Poems With Lois Letchford: Excuses, Excuses

18 Jun 2021 · 2 min

Watch on YouTube

1:50

In this YouTube video, author and memoirist Lois Letchford presents a spoken‑word reading of the English poem “Excuses, Excuses,” which appears in the anthology Poems About School compiled by John Foster. The poem is framed as a dialogue between a teacher (the speaker) and a student named Blinkensop (or Blinkenshoff), in which the student offers a series of absurd, humorous excuses for missing school activities—ranging from multiple grandmothers dying on PE days to a dentist visit, missing a maths test, and lacking a PE kit because it was not ironed at home. The performance relies on repetitive questioning, deadpan delivery, and escalating absurdity to satirize typical student‑teacher interactions. The video concludes with a standard YouTube call‑to‑action encouraging viewers to like, subscribe, and share. The content showcases Letchford’s narrative voice, the poem’s comedic structure, and its commentary on the trope of school excuses.

Chapters

Hello, I'm Lois Letchford. I'm author of the book Reversed: A Memoir, and I'm reading from the book Excuses, Excuses: Poems About School compiled by John Foster. And this one is titled Excuses, Excuses, and it's an English poem, so you'll have to excuse some of the English words. Late again, Blinkensop? What's your excuse this time? Not my fault, sir. Whose fault is it then? Grandma's, sir. Grandma? What did she do? She died, sir. Died? She's seriously dead, all right, sir. That makes 4 grandmothers this term, Blinkensop. And all on PE days. I know, it's very upsetting, sir. How many grandmothers have you got, Blinkensop? Grandmother, sir? None, sir. You said you had 4. All dead, sir. And what about yesterday, Blinkenshoff? What about yesterday, sir? You were absent yesterday. Oh, that was the dentist, sir. The dentist died? No, sir. My teeth, sir. You missed the maths test, Blinkenshoff. I've been looking forward to it, sir. Right. Line up for PE. Can't. No such word as can't. No kit, sir. Where is it? Home, sir. What's it doing at home? Not ironed, sir. Couldn't you iron it? Can't, sir. Why not? Bad hands, sir. Who usually does it? Grandma, sir. Why couldn't she do it? Dead, sir. That's one written by Thank you. Hit like, hit subscribe, and share.