In this YouTube reading, Lois Letchford narrates a series of whimsical, Dr. Seuss‑style verses aimed at children. The segment jumps between several short vignettes: a frantic discussion about hair‑styling choices (ponytail, bun, cornrows, bangs, bleach, dye) and the narrator’s own noisy hair; a playful guide to painting with food using cherries, grape juice, blueberries, licorice, gravy, and egg yolk, then signing the artwork in applesauce; a brief moral tale of an old gnome confronting a gnat that nibbles a newborn’s nose; a fantastical story about a character who lost his head in a duel, keeps it on with a long scarf, and offers to remove the scarf; a rapid‑fire list of children who are “hard to please,” each paired with a quirky adjective; a spooky yet humorous warning about the “Toy Eater” who devours toys if they’re left on the floor; and a series of contradictory physical descriptions of an unseen figure, ending with a thank‑you and a typical YouTube call‑to‑action. The overall tone is playful, rhythmic, and absurd, using vivid imagery and repetitive structures to entertain and engage a young audience.
Chapters
We gave you a chance to water the plants. We didn't mean that way. Now zip up your pants. Coils and hiss, writhe and twist my head. Who won't get done? Because one hears hissing ponytail, the other yells simple bun. And one whispers cornrows, one screams bangs. One shouts just wash and dry it, one snaps no, curl it and tie it. One hollers bleach and dye it. And how am I to fix my hair if my hair will not keep quiet? We're out of paint, so let's paint a picture with our food. For red, we'll Squeeze these cherries. For purple, let's splash grape juice on. For blue, we'll use blueberries. For black, just use some licorice. For brown, pour on some gravy. For yellow, you can dip your brush in the egg yolk you just gave me. We'll sign our names in applesauce and tidy little our luncheon and hang it up for everyone to stop and see and munch on. The gnome, the gnat, and the new. I saw an old gnome take a knock at the gnat who was nibbling on the nose of a new. I said, nasty gnome, now stop doing that! That gnat ain't doing nothing to you! He nodded his gnarled old head and said, Oh, now I never knew that knocking a gnat in the noodle like that was not a nice thing to do. Long scarf. You asked me to take off my scarf and sit down and rest for a while. That's sweet of you, but before I do, I'll tell you a story, my child. Some years ago, I fought a duel with the Count of Doom and Dread, and I slipped or tripped, and his sword just clipped my neck and sliced off my head. I scooped it up and put it back, But it didn't quite connect, so I tied this scarf around it just to keep it on my neck. That's why I always keep it on, 'cause if it did unwrap, this wobbly, chopped-off head of mine might tumble in your lap. So now you've heard my tale, and if it will not make you ill and you'd still like me to take off my scarf, I will. Hard to please, to be said in one breath. Elaine gives me a pain, Jiggle makes me ill, Winnie's a ninny, Oren's boring, Millie is silly, Rosie is nosy, Junie is loony, Gussie is fussy, Jackie is wacky, Tommy is barmy, Mary is scary, Tammy is clammy, Abby is crabby, Patty is batty, Maisie is lazy, Tiny is whiny, Missy is pretty, Nikki is picky, Ricky is tricky, and almost everyone makes me sicky! The Toy Eater. You don't have to pick up your toys, okay? You can leave them right here on the floor. So tonight, when the terrible Toy Eater Torkin comes tiptoeing in through the crack in the door, he'll crunch all your shoulders, he'll munch all your trucks, he'll chew your poor puppets to shreds, he'll swallow your Big Wheel and slurp up your paints. And bite off your dear dollies' heads. Then he'll wipe off his lips with the sail of your ship, and making a burpity noise, he'll slither away. But hey, that's okay, you don't have to pick up your toys. Description, George said. God, he's short and fat. Nick said, no, he's tall and lean. Len said, with a long white beard. No, said John, he's shaven clean. Will said, He's black. Bob said he's white. Rhonda Rose said he's a she. I smiled but never showed them all the autographed photograph God sent to me. Thank you. Hit like and subscribe.
