The Most Valuable 20 Minutes of Free Copy Coaching You'll Ever Get (3 Full Teardowns)

Inside this video, we're gonna do one of my favorite things to do, which is actually reviewing copy, specifically your copy as viewers on this channel. If you guys don't know, down in the link below, you could sign up onto my email list and you'll get access to this training document on here, which is really quite powerful. It has pretty much every single training video that I've done on this channel, including this little thing right here where I will review your copy for free. If you are not scared and you actually want to get feedback and improve, you can submit it on this form and I will do it. So that's what we're gonna do today. I have actually 3 different pieces of copy that I'm gonna review, and I find that this is really, really helpful. And one of the best ways to get better is just to look at real concrete tangible examples. So let's go through it. The first one is from Victor here, and this is for a, uh, Brain Song advertorial. Now I've looked a little bit at some of these, uh, but a lot of what you're gonna see is just my raw thoughts. So maybe pausing and starting the video over, but, uh, we're gonna start by going through it and I'll just narrate my, my thoughts. Okay, so this is the Brain Song. Activate your brainwaves for a sharper, healthier mind. This is cool. This is not really his writing, but I definitely know this headline could be a lot stronger. I always like to use copy blocks. There's a video on my page around copy blocks. It's very, very helpful for headlines. This is obviously just an AI headline with this colon here. But activate your brainwaves for a sharper, healthier mind. So activate your brainwaves is kind of the mechanism, but it's pretty weak. And a sharper, healthier mind is kind of weak in terms of the promise. And this right here is just doing nothing. So there's no proof in here. There's no real curiosity in terms of mechanism or just actual curiosity. I think the benefit could be a lot stronger and there's types of constraints in there as well. The other thing I see in here too is like BDNF is like nice. It may not be that interesting. There may be another molecule or nickname that you could give to it that would make it stronger. And I think a little more connection around healthy communication between brain cells to really help me, give me a concrete metaphor to understand how that connection makes me actually smarter. How the gamma brainwaves actually do it. And then proof from scientists or stuff like this. And maybe a percentage of how much more it could activate, which I think would be really powerful. So let's see. And again, this is not the— it's not completely novel. Like, other things like this exist. So, um, and 12 minutes honestly could be long. I don't know what this is. 7-second brainwave experience on the top. So a lot of these are really common in the manifestation and astrology niche, but this is looking like it's for people who wanna regain memory and mental clarity. So I'd probably put like an old person on here or, you know, memory is a really protected category. So you gotta be careful about your claims, but it just doesn't really sing or, or read out to me like this is specifically for seniors. And again, I know this is not even the page, I just can't help myself but review it. We'll look at the advertorial in a second. 17-minute is not right. Should be 12. So one of the first things in here that's really important, you know, by the way, this is smart to have all these things in here, but if you say the new enemy is neurotoxins, you want to be careful with that because I don't think a song is going to clean toxins from my brain. So you want to make sure these things are really, really congruent, because visually or mechanically, I can't really envision or imagine how a song is going to clear out toxins in my brain. So I would be trying to say that toxins are not the problem, it's actually dormant BDNF, or just ignore the idea of that as well. Thumb ritual is interesting. I think there's probably a better characterization, but characterizations are hard, so There's that. Okay, what I like is that all of these are— all of these are very— you know, the problem people make with advertorials is that they they kind of make them like a soup. They don't really have a clear identity, whereas these seem to have a clear identity, which is pretty nice. So let's look at this. Story-driven advertorial. Kind of looks more like an authority one, but let's see anyways. Yeah, this kind of seems like a breaking news authority than story-driven, but you want to pay attention. A breakthrough in China. People have connotations about China, you know, it's fine and it can be smart, but people think, you know, Americans have connotations like, you know, maybe China's cheap or things like that. Like, you know, you want to just pay attention to culture. Like Japan to me seems more reliable from a scientific perspective than China, right? Even though there's probably better Chinese scientists anyways than Japanese. I'm just saying like the way that people understand things in their minds. Um, Yeah, it should be shorter. I think like make it even shorter. Like discover just how a couple, a few couple minutes of this specific frequency or audio, there may be a way to make this more interesting, can reactivate the memory protein after 50. That makes sense. And this, I would change it to like, you know, a breakthrough like from top prestigious, you know, China or revealed this. I think the opening could be a little stronger. It's not bad and the writing is pretty good. The emotion here, I think you could probably do one more paragraph of emotion because there's a lot of emotion around like it's basically death before death. It's existential to lose your memory and I think you could probably inject a little more emotion right there. I think right here I would set the open loop stronger. What I discovered changed everything I knew about age-related memory loss. Kind of hit the promises again and going deep into it. And then, then you can hit the— then you can, because this is like going into their pain, but they really want to understand the breakthrough because that's what you promised them. So if you're going to do an open loop, I'd make it stronger right here. The other thing that's not super congruent is like it's not a story-driven advertorial really, because it's like you're basically saying that there's a new breakthrough that they discovered, a specific type of whatever came into it. It doesn't really make sense that like this random guy went and read 200 studies and then discovered the breakthrough. It's like a breakthrough should be so big that everyone hears about it. He's just reporting on the breakthrough. So there's still a lack of congruency, which is a really common thing with advertorials. A story-driven one needs to be just story-driven, emotional, or it needs to be breaking news. It's breaking news. So one thing is, if once you introduce, uh, you kind of give away the reveal of like the memory protein, some people are going to hear— if they know of BDNF, and you know, some people will, a lot of people won't, but some people will, they're gonna tune out 'cause they're like, oh, I heard this before. So you want to do, always use a trick where it's like, and that's where I first heard about BDNF, right? And I'll be like, now you might have heard of BDNF, but trust me, what I'm about to tell you about it is something nobody's ever heard before. That one little move just kind of allows, gives people permission to keep reading. They already think they know it. I don't think most doctors do recommend supplements. Maybe talk about why pharmaceuticals don't actually work, and maybe more of a conspiracy or a reason why nobody's solving this problem if it is the problem. Or it's either people don't know this is the problem, or they do know this problem and they're just not refusing to fix it, or or something else. I also think it needs to be clear, like, like I need a visual for like what BDNF does. I like the idea of it's like fertilizer, like there's more of this you have, the more the neurons just get to spring up like these crazy clusters of trees and just become super smart, you know. Yeah, smart. And so that's what you want to do. I hate when advertorial subheadlines are just weak like this, like This is such good real estate and it's like changed everything is just like the most low-level open loop. Like, let's make that better. There's, you know, the breakthrough discovery from, you know, this dangerous lab in China that there's so much interesting things that you could do. 2021 is kind of like old. And the question is like, well, why, like, just like a random guy 4 weeks, I'd look at this from China and it's this old paper, but people have been trying to study it. Like, there's some questions that are gonna be raised that nobody's really talking about here. I mean, the writing is good. I think the reading level is a little high. Not egregiously so, but it's probably like a 7 or an 8. Let's see. What the hell? Oh. Copy and pasting is not allowed. Yeah, it looks a little bit high reading level. Not bad, and it does read— it does flow well. So, like, independent replicate, nobody knows what that is. Just, you can do it a lot simpler. It's a little long. I think we make this shorter. I don't know where you got the 17 minutes from because this says 7 seconds and this also says 12 minutes. 17 minutes is long. A lot of people won't, won't do it. I mean, this is pretty good. The proof is good, but you don't need that much. It's like, this is going to confuse people. You're talking to people who are struggling with memory and cognitive decline. Like, it's too much science, to be honest. So just make it simpler. I like to have one big landmark study and then just like a couple other like rapid-fire studies to just make it feel like it's a big kind of thing. And you've already covered some of this, so I'd be like simplifying a lot of it. It's pretty long. How long is this thing? Yeah, this is probably like twice as long as it needs to be. I'd say 2,000 words, 1,000 to 2,000 words at most. And I want more emotion, you know, like What happens when you do it? What's it like to like get your life back? Like you, you told me the result but not the emotion behind it. So those are some of the things there. I'm going to move on to some of these other ones to look at, but hopefully that's, that's helpful. And for anyone watching this, I hope there's some good lessons that you got from there. Let's look at this. This is an email review, I believe. So when I'm looking at something, the first thing I like to do is just ask myself, what is, what is the point of this? What's the essence of what's being said here? And it really is like there's one question that you need to ask about every post, which is if the right person sees this, where do they go next? That's it. Then it kind of like migrates into like, like front end versus back end, which I understand is kind of the same idea, but It's still a little disconnected. Like, the main idea is like there's one question you need to ask about every single time that you post in order to make the most money. And I would like— if that's the core idea, I would start that up here, right? The one question that, that makes, that makes, that makes you have content that makes money, stuff like that. You know, today, and then today I made $5,000. Today, you know, yesterday I made $5,000 from a single post that I wrote. That means someone did blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, which is crazy to me because 2 years ago I was struggling to hit $5K an entire month, even though I was posting more. It all comes down to one question. If a person, right person sees this, where do they go next? And it's like, this is good. It's just kind of like AI. Fluff, that's just traffic. It scrolls past, it doesn't pay you. I was like, just get concrete with it. Like, what does it look like to have a post with no monetization path versus a post that does and how important that is? So overall, I think it's good. It's a little AI-y and I think the opening is a little weak and I think it's not really clear on what the email is. The email is one question, one question to answer. That's the monetization one. But you know, there's some good lines in it too. So overall I think pretty solid. And let's look at this one, an urban pet survival landing page. You know, this kind of like open— this is okay. Just wonder if like people really want to buy this. Like, I don't actually know what the— I how big the pain point is. It's gonna make it harder, obviously. 72-hour survival plan. Maybe there's a more interesting way to express the 72-hour survival plan, make it seem easy to do. I think maybe being more concrete and specific here. It's just like we need to be just be a lot more— make sure like this is real, you know. I think we have to do some time to make sure people like understand how important this is. These are very wordy, which is not good for bullets. It's probably like 10th grade or something. Yeah, 15th grade. It's like super wordy. But like, I feel like, can we make this a lot simpler? Like 72 hours, like how to prepare it in 1 hour. You know, and if even if, even if the full program is 72, it's like, what, what's the most simple things they can do in 1 hour, 60 minutes, you know, of things to do, stuff you got to buy. I think making the bullets, I mean, this is what they're buying, and this is like very— it's more about deliverables they'll get versus information. It's like they want just a really simple concrete plan. It's not like they really want to learn. These are more like learning bullets for versus like deliverable bullets. And they're also hard to read. Maybe making this like simpler and shorter. I think we can make the headline stronger, make this a little more concrete and probably a better lead. I would test some different leads on there and then just, you know, kind of wonder how much this thing would ever be able to scale. But those are the main feedback on that. So that's everything. I highly encourage you guys, if you watch these, like I think looking at ad copy reviews and seeing is one of the best ways to, to learn and get better. Um, so I highly encourage you to one, you know, download the, the videos, uh, trainings on here by going in the link below and then also submitting copy for free. You can submit as much as you want and I'll continue to do more of these. Let me know in the comments below if this was helpful and anything else that you want me to cover on this channel. Peace.