The Most Valuable 38 Minutes for Any Copywriter (Breaking Down YOUR Copy)

Yo, what's going on, everyone? So in this video, I'm going to be reviewing your copy that you submitted. And if you want to get your copy reviewed, all you got to do is there's some link down below. You click that you can opt into some of the stuff that I have, and you'll see a submission form on there where you can submit your copy, and I will review it on this channel. So without any further ado, let's hop in and take a look at this copy. Okay, so let's give a little bit of context. By the way, I believe this is from Cole. And this is basically, this is a sales page I wrote for a client that I'm working with. He's a communication coach and has a YouTube channel of 250,000. He's got loads of courses and has been in the game a long time, but never worked with the market or copywriter. This sales page is for a school community. Plus, new course includes access to all his previous courses. All his traffic comes from Pli Organic. This new course is Quantum communication. Cool. So we'll check this out on here. I've looked at this a little bit in the past, but I'm going to be kind of going through, giving my raw, unfiltered thoughts. One thing I will say as a little bit of extra commentary is by far, I think the way that I got good at copy was watching a copywriter break down his own copy that, you know, he or she did and explaining why they made the decisions that they did and having someone watching people Chief copy so videos like this. And I think the reason why is because you get to really see all levels of the thinking. And that's one. One thing that you miss a lot when you're just trying to look at, like, you know, how do I write copy? You know, in terms of, like, the words. Because when it comes to copy, there's so many things that you're balancing. You're balancing like the big idea and the mechanism and the zeitgeist. You're balancing. So that's like, what's going on in the market? Then you're balancing, like, who are you talking to? Who exactly is the prospect? Then you're dealing with, like, what's the overall strategy? What's the approach? What's the positioning? Then you're dealing with the structure of the page, the format of the page. There's so many different variables that you look at when you're doing copy. So I'm just going to give you guys the raw unfiltered bit. And I promise you, if you watch a lot of these videos, you're going to improve your thinking, which in turn is going to improve your copy. So let's check this out on here. Okay, so one of the first things that I'm going to do when I'm looking at a page like this, I'm always going to start with the highest leverage stuff. So this is going to be the mechanism, the big idea. This is going to be making sure the strategy is sound, making sure that the actual, like, format that they're using so that the type of page that they're using makes sense. Then I'll look at other things like the headline and the opening. This is like the highest leverage piece of copy you have. Mostly because it's just most people are going to look at this. And so since most eyeballs are on here, this is the chance that we have to, to really grab people. Okay, so the first thing that I'm trying to think of is, you know, are we correctly communicating? Are we being clear? And are we correctly communicating the exact thing that people want to get? So this is stand up for yourself at work, easily shut down toxic co workers and be highly respected with this exclusive and extremely persuasive communication style. Okay, if you guys watch copy blocks, one of the ways that I always look at headlines is to think about copy blocks, right? So if you remember, coffee blocks are basically. There's a video on this page which a lot of people really like, but that's basically proof. Promise, pain, constraints, curiosity and conditions. Proof is basically, why should I believe you? There's many types of proof. Okay, for that one, we'll use blue. Promise is basically, what's the main thing that you're going to give me? The outcome, the benefits, the features, those sorts of things. Pain is what am I getting away from. Constraints is what are the objections that I would have. It goes a little bit deeper than objections. Objections usually refer to like doubt about the product itself or about the person selling the product. Constraints is more encompassing in the sense that it also incorporates doubts people have about themselves and resistance. So like anything you do, people are thinking, they're doing the calculation in their mind. Like, how much time is this gonna take? How much effort is this gonna take? How much money is this gonna cost me? That would be a constraint. And then there's also limiting beliefs, like, if I believe naturally that I'm an introvert and I'm able to communicate well, that may be one of the things that you want to address as well as Actual objections about the product itself. Okay, so we call that constraints. Curiosity is basically the vehicle. Oftentimes it's the mechanism. This is how are you going to get me from pain to promise? This is where you put in your novelty, the newness, the new idea, things like that. And the last one is conditions, which I don't believe we talked about a ton in that video. Conditions are things like urgency, scarcity, qualifications, calling out who the audience is, sort of some of the extra stuff on there, right? Is it free or what's the cost, discounts, things like that. If I were to go into here and sort of color code this. Let's take a look at what that would look like. Okay, so this part is obviously the proof communication expert who's helped. This teaches you how to. These are our promises. This right here, that's our curiosity, right? That's the vehicle. Never feel overlooked or invisible at work again. Here we're hitting some of the pain points, social proof and brand logos. This is where you would add more proof. If you don't know how to communicate, you'll never control your life. And if you don't, someone else will. This is a mixture of pain. And I'm going to put a little bit of conditions on here because it's adding a little bit of the urgency. Right, which you get from conditions. So looking at this headline, it's pretty good in terms of the types of copy blocks that we have. Obviously one thing that we're missing are constraints. Again, you don't need every copy blocks in the headline, but it's a. It's a really good checklist to make sure that you're hitting a lot of the right points. So that may be one thing that we need to put on here. So if you're looking at copy, one of the first things you can do is you can say add new copy blocks. The other thing you can say is make copy blocks stronger. And these are not the. It's not the only thing that goes wrong with copy. Like I said, copy is very. Marketing in general has so many layers to it. But for a lot of copy, you can go very, very far by just asking yourself, do we have all our copy blocks and can we make our copy blocks stronger? If you do that consistently from the headline through the rest of the copy, chances are you're going to have a stronger page by the end of it. So when I look at this, obviously we're missing constraints, but I think the biggest opportunity is right here. Actually, it's, it's both of these so let me explain. So first is stand up for yourself at work, easily shut down toxic coworkers and be highly respected. So the first thing I want to ask myself is, are these the exact promises that they want? Are we talking about promises at the right level and are we using the, the right language that is their specific language and is concrete, visual enough that it's going to grab them? Okay, so what do I mean by that? So the first thing is, are these the right promises? Okay, so standing up for yourself at work, easily shutting down toxic co workers and being highly respected. We want to make sure this is accurate. Accuracy is super, super key. So are we promising the right thing? The other element is, are we at the right level? So a lot of times you'll hear things like features and benefits and benefits of the benefits and outcomes, et cetera, et cetera, really what you want to think about. We in Genesis, in our main copy program and in our philosophy, we have specific names for the types of levels of promises that you make. But you want to be really clear about, you know, what you're promising people. So stand up for yourself at work, easily shut down toxic coworkers and be highly respectful. Respected is kind of like at this benefit level. Okay, so what it makes me think is, are we correctly communicating why they would want that? Right? Like why would somebody want to stand up for themselves at work or be highly respected? Is it because they want to, they want to get out of the pain that they're in, Right? In which case they're pretty beat down. So this would be this part, right? Easily shut down toxic co workers. That's more of like the pain. Are they trying to get away from the pain? Are they trying to get and achieve something right? Are they trying to basically move up in life? Are they trying to climb the corporate ladder? Are they trying to get a management role? Are they trying to make more money? What exactly is the driving motivating force? Because even though all of these things like this is by no means bad, by the way, this is actually pretty, pretty solid. I'm just looking for how do we make this a lot stronger. And one of the biggest things that you'll see whenever I give copy feedback, even for myself, I make this mistake is that you just make assumptions and you're not clear and you're not precise. So a lot of copy is just getting really, really clear because we write words that are sort of close enough, we're like, ah, that's like in the right range. But when you really reflect and you're really thinking specifically about who you're talking to, you'll notice that there's actually a big gap. So somebody who, who is worried about like, oh my God, I'm getting bullied at work. Right. With toxic coworkers is probably a very different person than the person who's super ambitious, who just wants to be an effective communicator and, you know, master reality with their words or communicate persuasively and convince people of things. One of them is trying to get away from a pain, the other one is trying to get to a promise. Is there an overlap on that group? I absolutely do. People probably experience both of those. Absolutely. So can you talk to them? Yes, you can. However, it's going to be way better if you get crystal clear about who you want primarily as your customer. Right. And how you're going to talk to them. So my assumption, and of course I shut this down. So let me go back and look real quick. By the way, I know that I'm, I'm going pretty slow and a little bit all over the place talking about my different ideas. Let me know if you like this. I know this is a little more unpolished style as I sort of like narrate my thought process. Let me know in the comments below if this is good because I'll keep making more of these videos like this. Okay, so one thing is, let's go back and look at the strategy. Right. So this is a sales page I wrote for a client. He's a communication coach. He's got a big YouTube channel, loads of courses, been in the game for a long time, never worked the market. Copywriter. This is for a school community. Plus new course access to all of his previous courses. It helps business professionals, managers, master communication, stand up for themselves, get promotions and progress in their career. So one thing I'm looking for that I don't see on here that would be really important is what's the end goal? Right? The end goal is just to get people into school and have that be the primary revenue generator. That's fine, that's one thing. But usually, and what I would recommend is that you're trying to get people into school, which is a certain level, and then you're trying to sell a smaller segment of that higher and higher price items. Right? That's typically what you do. That's how you ascend things, get your LTV up so that you're able to spend more to get customers and just make more money overall. Right. So most of the money was probably not going to be made in the school group, is going to be made later down the funnel. So you want to be thinking about in the meantime, do I want, what kind of people do I want to get into my school group? Right, because you could put a lot of people in there, but then you can have trouble trying to ascend those people. Right. And creating a bad culture in that group so you're not getting the right people. Or, you know, you could be more narrow and get a smaller amount of people in the school group, but they ascend a lot more. Okay. And typically, once you know what your back end is, once you know what you're actually trying to get and optimize for, it makes you a little bit more exclusive on the front end, which means we can talk to a very specific subset. Sure, other people will filter in and come into the school group, but we can talk to a different demographic. And so what I mean by that is, you know, somebody who's really worried about shutting down toxic co workers or getting bullied is probably going to be less likely to ascend than someone who's really ambitious and focusing on trying to get a promotion and make more money. Again, is there overlap between those two? Absolutely. Am I generalizing and stereotyping? Absolutely. But in general, someone who's more ambitious and trying to get to something first, run away from a pain, is going to likely have more money, have more, have higher income, and be a better customer in the long term. Okay, that is a generalization. But that's what we do inside of marketing. So that's where the first thing I'm going to look at is in these promises. Right? So we already covered, like, are these the exact promises? Again, that's a question that you discover by doing your, your research, being very careful. Next thing we looked at is like, are we looking at the, the right level of the promise? Okay, so what that would mean is like, what is the main outcome? So if it's like I want to be highly respected, cool. But really what do I want? It's like I want to get my promote, I want to get promoted, right. Or I want to get a raise, or I want to progress to the next stage in my career. So what I would do typically is I would try to call out and speak to something about the longer term outcome. Because these are sort of like bridges, right? So in their mind, they're basically saying they have this little thing going on. If respected, then promotion. So you're, and then you're basically coming in and you're saying this will get you Respected. And you're basically requiring them to do this math and this translation of oh, respected equals promotion, which some of them will do. But it's way better to just call out the main thing that they want. Right? That way they don't have to do the math in their head. They don't have to like think through these things. And there are many people who just want the promotion and maybe don't even have the insight in their mind that, oh, if I get, if I get respected, then I'll get my promotion. Right. They may not even see that as the main path or the main obstacle or problem that you have. So you're actually narrowing the people that you talk to. Okay, Again, I'm giving you more questions than I am answers because this is, you need to really like dive in to make sure you understand what your strategy is. You need to make sure you understand who you're talking to, who you want to talk to, etc. Etc. So I'm giving you more questions than answers. I'm not going to come here and solve all this. I'm just saying if I were to do this project, these are the things I'd be trying to figure out to determine what I'm putting in my headline. Okay. And again, we're only going through the headline, but hopefully you can see these lessons are going to apply to everything else that we cover. Okay, so the next thing is that you want to use the specific language. Okay. This just means are they actually saying stand up for myself at work? Do they say things like toxic co workers or they, they talk about, you know, how do they describe the co workers on mass. Right, so you want to use the really precise language. Again, that's something that you discover in your, in your marketing. Okay, cool. The next thing is with this exclusive and extremely persuasive communication style. So this is our, our curiosity element right? Now curiosity elements are really important. These are the, this is the bridge. Right? So this is how we go from pain to pleasure. And there's an art to doing this because when you're coming up with curiosity elements, you need them to be. I always, I use this acronym, SIN Okay. So you want them to be simple, intuitive and new. Okay. So you know, there's other elements of course that are involved in there. But simple just means like it's easy to understand. Intuitive mean it's, it's connecting to my intuition about the way the world works. Right. It's sort of evocative, but. Right. It's giving me some sort of idea. It's Curiosity invoking. And it's also new, Right. It's something that is. Is inspiring me. So when I look at this exclusive, it just seems kind of boring and flat. Okay. One of the tests you can say is like, could you say this about anything else besides your. Your marketing? Right. So typically, I only want to be talking about things that I can only say that is true about my product. Right. To some degree. If it could be applied to a wide swath of products, then it's probably not. I probably haven't done a good job. Right. So is there a lot of people who could say this is. This is a persuasive communication style? Yeah, absolutely. So typically that's for curiosity elements. You give some sort of name, like a characterization. So you could call this, like. Let me try to think of one. Okay. This is a really not great example, because I'm thinking on the fly, but something like the Fast Track Promotion System. Okay. So you can give it sort of a name. Okay. Now, the name that you give it, you want it to feel proprietary, right? So you give it a name, put it in quotes, call it a system or a methodology or something else like that, and then you want it to sort of evoke how it works. So Fast Track Promotion System evokes, hey, it's fast, it's systematic, right. It's going to get me my promotion. And this is like the. This is like the poetry of copy, because you're using words that have good connotations and metaphors and give people kind of a feeling, make them kind of think like, oh, I kind of understand what that is, but I'm curious, like, what exactly that would be. One book that I would recommend everyone read is this book Microscripts. The book covers a lot of different things, but one thing it'll show you how to do is how to create new categories plus become category of one. Okay. It'll show you some rules and some ideas for how to do this. So what I mean by this is a lot of times in marketing, if you really want to be. If you really want to be good, you just find something that you can be the most at the best at the only, the first. Okay, so these are these, like, yeah, if you be the the mostest, the bestest, the only est. The firstest in any category, it's better than just being in another category, even if the category is bullshit. Like, I've seen ads to be, like, recently. One guy's like, yeah, I'm the first copywriter who used X system in America right now. X system is some fucking thing that he made up. But I'm the first copywriter who used this system. Like, it's like it sounds. It sounds like you're something, right? Even though you just made up a category that doesn't really exist. There's another guy who was like, I'm the cockiest copywriter. And that was pretty good. It got people talking because it's like, who's really going to argue that you're the cockiest, right? You're becoming this catego category of one. You could say I'm the most autistic copywriter, right? Or I'm the only copywriter with sat background, which is probably not 100% true, but mostly true. Like for myself, I used to teach sat. So there's ways that you can become the mostest or the only ist and become a category of one. And that also comes into play for when you're trying to create this curiosity element. Obviously there's a lot that goes into it. So you can actually below we have a product that's literally 27. The YouTube video that I cover on CopyVlox will go into this. And then the thing that I linked below, you know, if the, if the video I gave you is like elementary and middle school, then the one I posted below is like high school and college and maybe a little bit of postgrad. It goes very, very deep, especially on curiosity elements. Stuff that I've never really heard anyone talk about because I'm the only copywriter who uses copyblocks, who made copyblocks, right? So that'll help you to figure out how to create this curiosity element on here. Because exclusive and extremely persuasive doesn't mean anything. Like it's. It's just filler words and communication style is like, I don't know, it's just. There's nothing unique about this. And look at all the real estate it's taking up. This, this is just such a big area of improvement. Feeling overlooked or invisible at work again, again, this connects to want to make sure it's the specific pain of the audience that you're talking to here we have communication experts who's help working professionals. This is good, but you know, it's better than nothing. I just think there's probably a way to present this proof. All you're saying is I've worked with a lot of people. You're not talking about any outcome or any results that you've gotten to people. You're not giving yourself any sort of proprietary cred. There's A lot of ways that we could beef this up. And again, typically, you know, if the headline is not super clear and is lacking pieces, that tells me there's a lot that's going to be needed to add a little bit later on. All right, so let's start with this. This is what I call the opening, all right? It's not always clear where it is, so you can call it the opening. In Genesis or in our programs, we call these micro leads. These are really important. These are basically attention devices that hook people, hook and engage people. I have a list inside of Genesis. We have AI bots that will write these. We have a list of, I think like 58 different rhetorical frames or hooks or micro leads. We have bots that will write micro leads. Thing with these is like, they're actually very formulaic. For example, pop quiz. What is the, you know, number one reason why people actually get promoted? Is it because they do a good job? Is it because they do this, because they do that, that gets people's attention? Or you could say, why is it that, you know, here, here's. Here are two guys, they do everything the same, they work the same, yet one guy got promoted, the other guy didn't. Why? What made the difference? Well, it's because of communication style, right? That would be an example of a paradoxical question. You could do another one which is like, you know, take. Take a look at this, Take a look at this microphone. It may seem completely unrelated, but if I told you that there's one microphone is actually the secret to making $30,000 job, you know, a year in your job, all the way up to $100,000, right? And it all comes down to exactly what's in this microphone. The reason why is because this microphone is an amplifier and you got to amplify your voice. Right? Now I'm just using an object metaphor as a hook. There's a bunch of different hooks, like I said, but there are proven ones that you just use over and over and over again, and they work pretty well. So this right here does have some sort of curiosity too. You've been lied to. You, me and the rest of the world, we were talking communication about speaking, listening, replying. But here's what this type of communication has led to. So it's good, it's kind of contrarian. It's the second person talking directly to them. My thing is, is I don't mind doing a second person. Sort of like, you feel like this, right? You feel like this. One thing I've noticed is especially with AI, when you have AI write copy, it really loves to default to sort of narrating the pain. And you'll see it, right? Like, you know, you wake up every morning at 2:47am and stare at the alarm and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? It kind of defaults to doing a lot of that, which tells me two things. One is that a lot of people are going to use it. So a lot of people will start tuning it out because they'll see it. And it tells me the reason AI is doing it, because AI is trained on human copywriting. And so if it's doing it a lot, it's probably because there was, there was an overrepresentation of that style when it got trained, which means it's sort of generic in a default that people go to. So we could probably do better by applying a little more attention and creativity and curiosity. Right? Because one thing you think about in copy, the way I think about it, is there are very high leverage things. Some of this stuff is bullshit. It doesn't matter. Like some, like, some, some people get crazy about the words like, oh my God, you got to use NLP and this and like so crazy about these like little words. And I'm like, that sentence literally doesn't matter. Like some sentences in copy are like, they're just everything is important. But there are some sentences that are like super, super small and important. They're just there to move the copy along and move the sale along, right? Yeah, you can make a big mistake and it can mess things up, but there are only a few places that are really, really critical. And your opening is a super important one as well as your headline and then your big idea and your mechanism and things like that. So I would rather, you know, we're humans, we have limited attention, limited energy. So if I'm going to put my attention and energy anywhere, I'm putting it on these really, really big key components first and foremost. And then I could be lazier on some of the other stuff because it's more boilerplate type of stuff anyway. It's not going to make a huge difference. And what I mean is like, yes, you can mess it up royally, but writing like, you know, some sentences and copy, it's like if I were to take it from a, a 7 to a 10, it's not going to make that much of a difference to me. Right. It's not going to increase my, my sales or my conversion rate that much. But if I change my opening, I've seen just changing the first Hundred words of copy lead to anywhere to like a 40 to 50% improvement. And there's many more examples of that. And that's 40 to 50% increase in conversion on something that is already scaling, which is huge. That's insane, right? Same thing with headlines, same thing with ads. Like, so you want to look at the highest leverage piece of copy is what I'm saying to. So we could spend more time being more creative and getting people in here. So you've been lied to. You mean the rest of the world. We're talking communication about speaking, listening and replying. So the other thing I think about second person openings like this is that you haven't, I don't know who you are and you haven't really built my trust and you haven't really built my rapport or any rapport with me. So when you just come out the gate telling me about how I feel and my pain and all of this stuff in there, there's a little bit of resistance, Right. Whereas if you do something that's a little bit more third person, like, pop quiz. Like, what is this? It doesn't feel like I need to be on the defense because you're trying to project an idea onto me. It just feels like you're sharing something. I'm a little more, you know, on the outside. You're kind of demonstrating something and it's starting to hook me. And then you get the permission to talk to me directly again. Are there many, many great examples of copy that start directly like this? Absolutely. I'm just sharing kind of my two cents about the feeling of this and some of the risks that can happen when you use this copy. I think it's probably just a disconnect in general for people, because if you're trying to get people who are ambitious and want a new promotion and things like that, you may just want to start with the direct promise, some kind of little hook, like I mentioned. But this sort of conspiratorial thing about you've been lied to. It can work. I use it in copy all the time. But you have to use it with the appropriate audience. Okay. The other thing I see that is kind of a no, no is just starting with a lot of numbers like this. Okay. One thing you've got to know is I think Olivy has a quote which is like, you know, your customer is not an idiot. It's your wife or something like that. Right. And that's basically him sort of responding to people saying, oh, you got to like your. Your customer's Dumb. You got to talk to your customer, Dom, et cetera, et cetera, right? And I think it's a good sentiment because you never want to talk down to people. You never want to insult people or think people are dumb. However, there is a truth because Another great marketer, Mr. P.T. barnum, says that, you know, you can never go broke by underestimating the, I don't know, something about you can't, like, don't underestimate the ignorance of the American public and things like that. And that's also true. The point is, when people are consuming your advertising, you do not have their full attention, okay? That's just, that's just the case. They're not trying. They have no reason. They're looking for a reason to leave your copy, not for a reason to read it. Okay? If it's a letter from a loved one confessing some sort of sin, right? They're going to have a lot of attention. And it doesn't matter if it's using 10th grade reading level. They're going to try to read it and understand what it is your marketing they want to dip. They don't care. Right? You have to make it easy for them. You have to eliminate the friction. And at the same time, a lot of people are not great readers. Okay? So that's why we write at a third grade reading level is people do not have a very high vocabulary on general or not great readers multiply that times the fact that they're not even really paying attention to you and they're looking for a reason to leave if you're making it too hard to consume the message. Okay? So this is why we use third grade reading level lower things and make things really easy for people to consume and to read. When you put in numbers, you know, we can talk about like illiteracy in general. With Americans, number illiteracy is insane, right? People do not like math. They don't like numbers. This makes people feel like, like I don't want to understand what this. Okay, so it's okay to use statistics and stats, use it later in the copy when they're already invested. If you're using it in the beginning, you're just creating a lot of friction for people, right? This is cool. One thing, you know, you do want to start paying attention to pretty much nothing burgers. Okay? This happens a lot with promises and things like that. Nothing burgers are not horrible, but when you start to stack them together, it just creates this sort of hollow, empty feeling in your copy. And you're, you're Getting rid of a lot of real estate so allows people to flip the script is a metaphor. Not only is it a metaphor, it's a cliche. So, like, there is a form of communication that's, you know, let's be specific. Allowing people to get promoted at their job, right? Or get promotions faster than co workers, right? Or gain the admiration of their bosses, right? So you can make this visual, you can make it concrete, you can make it specific. All those things really, really matter. So you want to, you know, you want to start to get an instinct for how to pay attention to this one thing that I like to do, like. And again, I get very obsessive about my copy, but it's why my copy converts so well, because I just. I care a lot and I put a lot of effort into it. So one thing that you could do, take this whole thing. So let's do it like this. Okay? So one thing I did here, I'm in po. This is great. Allows you to access a lot of different AI bots. We build a lot of our genesis bots in here, but I'm just using regular Claude Sonnet 4. And all I said was, please isolate every pain phrase and promise phrase. Talking about pain and talking about promises, like, allows people to flip a script and organize those in two separate lists. So what I'll do is, you know, you can do this after you write the copy, is you can go and you can pull all the pain phrases and all of the promise phrases from your own copy. Now, typically, depending on the market you're writing in, I would go and find three or four competitors who, you know, are doing well, and I basically tell them, tell AI to isolate all the pain and promise phrases from their copy, right? So three or four of them. Then I would say, hey, put all of these competitor pain phrases and promise phrases together into one list. And then you could ask AI or do it manually, get rid of all the nothing burger ones, because probably they're going to be some abstract stuff in there and just look for all the really specific good phrases. And you can say, tell AI like, hey, generate me, you know, more pain phrases and promise phrases like this, okay? Or you could put in your research, right? Scraping data from information or surveys and say, please extract the exact language. What you eventually do is you have a whole list of maybe 30 to 50 pain and 30 to 50 promise things that are in your market's language. It's working because it's working for competitors, and it's usually the best stuff. Now, all you can do manually or using AI, you can just say, hey, please swap out my pain phrases, my nothing burger ones, with the ones that are really, really good. And this is how you create really juicy copy, right? That it's resonating. So like this is good. Burning ball of anxiety in their stomach. That's visceral, that's concrete. Feel sick of the thought of going to work. That's good. A lot of people get promoted at their job. Take back control is okay, but it's kind of a nothing burger. And I'm just going to do an example. Okay, this is cool. Can you take all of these pain and promises phrases and convert them into something that is concrete, visual, visceral, using more emotionally charged language, stuff that would appeal to the target audience who this is for. It would make them feel like, oh my gosh, this person's talking about me. Okay, and this is cool. Like again, AI is such a powerful tool, but it, it's really the person who wields it, who knows these cop principles. And they will wheel it. Your stomach turns every Sunday night. Hands shake as you walk past your boss's office, praying they won't notice. You feel like a ghost haunting your own workspace every morning. Put on a mask of fake confidence that crumbles by lunchtime. Colleagues talk over you like your furniture. Useless, useful, but utterly forgettable. This is good, but it's still metaphorical. I need more specific, concrete, visceral, visual type stuff. Okay, some of those were good, but like I said, some of them were kind of like. Yeah, like this is way better. Okay, again, you want to make sure it's specific because AI is just guessing here. Pretty good at guessing usually. Yeah. So this is way, way better. Okay. And that's one thing that you want to start looking for on here. This is good. The only thing is like I. And I can kind of. I'm getting the sense because it's called quantum communication and stuff like this. You want to be thoughtful, right? So this whole idea about like quantum communication and sort of like manifesti type stuff can be a big turnoff. We call those ejection triggers. If you're talking to professional people who are like rational minded, as soon as you talk about that, they're going to start making judgments and they may bounce off the page and that may be fine because maybe you do want woo woo type people, people who are professional and woo woo, it's going to be a smaller market, but maybe you can serve them a lot better. So that's fine. You just, you don't want to do it blindly. Okay? And so one thing that you're doing is that you're just slipping this in here. Alter reality with your words. With no, under no context. You're not. You know, one of the best skills you can have in copy is to be able to predict what the reader is likely thinking as they read it. Now you can say almost anything in copy. Like, I mean, almost anything. Obviously there's limits, but you could say a lot of kind of fucked off stuff or stuff that might offend people or stuff that people may disagree with. As long as you have the self awareness to acknowledge and understand that that's where they're coming from. Okay? Because right now the way that people are going to experience this is they're going to be reading and be like, oh, this is one of those hippie dippy guys. I can't trust him anymore. Right? And they're going to leave the page now if you say alter reality with your words, don't worry, this isn't any sort of woo woo stuff. This is actually based in a lot of science. Okay? Although, you know, don't worry, this isn't completely woo woo stuff. It's actually based in a lot of science and you can get rid of it or whatever. Right now you're not dismissing people who do like the woo woo stuff and you're not dismissing people who would do the science stuff. You predicted their reaction and now they're like, okay, that actually builds a lot of rapport and connection when you can call those, those things out. Okay? But the fact that you're talking about alter reality with the words and quantum communication you need, you just be aware of what you're doing. Are you trying to push people away who don't believe in this? Are you trying to just attract people and then kind of in your product start to introduce these topics to them? You got to know what it is that you want to do. Okay, this is a subhead. So when I think of subheads. Subheads are tricky. They take a lot of work. People are pretty lazy with them. And it's okay, sometimes it works. But your subheads are doing a bunch of different things simultaneously. They're in the copy, which means it's a transition sentence from this sentence to this sentence. At the same time, people are scrolling and these are meant to pull them back in the copy. So we have to pull them back together. People also sometimes just read the subheads themselves. So the subheads themselves need to tell a story. And your subheads are like little mini headlines, which means they should have a lot of copy blocks. There should be a promise, there should be curiosity, there should be something in here like a mini headline that's going to pull people back into the copy. That's why it's hard to do, right, because you need, you need a sentence that's going to make sense here. You need a sentence that's going to pull people back in when they first read it. You need a sentence that's going to make sense when you read all of them together. And you got to make one that has the right coffee blocks and just, it feels juicy. Okay, so it's a lot, but obviously there's a lot more we could add on here. Now, Quantum communicator again, Quantum is one of those things AI loves to do. It loves to name everything. Quantum. That tells me exactly like I said before, a lot of people are going to start tuning out quantum because it's going to become saturated. And the reason why quantum is, is overrepresented is because humans have been doing it for a lot already, which means it's probably generic and we could probably do better. Okay. Quantum communication is like, Quantum has the association of woo woo. Mystic. Doesn't really, it doesn't really do a lot. I think there's, we could do a much stronger with it if we want to use Quantum, use quantum. But I think we can add something to it or modify it in a little bit to make it a lot stronger. The next thing I'm going to look at, I'm going to start to wrap this up in a little bit. Hopefully. This is, this is powerful and you can see there's so much, so many levels at which to look at this stuff. But next thing I'm going to look at is like the overall mechanism, like what is the, the thing you're telling me? And typically what I'm looking for is an insight or an epiphany. Okay. So your mechanism or your big idea needs to give me a reframe for how I see the world. Otherwise I think we can do it a lot stronger. So let's see what you say here. So I think we're kind of whiffed on what quantum communication is and why it's different. So it's more than speaking, listening and replying. It goes much deeper to universal personal and psychological level interaction, active listening, non verbal communication, body language and so much more. So this is okay because it's like, hey, this is bit more than having a conversation, Active listening, it's not super clear. So typically for a good mechanism or good insight or epiphany. You, you have to simplify a little bit, which is like, hey, it's not like this is, this is the way that everyone else sees the world. And my thing is new and it's different and it needs to be concrete and feel like I need to be able to get it instantly and feel like it's something new. Again, that's hard. That's. That's a lot of the skill, the marketers coming up with those ideas. This doesn't do it all the way because, you know, it's, it's better than nothing because we have an attempt at it. But basically it's just saying, hey, it's different than what you know, because it's different. It's a lot of these things and it's different than what you know. Okay, which is okay. But it's, it's. I would much rather you explain and show me what it is and then me be like, oh, that is different. Versus you just saying, hey, it's different. Trust me, like, buy my thing. It's different. Okay? So showing me an example and giving me an insight is going to be the most powerful thing that you could do here. And sometimes it's not always one insight. Sometimes it's a, it's a bundle of them, a bunch of them, which you could do with fascinations. But in general, I think we could come up with something a lot clearer here. This could be more specific. Again, I would look at this like a headline. Same thing with copy blocks. These are cool. Again, I would look at copy blocks on here. So create verbal power grids in any conversation about how difficult or high stakes it may be to remain control toward outcome that benefits you. So create verbal power grids in any conversation. This is curiosity element. I like this idea of verbal. Verbal power grids is actually really good. Like I would just put it like verbal power grids, it's a little abstract, so people may have trouble understanding what it is, but sometimes you can just have something blind. That's, that's cool. No matter how difficult or high stakes it may be, this is like constraints, which is a good job. Remaining control and steer towards an outcome that benefits you is your thing. But again, it's kind of a nothing burger. Right? An outcome that benefits you. Right. So I would say like how to use. So there's again, we can keep making this better. So like how to use. I would be looking for like a proof element. So you could say how to use Harvard backed or how to use NLP or how to use little known cognitive science hack called verbal power grids to quickly diffuse the most high stakes conversation. Create instant rapport that gets anyone to agree with you without them even knowing. Right. So again, this is already pretty good. I think we can just make it a little bit more stronger and just look visually appealing just by capitalizing and putting this on here, adding things like, proof, things like that. One other thing that I'm doing in a technique like this is this is coming down to constraints. So the what's the constraint of this is, ooh, if I'm trying to do this like weird power trick, people are going to know that I'm doing it and they're going to call me out on it and I'm going to get embarrassed. Right. For attempting to do something. Okay, what we're doing is we're distancing and we're putting all the blame and the responsibility on the mechanism. So you're using verbal power grids to diffuse the most high stakes and create, you're creating the verbal power grid is separate from you. That's creating rapport, which is even more separate from you. And the rapport is getting people to agree with you. And it happens without them even knowing. That creates a level of distance that creates a psychological safety that people want to buy from you. A lot of these are good. I would just again, look them through the lens of copyblocks and go through there. There's obviously some more copy that we could look on here. I'd probably want this to be a little bit higher up. So one thing that you're going to want, you know, typically is there's many ways to write a sales letter. Many of them do not follow a certain structure. But it's important to know if you're following the structure, if you're not following the structure and not to just kind of put words together. The structure really, really matters. Even my business partner who's done hundreds of millions of dollars for the sales, he said that for when he first started writing copy, he hated structure. He would just write things in whatever order. He's like stuff would not convert as much. And when he finally like surrendered and was like, okay, I'll write this in the right order, his stuff like shot through the roof. He started converting a lot more. So that's when he agreed, like, yes, having the right words and the right elements matter. But it's like, it's like baking or cooking, right? If you, you can have all the right ingredients in the right proportion, they can be the best. If you're cooking them in the wrong order or putting things in the wrong, the wrong order or stuff like that, it's just not going to come out right. Okay, so there are some proven flows and structures that I would just repeat all the time, which is like headline, microlead, lead background story, ump, which is mechanism of the problem. Ums, which is mechanism of the solution. You can just think of these as two different sections that are basically just your entire mechanism. So how does, what is the real nature of the problem and what therefore, what's the real nature of the solution? Product creation, which is sort of like building up, talking about testimonials or how you made the product. And then you go into your offer or your close, which is all the offer stuff, and then you go into FAQ and that's about the structure that you would follow. And then there's certain ratios of length of where you want to go. So like this typically, this first part is usually about 60% of your copy. And this is usually about 40% of your copy, just so you know. So most of your copy is actually in the close. This stuff is pretty boilerplate. Normally there's just a bunch of things you got to hit on there. Microlead is super short. This is maybe like 10%. This is maybe like 5%. This is maybe like 10 to 15%. What are we at 15, 30? And then this is, this is probably the, the beefiest section. And then this is probably like 10%. There just some rough ratios for you to understand it. Which is another reason why I would want to put your, the narrative or at least your credibility if you have a spokesperson. I probably want to put that a little bit higher up as well. Okay, you can have another about me section later down, but I would still put that higher up so they know who you are. All right, well, that is everything that I have for breaking down this sales page. If you found this helpful, leave a, like, leave a comment, subscribe and I'll do a lot more. And of course, if you, you fill in, you know, one of the links down here below, I'll be able to review your copy. I have a bunch more that's, that's coming out. Hopefully this is helpful. Like I said, I love doing these kinds of things and I love learning from these types of things because I find them to be the most valuable way to learn how to do really good copy. So if you want to see more of these, just let me know. Thanks so much.