Is Fear Keeping You Broke?

Foreign. This is Busy Getting Better, the podcast for women who are committed to prioritizing their own personal growth. I'm your host, Madison J. A mindset and money coach, a first generation wealth builder and a woman on a mission to help you master your finances and live your best life. Money is not all we are covering though because in order to live your best life, you have to become your best self. So we are diving deep into all things personal development and bringing you the mindset. Mindset shifts, money, tips and inspiration. You need to go out there, be bold and build the life you can't stop daydreaming about. It's time to get busy, babe. Busy getting Better. What is up? Welcome to Busy Getting Better. We are at the top of a brand new year and that means I know that you have so many goals that you are working towards. It's such a wonderful time to just think big, dream big and just ideate about what is possible this year. What could you actually accomplish? What are some dope ass goals that you could go after and what could your life look like at the end of 2025? I think there is something that is just so magical about the New Year energy. Obviously you can choose to change your life at any point of the year, but let's be real, there is just something in the air in the January time frame of a new year where you just get to feel big and bold and audacious and you get to just feel figure out who the fuck you want to be this year and what immediately comes after. Dreaming big and setting your sights high and having all these really amazing goals that you want to accomplish. Creeps in, doubt, self doubt and fear and those emotions start to take over and they start to run the show. And what I want to have a conversation about today is identifying if and how fear is running the show when it comes to your finances and how to have a shift in mindset when it comes to thinking about money, thinking about your financial goals this year. Because let's be real, fear is a real thing. Fear is something that shows up and it's not always very logical. When we think about how our brain works, how our brain operates, our brain is wired to survive, our brain is not necessarily wired to thrive. And and so our brain is going to fear so many things that we have not accomplished before and you start to just have all these negative thoughts and these doubts and these feelings of just man, is this really possible? Like can I actually go out and make these a reality? Maybe I'm not ready to make that investment, maybe I'm not ready to go down that path. Fear starts to creep up, and it is vicious because it can sound so, so supportive, and it can sound so reasonable, and it can sound like it's a logical decision. But at the end of the day, it is fear that is going to hold you back from going after your goals. It is fear that is going to hold you back from taking big risks, for stepping into the unknown, from doing something that you have not done before. And we already know. I know you already know this, that what you have done has gotten you to where you are. And if you have a vision of a life that you're not currently living, a reality that you're not currently operating in, goals that you want to accomplish that you have never accomplished before, then you're going to have to do something that you haven't done before. And that is the exact moment that fear starts to creep in. And the thing about fear is that fear is going to show up in so many different ways. I am actually reading a book right now that I think so perfectly encapsulates all of the different ways that fear sneakily shows up in your life. And so I want to share them. So the book that I'm reading right now is called Be Seen by Jen Gottlieb. And the six things that she talks about how fear shows up in our lives is the first one being fomo. This fear of a missed opportunity, looking at somebody else, somebody else's life, somebody else's accomplishment in feeling like you missed anything out in that experience that fear comes from. I haven't done enough. I haven't shown up in the right way. I haven't gone after things that I thought I wanted to go after. This feeling of, oh, my gosh, I feel like I'm missing out on this opportunity is fear speaking. And sometimes this is a really great way to figure out what it is that you do actually want. If you feel a little bit of that jealousy, that envy that pops up when you see somebody else accomplishing a goal, use that as a guide to show you what it is that you want. And know that you can move through the fear to start having those types of goals and those types of accomplishments yourself, the next way that fear shows up for us is a really common one. And this is comparisonitis. When we see all of the ways that people are living their life so big social media is a huge component of just giving this comparisonitis, feeding it, fueling it. We get to see all of these highlights of everybody's lives and feel like, oh my gosh, I need to have that house or that car or that body or that lifestyle or whatever it is. And we just start to compare ourselves to other people's reality. Even though we all know things like social media, things like television, they're not full pictures of people's lives. But comparison itis shows up and fuels this feeling of not enoughness, of not having accomplished enough or become enough or whatever that feeling is for you. And obviously it's wrong. You are enough. You are worthy of everything that you are desiring in this life. But yeah, comparisonitis is real. I think we all probably have experiences of feeling that feeling of just seeing somebody else's life and being like, oh what can I do to have that? But just know that underneath comparisonitis is fear rooted there. Next on the list is something I personally have hid behind for such a long time. And what she calls out in this section when talking about this one specifically is that it is so commonly something that people wear as a badge of honor. And this is perfectionism hiding behind oh, it's just not good enough yet. I need to put more time and effort into this. I don't want to post anything or share anything or move forward with anything unless it's my all in, unless it's everything I have to give, unless it's perfect. I don't want to attach my name to something unless it's a 10 out of a 10 unless I've given it 110%. What that is is fear and it is leading to procrastination. And it's all under the guise of perfectionism, of having high standards, of having a high quality of work. And I think there is a fine line between sure, having high standards for yourself and having a high expectation for quality that you put out and wanting to give it your all and wanting to show up a hundred percent and wanting to back your name with really great work and effort. But what is the fine line and where is it? Just procrastination under the guise of perfectionism because you are afraid. Afraid of what people are gonna say, afraid of what people might think. There is fear rooted in perfectionism. It is the basis of it. And what I have learned on my own journey is that there is absolute no such thing as perfection. And the more at bats that you get at something that's where you start to get better at it. If you're looking at starting an online business, I'm telling you from personal experience that first reel that you post is going to be trash and the third one you post and the sixth one you post, they're all not going to be good. You're not supposed to be good at something when you start. You're just supposed to start. But when you constantly put this face of. But I just want it to be perfect, and I want to make sure that I do everything correct, guess what? You are not going to make traction on those goals. You just have to remember to move forward through them and not hide behind perfectionism. This is one that I just feel so deeply because I resonate with this so much of just being like. I just want it to be better. I just want the words to be perfect. I just want the colors to land, like, whatever it is, you could go on and on. And then you just start to recreate things and you're like, I gotta make a better version. I gotta do this again, again, before I go all out, before I put it out there for people to see. It's just fear. It's just fear. It's me being afraid that I'm going to get judged, that someone is going to laugh at me. And the thing that I put out or not take me seriously or mock or make fun of or just judge for what I care about. Like, that's all fear. And so this is one that I obviously really resonate with. Next on the list is imposter syndrome, which I also can resonate with a lot. These two specifically are really, really big. And so imposter syndrome is this feeling of, oh, my gosh, what are they going to figure out? That I'm a fraud, I don't belong here. These goals that I've accomplished are just, I don't know, luck, whatever it is. Imposter syndrome is something where you feel like you are not prepared for the state of life that you're in, the chapter that you're in, and it's a lie. You're so deserving of where you are at. And imposter syndrome is something that so many people struggle with. That voice, that doubt and in your head. And again, it's just. It's fear. It's fear showing up in a different and a new way of, oh, my gosh, have I done enough to be here? Have I earned my spot? Do I deserve to have my voice heard? Do I deserve to have the credibility that I'm going after? Do I deserve the accomplishment of the goals that I'm trying to focus on? It's fear, and it shows up as imposter syndrome. And it's just really important to understand that Voice that pops up. And just know that the. The purpose of that voice is to keep you stuck. It's to keep you safe. It's to keep you rooted exactly where you are so that you don't move forward and you don't put yourself in a situation where you can be judged, where you can fail. And failure is a part of the process. And so imposter syndrome is something that everybody has to work through. It's just really important to understand how it's showing up for you. Another one on this list is analysis paralysis. Raise your hand if you have ever been stuck in analysis paralysis. You're like, I just want to make a freaking decision. There is decision fatigue. There is. I gotta run the numbers on every option. I've gotta think about 10 steps ahead. How could this pan out? Is this good? Is this bad? Should I take this route? Should I do this route? Should I go for this job? Could I stay where I'm at? Like, what's the better option? You just gotta decide and go. The people that are making waves, that are making big traction, are trusting that no matter what they decide, they will figure it out. There is no perfect answer or there is no perfect next step. Every step that you take is a part of the journey, and that is important to remember. Analysis paralysis is so real. And again, just remember, it's all about learning. It's all about growing. And if you are constantly finding yourself sitting there, like, looking at different options, just thinking that one of them is going to be the answer to all of your problems, you're wrong. Either option that you pick is going to get you closer. Even if it doesn't pan out the way that you want it to. Even if you think, quote, unquote, it was the wrong decision, it wasn't because it taught you something. You're going to learn from that decision. The problem with analysis paralysis is not picking the wrong answer. It's just staying stuck. It's not doing anything. Don't stay stuck because you're afraid to make the wrong next move. Just trust that whatever move you do make is for a good purpose. And the last one on the list, she lists as disease to please. This is the people pleasers of the world. Always wanting to make sure that everybody else is happy, everybody else is having a good time, Everybody else is getting what they want. You're afraid to outshine people. You're afraid to show up and take up space and be the big badassness that you are because you don't want people to think that you aren't humble. Or maybe you're going to show up braggy about the goals that you have accomplished. Like you're just always wanting to make other people feel okay. If you are a people pleaser again, know that there is fear there. Fear of you showing up, fear of you taking up space. Fear of you raising your hand and you're like, okay, cool. I know that's what you want, but guess what? This is what I want. And I am going to go for it. I'm going to go after it. I'm going to make the changes and set the goals and build the plan and put myself out there so that my dreams can come to fruition. And I hope that that doesn't impede on your goals. But if it does, I gotta do me. I gotta go after what I know I need to go after. You can't spend your whole life trying to placate everybody else around you at the sacrifice of your own dreams and your own goals. People pleasing is something a lot of people struggle with. All of these things that I'm mentioning, these are all so common. So if you resonate with one of these or three of these or all six of these, know that you're not alone and know that they show up for everybody. Your goal, your objective in life is to figure out how and when they are showing up for you and how they are holding you back from accomplishing the things that you want to go after and being able to name them when you can understand, oh, this is just me getting caught in analysis. Paralysis. I know I just need to make a decision and jump. Oop, here I am again procrastinating because of my perfectionism. I just need to hit frickin post, see what happens and move on with my life and learn from this and keep growing. If there is imposter syndrome that's popping up, it's like, oh man, that voice is loud. Today I'm gonna go ahead and just check in with all of the reasons that I know I deserve the path that I'm on. What are all of the things that I have accomplished? What are all of the things that do make me right for this space, this chapter, this seat, this role that I have set myself up to be in. No matter what it is, all of these things are going to come in and out of your life. And some days two of them might resonate, some days the other ones might resonate. Just know what they are, call them out, thank them. Like, thank you, goodbye. I got big life over here. I'm trying to Build. I got plans to go after. I got dreams to accomplish. And fear is not going to be the thing that stands in my way. And so I want to just let you have a real time to reflect on these big goals that you're setting for yourself and for your year and for your life. And I want you to just really have a candid conversation and ask yourself, how is fear showing up for you? Is it running the show? And is it holding you back from boldly going after the dreams that you have and the goals that you want to accomplish? And if it's holding you back, then your brain is keeping you broke, my friend. Your brain is going to be the thing that is holding you back from maybe going after a big career move or leaving your job or starting a side hustle or starting a business and going all in on it, investing in yourself, in any sort of capacity. And so I just want to have a conversation about how fear is controlling your finances and how to break free from it. So if we think about our brain and the functionality of it, right? Our brain is there to keep us alive. When we think about how it is wired, it is there from a survival perspective. And so it views things that it doesn't know. It views the unknown as threats. It's always looking out for things that it could identify as something that could kill you, essentially, right? We think back to our brains back in the day in caveman era, and we were just like, needing food to survive. We needed shelter, we needed fire, and we needed to avoid all of the big scary creatures that were trying to eat us. And so our brain is just always looking out for that level of threats. It's always looking out for things that could kill us, right? That's literally what our brain is trying to do, is to keep us alive and keep us safe, which is great. We love that. We obviously want to survive. We want to live. We do not want to die. And so we really like the fact that our brain does that. But the thing is, that happens in our brain is that it's going to view anything that it doesn't know already as a threat. So anything that you've never done before, an experience you've never had before, it could be the dopest thing ever. But if you haven't done it, your brain's going to be like, meh, I don't know about this, right? I don't know if this is what's best for us. Think about all the things that could go wrong if we took this step, if we went in this direction. And so our brain is just going to continuously look out for those things. And so we have to be so, so cautious and so cognizant of that fact of understanding what that voice sounds like when it's creeping up in your mind when you want to do something different. Fear is an emotion that is rooted in a belief that we are in a threat situation. And when we understand that, it's an emotion that comes up from a belief, that means we have to look at what the beliefs are that are triggering that emotion. And this is where, you know, the idea of limiting beliefs as it relates to money come into play. And so when we think about limiting beliefs that we have about money, about ourselves, about what we're capable of, those are the things that we've really got to get clear at. So if you're looking at a situation where you want to go get a new job this year, you want to do something different, you want to make more money than what you are making right now, fear could show up for you. Like, yeah, abo, are you going to be able to do that job? Do you think you're capable of those skills? You've got to kind of comfy where you're at right now, you know, like, you know, the people, they know you. You have your routine, you have, you know, the people that you talk to on your way in and your way out. And you just kind of, you know how things operate here, right? You understand the lay of the land. You know you can do the job duties. So it would be kind of silly to leave and go do something else. Because what if your boss over there sucks? Or what if the coworkers are terrible? And what if they don't give you the time off that you need or the flexibility that you need? And what if it ends up being totally of a shittier situation? That is fear trying to sound like rationalization. That is fear telling you to look out for all of the things that could be wrong. And so when you're looking at that situation and you're hearing that voice pop up, why don't you try and train that voice and stop it and instead think about, but what if this next job move is everything I dream of and more? What if this job gives me the opportunity to increase my skills and build confidence in myself? What if this job move puts more money in my bank account and this boss is the best boss I've ever worked with? What if I meet my best friend at this job? What if I meet my husband at this job? What if I Meet the person that's gonna open up a door for me into something I didn't even know I wanted. What if it's a better commute and better vibes and all around just makes me a better version of me. Our brain is never going to automatically go that way. Our brain is always going to look for threats. So it's on you to ask the right questions, to push yourself down the path that you know you want to go down. If you want to start a business, if you want to start a side hustle to bring in additional income, if you want to start your passion project, the voice that is going to lead you first is based in fear. Oh, my gosh. What if people judge me? What if it doesn't work out? What if I lose money doing this? What if I invest in this thing and it ends up not giving me what I want and all that money's gone? Honestly, so fucking what? So what if you lose money in an investment? So what if you have money that goes into something that doesn't give you the ROI that you're thinking of? Like, you've got to release so much pressure from everything needing to work out exactly how you're envisioning it. And you also need to focus on the positive potential. Not every single thing and path that you're going to take is going to come out 110%. That's not necessarily what I'm saying. But if you continue to just look out for all of the things that could go wrong for the sake of trying to protect yourself and rationalizing your next move, you're never gonna make the next jump. You're never gonna take the risk that you need to take in order to see what's on the other side. Everything that you are desiring is on the other side of fear. Fear is the thing that is holding you back from becoming that version of you and having everything that you want to have. You need to realize the way that fear is holding you back. Frankly, who gives a crap what people think of the side hustle that you start? Who gives a crap if it doesn't work out the way that you're envisioning it? It's all about taking that action. It's all about moving in the direction of the desires that you have and following the things that you know you want to do. And I'm going to let you in on a little secret here. Anybody that you see that has gone after their dreams or done something cool or accomplished what you are wanting to accomplish, they have just felt the fear and they've done it anyway. It's not like these people have reached some level of confidence that they have no limiting beliefs and no self doubt. That's not it. They have all felt the fear and they've done it anyway. I wake up scared shitless some days about my goals and my plans and is it all gonna come together and is it gonna work and you just gotta move through it. You just have to feel the fear and, and do it anyway. What you can work on is a level of self confidence in yourself where no matter what the outcome is, you're going to be just fine. Living in this belief in yourself that everything is figureoutable. When you know that that is true for you and that you're going to figure out whatever, whenever, no matter the outcome, that is the confidence that you can lean into that can help you move through that fear for sure. But don't think that the fear is not still there. Don't think that the self doubt and the limiting beliefs aren't there. Don't think that people that have gone after their dreams have just figured out how to not have those things and then they've moved forward. Absolutely not. The fear is always going to be there. And when you reach new levels and new goals, guess what? That fear shows back up. Because now there's more on the line. Now the investment's bigger, now the job hump is more important. Like wherever you're at that fear, fear is there. The skill of being able to identify that it is fear speaking, that is a skill to hone in on. Because when you can identify that it is fear that you are hearing and you can choose to thank it for trying to keep you safe, but move through it and do the thing anyway, that is where magic happens. That is where you get to become a version of yourself that you didn't even know existed. Because when you move through the fear, you find a new you. When you move through the fear, you build self trust, you build self confidence in yourself. Because you know you're gonna figure out whatever is on the other side and no matter what it is, you are going to be okay. And so let's talk about some other ways that having financial fear might show up for you in your life. It could be completely avoiding financial decisions altogether, kicking the can down the road, not worrying about it, not opening up your bank account, not starting that investment journey, not opening that high yield savings account, not opening up your 401k or your Roth, not doing anything financially is fear. You're afraid of whatever the outcome is. Maybe you don't trust yourself to make the right decisions. Maybe there's not enough financial education there to know what the right next step, next step is. And so there's fear there, holding you back from doing anything with your finances. And we know that avoiding your finances is hands down not the way to accomplish your financial goals. Anything that you avoid, you're obviously not going to make traction in and you're not going to make progress in. So that's not a beneficial thing that fear is doing for you. Another way that fear could show up for you is obsessively saving for things, obsessively holding and holding, hoarding your money in your account because you're afraid to spend it, because what if there's no more? What if the, the funds dry up? What if the income cuts off? Right? Maybe something has happened in your life where funds have been scarce before and so you're just panicked and you're afraid that you're going to find yourself in that situation again. There is a level of safety that you can create with your finances where you know you're covered. If, if emergencies come up, if you get impacted by layoffs, if you want to quit a job, that is just not the vibe anymore. It's toxic. It's not making you feel good. When you go into work, there is a level of support that you can provide for yourself. But obsessively saving and not spending money on things that make you happy and bring you joy and light you up and give you the experiences that you want, that is fear. There you are holding and hoarding your money and you are really operating in a scarcity mindset in that because you're not moving your money in a way that makes you feel good and lights you up. The reason it's so important to figure out how fear is showing up for you with your finances is because it can have such a major impact on how you are living your life. It can hold you back from financial goals. It can hold you back from reaching financial retirement. It can hold you back from just living life authentically and living in alignment with the best version of you. You could stay in jobs you know that you are overqualified for. You could stay in jobs that aren't supporting you financially. You could stay in jobs that are hostile or toxic, and those aren't good. You don't need to be doing that to yourself. You could find yourself staying in relationships that are toxic or abusive or not supportive because you don't know where to go next and you don't know how to change your finances to get yourself out of that situation. On the other side of it, if you are afraid of investing in yourself and afraid of investing in your future, of putting money into things that are going to support you in your retirement or into bigger goals that you're working towards, you're going to miss out on a lot of opportunity for growth and being able to just experience freedom. If you don't work through those fears and start to do things differently with your finances than what you're currently doing with them. I think something that's really common that could come up when you're thinking about investing in yourself or what to do with your money is just having to put all this pressure on yourself to know what the exact right next thing is. I know I personally felt this pressure a lot when I started to have this abundance of money in my bank account and I just didn't know what to do with it. I didn't have any financial education around investment strategies or, you know, what it would look like to start opening up a 401k and an IRA and a brokerage account and investing in real estate. Like there was definitely just a lack of. I don't know what the best option is. And so I think there's a lot of pressure that we put on ourselves to make the exact right next step. How am I the most efficient with this money? How do I make the most impact with this next step? And while I think it's a good question and why you definitely want to be strategic strategic with your finances, what you've got to be careful of here is just that over analysis the paralysis that comes with thinking that there is a perfect next step. There isn't necessarily a perfect answer for what you should be doing with your finances. It's more so about taking action in that direction. You've got to understand that everything compounds on each other. And so even if you make a move that is a loss or a fail, it's not actually if you just look at it as an opportunity to learn and grow. We have so much time on this earth to learn and make pivots and changes and anything that you do is an opportunity to learn and grow. And so I would just encourage you to just not put so much pressure on what needs to be next. And if you do make a mistake, if you do misstep, quote unquote. I'm putting quote unquote around these here because I truly don't believe there is ever a misstep. Everything is guiding you in that direction for a reason, for an opportunity to learn and grow and become the version of you that you are supposed to become through those lessons. Then just understand that that is where the growth comes from. That is where you get to become that version of you. And everything is figureoutable, as we said. And so just move. Just make some move. If you're feeling called to do whatever it is when it comes to your finances, just trust that that's for a purpose. And even if it doesn't work out, it probably will work out in a way that you maybe can't see right then. But it'll give you something. I promise something positive will come, even if it doesn't feel like it. Listen, the reason I feel so passionately about this idea of fear and the way it shows up and controls us and controls the decisions that you decide to make in your life and whether you go for it or you don't go for it, is because I don't want you to get to the end of the year. I don't want you to get to the end of your life and look back and think, wow, I wonder what my life would have looked like if I would have just went for it. If I would have felt the fear and if I would have done it anyway. If I would have trusted and believed in myself that everything is figureoutable and that the desires that I have are leading me towards something and leading me towards a really incredible, fulfilling life. If I would have just felt the fear and done it anyway. I don't want you to look at the goals that you've set for 2025 and let those little voices creep up that sound reasonable and they sound logical and it sounds like it's all rational because it's not. The fear that you are feeling is probably not rational. Let's be real. And I want you to accomplish your goals this year. I want you to look back at the end of 2025 and I want you to look back at the end of your life and be like, yeah, I went for it and I am so proud of myself. That is what I wish for you this year in 2025 is just to go for your dreams and know that you are going to figure it all out. That is all I have for this episode. If you can think of anybody that would benefit from this episode, anybody that needs a little motiv, anybody that you think fear is stepping in their way, go ahead and send this to a friend, send this to a colleague, send this to a family member and share. Busy getting better with somebody that you think would benefit from it. And I will see you on the next episode. Bye, babe.