0040: [ Part I ] How to Release Fear, Worry, and Doubt and Become The More Powerful You with International Mindset Coach, NLP Practitioner, Lifelong Motivational Speaker & 10th Degree Blackbelt P.J. Dixon

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Join Mario Ficcini for today's Expert Authority Effect interview.

Welcome Expert Authority Nation. We got another great episode for you. I am excited to bring up PJ Dixon from PJ's wisdom. Have you ever felt like you're alone? Have you ever felt like you can't do something? Have you ever felt like you have a dream and you want to go after it? Well, PJ is the epitome of perseverance. I met him a few years ago ago at a conference and I'm telling you I'm very honored and privileged to have him on the show because the way he has inspired me personally, I can't wait for him to inspire you. He has overcome so much and he's going to share his story and he has such a heart and he is so relationship focused. He is so heart centric focused and he's a really cool guy. I'll bring him up right after we thank our sponsor.

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PJ, it is great to have you here. How are you feeling today?

Fantastic, brother. Super duper. Glad to be on the Expert Authority Effect interviews outstanding and it's really good to be in your presence again. I miss being with you in person.

As do I. We had some great times, didn't we?

Absolutely. You had a powerful impact on me right from the very first time I met you. You were just a class act all the way through. And I appreciate the influence that you've had on me throughout our friendship.

Well, I appreciate what you've done for me because there's been many times that you may have not even known it when you put something out. And I was watching you and I wasn't in a good place and I was just like, I'm going to keep going forward. So thank you.

Thank you, brother. That makes me feel like I'm doing something correct and right, you know, by everybody listening and by anybody else who might be impacted by the shift that happens in you or anybody else, you know.

And that's why I'm glad I have you here today because you do such a great job and you really are heart centric and making a difference in so many lives. What inspired you to start your business. What inspired you to get into this? I mean, there's so many things you could be doing. Why this?

So, you know, I'm. I'm a little disabled guy in a wheelchair, so most people may not be able to see I'm sitting in a wheelchair right now. I'm about 4ft tall. And I was only expected to live until I was seven. And this year I turned 50. So I've lived 43 years longer than I was supposed to. So I figure either I've got something amazing to do, or God's pissed and I have some karma to work off, which is probably the case. I'm probably in a little bit of trouble. So that aside, like, when I was seven, the Muscular Dystrophy association found me and put me on. Put me on stage and allowed me to go to fundraising events and talk to the different funders and the different people supporting the Muscular Dystrophy Association. And so I literally was raised on television and raised on stage and raised in front of boardrooms and raised at fundraising events and raised on radio programs. And so I was constantly. Probably three times a month, I was out speaking somewhere, at least. And so that was a great way for me to live. And then, as I grew up into an adult, I wanted to speak, but nobody ever said, hey, do you know.

That you can do this professionally?

And I didn't know that I could do. I mean, I knew that I could do it professionally. I just didn't know how. So it never took any effort until you and I met at a Nick Unsworth event. And Nick was so inspiring to me in that moment. And at that time, I said, I don't want to be in the same place that I am next year. And so In December of 2014, I decided to get my first business coach. And, you know, now I speak professionally, and now I do international coaching. And that was it. I mean, I just decided, like, I don't want to still be working for somebody else. I want to be doing my own thing. And within about five months, exactly five months, I quit my job, and I was out on my own. And, dude, this is. I'm in a good place, man. Like, you know, I'm also shifting my own business. So I got to a point where I was doing so much coaching that I had sort of moved away from the speaking. And now I've shifted, even in the past couple of weeks to go back to speaking, because that's where my real love is when I get on stage.

Mario, it's like I Can breathe again. I feel like I literally get on stage. I remember being on the Thrive stage and Thrive make money matter stage.

And.

I stepped out on stage and I took this deep breath, and it was.

Like my mind said, I'm home again.

And this is where I belong. I felt like I could breathe. I belong on stage. And that.

That is where I feel the most alive, the most vibrant, the most energetic. So, again, this is a form of a stage for me. So I'm super excited to be here and honored. Honored to be invited by you because.

I think so much of you.

Well, I appreciate. Appreciate that sincerely, but the honor is mine because I know you could be speaking anywhere you want. It's so inspiring to have you. I'm. Thank you for coming on.

This is where I want to be right now.

So we're perfect.

So you started your business and you didn't want to work for someone. How did you get into international coaching and helping people how you do?

So the thing is that I have my whole life since I've been a motivational speaker, my whole life, like, literally since the age of seven, I've been speaking. And people have always come to me, so they've always certain. And it didn't have to be people younger than me, didn't have to be people my age. Sometimes adults were talking to me when I was like, 12 years old and telling me what was going on in their life, and I would offer perspective and suggestions. And I distinctly remember being in Vegas one time doing. Having a conversation with somebody, and I forget how old I was. I was fairly young, I think maybe 17 or 19, something like that. I was fairly young, and I remember these people that were probably 35 or 45 years old saying to me, wow, I'd never thought about it like that. That's an amazing perspective.

Thank you.

So I've always been there, like, my heart has always wanted to share and help people be happier and find love and be. And, you know, in love. Not necessarily in love with other people.

But just in love.

And so when I went to Nick again, shout out to Nick Unsworth for, you know, helping me to see that I could actually do it.

And I went to Nick and he said, okay, well, what do you want to do? And at that time, I thought I wanted to be a spiritual teacher. And I still. I still feel like I really am a spiritual teacher. The thing is that I didn't know how to explain what I wanted to do. I was like, I want to talk about love. Like, I didn't know that I wanted to be on stage. I mean, I did know that I wanted to speak, but I was seeing myself, like, in that spiritual guru perspective. And so when I was talking to Nick and I wasn't super clear, he said to me, I've got it, I've got it. Can you help women get engaged in a year? And I was like, yeah, I've helped lots of people find their partner. Absolutely. And as an entrepreneur, that's what you. You say yes, and then you figure it out, Right? So I said yes to coaching. And I was like, I don't know exactly what I'm going to do. For the first four months that I trained with Nick, and the first two or three times that I went to see Nick in San Diego, there were like, I would spend weekends with him, and he would talk and teach and his staff would talk and teach and that other people in the Mastermind would talk and teach. And I couldn't understand anything. I didn't know what they were saying. They're talking about funnels and lead pages and landing pages. And I was like, I don't know what any of this is. So I was completely in the dark. But Nick said, he was like, can you.

Can you coach?

And I was like, yeah. I mean, this is what I've been doing. I didn't even know that there was.

A coaching world out there.

I had no clue there was a.

Coaching world until I met Nick. And all of a sudden, I realized.

That coaches are really supporting all industries all over the world.

It's absolutely fascinating.

And I just took to it like.

A fish in water. It was just super duper easy for me to sit and listen and find out and listen with more than just my ears. I would listen with my heart.

You can even hear the tone of.

My voice change right now because I'm.

Dropping into my heart.

And when I drop into my heart, I'm listening with significantly more than just my ears. And when I listen with more than my ears, the wisdom comes through me and helps me to help people identify where their obstacles and their blocks are and how to get past that.

So I often will say, hold on. I'll close my eyes and I'll get.

Quiet and I'll say, hold on one sec. I want it to come through me, not from me.

And so then I'll get quiet and.

I'll feel and I'll see and I'll just have a knowing, and then I'll speak the knowing. I'll just trust that knowing. So I still am a spiritual teacher in a Manner of speaking.

But even as recently as the past couple of weeks, I was like, I don't. Like, I love coaching and I'm going to continue to coaching to continue to coach, but I don't want to coach as my primary income. Like, I want to coach because I love to coach. So even in the past couple of weeks, I was like, I want to speak. This is where I need to go back to when I was on that stage at Thrive, make money matter. Everything changed for me because I was like, this is where I belong. I missed stage, and I didn't realize how much I had missed being on big stages. So for me, like, it was literally the conversation I had with Nick and he was supposed to work with me for four hours. Like 4 hours and 45 minutes. And that's when he got that. That download. He's like, oh, what if you do this? I was like, yes, I could do that. So, I mean, that's how it happened. And look, as a.

Human being, as a business owner, as an entrepreneur, just as a simple human being, we're going to evolve. So what you decide and choose right.

Now doesn't mean it has to be forever and ever. Amen.

It could change in two months or.

Three months or six months or six years. Right. What matters is, are you listening to what's in your heart and your soul and your mind and your body right now?

And in that moment, I was listening to what. What worked for me in that moment.

And now I'm listening to this shift that says it's time for you to be on stages again, and it's time for you to be doing your own events again. And it's time for your events to be international. And I'm like, okay, great, I'm ready. Let's take that next step.

Will I stop coaching? No.

I love it. I want to help one on one. But I also recognize that I'm built.

For bigger and I'm built for more. And it's really important for me that.

My messages are shared globally and not just with one person.

I feel like I want to just shut this off and sit back and be like, keep going and take some notes myself. That's powerful.

Thank you. I can. I, like, dude, just set me free. Let, let the leash go. And I will. I can lead and run this interview, this conversation, because that's what I do. I'm born to talk. I'm born to share what's coming through me. I'm born to share what wisdom is there and present for the listeners so many People live in fear. So many people live in scarcity, and I'm not above that. I experience fear and scarcity sometimes, too. But the difference is I'm not paralyzed by it, right? So many people don't know what to do when they get stuck. And I don't know how, and I don't know what and I don't know where, and I don't know and I don't know, and I don't know, and I'm afraid and I'm nervous and I'm worried. And what about take action literally? We can refine what you're doing later. Let's get in motion. That's how you make a change. When I get ready to jump out of a plane or indoor skydiving or aqua jetpacking or climbing in the Grand Canyon, right? Whatever it is, I'm literally a physically disabled dude. I'm weighing like, 75, 80 pounds, maybe. I have a crazy curvature in my spine so much that if I'm not hooked to the back of my wheelchair like I am right now, with my shoulder blades holding my back straight or relatively straight, my back sags and I drop forward. My belly button touches the seat between my legs that I'm sitting on, and I'm super duper skinny. I can't lift my arms, but I still do all these crazy things.

I.

Why?

Because I want to live. I want to be vibrant. I believe that we are born to.

Enjoy our lives, to smell the smell. To smell the flowers, right? To taste the amazing flavors, to see.

The beautiful sights, to be inspired, to have tingles up our spine, to have that opportunity to be excited about something.

To be sentimental, to cry with a friend, right?

We're here to experience life, and it's juicy deliciousness. And when I do the scary things, even if it's so scary as to pick up the phone and call and say, hey, I'd love to get on your stage and speak, or if it's jumping out of a plane, whatever, it might be scaring me in that moment, that's when I take a breath and I can shift in my brain. I literally can shift in my brain the fear.

I will move it to another part of my brain.

I will.

Compartmentalize it. I will basically quarantine it so that I can think and act and move and take action despite that little bit of fear that was in the way before, because now it's not in the way. And I mean, there's all kinds of techniques that I use, right? Like, for example, like, this is. This is A fun technique that I just taught one of my clients recently, if you like. Let's say that there's a gentleman who is in a restaurant and he sees this attractive woman across the way and he wants to speak to her. But there's a little bit of blonder, brunette, Hahaha. Whichever you prefer, my friend. How about Asian?

So.

All of a sudden there's this feeling inside of them, right?

And there's a little bit of confusion.

They're excited, they're nervous, they want to talk to that person. There's a sense of confidence, there's a sense of fear, there's a sense of worry. So I say just like, if you've got a handful of dice, throw out on the table in front of like in your own mind, right? Throw out on the table all of.

The emotions that you have.

Look at all those emotions. Excitement, confidence, pride, courage. And then look at the other ones. Fear, nervousness, worry. Oh, okay. Fear, nervousness, worry. Reach out like in your mind. Because if you do this, like while you're sitting at the table with your friends, they'll be like, what are you grabbing for? There's nothing there. So in your mind, reach out and grab the fear, nervousness and the worry and the doubt, right? Pull those in and like put them like with your hands under the table. Maybe think about pulling them in, scrunching them down, squeezing them all together and then just throwing them over your shoulder or throwing them behind you or dropping them on the floor and kicking them with your heel to allow them to roll behind you. And then rub your hands together like you're rubbing some dirt on it. And then what you have in front.

Of you is the confidence, the courage, the pride, the joy, the excitement.

And then breathe into those, or breathe those up and let them come back.

Into your body and stand up with that confidence and that joy and that pride and that excitement. And walk over and talk to that girl. Don't wait.

There's something I teach called power, decision, action, right? Power, decision, action. So get in power, get in your power. Because no good decision has ever been made from a state of disempowerment. In fact, when people are disempowered, they don't feel like they can make a decision. They're like, oh, I don't know, what should I do? Should I do this? They ask for all kinds of help.

So when we get in that state of power and that power can be.

Alignment, the power can be just like, I'm just coming out of meditation, that.

Power can be, I just Came out of the gym and I feel, you know, pumped up. That power can be confidence.

That power can be a stillness.

And then immediately when you say, okay.

What do I want to do? What's the next action? What decision do I need to make?

What is.

Then what is the next thing on my list? You'll hear it, you'll feel it, you'll know it, you'll see it, right?

The moment there's that knowing inside of.

You, get up and immediately take action. Don't wait from the moment the decision was made.

So in the case of that gentleman.

Looking at that lady across the way in the restaurant, and he sees this lady, and he throws out the fear and the worry and the doubt, right?

And instead he then breathes in the.

Confidence and the courage and the excitement and the joy and the enthusiasm.

And then he stands up after he breathes it in, all right?

He stands up and then he walks over there. There. That almost never happens, first of all, right?

And I know this is more of a business thing, but I'm just using a technique to talk about how we.

Get over fear, right?

A strategy that I use with my.

Clients and with myself, right?

So immediately take that action. And what happens is when people are that level of confident, when people go.

Oh, you're attractive, or, oh, actually, you're.

Somebody I want to talk to, if they. If they have that level of ability.

To make a decision decisively and they.

Get up and walk over there, they're walking over that. Decisiveness is the decisiveness of a confident person. And so when you move with that.

Level of confidence, because you've kicked or.

Thrown out all of that fear, worried.

Nervousness, and doubt, what's left? Power, enthusiasm, confidence, excitement, joy, presence. Presence, right?

This is so important. There's a difference between being present.

Being present is limiting, but being in the presence is liberating. So if you're present, you're aware of.

Your five senses and the emotions that might be inside of you and even more senses, depending on how you want.

To break that down. Because some people would consider temperature recognition as a different sense also.

So being present, you're limited by those senses. But when you're in the presence, there's an awareness, there's a confidence, there's. There's an energy, there's a love, there's a joy, there's a connection, there's a relevance, there's an awareness of the unity and the oneness. And so when you move with this power, moving with this power changes everything. Einstein said this.

Einstein said nothing changes. Until something moves. Nothing changes. Until something moves. And he's absolutely right. From the physical world. But I like to come from the spiritual world.

And I like to say nothing changes until you become still. Deeply and profoundly still. And then, Mario, everything changes.

Why?

Because the fear is not there anymore. The stillness is there. And in the stillness is confidence. In the stillness, there is no fear. In the stillness, there is awareness and the stillness. There's unity and oneness, not separation. Fear capitalizes on our awareness of separation. Love unifies and creates an awareness of oneness. In fact, my definition of love is the willing exchange of oneself for oneness. The willing exchange of oneself for oneness.

Wow, that's powerful. And I want you to.

Not elaborate. I think the word would be expand. Because when you were saying breathe, I think that's a magical word. Not enough people do it. Not enough people do it. Right. And very few people. I don't want to say very few people, but I think more people should meditate and have the benefits of that. So are you open to taking us through a one to two minute exercise on helping with the breathing? Because when you were just talking about it, and I'm trying not to knock the mic and all this stuff around the room here, but I literally wanted to just like grab some dice and start throwing stuff around, you know, like stuff like that. But I totally was visualizing it and I want it. I mean, I'm sure everyone else will want to, but I would like to myself, so.

So absolutely, I would love to do this. Absolutely, 100%. So in fact, you had asked if I would do. If I would take you through a one or two minute exercise on meditation. But it sounds to me like you, you're interested in me taking you through a one to two minute exercise on releasing fear, worry and doubt.

Or.

Because I said that. Well, that's not what you said. But when you started talking about throwing the dice. Right. That's what I was.

Holy spokes. I guess I just signed up for this. But if we can. If, if we can walk over, crush glass. Glass and break boards.

Right.

Why not?

Well, I mean, it's super simple. Like I will. I'll take.

Take you through both.

I'll combine them. How about that?

Sounds good.

Okay.

Identify. Well, just begin to breathe.

Let's start here.

Breathe in through your nose.

And then pause for a brief moment and then exhale. And as you exhale, allow your exhalation to be longer and slower than your inhalation and allow it to be a complete exhalation. So you Exhale all of the air, pause briefly, then inhale again through your nose.

Pausing briefly again and exhaling that longer exhalation, preferably through your mouth, but through your nose is fine. Exhaling a little bit longer, and then pause and then follow that rhythm. It's the rhythm and the long exhalation that creates this ability for you to be in the presence. So as you breathe in, you pause, and then as you exhale, it's an elongated exhalation that really allows you to exhale fully and completely. And now, as you're doing that, continue to breathe in such a way that you may not have the same experience as I that I just spoke of a moment ago. So find something in your life that you've typically, up to this point, been nervous or worried about or scared about. And if there's something that's coming up for you.

See if you can throw out all the emotions around that, explore all of the emotions around that, throw them out on the table like dice, or see a chart, like a bar chart go pop up in your mind. So you might see dice, and as you throw these dice out, you might see different emotions. So there might be fear, there might be angst, there might be nervousness, there might be worry. Or if you're also aware of the positives, you might also feel excitement, enthusiasm, curiosity, wonder. Right? And you might see these on a bar chart, or you might see these as dice. So now reach out physically, actually, since it's just us, physically reach out and grab those dice or physically reach out and grab. So if you're physically doing it with dice, physically reach out and grab the dice that you no longer want to fear. Feel the fear, the worry, the nervousness, the doubt, and start to bring those all together and clump them together as if they're clay, and you can mash them all together. If you're doing it with a bar chart in front of you, reach up on the bar chart with your hands physically and shrink down from top to bottom, the bars of fear, nervousness, worry, doubt, any of the negative emotions that you don't want. And as you shrink them down between your thumb and your first finger, or between your whole hands, between both of your hands, all I want you to do is squeeze them down as much as you can. And literally, I see that you have something in your hand, which is great, and throw those emotions over your shoulder. Just literally physically toss those emotions as.

If you're actually holding something in your hand.

Mario is actually holding something in his hand. But if the people are listening, and they're not holding anything thing. Throw over your shoulder.

Those emotions just literally throw away the.

Fear, the worry, the nervousness, the doubt. Perfect. Perfect. Now, keeping your eyes closed and continuing to breathe in through your nose. Pause and exhaling through your mouth. Now reach out and feel those, those dice of the positive emotions, the joy, the enthusiasm, the excitement, the opportunity, the encouraging feelings, whatever the positive emotions are that you're feeling and start to, every time you breathe in, watch them come closer and closer to your heart, closer and closer to your chest. And every time you exhale, watch them grow and get bigger. So you're going to breathe them into your chest and into your heart and into your body. And every time you exhale, they're going to get bigger. And so they're going to fill your body. You're going to be filled with that confidence, you're going to be filled with that joy, you're going to be filled with that enthusiasm. Enthusiasm. And if you're playing with the bar chart in front of you with your hands, reach up and make the bars wider, pull them forward and make them three dimensional.

Play with them.

And if they're at 60 or 70 or 80%, make them go up 5 or 10%. So expand them, make them get bigger, make them get taller, make them get thicker, make them get more three dimensional. And as you do this, you breathe those bars into your chest and into your heart and into your body also. And then you, when you exhale, they get bigger, they get heavier, they get fuller. So you get more filled with the confidence. You get more filled with the joy, you get more filled with the enthusiasm. Feel them in your body, literally. Identify where. Do you physically feel them? Are they in your chest? Are they in the upper part of your chest? Are in the lower part of your chest? Are they in the center of your chest?

Are they expanding? Are they in your tummy? Are they in your mind?

Are they in your brain? Where do you see them? Where do you feel them? And really integrate those. Feel them integrate into your physical body. And as you feel them integrated into your physical body, breathe in to help them integrate even more. And when you exhale, allow them to flow to your extremities, allow them to flow to your arms and your legs and your head. Allow them to flow to the front of your chest and your back. And every time you inhale, let them integrate more and more into your physical being, more and more into your mind, more and more into your throat and your. In your mouth and your voice box, more and more into your eyes. More and more into your heart, more and more into your stomach. Every time you inhale, they integrate. And every time you exhale, they expand, they get bigger, and they spread out more and more in your body.

Now take three breaths of integrating and exhaling and allow them to really solidify and be you. Allow them to become you. Allow that confidence to become you. Allow that joy to become you. Allow that humor to become you. Allow that presence to become you. And after your third breath, open your eyes.

Whoa.

How was that? How is that?

Gosh.

How was that?

When you threw away the negative feelings, what were you picturing or feeling yourself? And then were you able to see those? The dice on the table, for example. And the negative emotions, how was that for you?

So.

Straight up, I was thinking about money.

Okay, perfect. Perfect.

And, you know, large part of business.

Absolutely.

And.

The attachment from the past and what I was told growing up versus what I know to be true now and have experienced.

Yes.

But you're always fighting it. And I really don't like it because I've been on both sides of it and one of them is drastically better, and it doesn't change you. And it was like dark and angry, and I'm going to have to go back and see if I can hear anything or see anything. But I could feel it. And I heard you say, I see you gripping something and I just wanted to rip its freaking head off.

Yes.

And thankfully had a cord on the desk here, so that's good. But the second I got rid of it, everything went. And it was like a kaleidoscope on just all these lights and all. All the good stuff I've experienced, like when we were in San Diego and friends and family members and people I care about and all the stuff I've been dreaming about doing, that's on my reality list. Not just dream list. I started seeing me doing it this year.

Yes.

More than I ever have. And it. It literally did not stop. And one of the thoughts I had was, I hope to God he tells me when to open my eyes, because I'm gonna do this and I'm committing to it.

Yes.

But thank you for telling me when to open. And it was going like crazy. Everyone I've thought about, everyone I've put on the list to have on the show to showcase how awesome you are. Like, you just started coming to me and I saw them and then in the studio. And here's one I'll take share. I want to do this live from the boat, from the middle of the lake or ocean.

Me too. I love that. Yes.

Ocean cast. Ocean cast. Lake cast.

Yeah.

There's not. I mean, whatever that's for, there's nothing stopping us. There's all these possibilities. And.

I don't even want to ask the question about how have you transformed? You know, what's been your biggest success story? And I'll let you get into it. But whatever it was before, I think we just had a new one with me personally, and I thank you.

My pleasure, brother.

And so it's this idea that we're working with the nervous system and the body and the emotional body and the brain. And so when we throw that over our shoulder or we drop it and kick it behind us, we rub our hands so it's not connected to us anymore.

Right.

Whatever we're doing to release it, the mind goes, yes, I'm free. I can be free. I can expand and grow in the way I want to. We are born to evolve. We are born to express. Can I tell you another story real quick?

Go for it.

Okay. So I like to jump out of planes. Indoor skydiving, aqua jetpacking. I train in martial arts. I've trained for almost 30 years now. And I teach for. I probably taught 21 years. And so I love all of these kind of physical things. Even though I physically can't move, like, I can lift my shoulders, as you can see, but I can't, like, lift my arms. So I still find a way to do all of these amazing things. So I decided that I wanted to go indoor skydiving, which I'd wanted to do for a really long time. And indoor skydiving, if you don't know, it's a wind tunnel. It's literally like a vertical tube that has four plane jet engines above you and underneath you. Like, you walk out on a screen, and below you is 25 to 30, 40ft down. That opens up to the outside, and it sucks in. Those jet engines suck air up and through that tube, and it forces. It creates this pressure that blows you up. So it feels like the jet engines are below you, blowing you up, but they're actually above you, sucking the air up and through. So when these guys brought me in and picture this, they didn't know what was going to happen with my body, right? So they taped my ankles together. They put a. Like a paper towel tube, you know, like if you unrolled the full paper towel and there's just the cardboard tube in the middle, they put this cardboard tube between my knees and taped that to my knees, so my knees were open. So my ankles are closed, my knees are open. Then they taped my hands, duct tape my hands to my waist so I look like my hands are on my hips. My elbows are sticking out to the side like chicken wings, okay? And then they say they're going to walk me in because I've never done indoor skydiving before. And they didn't know what was going to happen to my body because I've got this crazy curvature in my spine. And, you know. So they brought me in, and they said, we're going to bring you, and we're going to put you face down on the net, and we're going to see what your body does before we let you come up. And I'm like, okay, cool. No worries. This sounds great. So as they walk me in, everything is fine. And then when they put me down.

On the net, I can't breathe.

I can't exhale because the air that's coming in is coming in with such a velocity and such intensity that I can't exhale. And I've jumped out of planes before, so I know that I can breathe in that particular case, but I couldn't breathe. Now, I didn't know, Mario, that you.

Can suffocate if you can't exhale.

And so this is really important for.

People to recognize that you can suffocate when you can't exhale, when you can't express yourself.

And so I'm telling these guys, I'm trying to talk, but even if I could exhale to talk, they couldn't hear me because they have earbuds in. They have helmets on, and there's four jet engines above us, right? And they're in. They're behind an actual mask. They actually have a screen on their helmet that's actually a screen. So they can't hear me. And I'm trying to say, get me up. You have to get me up. You have to get me up in the air. I can't breathe, and they can't hear me because, first of all, I can't express. I can't let anything. Nothing is coming out. So there's no voice. I'm just saying.

Right? And they're like, what? What? And I'm like, they can't. I'm. If you can't. If you're, like, just listening to this audio, I'm mouthing the words, get me up, get me up. Meaning you have to get me off this net. You have to get me in the air again. Like you. Like you had me when you carried me in, because I could breathe like that. And I was literally starting to black out just at the moment they started to lift me. And as they started to lift me.

I was able to breathe again.

It was as if the door, the entryway, let out just enough pressure that I was able to move. So, listen, this is the important point of the story. The moment that I was able to.

Express, then I was able to breathe.

And I was able to fly.

The moment that the pressure was released, right?

And so we live by so much pressure, so much obligation, so much requirement, so much debt, so much have to. And when we live by that, it's as if we're being pushed on and we can't express. We can't express who we are naturally. So the moment I was lifted up.

And there was that little bit of space that was created, all of a sudden I could exhale, all of a sudden I could breathe, all of a sudden I could express. And the moment that I could exhale and they lifted me up and I could exhale, I was also able to fly. It's the same way with each and every person out there that might be listening to this. If you are living in a state, in a presence and a place in your life right now where you feel crushing debt, where you feel obligation, where.

You feel like other people have control.

Of your life, you can't express, or at least you believe that you can't express, you get to find a way to create some distance, some space, get something off of your obligation plate, Find some distance between the people or the situations or the events that you feel are oppressing you, and recognize that you're making the decisions to allow this to happen to you. So when you start to move away from that, you create space. When you create that space, all of a sudden you can breathe, you can exhale, you can express. And when you can express, you'll begin to fly. I promise.

That's powerful.

Thanks, man.

I definitely know where you got the name PJ's wisdom from.

I didn't come up with it. I was with a bunch of my friends and they're like, helping me build my website years ago, like 2005. And I was like, hmm, I don't know, what do you. What should I call it? And they said, let's call it PJ's wisdom. And I was like, okay, I guess that's good enough for now. And here we are, 2019 PJ's wisdom. And funny, when I was a boy.

People would say, you should be a teacher, you should be a Teacher. You should be a teacher. And in my mind, I would say, yeah, but not that kind of teacher. Meaning I didn't want to teach math or science or English, but I knew that I wanted to be a spiritual teacher. Even as a little boy, I would talk about spirituality, but I didn't know how to put it in words.

When I was a kid, I didn't.

Know what it meant.

I just knew that I wanted to.

Be so recognized around the world that.

If something needed to be done, we.

Could use my face and my influence to make the world a better place.

Well, I'm glad you wanted to do that because you, like I said before, you've definitely impacted my life. And even now I was excited to have you on, but holy smokes.

So thanks, brother. I appreciate it. I think you're very kind.

My pleasure. So you're talking about having that crushing feeling, you know, with your clients, with your business, with all the pressures of this, that the other thing, what would you say is probably the number one thing you come across where people, you know, they. What do they encounter in their business that holds them back?

Would you say the biggest thing is.

People don't know how and so they don't take action?

Well, I don't know how to do that.

Right.

I don't know exactly what I want. So they don't take any action. Right. There's in the limbic system, we talk about the fight or flight response, but the thing is, the limbic system has really four responses. It's fight, flight, freeze, or feigning death. Freezing is what most people do in this particular case, right?

In their business.

If they don't know how, they don't take any action. If they don't know what exactly they want to do, they don't take any action.

They freeze.

Well, I got to figure this out. I got to figure this out. I'm going to talk to a bunch of people. When you become an entrepreneur, especially a young budding entrepreneur, brand new, what often happens is if you've worked for 5, 10, 20 years of your life, you ask your boss, hey, boss, is it okay if I do this? When you become a young and buddy entrepreneur, you are your own boss. But the problem is most people think like, I don't know how I'm going to do this. I don't know what exactly I'm supposed to do it. I don't know, like how to do it. And so they start asking other people. They start asking other people, what do you think? Should I do this? They're still Looking for a boss. They're still looking for somebody to give them the.

The approval to take the next step. They're still looking for that opportunity to decide for themselves. Right. Or to actually take action, but they're looking for somebody outside of them to make that decision.

Don't do that. Get in motion.

That 8020 principle, right? The 80 20. Predator's law, right? Predator's principle.

Predator's law.

Predator's principle, I think. But anyway, Predator's. Predator's law, I think it's called. So it's the 8020 principle, which is 80% of your success comes from 20 of the input. Now, it's not always 80 20. It's not always a perfect match right there. It could be. 90% of the good things in your life are coming from 3% of the input, right? Maybe you have an amazing, amazing relationship, and it's coming from one partner. And your life is so filled with so much laughter and joy and love and excitement and adventure and romance because.

Of one person, not because of all.

Of these other people.

But there's so much amazing things going on in your life.

And also, simultaneously, it can be flipped, where 80% of the negative is usually coming from a minority also. So if you look at this like, I don't know how to do it. That's I don't know, know how is a minor thing. Let's get you in motion, and we can figure out how later. Let's get it 80% right, which is a slightly different 8020 that I'm talking about. But let's get an 80% right, and then we can worry about the other 20% later. Get in motion. Even if you're doing the wrong thing, do the wrong thing so that you can go, wow, this doesn't work. Let me refine. Now that I'm in motion, I can refine. But if I'm not in motion, there's nothing to refine, right? Again, with my disability, if I'm in martial arts, if I'm in class and I have one of my students punch me or kick me, or it's somebody I've never trained with before. And they, you know, like, let's say I'm at an event and people go, you can really do martial arts? And I say, yeah, come up and I'll show you. And somebody will come up on stage, for example, and I'll say, go ahead and punch me. And they're like, like, punch you? I'm like, yeah, like, here, you can even grab my shirt if you want. So I can't get away, right? So grab my lapel and punch me. They'll, like, do this real slow, like, awkward, weird punch. Like it's not a real punch. You know what I mean? It's like they just straighten their arm. It's not like there's no energy. There's no life to it. But if I would bring up one of my students and they would actually put some life into it, they would actually punch me. Now I have something to work with.

Now I can refine what they're doing. Now I can change that, their movement.

Now I can capitalize on the.

The energy that they're bringing. You can't refine and change something if you're not in action. Get in action. Don't worry about the how or the why.

One of my very, very, very good.

Friends, he is so intelligent, but he's so intelligent to a detriment. He's so intelligent to a detriment that he can't take action until his brain is processed.

All the possible actions that need to be taken and probabilities and possibilities and errors and corrections for the next five to 10 years. So he gets stuck in his own thinking. He gets paralyzed by the what if? And the hows and the how am I going to handle that?

And let's just get in motion. And once you get in motion, we can refine and fix it. Because in motion means energy. Energy means now. We can shape it, we can do something with it, but we can't just do something with thought. And if you're not sure what or how, you may not take any action. And it's that fight, flight, or freeze. And freezing is the worst thing for an entrepreneur. In fact, freezing is the worst thing for a relationship.

Sometimes it can help. Stop. Don't argue, right? Freeze in a moment, rethink.

But usually freezing is only because there's danger.

If you look at that little bunny, watch any nature show, right? And you see little tiny bunny chewing the grass or whatever. And then all of a sudden, you know, the nature narrator, he's like, and.

Along comes a bobcat, and the little jackrabbit does not know the bobcat is sneaking up on it. And then notice how the rabbit sees the bobcat and stops moving, right?

So all of a sudden, the rabbit goes freeze.

Maybe the bobcat didn't see me. So I'm not gonna move. I'm not gonna move.

I'm not gonna move. And I personally have experience with this. I've literally walked up. Walked up on a bobcat. And I was like, Eek. This is a bad idea. Right. So literally, the rabbit will freeze, and then when it realizes, oh, the bobcat has seen me, then he'll take off. Because the rabbit's not gonna fight the bobcat. It's gonna flee, it's gonna fly, it's gonna run.

So we got to get you in motion.

Right.

If you're asking me what's the biggest.

Thing that the people that come to.

Me that have businesses run into, it's not knowing how and not knowing what. So they take zero action, that will kill them. That will kill their business faster than making a mistake. Make a mistake and then make it right. Make a decision.

Again, quoting Nick Unsworth. Make a decision and then make it right.

Now on the opposite side of freezing and not taking action.

Yes.

Obviously you can take people through a transformation and have massive breakthroughs. What is one of your biggest success stories to date? That someone was in a bad place, they came to you, and now they're not. Let's say.

I love this. Now, I've used this example in other podcasts, but I've never had anybody ask me that question. This is the. I'm trained in nlp Neuro Linguistic programming. And so I use NLP with my clients a lot, and I have used it for probably three and a half years now. And it is absolutely amazing. What will take a therapist 12 to 15 years to help somebody get through will take a skilled NLP person maybe.

12 to 15 minutes.

So I had one of my clients who was in the military, and at.

The time he was in the military.

And he had been in Afghanistan, he had been in other war zones, and he happened to be out at this point in time. When I had him, he was in the reserves. So he'd gone to his two week summer activity and summer deployment, and he was there, and he was watching the guys leave their weapons on the ground and not do what he was telling them to do. And he started to, like, have flashbacks, which he hadn't had in a really long time of being in the war zone. And he's like. And he couldn't discipline them. For whatever reason, his commanding officers were not allowing him to discipline as their commanding officer. And they were like, you can't do that.

You can't do this, you can't.

All of the options that he had to discipline them and to teach them, he kept getting his hands tied. And so this image kept replaying and replaying and replaying in his head of being on the battlefield and watching people, watching people die. Right. And so he literally started having these flashbacks, and so he wound up in a post traumatic stress disorder situation. Situation. They sent him home because he kept telling them, look, if you do this on the battlefield, you're going to die. You cannot be separated from your weapon. You need to have it at the ready all of the time. And they were like, whatever, dude. This is just too. Like, they had no clue what real war was like. And he wanted to be a medicine, and he was actually training to be a medic and had used his medic skill set on the battlefield, and he didn't want, you know, as a medic, you want people to heal, you want people to live. You want people to make it right. So you're not out there wanting to, like, shoot the bad guy. You're the guy who wants to make sure everybody lives. And he was like.

He was really, really struggling with being.

Able to shut that off. So they sent him home a week and about a week and a half early. And they had told him, they're like, you are literally going to have to go to two different therapists, psychologists. We're not sure how long it's going to take you. But they were literally getting him ready. And I said, no. And he had called me and said, hey, I'm back early. I'm experiencing some ptsd. Can we do a call? And I was like, absolutely. So we get on a call, and he's telling me this whole story. And I said, no, no, you don't. He's like, what do you mean?

What do you mean, no, no, I don't.

I was like, you're not going to.

Have to see any therapists.

We're going to take care of it right now. And he's like, no, no, I have ptsd. They're telling me I'm going to have to see at least two therapists, two psychologists, and. And they want to start me next week. And I was like, no, you won't have to. You're fine. I'm going to help you get rid.

Of it right now.

He's like, what do you. What do you mean you're going to. You can do that?

And I was like, yes, we can do that. So in about 15 minutes, we completely removed his PTSD.

And he had not been out of the house in, I think, a week because he took about a week to call me, right? And I was like, oh, you're home early. He's like, well, I've been home for about a week. Hadn't been out of the house in a week, hadn't driven his car. And I was like, okay. He's like, literally in the middle of it, he started laughing. He started laughing because of the technique that we were using. And he's like, this is amazing. So I kept taking him through it because I wanted to make sure we really cleaned it out. And I was like, okay, good. How are you feeling? He's like, I feel amazing. I feel free. I feel light. I feel like I haven't felt in a really long time. I was like, okay, go outside. He's like, go outside. And I was like, yeah, go outside. And he walked outside and he walked around the corner of the buildings. He walked in and out of cars, you know, and he came back in and he's like, dude, I'm not, I'm not worried about, like, IUD or. Yeah, I, I, no, no, not IEDs. EOD. Yeah, I. IUDs. Improvised explosive devices. Right. And not IUDs.

He should be worried about this.

And he came back and he's like, and my flowers out front have bloomed. And he's like, I feel amazing. I feel so light. I feel so relaxed.

15 minutes to handle PTSD.

Now, it may not be the same.

For everyone with ptsd. It might be a series of a.

Couple one on one calls, right. Or one on one sessions. But PTSD is something that happens because the unconscious mind is ruminating, ruminating, ruminating, going over, going over, going over that same image over and over and over again. And the conscious mind is out of control.

And so that's where the fear and the anxiety start to come because we feel like we're not in control anymore. And so I just helped him to regain control.

And we shifted what the unconscious mind.

Was doing, and as soon as we did that, all of a sudden he was set free.

And literally every time I talk to him, he's like. I'm like, how are you feeling? He's like, I feel amazing. Still. I can't believe he's like, I didn't have to go to the psychologist. I feel great. And he actually made a decision to leave the military and go full time to college so he could become a nurse.

And he's incredibly happy.

Good for him.

Yes.

That is an inspirational story for sure.

Thank you.

And I'm sure you have dozens more, more like that.

I'm very, very fortunate.

I am very, very fortunate.

So obviously provide the breakthroughs. And you alluded to it a little bit earlier, but it's not just the one on one that you do. What has speaking done for your Company.

You know what? Speaking. I haven't ever, I've literally never marketed and advertised. Speaking on all the podcasts and all the summits and the stages and just being authentic and doing the best that I can for my one on one clients. The more people that see me, people just refer me or they, they see me on a podcast or a summit and then they find a way to reach out to me and they say, hey, you know, I'd love to be able to talk to you and jump on a call with you. And so I'll chat with people 20 minutes, 45 minutes, an hour and a half sometimes.

And people just sign up with me.

They just say, I want, you know, I want you to, you know, to coach me. I believe in you, I trust you.

I feel safe with you.

That guy that I just mentioned, he had literally signed up with the Tony Robbins organization. And when he talked to me, he called them back and said, I want to get my money back because I want to go with somebody else because.

He felt the connection with me.

And it's because I showed up with this level of authenticity and I spoke.

His language and he liked that he.

I could speak medical terminology with him because that's stuff that's fascinating to me too. I could speak military because some of my teachers have been military. And so that worked for him.

And so for me, speaking from stages.

Whether it's live stages or podcasts or summits, because these are all stages, it.

Brings clients to me and it really.

For my business more than anything, it.

Gets my message out there of love, of transformation, of you were born to actually live and love your life, right? Live and love without limits. That's what I like to say. So when you're able to live and love without limits, all of a sudden life becomes so rich for you and so rich for your friends and family because of the way you show up for them.

So the next part is, how has video impacted your business?

For me, video is critical because I'm not a writer. I can write, so I could do a blog. I do write for Positive Tribe magazine right now.

It's not my favorite thing to do.

I'm a good writer. I just don't like to write. I haven't actually written a full book yet. I've got books started. I did co author a book. I'm co authoring another book right now. But I'm just not a writer. It's just not my thing. So for me, video is a way of being able to get information out to people.

Share.

Gary Vaynerchuk says he wrote a book called Jab Jab Jab right hook, meaning.

Give, give, give, give and then ask.

So for me, video from my end.

Gives me a great way to distribute content and share wisdom.

And if I look at it differently.

We can also look at it in terms of.

Video has allowed me to be able to do summits and podcasts like we're doing right now, live as well as, you know, pre recorded.

But also it gives me a chance to be able to look at my.

Clients, clients, because I might be in Tucson, Arizona and I've had clients in France, I've had clients in Africa, I've had clients in Turkey, I've had clients in Singapore, I've had clients in.

Canada. So I've had clients all over England. I've had clients all over the world. And because of that, the video allows.

Me to actually look at them and.

Watch their facial expressions. So when somebody says, no, I'm having a great day and they sort of twitch or, you know, their face, like scowls funny, I'm like, what was that? They're like, what was what? I was like, your face just did this weird thing.

I'm like, let's talk more about that. Are you really feeling that? And so the video has allowed a two way conversation for people who have never met me before to see me and go, you know what, I like you and I feel like I can trust you. And so video, like, we can do it across the phone, but video allows people that are not in the same vicinity to connect.

We live in a remarkable time right.

Now where the world is becoming smaller.

And that is largely because of technology. Video like this and zoom and Wirecast or Wirecast, right?

Is that right?

Yeah, Wirecast and video like Wirecast and.

Skype, these are things that allow us to really connect with other people, people around the world.

And when we are able to connect.

With those people around the world, the beautiful thing is the world gets smaller and we're able to love deep, more deeply and we're able to make friends around the world. And all of a sudden the differences that we thought were there just dissolve. They're not there. There's only sameness, there's only oneness, there's only love, there's only kindness, there's only friendship.

Absolutely love it, brother. I appreciate you for sharing this. So PJ has given us his wisdom and we're just getting warmed up. This is just the first. So we're going to thank our sponsor and I'm going to bring him back for the imperfect action round. He has said this theme the entire time and we're going to expand on it in the next part.

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Expert Authority World and I am excited to announce this is the first time on the new show I'm going to be doing this. We are going to take this and.

Make it a two parter. PJ has been sharing so much great information. There is a ton more. We don't have enough time to get through it on one episode so we're.

Going to transition this. Come back tomorrow and you'll hear part two.

Thanks for joining us for Part one.

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Let's continue the conversation over in the community. ExpertAuthorityWorld. Com we can have discussions, talk about the episodes, and I'd love to get your thoughts on it. Once again, expertauthorityworld.com.