've been up to London to visit the Queen. Then I can wear the lovely, lovely crown in the dressing-up box. These 3 can get excited about anything. The jewels on that lovely, lovely crown are stuck-on wine gums. I know that for sure because I've licked them. Ellie wasn't happy with Lucilla's choice. Oh, please don't let's do that one. I always cry when it gets to the bit that says, pussycat, pussycat, what did you do there? I frightened a little mouse under her chair. Why? Lancelot said. There was silence. They all looked at me as if I was a criminal. As if I spent my whole life Chasing half-dead mousies around the house. I was offended, if you want to know. They wouldn't open the door, so I just went and sat under the Christmas tree next to the presents. Okay, okay, so I was sulking, but how is it my fault? That my tail was flicking from side to side? I am a cat, and that's what happens to our tails when we get cross. My tail's a part of me. From my point of view, it's just the end of my bottom, and you don't spend all day looking to see exactly what's going on at the end of your bottom, do you? Well, neither do I. So how was I supposed to notice that it was acting like a little furry brush and flicking all of those silly little labels off and out of sight under the carpet? It took them ages to finally, finally, they managed to choose another rhyme for their 3 little mittens, they lost their mittens, decided Lucilla. Yes, perfect, Delly said. We can use Tuffy and 2 soft cat toys. Use Tuffy? Excuse me, what am I now, a kitchen towel or something? Nobody uses me. Now Lancelot was pitching in. And we'll need 12 little mittens. I looked up. Mittens? On my paws? Oh no, no, no, no, no, not even if they made me star of the show! But they were already rushing off to look for what they needed. While they were gone, I had a little laugh, reaching up to bat a few of those glittery balls off the tree. Just last year, I gave myself 5 points if they fell down among the presents. And a bonus 5 if they rolled onto the carpet. I got 120 points in all. Excellent score, even better than last year. But that's practicing for you. You know what they say, practice makes perfect.
