07. Loshni Manikam: Improving wellbeing in New Zealand's dairy industry

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Hi, I'm Sue Stockdale. Today I'm talking to Loshini Manakam, Winner of the 2018 Fonterra Dairywomen of the Year award. She runs Thriving Farming Women and Iceberg Coaching and lives in New Zealand. Welcome, Loshni.

Oh, thank you very much, Sue. It's lovely to be here.

Now, your background, Loshni, is really interesting in terms of how you ended up in New Zealand being responsible for milking, I understand, 600 cows and doing coaching. Tell us how it all came about.

It's actually quite a short story because even though I was born in South Africa, you know, I did what a lot of young people do after they finished Unique and you go off on your oe. And I actually ended up in England backpacking for a while and I met a lovely boy from New Zealand who happens to be a fourth generation dairy farmer. And he convinced me that New Zealand was this land of milk and honey. And that's how I've ended up now living in a beautiful part of the world at the bottom of the south island of New Zealand.

That sounds amazing and I'm really interesting to understand the leap from dairy farm to being a coach. That's not what us people necessarily do.

I got to a point in my life where it was a sort of crossroads. You know, I'd been married to a farmer and unfortunately, I can't take full responsibility for milking 600 cows because that's mostly my husband's passion and I'm just more the business partner. So I married a farmer, started raising our kids, stopped doing the law stuff, and I'd got to that stage where the kids were getting older and didn't need me as much and I was looking for something more. And after a lot of soul searching and trying to figure out what really interested me and what made me come alive, I always came back to the fact that it was people that I loved working with and stumbled across coaching. And that was the transition from being mostly involved in dairy farming to becoming a coach.

So when you Discovered coaching as a profession, if you like, and something that you could do more of. How did you get into being trained, learning more about how to coach and even thinking about who your market would be when you're in the south of New Zealand?

Like I said, it was a pain point for me. It was a crossroads because when I was that farmer's wife that had given up a big part of her identity and married someone and taken on that whole industry and business 10 years later, it was a question of rediscovering who I was, what was my identity, what did I enjoy doing? Because I put all of that aside for quite a while because I chose to be the stay at home mom and the supporter of our farming business. And when I looked around me, I noticed there were a lot of other women that were very similar. So in a way the market was already there. It was something that was very close to home. And I knew I wanted to work with farming women to help them to rediscover themselves and figure out what they wanted besides family and farming. And that's actually what led to coaching. And you know, it was good old Dr. Google and I'd been searching and searching and came across this term coaching, you know, back in 2011 in New Zealand especially, like you say, from a farming background, it wasn't a very common concept. And so the market was something that drove me to find coaching. I already knew it was a pain point I wanted to try and help resolve. It took me 18 months to build up my self confidence to actually go out and sign up to a coaching course because it cost a lot of money for someone who was used to not spending money on herself. And then I spent a long time justifying that decision of would I ever even get one client ever?

So I imagine that you had to have a great deal of belief in yourself that you would get a return on that investment of learning about coaching. And I know that you are the recipient of the Fonterra Daily Women of the Year award, which is a very prestigious award in New Zealand. Was there any benefit around gaining that award and the coaching that you were doing?

Yeah, they're very much intertwined in some ways. The award was a recognition of the work that I have been doing for the last five years with women in the farming sector in New Zealand. It's also brought me a lot more credibility and it's given me a platform to talk about the things that I'm passionate about. So they are very much intertwined.

I imagine then that when you have that belief that Something will work out, opportunities come towards you that you can benefit from.

Yeah, that is such a cliche, but it's so true, sue, because sitting there before I started doing my coaching training, like I said, I didn't know if I'd ever get a single client. And it is amazing, once you take those first steps and do something that doors open and suddenly it seems like there's a flood of people that are actually interested in finding a coach. And I haven't had a problem ever filling my books.

In terms of the support that you offer to women in the dairy industry, tell us a bit about what sort of ways that you do that. What are the sort of issues that you come up against that they seek your help with?

I love working with people that are looking to continue thriving before they sort of end up at the top of the cliff or at the bottom of the cliff. And I like working with people to help them get clarity around what is it that makes them thrive and also what are the obstacles that get in their way of thriving. So it's very much a focus on full wellness, even before health and wellness becomes an issue that makes sense.

And in terms of people taking to coaching in the dairy industry, you talk about it being quite an isolated, remote business in its own right, just because of the geography, etc. How do people view it when you offer them coaching? Is it a difficult sell?

I think in the beginning, when I started out in 2012, it was unknown and a little bit difficult. And I think what didn't help was me positioning myself as a life coach, because I think that made it more intimidating. And two, I think people perceive that they have to be really vulnerable. What has helped for people in the sector to start taking to coaching is what I've seen a lot of organizations and individuals do, which is attach coaching as an integral part of leadership. You know, coaching has been attached to a lot of leadership programs in the dairy industry and positioned as an incredibly useful tool for all leaders. And I think that's really helped the uptake because it's not being positioned as what we would traditionally consider a soft skill. It's almost being positioned as one of the hard skills that you have to have. And that's helped with a lot of men looking into coaching as part of the leadership toolbox and women as well. I do find that because I've also been a coach on a number of leadership programs in New Zealand. Even though I started off as positioning as a life coach, I transitioned into more of a leadership and a professional development coach. And that's what's made it easy as well, that it's normally attracted women that want to grow their leadership skills and contribute in the industry and they've been very open to looking at coaching as part of it.

So when you say that it's viewed as a part of leadership and the toolbox that people would have access to to be more effective leaders. How do you measure the success of the coaching interventions that you have?

It is a good question and it's a difficult thing to measure in sort of a long term. The way of measuring it is to notice where the people are actually having positive changes to their lives and sort of big picture in terms of an industry. What will be great to see is the culture of our industry changing of the farming industry. So instead of us being all about farming and our family and that's it, if we can start seeing in the next five years or 10 years that our culture is becoming a lot more open and positive and a lot more well balanced, I think that will be a real indicator that coaching has played a part of that because obviously it's very multifaceted and there'll be lots of factors involved. It's a challenging thing to be able to measure the impact.

So I'm hearing you say that it's around in a way changing the individual. So there's a human element to it, individual element. There's also a link you ideally would like to see is around the business and society in a way that there's a greater impact holistically.

Absolutely. It's one of my pet projects is I would love to see us, I only look at the farming sector but it's wider society as well that if we can, you know, get each individual person to be thriving then obviously there's going to be positive ripple impacts on that person's family, that person's farming business, their communities that are all made up of farming businesses and then you know, the wider New Zealand and then the whole entire world.

I was curious to think about what you have learned about you since becoming a coach.

I think I've learned it's more about coaching than me, but it's very hard to untie the two. But I've learned the power and the impact of just listening to someone, the impact I can have by creating a safe and non judgmental space and create that space for someone else to get clear on their own thinking. I have learned how powerful that is and it's a very interesting thing to learn especially for someone like me who loves talking. And as you know, when you're a coach, most of the time in theory, we're listening. So it's been incredibly powerful to learn about the power of listening.

It's almost the simplicity I'm hearing of that message about really being there and giving somebody your full attention is so powerful.

Yes. I think the more and more that I coach, the more I learn that our lives are so busy and everyone's running around all the time doing, you know, multitasking and that people really value and appreciate an hour where they get to talk about themselves and their thoughts because very rarely are we getting that in life anymore. An uninterrupted hour that is dedicated to you. So yeah, that power of being able to listen, I've learned a lot else. You know, I've learned a lot about my own personal development because it's been mirrored in my clients personal development. It's been an incredible journey of learning.

Do you have any top tips or points that you think our listeners should pay attention to for their own health and well being?

I don't really like giving advice because I don't ever feel like I know more than other people. But I think that one of the mottos that I live by that really helps me get clarity and stay optimistic and positive is I try to always anchor myself with the thought that we only get one shot at this life. This is not a rehearsal. We don't get to come back and do over. And I think to myself almost on a daily basis, why not give this my best shot? So I think it's about creating an awareness and a focus and a clarity about what do you actually want out of life? What's your definition of a successful life? And it's kind of like what would you like in your eulogy? Looking ahead to the end of your life so you can look back really helps me stay focused on, well, I'm here and I want to contribute and I want to serve, but I also want to do it in a way that is fun and healthy and sustainable and flexible. And so if I know what the end goal is, it helps me in my day to day or week to week activities and interactions because it keeps me focused on what I see as the prize. So even with clients, I always try to help them get clarity around what is the quality of life that you are giving yourself permission to achieve. And that question and that answer I think helps lead onto a whole lot of other things.

Wow, that's a powerful thought to leave us with considering. Loshni, thank you so much for your time today. It's been great talking to you.

Thank you very much. Sue. It's been a pleasure.