In this YouTube segment, Lois Letchford narrates Chapter 4, “Ghosts in the Closet,” from Anne Fine’s children’s novel The Killer Cat’s Birthday Bash. The chapter follows the mischievous cat Tuffy as he haunts Ellie’s bedroom, convincing her that a closet contains a ghost. Through repeated cat‑like hisses, arched backs, and exaggerated “terrified‑cat” gestures, Tuffy scares Ellie, her parents, and even the cat’s own imagined companions (Mr Grumpy Wumpy and Mrs A Whole Lot Nicer). Ellie’s attempts to investigate the closet—opening both sides, shaking clothes, and ultimately finding nothing—only heighten the comedic tension. The narration alternates between Lois’s voice and a secondary speaker (Speaker B) who voices Ellie’s dialogue, creating a lively, theatrical reading. The segment blends humor, suspense, and a playful critique of fear, ending with a tongue‑in‑cheek moral about neglecting a cat’s birthday party.
Chapters
Hello, I'm Lois Letchford, author of the book Reversed: A Memoir and literacy problem solver, and reading from Anne Fine's The Killer Cats Birthday Bash. Chapter 4: Ghosts in the Closet. On the way home, I hatched a little plan to pay my family back. More fond of ghoulies and ghosties than of their own pussycat, Well, I'll show them! I sidled through the back door, then up the stairs and into Ellie's bedroom. Little Miss Goody Two-Shoes was sitting up in bed reading a book. I jumped up beside her and snuggled.
Oh, Tuffy, she said, you are so nice and sweet and cuddly.
I kept my temper. It nearly choked me. But I managed to cough out a purr.
Oh, Tuffy, she said again. I love it when you're all contented and cozy and fall asleep in my arms.
I kept my eyes closed and counted to 10. Then, just as she lifted her arm to turn the page, I sprang to my feet and stared at The closet. Ellie raised her eyes from the book. What is it, Tuffy? I arched my back and kept up the mad stare. Come on, Tuffy, Ellie soothed. It's just the closet. The only things inside it are clothes and shoes. I gave her a quick don't-you-believe-it blink and made my hair shoot up on end. Now she was getting nervous. Tuffy? She slid out of bed and went towards the closet.
Yowwwww!
It was the clearest message not to go a single step closer. You didn't have to be a cat to understand. Whatever you do, don't open that closet door! Terrified, Ellie fled downstairs. I took a break. Then, when she came up again a few minutes later, holding her parents' hands, I sprang back into terrified-cat-staring-at-the-ghost-in-the-closet mode. You could tell from the look on Ellie's father's face that she had dragged the two of them away from something rather good on telly. He gave her the most perfunctory glance around the room, then glowered at me. I kept up the arched back and the stiffened fur and stared at the closet. Ellie's mother slid the closet door open. She pushed the clothes hanging from the rail to one side and peered in. Nothing strange in here. Check the other side, begged Ellie. She was really scared. Ellie's mother checked the other side.
Nothing!
Check both sides at once! insisted Ellie. She was— so under her orders, Mr Grumpy Wumpy poked his head in one side and Mrs A Whole Lot Nicer poked her head in on the other, and they flapped all the clothes about. Ellie, there's nothing unusual in here. I gathered myself up, did a frantic little I am terrified dance, and spat at the closet.
Ellie burst into tears and shouted angrily, well, Tuffy doesn't seem to think there's nothing in there, and the animals are famous for seeing ghosts!
Because they're stupid, Ellie's father said, still glaring at me. Oh, very friendly. So I spat again, taking good care to make it land on his trousers. Ellie's mother could see that. At this rate, we would be up all night. You'd better come and sleep with me, she said to Ellie, and Dad can go in the spare room. Ha ha! I spend a whole lot of time on that spare bed, but I can curl up. I wouldn't care to sleep in it. If I was long and thin like him. It's just like Lump City, that old bed. He knew it too. On his way out, he gave me a pretty mean look. I put on a snooty air and tried to show him by the way I stalked past that this was what you get for choosing not to hold a party for your own precious pussy. Ghosts in the Closet. And lumps in the bed. That's what you get, and serves you right!
