Lois Reads - Return of the Killer Cat Chapter 3

23 Dec 2020 · 4 min

Watch on YouTube

3:31

In this narrated excerpt from Chapter 3, titled “Mistake,” the story follows a chaotic night of a talent contest held under the vicar’s bedroom window, featuring performances by Bella, Tiger, Pushkins, and the narrator’s comedic imitation of Ellie. The narrator threatens the participants with a grim promise of “guts for garters.” After the contest, the group disperses, and the narrator wanders home, hearing the vicar’s voice calling “Toffee!” The narrator encounters Melanie, who asks Reverend Barnum whether prayer works, specifically pleading for a soft, furry pet like Tuffy. The vicar’s skeptical response leads to a frantic chase: the narrator tries to escape by leaping onto a lawnmower handle, then onto a pear tree, only to find two impossible exit routes—jumping through a locked bathroom window or descending the mower‑spun grass—leaving the narrator trapped in a comedic dilemma.

Chapters

The Return of the Killer Cat. Chapter 3, Mistake. Okay, okay, so it was a bit mean to hold that night's talent contest right under the vicar's bedroom window. Bella sang beautiful, Dreamer! Tiger sang, rolling along to New Orleans. Pushkins did his yodeling song, and I did my brilliant imitation of Ellie when the car door slammed on her finger. Still, no need for the vicar to get his knickers in such a twist. If I catch a single one of you, I'll have your guts for garters! I didn't come home early, but everyone needs their sleep. So in the end, the gang and I split up and I strolled back. It was a beautiful morning. The only thing spoiling it Was his voice. I could hear him 3 streets away. Toffee! Toffee! I crept along in the shadow of next door's hedge. Melanie was leaning over it. Please, Reverend Barnum, she interrupted him, does praying work? He stared at her as if she'd asked him something like, do trains eat custard? Melanie tried again. You're always saying, let us pray. Well, does it work? Work? Yes. Do people really get what they pray for? If I prayed really, really, really hard for something, would I get it? What sort of thing? Reverend Barnum asked suspiciously. Melanie clasped her hands together. A pet to cuddle. A pet all of my own to cuddle. A pet who is soft and furry and warm, just like Tuffy behind the hedge here. Well, thank you, Melanie! I took off fast and he He was chasing me. That's why, instead of going up the apple tree as usual, I took that flying leap on the handle of the lawnmower and up in the pear tree. But when you get to the top of that, you find you have only 2 choices. You can jump from the top branch through a Closed and locked bathroom window. Uh-oh. My best escape route rumbled. Or you can go back down, then jump from the lowest branch back on the mower handle and down on the grass again, which, since my flying leap upward had sent the mower spinning, turned out to be impossible as well.