When Learning Is Trauma: Dyslexia Tutor Tricia Cook, Lois Letchford, & Lisa Mccarty

Welcome. This is When Learning Is Trauma. It's nearly 4 o'clock. Yeah, you got a few, but it's okay. I think we can start. Welcome, Lisa. Great to have you back. Tell us about you while we start. Can you tell— what do you do? I've lost you. I've got no sound. Isaac, I've lost Latricia.

Yes, I'm here. I'm here. I'm here.

Sorry, that was my fault.

I was talking to my son that just came home from school. So, so start again, Lois.

Welcome, Lisa. Thank you for joining us again for When Learning Is Trauma. Tell us what you do, Lisa, before we introduce Tricia.

I'm a nurse in an inpatient detox center, and I'm also— I work with a lot of the different dyslexia advocacy groups, and I do this on Monday afternoon with Lois. So that's me in a nutshell.

And Tricia, welcome back. We had you February, March, or April, May, I forget which one. Would you— it was March. Yeah, that's right, it was too. That's where I found you. And Tricia has interests focused on alternative and holistic education such as explicit instruction, neurodiversity, literacy tutoring, learning difference, and positive mindset and learning environments. She presents an alternative perspective as she definitely has a divergent Tricia feels like a wise and revolutionary educator who listens to the child by following their needs. She believes in Maria Montessori's— I'm struggling with speech today.

Okay.

Maria Montessori's observations of trusting the universe along with the child. If we love and trust our children, this becomes their inner thoughts, ideals, feeling, intent, dreams, and purpose. Thank you for joining us again, Tricia, and today we're here talking about shame and anger. But welcome first off.

Thank you for having me.

Tell us about how you came to realize the power of shame and anger.

Okay, so, um, when I was working on my master's as a reading specialist, So ironic, right? Somebody with dyslexia wanting to be a reading specialist. God had his inner purpose for that, and I would have only laughed if you would have told me that. But so I went and I was going through the reading specialist certification, and I noticed that I was actually starting to pick up my fluency and start to comprehend better. So I only could attribute to the amount of This being early, early in our 20th— 2000s, the year 2000. So, that I thought they were just bombarding us with graphic organized. And I, prior to that, I was very interested in using webs, you know, but I just hadn't been exposed to how to use them properly and everything else. And this were so many more, and they're more graphic, more Colorful. So, uh, yeah, it makes sense that that retrained my brain to learn, because I've learned all about, uh, the brain and dyslexia, and knowing that my gift is strong evaluative skills, and that's literally my logic, is using evaluation, and that is looking at color, shape, size, dimension of everything I see and finding patterns. And As well as what people don't think about— chant, rhyme, meter, and pattern also. So anyway, with that being said, with my strong evaluative skills, it retrained my brain to learn, and I could take that whole picture that I've always been good at and then have this tool to detail it and break it down so much to bring it back to the whole, which I already knew. Talking about being whole-part-whole, the mind map is the way to go with that. So I was getting excited, you know, it was always a struggle even up until then, but this empowered me by learning the skill of mind maps. But I was like, why am I still not proud of myself? Why am I still insecure? Why am I still having these problems? You know, I got what I've always wanted. So I was going through a deep dark night of the soul type moment coinciding with this time. And I, and I said, first word that came up to me is abandonment. And you know, this is something a so early 40s person will do is evaluate their life. And so I was like, abandonment? What does that mean? I don't know what that means. My parents are wonderful. So what it— what I boiled down to, I feel like it was Um, also with dyslexia, we care immensely for people, animals, and nature, and that we have a lot of shame. We're very people-pleasing. So I looked up to teachers as role models. I mean, not only just teachers, just people, uh, in authority in general. And they let me down, you know. They, uh, you know, by being so angry with me— they were literally angry with me. Now I realize that I was hurting their ego at this time, but it's not their fault. They didn't know how to teach people with dyslexia in the '80s. They did not know. But what it was, is it was hurting their ego. And so they got— I had teachers yell at me. I was right next to their desk. Kids picked up on this. They were awful to me though. I had one child pull out my chair right when I was about to sit down. Like, they were picking up on that energy of that teacher being so— angry with me and frustrated with me. And I'm not saying it was, it was every teacher because it wasn't. There's a few that stick out to my mind, but even then they weren't, you know, educated back then on how to help people with dyslexia. So anyway, the abandonment came the word strength. I was like, okay, uh, yeah, I've always felt like I could be stronger and sticking up for myself. It didn't make too much sense. And then the word anger came up. Remember what I said, people with dyslexia, we care so much about people, animals, and nature. I never would be an angry person. I'm not angry. I don't get angry. Well, um, I didn't get angry, but I had regressive anger that I would hold inside myself, you know, and that turned to shame. So when it came up to being anger and strength, I was contemplating and thinking about and praying for an answer. What does this mean? What it ends up is I needed more strength to look at this anger that I had suppressed so long inside of me.

Yeah.

So I literally had to go back to those, put myself back into those moments, you know, where it was Where I must have held in the anger in the, in the classroom, and I, and then I, then I, through that anger, then it came to, had time to look at the shame. That was the hardest part. Um, shame, um, includes a lot of shutdown, a lot of introvertedness, a lot of things of, I'm very adventurous, you know, people with dyslexia, we're very adventurous. But then our environment created us to not be so, to where, um, it wasn't easy to look at the shame and then venture out and looking at that. But I'm so much more confident because I have empathy now. That was the third word that came up, was empathy. And it wasn't, of course, leading to empathy towards others. It was leading towards myself.

Yeah. So, yeah.

So a lot of work I had done on this anger and shame, and then it came to much deeper into hatred and grief. Because as an adult, if the anger and shame isn't looked at, it can go into those. And what I found out with, uh, with hatred, you need capacity— wait, yeah, I'm not saying it right— courage. And for, um, hatred, you need compassion. So as I look at the hatred that I've worked out, and then the, um, and then the grief, it— now I'm so much a happier person. I'm so much at peace. People don't trigger that. I don't feel insecure. Like, uh, you know, I'll still do my dyslexic characteristics, um, and like some of the executive functioning things that I have, along with, um, Along with, uh, having slow speed processing, I still have those things come out, but when, when people say, what'd you say again? Or something like that, it doesn't trigger me. It doesn't make me feel bad about myself anymore, because at some point I also realized all of that had to happen in my life to get me where I am today.

Yeah.

If I hadn't had it, I wouldn't be able to help students the way that I need to, which I feel is part of my larger purpose in this whole thing. So am I glad that that all happened, that the teachers were awful to me, that, you know, sibling, he wasn't so nice? So, and then all of the learning struggles itself. Yes, I'm very happy it happened because it helped me to grow. I couldn't have grown otherwise. There's no doubt. But I do feel like anger and shame needs to be addressed. So I would like to talk about what was on my outline, but if you have any questions, let me know.

Well, I wanted to go back. Lisa was talking about her mother having the same, having this, you know, as an adult still feeling the anger and the shame.

Yeah, and even being a successful artist. She was a professional artist, a graphic designer. Designer. And back in those days, she was really breaking into a man's world. You know, a lot of the, a lot of the people in charge were men, and they looked at her like, who's this woman trying to break into this? So to be a strong person to succeed in that atmosphere is amazing. But she still, to this day, she's— I think she'll be 80 in January— has the shame surrounding the fact that she was a poor reader. She also was a middle child, and her sister who was older than her did well in school. And you can imagine the issues with that. So still to this day, being a successful, strong woman, she has, she has shame.

Yeah.

Totally identify with her. My brother is a neurosurgeon. So, but I'm proud of her, what she did in breaking through in a man's type of occupation, and that still didn't justify what she needed to look at the anger and shame. So even at her age, I don't think it would hurt her to try yoga. So I mean, I don't think that would hurt her at all. And you know what, tai chi is a yoga, it's a slow movement meditation. So it's that Contemplation and that thinking about your body and breath gets you in the present moment. And when you're in the present moment, then if she's going to have— she's not going to have thoughts of the past and her learning difference, nor in the future, which she can innovate and create and build an entrepreneur. She's going to get her in that center line of— in that moment. And so if she happens to want to work on it still, I mean, tai chi and qigong— I think I'm saying it right— they get her again in that present moment of body and breath that she needs. And then there's regular meditations. The mountain meditation is one of my favorites of all times, and the sitting 61 points of light meditation. Um, and then, you know, I'm gonna say prayer because I asked God, take this anger from me and please replace it with strength. And he, as you know, in my belief that he can give us that, and he had a lot to do with it. So prayer. So I call it PYAM. P-Y-A-M. Prayer, yoga, affirmations. No, um, so I know you can— she can have you guys tell her, all of her family, To that she's a great person and she's a wonderful mother. But she herself, the affirmations that she needs to come with, maybe needs to come for herself. And what— because her body and her mind, her spirit will tell her what she needs most. Mine was at first, I am smart, I can do this, I am loved. I had that one forever. But then my mind and my body, everything knew I didn't need that one anymore. And it's no fear, only love. But her setting her own affirmations, and y'all can help affirm those to her, that still helps. I don't care how old you are, as long as you're living. And then the last one is, okay, the meditation that I was talking about. So, um, she's got to be willing to look at it though. If you're not willing, then it's not going to work.

And you know, the shame Yeah, I think the trick is to try to— and one of the reasons we do all this is to stop all this before it happens, so that these children don't have to wait until they're 80 to try to figure out how worthy they are.

Yes.

That's a little bit of my anger, my anger coming out there in a respectful type of way.

I think you're right, Lisa, because I think of not my son so much, but my first student who was 13 when he came to me. And he, you know, he's 6 foot at the time, and his shoulders were rounded, he was hunched. He, you know, he was at the time, I think, flat out even looking at me, let alone wanting to attend a lesson. And the thought process was, you know, no one else has been able to do it. Why does she think she can? She doesn't know how bad I am. Or how tough I'm going to be to teach. She doesn't know that. No one's been able to do it, so why will she make a difference?

Yeah, my son mentioned that when we interviewed him, and he used the word hopeless.

Yes.

That's why I think dyslexic teachers like myself are so important, because we can connect with them and understand what it is like for them. And I do tell them I understand Yes. I understand. I've been there. I've done that. Um, so let me tell y'all what I do. So when I got my Orton-Gillingham certification, um, I was your everyday tutor where I was, you know, the parent was watching, you know, they only had 30 minutes to make sure they get their money's worth and everything. I'd keep on tutoring and, you know, literacy was my number one goal. Can they read, write, and speak well?

Yeah.

And then I started to feel a little guilty about that. Like, I don't feel like I was meeting their whole needs. You know, I'm a Montessorian also, so, so why would that matter if I'm in the classroom being a Montessori teacher versus being a tutor? Why can't I stop and meet those needs? So I, I've developed my program, My Elbert, to go along to look at and be sensitive to the trauma that could be occurring or creating or what they're going through already with anger and shame. I have most of my students that are 7 and above that already have on my checklist that I give out anger marked.

Yeah.

Now, if anger's working for them, they'll stay in anger, but if not, you know, or if they're not in a safe place for their anger, they'll go to shame. Shame is much harder to address. It's that shutdown, it's that insensitivity, uh, the wanting to not feel what they're learning, not have feeling or emotion related to their learning, where that's the number one thing is having feeling, and that leads to your motivation for learning. So that insensitivity is shut down. So, um, So I have never had a checklist not marked, and I've done it on 65 kids. So, so I've added that to my program. Another thing I've added is a gifts and strengths checklist.

Yeah.

Just because that can never be lost, that we can't take those strengths to help in the weaker areas. We know where their strength's gonna be. It's gonna be in visual spatial reasoning. And the lower ones are going to be verbal and linguistic. But to have the— I have the learning menu along with it to say, okay, let's take this, let's try to help this area. And the last thing I include that a lot of people don't think about is the characteristics. I have a checklist for it and the frequency of those, meaning that, you know, what's happening is, is we all read words The same. We read the first, we process the first part first. Then the last. Middle part last, and the third part second.

Yeah.

So what's happened is our brain is like, hmm, I didn't process what's there, so let me substitute it with this, this one, this one might work. Or let me add a letter there, let me repeat a letter, or they're just going to omit it altogether. So I don't think people are looking at which characteristic they are exact of those, nor looking— you have to look separately at the transversals and, I mean, transposals and reversals, because those are more of the visual process. Where I found that it is, for me, 60/60 visual and auditory processing. So, and then the frequency makes a big difference of how often they, they do it. So, um, with that being said, I take all of those evaluations, the gifts and strengths, anger and shame, which I don't really call it that, but it's an easy way to say I know what I'm working with here, uh, and then, um, and then the, the learning characteristics, right? Um, and then my classes are, I wanted to talk about those because Lois and I first got We got in contact with each other when we came to poetry. That's just one of the classes. That's actually one of my enrichment classes. And poetry is a— that's not what I wanted to talk about. I didn't want to talk about it because it's 6th on my list. But poetry is my favorite thing because I did not write. I was not a writer at all. I would shake every time I'd go to write. It was triggering the trauma of shame inside of me. And then I would just shut down. But poetry brought it out. I started off with free verse poetry.

Yeah.

Because it didn't have any set rhyme meter and pattern. I was able to create my own. And then I can look inside it now and see, oh look, there's a rhyme, there's a rhyming verse.

Yeah.

And I didn't even mean to do that.

Yeah.

So it comes out when it's free verse, it comes out very natural. And then you can develop those, whatever you see within those free verse writings that you could develop more that's related to traditional poetry. So, um—

We have, we have a question from Chris, and he says, what advice do you have for parents that have children that feel ashamed because of their struggles in and out of school?

Okay, uh, so I think, uh, the word shame is an emotion, and everything related to that emotion is a feeling. So sad, alone, loss— all of those are perfect descriptions of how you may feel when you are ashamed. But I think when he's starting to physically— when you see him physically start to shut down, that goes into hypoactivity and start to get rather lethargic or slow in his processing, I'd ask him, how are you feeling? And he'll say, let me say, he'll say sad. Then you say, hey sweetie, that's what we've talked about, is when you're feeling sad, you're feeling the emotion of shame. So What made you feel to start to shut down? And then he'll hopefully tell you, well, I went to go write this. So, so then think about what he's being asked to write. Is it too difficult for him? Does it create too many boundaries and try to put him inside the box where, for instance, free verse poetry lets you go and explore? So, so again, he would hopefully be very familiar of that word shame, so he knows for the rest of his life he can have empathy for himself because you've talked to him. When you're feeling shame, think about empathy. That's caring for yourself. And how can you go care for yourself? Well, when you start to feel shut down, why don't you do the, the, the, uh, yoga movements that we do, um, crossing the midline. Think about the crossing, the ones that take you Over the, over the body. He wants you to go do that. Maybe he won't do that. Give him his— what's your affirmation? Mine was, I am smart, I can do this, I'm loved. Take him through those. And you're not going to be able to take his shame for him, but you can give them those tools from now for, for a long time. I would Google some other thing.

Ah, that's a good suggestion. Google other things. So dealing with shame, Particularly as an adult. Yes. I mean, there's so much information available. We've got to use it. That's a good one.

Google it.

That's right.

Google shame. Yes. Chris, does that answer your question? He might answer or might not. Oh yeah. You've had— you've said so much in all of that, you know, but you're right. It's an emotion, isn't it? So how are you feeling and how does it impact your body? And how does it impact the brain? And you're starting to give words to what they're actually physically doing, not just letting it go. That's right.

It's hypoactivity and hyposensitivity.

Yeah. So hypo means less than, lower than.

They might be go— yes, you feel less than you're— that's what I was going to bring up, the point of I feel like I was naturally kind of extroverted, but it forced me to be introverted, and that was part of the shame. Where I'm seeing my extrovertedness come out more and more. I mean, I'm speaking to you guys and I'm actually speaking well. I'm not stumbling over my words. I'm not having problems with word recall. That's all because I've worked out the shame.

Yeah.

So really, I can come into the being who I actually am. I actually am I'm very extroverted. I want to talk to people. I want to connect with people.

I wish there was a way in school to have a program where, like, not only are you educating the children in what they need to know academically, but also to educate not only the kids, but the parents and the teachers to understand all of this. As a parent, I didn't understand that, that I was uncomfortable when somebody else was angry. And this goes back to Hilary Jacobs Hendel's book, It's Not Always Depression, and she talks a lot about the things that, that you're saying, Tricia, as well.

Yeah.

And I didn't realize that I was, as a parent, uncomfortable with anger. So when someone else was angry, I was uncomfortable with that. And a lot of these kids, they are walking around angry, sad, Fearful, and they have no safe person to work this through.

Yes.

They need people to understand where the anger, fear, sadness is coming from, and then have a safe person to work it out with. But the teachers don't understand what's going on, and as you mentioned, maybe their egos are getting involved, and they're, you know, putting up defenses. And a lot of the educators just don't really understand these kids, and neither do the parents. So the kids wind up stuffing all of these core emotions down, and it's coming out in this anxiety and shame and all this other bodily feelings. I just think that we need a more comprehensive program to understand this so kids have a safe place.

I agree. And we've got a question from Rona. What is your advice for dealing with anger and resentment around learning trauma?

Okay, so, um, go to my website, you can find me, but it's tcooktutoring@gmail.com. I'll send you the checklist, and my checklist goes exact through what you're feeling when you're feeling angry in your learning. A lot of them is, are you being aggressive? Are you feeling frustrated? Are you breaking up pencils? Are you tearing up paper? So it's more of a physical activity type.

Are you—

Physical response.

It's more physical, that's right. When you have anger, it's more physical. On the opposite end, if you're feeling shame, the shame is again, like I said, the shutdown, The ruminating negative thoughts as you're learning. So please get a hold of me. I will send it to you. But what I would do is again the Piyam that I was talking the prayer, yoga, affirmations, and meditation. I would look up books, you know, on anger and shame. Not only that, I would look up on empathy and strength. How can you grow? Brain and Physique and Strength. If you're Christian, I'd say Mercy and Grace at that point. Um, then once you've worked that out, again, you could go to the hatred and then to the, um, the grief. And there's lots that you can find on hatred and grief of books. I love Scribd, S-C-R-I-B-D. It reads my books out to me. So you can really get get any book in there, not too high of a cost. So I get books read to me all the time. Podcasts like this one, you know, look at podcasts on those emotions. What I would do.

I'm going to give a plug for something that's coming up. Michael McKnight is talking next week about a similar thing. In October, we're talking to Dr. Mary Helen Immordino-Yang, who is a brain scientist. and talking about emotions and learning, you know, which is— she writes academic papers which I've read which are really worth getting hold of and available on Google. Type her name in, pops up. Astounding. Anyway.

Now I would also get to know your strengths. Um, a lot of people, like I said, real imaginative. A lot of the creative is The other side of the brain, there are a lot of the imaginative. So if you're imaginative, think, think about what you're envisioning. If you're envisioning it, go create it. A lot of it has to do with, again, caring for people, animals, nature. Go out in service of others. Go to an animal shelter. Go work with children with similar, you know, problems in school. So think about those as gifts, and also that you are wonderfully made, purposely made, that I feel like people with dyslexia have a strong will, and that will and drive and motivation, not everybody has. So I've heard where NASA does hire people with dyslexia because of that strong motivation. They're just not going to give up. So I would literally think about again getting a hold of me and also has the— and the strengths that you can look at and I'll tell you, you know, what they are.

And your links are in our— the links are in our description at the end so they— that's easy to find you. So Lisa.

I have another question. So how do we help the children who have to go through these tests. So they're not, you know, maybe reading well or reading on grade level, and then they go for the psychological testing. And some of these kids do this often. And a lot of the kids feel shame and embarrassment, and they're feeling like something's wrong with them just from the testing. How do we— how do we help explain it to parents, to explain it to the kids so they don't have to feel shame that there's something wrong with them?

Yeah, so the texting— the testing anxiousness, uh, well, we know what the testing is looking at, the standard brain and the atypical minds. We're not atypical, so let's put that aside. Those haven't changed yet. Those might change in the future, but putting that aside, again, if you're having test anxiety, it's because of most likely Shame, or the anger that created the shame. So if they're feeling that, they could go in right before a test. I would get a lot of sleep that night before. I would eat a banana, eat something really healthy, not too light, not too heavy. I would clear your mind, do some meditation before you leave that day, just a 5-minute Quick one, maybe. And I would go through them envisioning what it looks like taking the test. And then you said it's about how you're feeling first. If they're starting to feel their heart race, that's usually the anger trigger. Uh, they're feeling their heart race or breathing heavy, or you can't feel sweaty palms. But if you feel the sweaty palms, the neck starts to get stiff, that's more shame. That they could start some breathing exercises that y'all had practiced when you envisioned what would happen if you felt those. And a good one you could— they could do is this: go through the fingers, breathing in and out each finger, and then say the affirmations. I'm smart. I can do this. I'm loved. Let's say that one. And then get on with the test, but I would not try to push through the test without getting calm first.

Yes.

Because calm is key for equanimity and balance and all those things that you need naturally that are keeping you feeling peaceful and alert and aware. And, um, so another one they could do is, you know, breathing in and out like this, but I would not continue on because it's It's going to get worse and worse and worse. But they have to practice these.

What would you say to the parents to tell the children when they have to go for this psychological testing that a lot of their friends don't have to do? Yeah, and so those are great— that sounded more like for when they're taking tests in school, which is terrific advice. But how about when they're getting called into the school psychologist's office to be evaluated. How do you help parents help the children not feel so unusual is what I guess what I'm asking.

So empowerment and embracing your differences so that not everybody has to go to the psychometrist or psychologist or neuropsychologist. I don't know who they're gonna be seeing that day. Nobody, not everybody does, but let's embrace that difference and the fact that you may have a learning difference. Now, I call it learning difference.

I do too.

Now, then again, I'll call it neurodivergence. It's an umbrella for it all. It's just a nicer way of saying it.

Yeah.

So, I just like to say it like that. You may have a learning difference, but what have we talked about with learning differences? There's gonna be things that you can do that others Can't, and that, um, your strengths are blah blah blah with matching with, you know, all the things that, you know, that anger— my giftedness checklist can say to them. And, um, when you get out of there, I want you to know I'm going to be proud of you no matter if you did— you feel like you didn't do well, or you didn't think you did well. I'm proud of you no matter what.

Thank you.

How it went in there, because they want to be reassured, because most of the time they just want to please the adult, you know. Yeah, so I just prepare them by encouraging them and learning about how wonderful strengths we have from our differences.

I'm thinking about my sons and going through school, and I, you know, when I think about my second one in particular, you know, he says, I wasn't, I wasn't good at anything in 3rd grade. So encourage children to realise that life isn't a race and you're not going to be at the top. You might not, and that's not so important. So when do we want to— I mean, we want kids to feel strengths all the way through, which is important, but when do we want them to really excel in school or do better? And it's towards the end.

I found like, again, we do better in most things that are, um, an application.

Yes.

So that thing about— I was saying with the adult that may feel it, anger and shame, to go out and give service by going to the animal clinic, the students can do that too, and they're taking their strength to go to work at it and they're getting empowered by it. But not only do we have a strength for caring for people and being more sensitive towards others, we're constantly evaluating, what does their face look like? Do they look sad at me right now? What is their voice sounding like? So when they go and they leave that place, people are like, thank you for coming. Thank you for serving today. So they're, they're in service to others. They're taking their strength and in service of, and that's empowering them daily.

That's fantastic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you give from where you didn't feel before that, you know, you're just feeling bad about yourself. You're giving back to others, like it's giving you twofold.

And you know, and as you talk about this, I think it— what we— what I'm seeing a lot on Facebook is maybe we should rethink about less of grades and think more about sitting with the child who's isolated. So it's not only dealing with the child who's neurodiverse, but giving skills to the other students to include other children in the classroom.

Great. So I'm— my ELBERT, I'm a coach for it, and I have it going on in the classroom right now. And she was doing brain breaks before. Now she knows more of the purpose for them. But not only that, she is doing what we're saying. I've showed her to observe the child when you can see that they're tapping.

Yeah.

When you can see that they're starting to stutter, when you can see that slow processing speed is happening and you're having to repeat directions, repeat things, that, stop there. I said, it might be one-on-one with that child, it might be with a small group, it may be in the whole group, because you're creating, you've created a community where one person's feeling unsafe, we're going to work it out, we're all going to feel safe. And so then they stop feeling ashamed for having it happen because it's just part of their culture that they stop and they do breathing exercises and, and, and talk about, like I said, the emotion behind what they're feeling.

Yeah, yeah, which is—

Um, so she said that she's been in school for 4 days and she's already seeing a different culture in her classroom because they can pick up when another child is not Not feeling safe and shutting down, and they're seeing how's the teacher interacting with that child at that time.

Yes.

If they're ignoring them, they're not being asked probably questions, and if they're not being asked questions, then I can get out of this too.

Yeah.

So, but when they're— she's addressing it as she's seeing it, and they're all doing it along with her, voluntarily that is, they're doing it along with her, which they will do it You know, there's fun activities to do for calm. I meant to tell you, you can Pinterest calm— any teacher can Pinterest calming activities.

Ah, perfect.

Yes.

So that's a quick go-to of where to find the calm activities. And you can put up things in the classroom about calm and about anger and shame and replace with strength and empathy, what it is. And do social stories with it too. You can use non-names. Well, when you start to feel shut down, that's probably gonna be you're feeling sad and lonely and upset. So let's say that's shame. And what do we do? We go do PEOM.

Yeah. So, because you know what, what I remember is Martin Bloomfield when he talked on our show, Saying, you know, Martin failed his way through school. What are we telling the other students when it's okay to isolate a child in the classroom?

And he was— I said the teacher doesn't ask them questions or address this child and they get at it. But when you're feeling shame, that's what you want. You want to crawl inside yourself and you you're ruminating on negative thoughts. But, you know, like I said, if you talk about affirmations, as soon as you're aware of that negative thought, you stop it with a positive one. I am strength. There's another one. I just brought it out of my head right there.

And what, what, what I'm hearing from you is that you are creating a classroom of empathy and understanding through creating calm in the classroom and acknowledging that, acknowledging that not everyone's going to be learning at the same rate, but there are things that we can all do to share the experience of the classroom being positive.

I think we also can't ignore on the other side of this, are the teachers caught up in this system? Because, you know, the kids are feeling anxious, And those types of feelings, but so are the teachers, because there's so much being asked of them. And as Lois said, we put such a value on grades, and the teachers are feeling this. They don't have time to be also managing feelings, because they don't have time to do anything. It's all about the grades, and, you know, they got rid of gym class in a lot of different places. Because they've got to, you know, you know, hammer these skills, and the whole system needs like an overhaul. And maybe COVID is going to be the thing that helps. Maybe everybody's feeling stressed to the point now that they're going to take this more seriously and slow down and reevaluate.

A lot of it, I guess it was the early '90s where Conscious and Positive Discipline came out.

Yeah.

So now we're taking the SEL components A lot further within the last 3 years. So it's really even right before COVID a scene for teachers, but they don't— I don't see them attending those classes that much. But the ones that are doing it, their classroom, the kids are happier learning.

Yeah.

You know, being calm makes for happier learning.

Yeah.

And being a happy learner, you can learn anything.

Yes.

Use those strengths along with what I said. So the other teachers modeling. So over the last 3 years, I think we are getting a little bit better. It brought me to the point to tell you, when you're— when the teachers are anxious, they, they, they're practicing calm with the kids so much, they start to see their heart rate go down.

Yes.

Their inner thoughts are like, my principal's gonna come in, she's gonna be expecting me to do them to do well. All those negative negative thoughts of the— about what's— they're being put onto them will start to dissipate, because that's what it does. You're rewiring your brain for positive thinking.

Yes.

And so once those are used more, then they'll start to occur more in their life, and they'll feel less pressure. Um, so speaking of which, where we are using My Elbert in the classroom, The teacher doesn't have lesson plans that are going to be pushing it. She's got my, my Albert system outline.

Yeah.

For scope and sequence. That's what's there and the checklist. But what it is, she's doing reflective meditate— meditation and journaling on how did her day go? What should I do? What did I feel? What should be different? And then the 2 other questions that it's going to be mostly telling her is that if, you know what, if it didn't go well in my reflective journal, there's something that needs to happen right away.

Yeah.

Because writing that journal out is getting her not in a fearful state of my principal is going to be reading this lesson plan. It's her getting in touch with her subconscious subconscious and her feelings towards how did that day go and what could her difference be tomorrow. So, um, it's really getting her in touch with herself too.

Yes.

So we know it all comes, it all trickles from the higher level. So the children are as good as she is, how she's doing in her mental state. And then by— and then how she doing is based on her principles. And then so on and so forth. So we get these higher-up people to start to calm, get in touch with how they're feeling, and journaling, then they would, you know, it all trickled down to be better for the student. And that's the goal, is for the students.

So the students— I have a, you know, Google's telling me we've got 7 minutes left, so I don't want to rush it at the end, but I do want to say, where can we find you, Tricia? Where can people find you?

My website is www.mymyelbert.com. Perfect.

And you're on LinkedIn and Facebook and Twitter?

Yep, yep. And all the above. Instagram.

Perfect. And we've got your links in the show notes. Or in the, in the description. Lisa, where can we find you? And I've got a question from Xena before we go to—

I'm mostly on Facebook. I have a LinkedIn thing, but I'm not on there. I will be someday soon. And on YouTube with Lois on Monday afternoon.

Perfect. And I am here with, um, on loislatchford.com and Twitter and Facebook, mostly on LinkedIn. Xena has a question for us, so I wonder if we can answer it before In 2 minutes. What do you think about teachers doing these calming activities on scale, like during the regular school day or end-of-day calming activity? That's the goal, isn't it?

Our brain only takes in 4 to 5 new pieces of information at one time, so that averages about 15 minutes. So you should do every 15 minutes here and there, so to say, a 3-minute calm or brain balance activity to get their mind re-going and reset for new information. So if the child, one child can go longer, they don't have to participate. But for average, you'll see about 15 minutes.

Yeah. Yeah. So the calming activity—

You'll see better learning within, say, taking those breaks every 15 minutes.

And calming body down too. To lower, lower the heart rate, relax the muscles.

Yeah. And those— so it's not just for the kids that are feeling hyperactive, those hypersensitive students. It's also for the ones that are hypoactive and the hyposensitivity, because they have to reawaken and realign. Um, so they're not in shutdown. So what the teacher can see mostly is what they can physically see in front of them, the child getting hyper and things like that. But what about the child who's de-escalating that needs to be escalated?

Yes.

It's the same thing in there. If a child is overloaded, what about the child that's underloaded, you know?

And opting out.

That's a good point.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, thank you very much, Tricia. Thank you for joining us. We're going to close now because I'm going to be shut out of this, and I don't want to get shut off. So please smash the like button, hit the subscribe button with gusto. I'm told the bell for notifications, and share this channel with everyone so we can grow it. And I have to thank my son Isaac and his buddy Chris for their technical support because if they weren't here, I could not. Put this on the way it happens. So Tricia, thank you, Isaac. Thanks.

Thank you, Chris.

Thank you for coming and sharing this. You had so many strategies that we can that can be used.

Relax, calm down, physical, and your P P P Y P prayer Y yoga A affirmation. And meditation. There's so many different kinds. Yes, really are. You can Google any of them.

Oh, that's fantastic.

Pinterest them.

Pinterest them. Pinterest them. I don't even say that correctly.

Yeah, well, thank you.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, Joseph. And I—

you're so welcome, Lisa.

And this is the, um, the format it'll be from now on. We've only got 45 minutes, so So we have to stick to that or we get cut off.

That's right. I'll see you guys.

Thank you.

Thank you, Tricia.

Bye.

Thank you, Lisa.