Resilience and Wellness: The Power of a Growth Mindset

Foreign.

Not just a word. Welcome to the Synergy Podcast, where myself, Lori Essery, and Kelly Engelman shed light on powerful tools and topics that nourish your body and most importantly, feed your soul.

As you can see, we've changed our platform so we get to actually see each other. You guys will be watching now, and that's always fun for us to create some videos. So we're going to dig in today and talk about how. How mindset is such a powerful tool in your wellness practice. So, Lori, tell us a little bit about that for your practice and what you're seeing in your patients. Like, how does mindset play into kind of the overall health and wellness picture of resilience?

Well, you know, we always say that mindset is the cushion of the chair. You know, you have those four pillars, right? Nutrition and detox and exercise and hormone balance. But at the end of the day, that chair is not a chair unless you have that cushion. So mindset really is the glue. It's the key. You know, we always say so as you think you are. So if you truly believe you can, you can, and if you can't, you can't. So mindset is key. It's that decision, right? To change, you've got to have that decision. I want to change. Not I need to change, per se, but I want to change, right?

So changing that verbiage, even just changing little words that we use, can be so powerful in keeping us embraced in our wellness journey as it comes to resilience. And so there are some key, like, core concepts for mindset. And I think if we could frame that out for people, I think it would help give them a little bit more bounce in their cushion, if you will, so that they can really understand and embrace what they're doing when they embrace mindset. So to have a resilience mindset, we think about, you know, embracing that ongoing learning. You and I, Laurie, have created a tremendous curriculum for patients, right, to lean into. And part of that curriculum is just fostering their learning in a way that takes them, meets them where they are on their journey and continues to allow them to foster that journey.

Definitely, yeah. I mean, you know, resilience to me is that ability to bounce back, to endure, to fight, to keep going, to persist. And I mean, truly, you know, know, in order to foster that on a regular basis or in order to have that, you have to foster it, you have to nourish it. You know, we talk all the time about nourishing your soul with food, but the reality is, if you're not nourishing yourself daily in the way that you think and feeding yourself with the positivity and just those, those key things that you can be doing on a daily basis to foster our positive mindset, then it's going to be much harder for you to reach those goals that you have for yourself.

Right. So think about, you know, as we're helping people learn, you know, one of our primary goals in functional medicine is to not only discover root cause of what's causing perhaps dysfunction, but also truly helping a person learn their body. Because if they can embrace and learn their body, then their decisions are going to be much easier and more clear to navigate. Would you agree with that?

Absolutely. I mean, clarity, you know, you have to have the, you know, the windshield wipers kind of on the car when it's raining. You better have them working really well so you can see where you're going. So clarity is key.

Yeah. I had a conversation with the patient this week. It was interesting. She was in for her VIP visit check in for the 12 week period and we had a great conversation and she left. And she came back later in the week for a procedure and she said, I just want to tell you that I've been lying to myself. She said, I've been saying that I'm doing all these things and I am doing them to some degree, but not to the degree that it's really going to make an impact and make change. And she said, I have been lying to myself about my current situation. And that just rung in my ears about, you know, we think about the growth mindset. We have to be willing to embrace our reality. You know, what is the world we're living in today and what are the things that we need to put in front of us in order to make that next best decision. I thought there was power in, I'm just not living in my current reality. I'm not recognizing, I'm not honoring. And there's so much power in honoring that current reality and knowing what the next best thing is to do.

I'm sure that that was a huge epiphany for her too, and probably made you feel as a provider of care, helping her navigate that that probably warmed your heart too.

I think for her it was just giving her space to navigate it herself, letting her talk it out and just asking her questions that she later went home and thought about more, you know, because there's the proper answer that you want to tell your provider. Yes, I'm doing this. Yes, I'm doing that. Yes, I'm doing this, but at the end of the day, it's, are we being honest with ourselves about what we're really doing more often than not? And then what's helping us make the biggest impact?

And I think about the difference between a head change and a heart change. You know, we talk about that space spiritually, too, but you think about it in relationship to our overall health change, that we can have that head change, where, yes, you know, I'm going to make this difference. I'm going to make, you know, I'm going to make these key changes. But that heart change is really where the transformation, the beauty of the transformation begins.

Right. Another core concept of a mindset of resilience is the ability to bounce back. Yeah. Having that cushion, you know, how are we building our cushion in our lives, knowing our reality? Then what are we setting up in our world in a way to provide a cushion, kind of a margin of grace around ourselves so that we do have some bounce back?

So what are those things for you, Kelly, that on a regular basis that you do to ensure that?

I think from a mindset perspective, I think always having a plan, but also recognizing that my plan will never get me there. So being willing to navigate the plan and reevaluate the plan, I think that's huge because oftentimes we get really rigid and we think, if the plan. If I can't work the plan, then I'm failing. And from a mindset perspective, I think that can be very defeating when it comes to really trying to make progress over time. At the end of the day, I try to tell myself I'm in this for the long game, not the short game. And sometimes there are short game things that we do, but at the end of the day, it's really about the long game. And so reminding myself of that, one of the things I did this year was I wrote out kind of a plan for myself in the front of my calendar. And when I say plan, it's a very loose plan, but it really just gave me anchors for clarity and the things that I really want to focus on this year. And so every morning I try to read that, you know, do some scripture reading, I do a little meditation. And then I read that. Because if I can stay true to my compass, then I don't let the other things that are going to intrude on my day and my life and all the things I don't let the. I don't give them as much power. And it's easy to give those things all the Power and not stay focused on what it is we're really here to accomplish. So that's been helpful for me this year.

Yeah, so what I heard you say is that you actually wrote it down. You took time to write it down, and you reflect on it on a daily basis, almost like in a way, affirmations, things that we speak out loud. Right. That we go back to and we repeat. Yeah. I mean, I think that from, you know, from a resilience standpoint, it's taken many, many shapes.

Right.

And that's kind of what you said. You have to refine that plan all the time as you're. You're working the plan. So I do believe that over the course of the last few years, my resilience plan, particularly in respect to mindset, has changed. And I have come to realize that there's power to my mornings. And when I don't take the time to carve out my morning, to get up, to have space, to not be in a rush and not be in a hurry, to have a period of time where there's affirmations, to have a period of time time where there's reflection and prayer time and feeding and nourishing my soul. And when I do that routinely, it changes my mind and it changes my day. So that's been a major change for me. But also it's growth. Like I started out in the very beginning, it was, I have 10 minutes, right. I'll have 10 minutes and I'll just do my devotion. And it's expanded out to about an hour every morning. But that started with just the decision to make it happen. And that's what I really encourage the people that, you know, are listening to day is take that first step. You know, what, what is it that's that. That, you know, is in that column for you over time that you've been more successful. When I do, when I'm doing this, this is what's making me more successful. And if you have a list of those things, write them down and then make sure those things are happening routinely and repetitively.

I love it. Yeah. I think it's Dr. Joffe that says that we need 70 minutes a day. And I think he's in his 80s, maybe close to 90. Okay. So we're talking about someone that has lived well. We need about 70 minutes a day of self care. And so carving out that time. And it doesn't all have to be at the same time. Right. It doesn't mean 70 consecutive minutes. It just means 70 thoughtful minutes, like intentional moments of Self care in order to keep our bodies balanced, you know, our nervous system balanced. So that's awesome that you're carving out that time. And I'll have to say I have noticed in you just changes in your language, right, Just changes in your language as it relates to stressors because we can let those stressors really, really take hold and change our mindset or we can get control of our mindset. So it's been beautiful to watch your transition there. Love it, Love it.

Thank you. Yeah, I wanna go back to what you said about Dr. Joffe and I just think about when I first heard someone tell me like, you need to carve self care time. And so my mind went to dollars and cents. Right. Like, I mean, how do I do that? I'm going to have to, you know, pay for massages and I'm going to have to pay for, you know, whatever it is, you know, it went to money. And I just want to remind everybody that it doesn't, you know, when we think about self care, yes, those things would be great. Go have a massage, you know, go have, you know, some sort of acupuncture, you know, go do whatever it is that, you know, you, you feel like are those self care things and those are important but you know, they don't have to cost money. Time is a precious commodity and at the end of the day there is an expense, but there's a huge return on that investment. And just taking the time, that doesn't have to be expensive. Right. Just get yourself some good books.

Right.

There's some really good books out there on just things that do lift you up and empower you and are positive.

Yeah. So one of my favorite things to do in the evenings is a nice hot Epsom salt bath. Very low budget but very necessary for me to kind of decompress and get ready for bed. So yeah, it doesn't have to be an expensive practice. Sometimes though, like you said, it goes to dollars and cents and people say they don't have the time. Right. Their schedule is just too packed. Right. And what I would say to that is if your schedule is too packed for self care, eventually you're not going to be able to keep the pace. So it makes more dollars and cents to slow down and allow that time than it does to push, push, push and not allow that time for reflection and self care.

Yeah, absolutely. And you know, reflecting back to what you just said about the evening time and that, that you know, 70 or 90 minutes or you know, whatever, you are able to at least start with is having those patterns, you know, setting. Setting a goal for yourself or, you know, of course, James Clear says, right, we don't rise to the level of our goals. We fall to the level of our systems that we have in place. So whatever systems you have in place to be resilient is, you know, look at your mornings. But, you know, mornings may not be it for you. We're talking about mornings. Mornings have become very powerful for me, but maybe it is evenings. To start with, what can you do prior to bed? I mean, we think about kids and routine and children, and they do really, really well, and they're structured to a bedtime routine. And I tell adults all the time, like, you need a bedtime routine. And they're like, really? You know, I'm an adult. Why do I need a bedtime routine? I'm like, you need a bedtime routine. You know, what do you do in the evenings? So to your point, you know, it might be for someone starting out, just carve out time in the evening just to decompress, you know, periods of silence. You know, whether it be, you know, five or 10 minutes of just complete silence. You know, remember the old commercial Calgon, Take Me away? It just reminds me of that. Right.

Absolutely. Absolutely. So the third core concept for a mindset of resilience is being adaptable, both mentally and physically. Adaptability is just hugely important. And I'll say, you don't fail unless you quit, right?

Yes. Say that again. That's a good one.

Yeah. You don't fail unless you quit. That's the only time you fail. Otherwise, you're just learning. It's new information. It's a different way of approaching things. And so think about that in relationship to the goals you have for yourself. You know, it's. Your healing is not going to be linear. It's not a straight path. Sometimes it's two steps forward, one step back. And that's okay as long as your trajectory stays good. And that's what your functional medicine provider should be helping you see is what is that trajectory really looking like? Because in the moment, it can feel like failure. But you're only going to fail if you quit. So don't give up.

Yeah. The reality is that takes reframing. Reframing that what you would have historically called a failure. Because I do think that we've. We all do have periods in our life, and some of us more than others due to whatever those challenges have been in our past that have made us really think of things as failures. Right. But reframing it as an opportunity for growth. And that's again, that set shift in a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset. And adaptability is a skill that you develop, and it takes practice.

So what do we say? You know, a lot of times people think they either have a growth mindset or they have a fixed mindset. Right? What do we say to that?

That's a fixed mindset.

That's a fixed mindset. Okay. That's a fixed mindset. What I say is it's on a continuum. You know, at some at given moment, we could all be in a fixed mindset. I mean, we've all been frustrated to the point where we can't see the solution. And we have a very fixed mindset about the challenge that we're encountering. But think about your ability to develop a growth mindset on a continuum. And some people tend to be more fixed mindset than others. You know, just by nature, maybe they just haven't worked on that skill or, you know, it hasn't been fostered in them. So getting someone in your life that has a growth mindset that you can learn from and that can help you develop that. Because truly, when we look at longevity studies, like looking at the blue zones and all the studies of the blue zones, one of the commonalities of people that live well, not just live long, but live long well have a growth mindset.

That's so true and it's so, so important. Like, I just, I want to reiterate everything thing that you said, and it, again, it. It takes, it takes practice and it takes allowing people to come alongside of you and looking for people that you can put around you. We say we're, you know, the average of the five people we hang around the most. So go looking for people that can come alongside of you that really do have that growth mindset. They're, they're very adopt adaptable. They have higher levels of tolerance. Right. For things in some respects.

Right.

You have to have the balance. But definitely look for them and look for opportunities to learn from them, watch them duplicate, you know, some of the stuff that they do. Practice it.

So Lori and I want to hear from you guys. So we want to hear comments, suggestions. We want to know kind of what's leading you in your growth mindset. Maybe what's holding you back and keeping you in that fixed mindset. And we'll have more to come in future episodes on growth mindset. Because this is such a huge topic. This is not a one and done. This is how do we dig in and keep fostering that growth mindset.

Absolutely. And thank you so much for spending the time today. We look forward to seeing you back real soon on future episodes of the Synergy Podcast.