0222: No Good at Love: Behind the Music Video & Thriving Past Sexual Abuse Through Music with Recording Artist Maxx Nies

Hi, I'm Max Neiss and you can find me@itsmaxmusic.com and you're listening to EA interviews.

EA interviews. Episode 222, inspiration, transformation, success stories and the imperfect action round. Seven days a week. Join Mario Ficcini for today's Expert Authority Effect interview. Expert Authority World. I want to ask you, have you ever felt like you're no good at love? I have felt this way in the past and I'm sure you have too. No one is perfect. But it's interesting because we all have varying degrees of what that means in our lives. And I'm very excited to bring to you today's VIP guest, Max Neiss. And she's a recording artist from la. She just dropped her new single and her story is incredible. And I know I normally come on here and I'm all like, hey dude, it's going to be great. This and that. And I gotta be honest, this is gonna be a hard hitting interview. And I knew we needed to get her message out there because she's helping so many people. It could be a story of victim, but she's turning it into victor. We all have stuff in our past that we're overcoming. And what she's doing with her music is so incredible. I don't know if you ever had suicide. The thoughts of suicide, depression, anxiety, sexual abuse from age 6. These are all things she's overcame. And I'm very excited to bring her up. Right after we thank our sponsor. Every business needs a book, including yours. Visit freebusinessbookpublishingcourse.com today to learn the seven steps to publish and promote your nonfiction, lead and profit generating business book in eight weeks. Once again, that's free businessbook publishingcourse.com Here she is, ladies and gentlemen, Max Neiss. Max, how are you feeling today?

I'm good. How are you? Thank you so much for having me.

I'm doing great and the pleasure is mine. I can't wait for you to share your story.

The floor is yours. Please go into detail and just share with us.

I think it's great what you're doing. Like I was saying before because so many people could look at this as a tragedy instead of a triumph and use it to say I'm a victim instead of a Victor. So say whatever you want. It's your episode.

Thank you. Well, I guess, I mean, it all started when I was a baby and my mom and my dad were.

They were never together. It wasn't the best relationship. And when my mom found out that she was having a baby. He didn't really want to be in the picture or want to go through with having a kid at all. And she was not agreeing to that. She was like, I'm having this baby no matter what. And it kind of just showed throughout my life that he didn't want to have a kid at all. And he was very abusive and just angry and had his own issues. And.

From age as. I mean, as young as I can remember till age 9, I was being abused at his house. And I never spoke about it because it was kind of just like what I was used to. Like, I didn't really know any different. And once I was nine years old, my body and my mind just started reacting to it. And I wasn't, like, sane anymore, if that makes any sense. And I started developing all these mental disorders and coping skills to help me get through what I was going through. And that involved eating disorders. And I would. I had really bad ocd. I had really bad depression and anxiety. And that started really coming out and showing around age, like, 8 and 9. And my mom put me in therapy. And I started telling the therapist just, like, what my life was, like, what was going on at his house and everything. And she was like, this is not okay. And that was the first time I ever really, like, looked at, like, my life and, like, faced that there was abuse in it and that what was going on wasn't okay and it's not normal and it's not a good thing. And my mom immediately moved me out of the state. We both moved to Ohio where my aunt and her family lived. And we were. The plan was to live with them and then find our way by ourselves out there. But my mom ended up getting a job offer out here in la and we took it immediately because it was just. It was an amazing opportunity. And we moved out here and I just struggled a lot with my mental health. I was really sick from being malnourished. My anxiety and depression were awful. I was suicidal. Just everything in the book I was dealing with, and I was put in rehab centers and hospitals and stuff like that. And I really couldn't find any help because I really just didn't want it in a way. Like, I wanted to get better and I wanted to be happy, but I didn't really want to. I didn't have enough motivation in myself. And that's kind of where music comes in, because I started writing about these things and my anxiety and depression and all these feelings. And I was also working with my uncle, who's A spiritual life coach. And he started showing me a different approach to healing, and that really helped with. Helped me out.

And what was that?

He brought me back basically to my childhood. Mentally. We went back into my childhood and really faced what I went through and felt all of the feelings that I was suppressing and dealt with all the things that I just kind of swept under the rug and never really looked at and came to a place of self love and forgiveness to that the people who were not good to me, including my father and his friend and his family. And just forgiving those people myself too, because I have been very damaging to myself most of my life, because that's kind of what I was taught, you know, like, once you grow up learning abuse, you start kind of just. That feels normal. So when I stopped seeing my dad, I kind of took the place of abusing myself and. And all the abuse that he wasn't doing to me once I stopped seeing him, I did to myself, in a way.

And what age was this?

So I stopped seeing him at nine years old.

Okay. So for the first nine years, it was such an example. You didn't know anything else. And it caught my attention a few minutes ago when you were saying, that's just the way it was, and the therapist was saying it's not normal, but you were just so conditioned, you. You didn't even think twice about it until roughly nine, right?

Yeah. And then when. I mean, at nine years old, I was going through so much. Like, I just fell into this very dark depression. That was the first thing that happened for me. I guess anxiety and depression kind of came in at the same time, which then resulted in me not socializing and not wanting to leave the house and then not. I went from being obsessively taking showers at. When the sexual abuse started, I didn't even, like, put two and two together, but I started to take showers, like multiple showers a day. And I now know that that's a result of sexual abuse, just not never feeling clean enough. So OCD and showering and doing all that kind of stuff is usually tied with sexual abuse. And I can't even remember where I was getting at with that, but from my. Yeah, from the youngest I can remember, I. I was going through all that and just started developing all of these mental disorders and coping mechanisms. And the depression kind of led into my eating problems because I stopped eating just out of not wanting to. And then. And just my body literally just shut down. Like, I just didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't Want to do anything. I wasn't participating in anything. I stopped eating. I. I don't know how my sleeping habits even were. I don't even remember. But that led into, like, obsession around food because my. It was like my mind kind of got addicted to the distraction of focusing on what I wasn't eating and how my body was feeling, so I didn't have to think about all the pain I was going through from the abuse of being at my dad's house and being with him. So that eating disorder that I developed was kind of like. I don't know, it was like a blessing in a way, because my mind and my body was not ready to face what I had gone through at my dad's house.

It sounds like it was either totally or in a way, like a defense mechanism.

Totally. Yeah. I was trying to protect myself from facing my own reality, and I kind of needed to do that because I wasn't ready to face it.

And all of this, you know, it's horrible to hear and, you know, I'm glad you're triumphing, but it's just kind of hard. I mean, it would be horrible at any age. And you're talking ever since you can remember till nine, you know, and then, because I'm thinking grade school sucked to begin with, let alone middle school and high school, at least for me, you know, I can't even fathom everything else. I mean, just growing up alone is hard enough. And this was such at a young age. So now you're at 10, 11, 12, 13. So what was different in middle school versus grade school? And then take us into high school.

Yeah. So fourth grade was the last.

Grade that I fully was in. I. Once fifth grade happened, I was in such an awful place. My mom would pull up to the school, and I would just be like, no, not. I'm not doing this. And she would be like, you have to, like, you have to get out. You have to go to school. And I'd be like, I am not going in there. Like, I don't like the kids. They're mean to me. I don't like myself. I. Like, I'm struggling enough with myself. I was like, I couldn't even go throughout the day peacefully because I was so, like, wrapped up in my head with what I was going through because I had just stopped seeing my dad at that moment. And, like, entering fifth grade, and it was just awful. And that was like. There was so much going on. So it was like I was moving a lot, so it felt like I was in school. But I wasn't at the same time because I was moving. We moved to Ohio and then we were trying to figure that out. And eventually my mom was just like, okay. She surrendered to homeschooling. So from fifth to seventh grade, I think I had a teacher, like a tutor come to my house and homeschool me because I was just in such an awful place. And at that point in my life, I really didn't want to socialize with anyone. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I spent all of my time alone and with. I was a horseback rider at the time, so I had a. I was at the barn.

How did you get into that? That sounds fun.

Yeah, I got into that around 6 years old. One day my dad had a girlfriend. Randomly. She just was at the house one day. He never, like, explained it to me or anything. He was just like, she just was at the house. And we became friends and she took me to. I would. She would come over and I would be there and she'd be like, what are we doing today? And I'd be like, what do you mean? Like, we don't do things here. Like, my dad would just be in the other room and I would just be sitting on a chair for hours, waiting to go back to my mom's house. And this woman walked in the room and she was like, what are we doing today? And I'd be like, nothing. Like, don't you. You didn't get the memo? We just sit here and watch whatever we watch until something happens. And she'd be like, no. Like, let's go do something. And one day the activity was to go to the barn and she introduced me to these horses and that she used to ride and stuff. And I fell in love. And that was like.

If I wasn't dealing with my. Like, I remember like going to the barn and all of my problems just erasing. Like they were just non existent. I didn't have anxiety, I didn't have depression. I was just like happy and quiet in my head and just there with the horses.

It was calming.

Yeah, it was very calming. It was very healing. Like, I don't know where I would be with that. Honestly, I would not be here without them. Because when I entered my. The rehab center I was in, I was not participating at all. Like, I didn't care. I was at such a low place and I hated myself so much. I was just like, I wanted to die. And one day the counselor came up to me, one that I was really close with, and she said.

You don't have to do this for yourself. You don't have to do this at all. But I just want you to remember that you have a horse that is waiting for you, and he's wondering where you are. And I was just like, okay, I'll start being better now. And that's really what it took for me to get into this place of, like, wanting to start healing myself and loving myself. I was like, I have, because I had this horse at the time who meant everything to me. He was my first horse, and he literally just was my angel. I mean, he is my angel. He's still alive. He's just retired now. But I. Every day I was in there, and it's still, like, to this day, when I'm having a hard time, I'm like, I did it for Marley. I do it for Marley. Like, he was my biggest thing. And then eventually it turned into, I do it for myself, and I love myself, and I want to be nice to myself, and I want to love myself, and. Yeah. But I definitely needed that motivator.

Well, I'm glad you have it. And.

I'm seeing as the story's progressing, how it's turning into the music and the inspiration and.

This isn't a question I was gonna. There's a part coming up that I asked a question, and I guess it could be, but this is more of a. I want to make sure. You should do a mu. 1. You're one of your next music videos. You should do it in a barn with the horses.

That is a great idea, actually.

The whole time you've been talking, I'm just, like, seeing this whole thing happening.

And I'm like, you just got so excited.

I'm so. I would love to do that.

Yeah. That's not a random question I wanted to ask. That's a. You know, I'm making a giant mental asterisk right now, and.

No, thank you. I'm definitely going to. Right after this. I'm putting something together a thousand percent.

Jonathan, you hear that?

Yeah.

Done deal.

I will be texting.

No, I. I, I'm. I. I can just. I'm just reading it on your face and everything, and it's. And. And I wanted to ask you, do you still do the horseback riding?

So actually, in 2018, I. So my horse, Marley, that I was just talking about, he retired, and I got a new horse, and he ended up getting injured and couldn't ride him anymore, so I started leasing this horse, and he was a lot older than what I was used to, and so much fun and capable of doing everything I needed him for. But one day I just woke up and I was like, this is exhausting. And I don't know if I want to be a horse girl every day, all the time anymore. And I want. I was, like, starting to get back into music. And I started music when I was like. I mean, I've been doing music since the day I was born. Basically, I've been singing my whole life. But I started, like, taking lessons and getting a little bit more serious when I was 8, but it was really inconsistent. And then in 2018.

I was, like, kind of not feeling the horse thing anymore, and I was, like, really wanting to start doing music more seriously. And my mom was like, you have to choose one or the other because they're both really expensive, and I can't afford to do both of them. So I was like, I think I want to give music a go. It's really calling me, and I want. I'm over this period of my life with the horses, and I'm ready to start this up again. So I started my singing lessons back up. I actually started working with a producer who I've been working with now since that day or since we start. First started working together two years ago or three years ago.

And I don't know, I just went full force into it, and I fell in love with it. And, I mean, like I said, I've always had the passion around music, but once I started really putting my own personal stories out there and, like, into my music, it was a different feeling for me. And, like, seeing my songs be created and hearing them and working with this producer and this co writer and bringing everything to life was just so amazing to. And it became like, I want to do it again. I want to do it again. I want to make another song. I started craving it. It became, like, all I wanted in life, so I did that. And I was just like, this is what I'm going to do with my life, and I'm going to take. Once I started working with my uncle, he really encouraged me to start writing about everything I had been through and what I was feeling. Like every time I would feel something uncomfortable, he'd be like, write it down. Write a song. Write something. Write something. And a lot of the time, I would be hesitant. In the beginning, I was very hesitant. I was like, I want to be a pop star that sings about boys and fun and this and that, and no one's gonna want to hear about my anxiety or my abuse. Like, why would I Write songs about that to, like, depress people. I don't want to do that. And then I, like, found this way to do it to, like.

So that it doesn't make it depressing and it still gets the message across. But it's like, in music that makes you feel good and, like, hopeful, and some of it you can dance to and some of it you want to sing along to. I. I don't know. I just kind of found this way where I'm satisfied with singing about these topics and feeling good about it.

If you're feeling good about it, that's the key. Because there's always someone who's willing to listen to it. Because.

I would say arguably the dark and there's no arguably. It definitely was.

A few years ago I lost my father and it kind of stirred up my world and I was writing more. I think I even talked about it on some of the episodes early on. But, you know, my whole life I've been joyous and just whatever. And, you know, there's a time and place for that. I love upbeat songs, dancing. You know, I was in band, choir, drama, played sax, piano. I play sax, piano, marched.

But there's something to be said about those deep, emotional songs, especially on piano, when it's just like, you just feel it. And there's very much, you know, from a business standpoint, there's definitely a market for it, but I mean, it just resonates. There's very often it's like, you know, it's not a party. You know, there's nothing wrong with the dance music. Definitely love it. And I know my friends that see this are going to be like, yeah, you do. And yes, because you don't want to be, like, sad all the time like Moonlight Sonata. You can't play that 12 hours a day and still be in a good mood. But if it was never made or your music was never made, look at all the people you don't get to help.

Right?

Yeah. And I. You'll see in my album that I'll be slowly dropping songs from. They're not all sad, intense songs like that. And when I first started writing with this producer that I've been talking about, there's like five, I believe, like, five songs on there that are fun, dancey songs. And I, like, send. Whenever I write a song and we. It's like I have a demo of it. I send it to my girl cousins who are all, like, around. Well, it's all different ages, but they're all teenagers now. And one's like, in her 20s. And I like to get feedback from all of them because they're, like, the age group that I want to target mostly. And I first. When I first started sending them my songs, it was all, like, those happy, like, upbeat songs about, like, breakups or crushes or boys and whatever. And then I continue to send them my songs. And my youngest cousin, who's at the age of, I think, 12 now, which is so crazy to me, her favorite song is about my eating disorder, and it's a really rough, emotional song, but it's her favorite song, and, like, that just shows me, like, that can reach anyone. Like, she's 12 and she likes this song that I wrote about, like, my struggle with just never really feeling satisfied with myself and starving and wanting this unrealistic feeling 24 7. Like, I don't even know if she understands it from the point that I wrote it at, but it hits her in some way, which you feel it. Yeah. That's so powerful to me that a little girl can connect to something like that. And it's like. It's like, I don't. I feel weird saying this, but it's, like, sad, but at the same time, it's realistic, you know, like, she's so young. She's 12, and she can connect to a song like that. And maybe it's not on the same level that I've connected to it on, but she relates to it in some way, and so do a lot of other people that I shared it with. So it just goes to show you that everyone deals with stuff from one extent to another. You know, like, we're all going through stuff. Whether it's you're really sad about how you stubbed your toe this morning, or you're being sexually abused every night. Like, it. Everyone's going through something.

What would you say to someone listening that Whether it's something extreme and it's travesty and it's horrible, like sexual abuse, or it's something minor, like, extremely minor, like stubbing your toe and everything in between. What would you say to someone who just feels like no matter what it is, that's their mountain that they just, you know, can't see around it. What's something you could say to them to say, hey, you know, it's going to be okay. You can do this and get past it?

Yeah. Well, first thing I want to say is that not one, at least how I like to look at it, is not one trauma is worse than another. Which is why I bring up the stubbing your toe Example, because someone can go through something and it might not affect them the same way that the next person would experience it as, you know, so, like, whatever you're feeling, it's valid. No matter what it sounds like or feels like, you are the one who's experiencing it. It doesn't matter what other people are seeing it as. So for people that are going through things, I want them to know that whatever you're feeling is valid and it's okay to feel it, and you don't have to be embarrassed or scared to express yourself, because.

It doesn't matter what other people think of you when it comes to that. You have to respect yourself and you have to stand in one with yourself and reach out if you feel the need to reach out. And I want to say, like, I'm here for everyone. You can DM me on social media at Max Niece, on Instagram, on my Facebook, it's Max.

I'm here, and I'm open to talking to anyone who needs help or advice or just someone to talk to. I want to be there for everyone.

But, yeah, just. My biggest thing is feel your feelings. Please don't suppress them. Please don't.

Use unhealthy coping mechanisms. And you. There is help out there for everyone.

Well, I'm glad you're. You're.

This is surreal for me because.

I always thought that, you know, I was ambitious from a young age and I was ahead of my time and everything, but you are just full of wisdom because you're, what, 20 now?

Yeah.

I can tell you, and anyone who hears this.

Even though I didn't go through anything as.

Horrific as what you did, you're still speaking to me right now because I was bullied when I was younger. And I would like to say that, you know, I was fine by. Well, it wasn't high school. It was.

I for sure carried it way longer than I needed to. And it's surreal because you're like, well, you know, it's hitting home with her, and she's so young. And I'm thinking, well, one, you were so young, too. But also, you are so young, you have everything ahead of you. Your starting point is. I mean, I started my first business at 12, but mentally.

I was still working on stuff for a while. Even when you made the crack at your cousin, you're like, well, they're all in their teens, but she's in her 20s. And I'm thinking, yeah, that's much older, you know.

Yeah.

So I'm glad you're. You're. You're doing this because people need to hear this. You know, whether they're 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, or 95. I know there's people that are even twice my age that I've helped them, you know, just see things differently. And it's like you've been carrying that. You know, I used to think, because I used to be your age at one point a few years ago, and I used to think these people have been dealing with this longer than I've even been alive. And it was just hard to conceptualize and everything. So.

Thank you for sharing this. I'm going to. We got to thank our sponsor, and we're going to do the Wheel of Whatever. Right. Real quick. And it actually is a wheel.

Oh, don't fall. Good. Is it going to fall? No. So my question for you is, who is. Is it stopping? Who is someone like recording artist. Recording artist, musician, who would you love to do a song with a duet and a music video?

Oh, my gosh, Yes.

I love the Wheel of Whatever. I get to ask anyone whatever they want, and I get away from. Get away with it because it's the Wheel and it's not really me.

I would. I've spoken about this on other podcasts, too, but Taylor Swift is, like, my biggest inspiration ever. And a lot of the things that I've learned and a lot of things that I have brought into my artist today are inspired by her, and she has taught me. So if I could do anything, anything with her, it would be an absolute dream come true. I die for her.

That's a little surreal, to be honest with you, because when you were talking about some of the things earlier, episode three of the show. Rick Barker was Taylor's original manager and former manager, and I had him on the show right. Right after I started it. And I was going to wait till after we were off the air and say, you know, I think there may be a synergy there. You know, he's been huge in the industry, but, yeah, he actually helped manage Taylor.

Oh, my God.

Well, yeah, she more than happy to at least introduce you to.

No promises or anything. I don't know if, you know, he's. He started his own thing a while ago to focus on family and some stuff. You know, he has a great story, but.

Anyone I can put you in touch with, and I know there's other people that are upcoming on the show. Anything I can do to help, I'd be more than happy to.

A dream come true. I really, really would appreciate it.

She is cool. I like her, too. We're going to thank the sponsor real quick and come back for the imperfect action round. You've heard me say every business needs a book, including yours, and it's true. And that's why you should visit freebusinessbook publishingcourse.com today to learn the seven steps to publish and promote your nonfiction lead and profit generating business book in eight weeks. But you know what, don't take my word for it. Take it from a few of my authors like Lori, I went from having.

An idea and a possibility to actually getting my book published.

Or Catherine, thank you for making my.

Mom number one best selling authority.

Or Mary Alice, what he got done.

For me in three days regarding my book launch.

Unmanageable.

John Cody I've worked with Mario over the phone and online and he's been very helpful in getting me where I needed to go with promoting my books.

Rocio there's no way in the world I would have been able to do this with somebody else again. I've attempted it in the past. It didn't serve me. As a matter of fact, I ended up more frustrated than anything. So this has been a very seamless process. If you're looking for an amazing business coach, I highly recommend Mario Ficini or Bill Benner.

I can't make a higher recommendation than to work with Mario Ficini. He has been great for me and right now I won't work with anybody.

Else except for Mario.

Hey, their words, not mine. Visit freebusinessbookpublishingcourse.com to get started now. And I look forward to hearing your transformation as the next video success story. Once again, that's free businessbook publishingcourse.com and we are back with the imperfect action round. Max, are you ready to take imperfect action?

I am.

All right, these are 60 second answers. Real quick. Got a couple questions for you. 1. If someone had something, if someone has something holding them back, what's the best way to just still go for it?

You have to. I always like to tell myself fear is not real. And then once I do that I'm like, wait, so I'm not scared? And then you have nothing to be scared of. And then you just do it.

2. Have you ever thought about being a motivational speaker outside of recording artist?

I haven't until I started doing these podcasts and I'm really enjoying it so I would consider it.

3. You absolutely should. You're amazing. And I wasn't sure if you had or not because.

Well, not everyone has, but I definitely have some. I see some things for your next decade.

Thank you so much.

That wasn't a question, but we're gonna pretend it was because it's my show and I'm not gonna get in trouble for it.

Where would you like people to learn more about you and check out your new music video, which is awesome.

Yes. Thank you so much. I'm on all social media platforms. On Instagram, I'm at Max Niece N I E S and it's Max with two X's On Spotify and my music platforms, I'm Max M A X X. My YouTube, I mean, yeah, my YouTube is Max Maxx. You can find my music video. There's. I have a Facebook page and then my website is also its maxmusic.com.

Well.

I'm so glad we got a chance to connect and for you to share with Expert Authority World because I know I'm not the only one who's benefiting from this and it resonated with and I can't wait to further promote it ongoing because I definitely see where you're going over this next decade.

Well, thank you so much and thank you for believing in me and supporting me and having me on this show. It means so much.

The pleasure. It's an honor and the pleasure is honestly mine.

All right, Expert Authority World, we have another great episode here today. I'll see you tomorrow. Have a great day and God bless.

You're already the expert, but have you transformed your expertise into a tangible asset that will generate and qualify leads while in increasing profit for you 24 7? And if so, how well are you promoting it? With the Expert Authority effect publishing method, it's easier and faster than ever. Visit freebusinessbookpublishingcourse.com today to learn the seven steps to publish and promote your nonfiction, lead and profit generating business book in eight weeks. Visit freebusinessbookpublishingcourse.com to get started. Now, once again, that's free business book publishing course com. Hey, thanks for listening to today's episode. I hope you got a lot out of it. I know I sure did. If you haven't done so already, I invite you to subscribe to the show and also be sure to check out eainterviews.com for complete show notes, the full interview video experience, links to the resources we mentioned, and more. Have a blessed day and I'll see you tomorrow.