Lois Reads: Diary of the Killer Cat Chapter 6

19 Dec 2020 · 2 min

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1:57

In this YouTube reading, Lois narrates Chapter 6 of the children’s book Diary of the Killer Cat. The chapter is presented from the cat’s point of view as it watches its human owner abruptly nail the cat door shut early on a Friday morning. The narrator describes the frantic hammering, the human’s dismissive remarks (“That’ll fix you,” “Feel free to go out…”), and the one‑way nature of the now‑blocked door. The cat is left to stare, confused by the human’s harsh language (“Woe betide you!”) and the absurdity of being forced to stay on the doormat until someone lets it back in. The passage blends humor, exaggerated cat‑centric frustration, and a satirical look at the power imbalance between pet and owner.

Chapters

Diary of the Killer Cat, Chapter 6. Still Friday. He nailed shut the cat door. Would you believe this man? He comes down the stairs this morning, and before he's even out of his pyjamas, he's set to work With hammer and nail. Bang, bang, bang, bang. I'm giving him the stare. I really am. But then he turns around and speaks to me directly. There, he said. That'll fix you. Now it swings this way, and he gives the cat door a hefty shove with his foot, but it doesn't swing this way. And sure enough, when the door tried to flap back in, it couldn't. It hit the nail. So, he said to me, you can go out. Feel free to go out. Feel free, in fact, not only to go out, but also to stay out. Get lost or disappear forever. But should you bother to come back again, don't go to the trouble of bringing anything with you, because this is now a one-way door. And so you will have to sit on the doormat until one of the family lets you in. He narrows his eyes all at me, all nasty-like. And woe betide you, Tuffy, if there's anything dead lying on the doormat beside you! Woe betide you? What a stupid expression! What on earth does he mean anyway? Woe betide you! Woe betide him!