0286: Navigating Life's Transitions: Connecting Your Means to Your Meaning with Speaker & Best-Selling Author Nicole Mayer

Hello, this is Nicole mayer. And with www.findyourbestlifenow.com. and you're listening to EA interviews.

EA interviews, episode 286, inspiration, transformation, success stories, and the imperfect action round. Seven days a week, join Mario Ficcini for today's expert authority effect interview.

Life transitions. Have you ever come across things in your life that maybe just didn't go as planned? I'm gonna raise my hand because it's been numerous. You know, there are so many major life transitions. How do you navigate them? That's why I'm excited to have Nicole Mayer here today on the show, author of Navigating Life's Transitions. We're gonna bring her up right after we thank our sponsor. Every business needs a book, including yours. Visit freebusinessbookpublishingcourse.com today to learn the seven steps to publish and promote your nonfiction lead and profit generating a business book in eight weeks. Once again, that's free business book publish.

Here she is, ladies and gentlemen, Nicole Mayer. Nicole, how are you feeling today?

I'm great. Thanks for having me.

Oh, it's my pleasure. I can't wait to learn more about just what you went through and how you're helping people because of it now.

Absolutely. I can't wait to share.

So tell me what inspired you to write your book?

So I'm in the financial planning business, and I think one of the things that the financial services business model is completely broken. They're there to sell products, and products are last and least important. I think people hire advisors for guidance and advice. And a lot of times you walk into a financial advisor's office, it's very country club, like, pretty nice. And it's like they are the experts on everything, and they've never gone through half the problems that you are maybe facing and needing their guidance and advice on. And I thought it's kind of always a show in this business. And I wanted to get real with people and let them know that they're not alone. Everyone goes through some form of transition, some form of roadblocks, some obstacles, and there's many different types of life transitions. And I think guiding them to and through that transition to the other side. So I think it just inspired me. I wanted to be vulnerable. I wanted to tell people what I had gone through. I had gone through quite a bit. Graduated college with a lot of student loans, ended up having a tumor on my liver. I got married, had a baby, got divorced, and then ended up having surgery and half of my liver removed. And just so many ups and downs and, you know, we plan out life and charter course and it doesn't always go as planned. So I think it was just being vulnerable, real with people and, and helping them. Give them some guidance and advice on how they can chart their path as they go through different life transitions.

So throughout that experience, and it sounds like you're. You're stronger off because of it. So congrats on that.

Thanks.

What would you say was the hardest part of it? Was it mentally going through it? Emotions? I. I mean, I can only imagine. Or the financial aspect of just the.

Uncertainty, you know, what. All of the above. But I think certainly the financial impact was huge. And then I think also realizing that, like, we go through life where we're these little kids and then we're teenagers and adults and we have this vision of what our life's going to be like. And I call it the white picket fence vision. And you think everything's going to be perfect. And I'm definitely a type A personality. So I had my whole life planned out. And when it does, from what age? From my whole life planned out, I mean, I think I was like, actually, I can tell you I wanted to go to the University of Michigan when I was in kindergarten. I was crying because I wasn't sure I would get in. And my parents are like, you're insane. You're in kindergarten. And so I wanted a tutor because I wanted to be a better reader. And so that's just been in me. I had a plan. I wanted to see my plan to fruition. And so, you know, graduate, college, things are off to a good start. And when your world around you starts to crumble, you start to realize, oh my gosh, how am I going to navigate these obstacles and these hurdles? So I think a lot of it was mental perseverance. I think we live in a world today that we can sit down and just be the victim and say, okay, well, this is the hand I was dealt. And I'm just going to, you know, cry in a corner and hope people feel sorry for me. And that just wasn't me. I needed and wanted to pick myself up, start running in the direction. I didn't know what direction I was going. And I figured it out. I figured out what I want to do and how I want to do it and just overcome the hurdles that were put in my way.

What would you say for someone going through?

You know, I'm always conflicted because I don't want to say, sure, there's not a lot of people who went through Everything you did, but even just one of those alone is a big deal. However, like I said, you're stronger for it and clearly you're successful even though you went through it. So let me just ask you, instead of guessing, let me just ask you, are you glad all that happened to help you shape the person you are now, or would you rather have had it easier? You know, and like, I wanted to say sorry you had to go through all that. Well, what if it never happened?

Right? I am so thankful that I went through this journey. It has taught me so much. I can empathize, sympathize with people that I would never have been able to do had I not gone through it. So I feel like it was my destiny. Because when clients have a health issue and they're facing something major, I've been there, I've sat in the room and had a doctor tell me, prepare for the worst, like, you may never have kids, like we might have to go do all this testing. You know, you may not live. So I've been there and I can understand, understand the challenges that they're going through. I've been through job loss, my ex husband lost his job while we were married. And that was like when I was having health issues and pregnant with a baby. I mean a million and one things. So I think it was meant to be my journey. I connect with people so much better. I can help, give guidance so much better because I've been there. And again, not that I've experienced everyone else's hardships, but at least I have been down a path where I've struggled and I've overcome it and I knew what resources and what I needed to get to and through to and through those hurdles that were put in front of me so I wouldn't change it for the world. I am who I am today because of it. I'm so beyond actually grateful that I experienced those things because I'm also appreciating and living my best life. And I don't think I would have been able to do that. And I found that many of my clients don't start actually living their best life until something happens to them. And typically it's, you know, like late in their career, they might be an executive flying all around the country all the time. They there's a job transition, the company downsizes, something happens and they look in the mirror and they're like, I'm not happy. I wasted all those years. I didn't go to my kids baseball game, I wasn't at my daughter's play. I wasn't there. And now mortality hits you, and now they're looking to say, how do I start living my life differently and how do I start living my best life? So I feel really thankful that I went through it when I did, and it certainly helped me appreciate and live life to the fullest, certainly. And live my best life going forward.

So what does transition mean to you when you hear it?

Yeah, so I think transition can mean anything, you know, honestly. It can mean literally going through a job transition. It could mean helping your aging parents. It could mean, hey, listen, I think I'm on the right track, but I'm not really sure, like, I'm in this transition of trying to figure out, like, am I on the right track of life? Am I headed in the right direction? Am I going to meet my goals? It could certainly mean a health issue.

A divorce. I mean, those are all transitions. And again, just being at. I'll say uneasy or at conflict or, you know, not sure where you're headed is a transition. You know, it's just a matter of, like, God, I just need someone to tell me that I'm on the right track. That's a transition. You know, there's something awakening in you that says, I just want to make sure that I'm headed in the right direction.

Why would you say life's transitions are so difficult?

Because I think you end up being at a crossroad. And I think people. It's an easy way for people to make mistakes. So listen, at the end of the day, you're going, you mean people. Do those make mistakes or go. Is that what you're saying? Yeah.

I mean, isn't life supposed to be perfect with that little square, you know, that straight line for success?

It's just straight up, always, always. Right. No, that's the thing. I think people believe it. And I think we live in a world today where you scroll through social media and you see a snippet of other people's lives, and it's always perfect. And you think that's how your life should be. And the funny part is the people who took that picture. Life is far from perfect. I meet with thousands of people and I hear all the stories. I kind of. I would say it's like a cover of a book. You know, all you're seeing is the COVID of the book, and it looks really good. I actually get an insight to that book, and a lot of times I realize, like, oh, gosh, my. My gosh, I wouldn't want that book. You know, you can't. You can give me enough of those books. I wouldn't want it. So life is not perfect. We definitely live where we want instant gratification. We want everything to be perfect now. And so, you know, I've been really working towards helping people live their best life. And guess what? Their best life isn't necessarily a 10,000 square foot house and a Lamborghini in the driveway. Sometimes it's understanding what's important to you. Okay, well, for me, my health and wellness is important to me. For me, spending time with my son is important to me. Those have nothing to do with material things. And I think when we start to bring it back, not to say I don't like a nice house and a nice car, but to bring it back, like, I'm living a good life if I'm fulfilling those buckets. I love to travel. I travel into 21 countries. So if I'm getting to do that, I'm living my best life. Your best life isn't always the picture that you see on Instagram.

What would you say to someone that's feeling like they're stuck in the middle of a transition right now, but they're not necessarily. They're past a little bit, but they're not fully on the other side.

I think now is the time to really sit down and evaluate what's important to you and what do you value? You know, what is it that that is important to you, to you alone? And what do you value? And as you transition to the other side of that obstacle, that road roadblock, you'll start to see is life is never going to be perfect. It's about learning to live in the gray. So we all end up doing this thing where we live in, like, utopia, everything's perfect, or we. Everything is terrible and going downhill. When you're really living your best life, you're living in that gray. And that gray is like, hey, it's not perfect. It's not terrible. It's like, it's good, you know, like, I'm totally fulfilled. So it's understanding what you value. And if you understand what you value, you can continually help remind yourself, like, I'm doing it. I'm spending time with my kid the way I want. I'm taking a trip a year the way I want, somewhere different. I'm, you know, have X amount saved in the bank. I'm hitting these goals. It's a good life. I'm feeling really good about the life I'm living.

What's the thing you're most excited about now that you get to do regularly.

So the thing I'm most excited about probably this year, and I'm so thankful for this is one reason I'm thankful for Covid is I typically work with clients. They come, they hire me. I'm a 48 different states. But the people who hire me have the means to do it. And one thing I'm excited about is I developed an online course on how to live your best life and then how to help you to and through transitions. And I'm just excited for the masses to be able to have access to this. You know, it shouldn't just be someone who, you know, was an executive at some major company, has access to me and my partners. It should be everybody has access to start living their best life today. So. So that's got me really excited the last nine months. Put a ton of work and time into it and just super excited to share it and get people start living their best life.

Let's talk about the finances of this because I know that's what you help them with.

Yep.

Have you heard what would you say is transition anxiety? And how would having your finances in order.

Lessen that, lower that, or full out, eliminate that.

Perfect. So I'll talk about it through job transition because that's one of the easiest ones is all of a sudden you find yourself in job transition, you know, your company downsized or your position's no longer available, and you know that's huge. You don't have a paycheck coming in anymore. And you know, or here. Covid impacted your. Covid impacted your work or your job in some way. Well, it's really easy to get anxious and let's just say you had a certain salary where you were working. It's really easy to get anxious and not necessarily make that same salary. So this is where I say we're gonna sit down and find out what's important to you, what do you value and really what does it cost for you to live your life the way you want? And sometimes we find that people don't actually need the job that was so stressful and giving them a ton of anxiety. They weren't happy at they can make $5,000 less and be 10 times happier, or they can make $5,000 less & they're happy to pick up their hobby, which now gives them a side income. So it's really starting to identify what makes you happy. And most people think it's like the size of your paycheck. And I'm here to tell you it's not. Sure, money makes everything easier. It's a tool. But when you really identify, like, what's important, what you really need, you're sometimes surprised that you don't have to go back to the grind that you were at. And I call it the hamster reel. Sometimes you don't have to necessarily do that. You can start to identify and release some of that anxiety once you get educated about your.

Situation.

I'm smirking because you said something about a hamster wheel and I have a surprise for you later on.

Why would you say transitions are so difficult when they're so.

Empowering?

You know, I think we want life to be easy and I find transitions empowering. And I'm one. Like, I'm a change agent. I love changing things in my business all the time. I love disruption because I think that's how you become greater and greater as a person, as a business. But I would say for most people, it's super, super uncomfortable. And when they're not educated about their situation, you know, it's really, it's almost paralyzing. They don't know, like, what do I do next? You know, they. It's almost comforting to be in that hamster reel and do the same thing every single day. There's just, you know, you don't, you don't know any.

Different. Yeah, ignorance is bliss, isn't.

It? Totally. And it's like, you know what to expect. So I think people don't necessarily like not knowing what to expect. And so, you know, again, I try and always change everything into a positive. That's just always been me. I'm very glass half full. And I always think change is a positive. And I think it's also a time to like, energize you again. You know, if you are in that hamster reel and then all of a sudden you're off and you're like, oh my God, where do I go? What do I do? You know, now it's a time to like get your bearings, get back on track and you have the power, you have the control of your destination. And I just think that is just so powerful. Now again, I say that and I'm sitting on the other side of that transition. When you are in it, it's terrible when you don't know how you're going to pay your bills next or pay your kids college tuition or again, car payments, mortgage payments and all that. I mean, it is paralyzing. But I think these are moments that you can dig deep within yourself and, and you can Literally change the course of your life in the best possible way. You have the.

Control. That is so inspiring to know you can make it to the other side. And thank you again for being an example of that. How would you know you're.

Transitioning?

I think it's. You just know. Like, again, sometimes you don't know until you're, like, way past the on the other end. You know, sometimes I look back and I'm like, I don't even know how I made it through six years of, you know, terribleness that was, like, everywhere I turned, there was a landmine blowing up. But I think I kept feeling like I was constantly moving, and I was moving in a direction I wasn't standing still. And I think if you are constantly looking at all the positives. And one thing I do is I practice a lot of gratitude. So something I do every night, it's something I started to do when I was going through a ton of transition. And I think that is a huge thing for people to do to start to realize you're headed on the other side. And that is looking each night. And for me, I do it at night, literally. I don't use a notebook. I don't use anything. Like, I tell people it's super simple. When I get in bed at night, I literally plug my phone in and I just lay there. And it might be 30 seconds, but I'm just like, okay, these are the three things that were super positive in my day, even if the day was crappy. I find three things, and then I am so thankful for the following, whatever it is. And it's amazing how it literally starts to rewire your brain, because I think when you are going through transition, you can get stuck in this, like, negative wheel in your head, and especially if thing after thing after thing keeps happening to you. You can become the victim. You can become totally negative Nelly, and everything's terrible. So it takes work. And I think that's who perseveres and gets to the other side are the people willing to put in the work. Nothing ever comes easy, but if you're willing to put in that work, and so much of it is a mental.

Game. How long have you been doing the Gratitude.

For? So I started doing the Gratitude. It'll probably be about eight years. Eight years. I do it, and I do it religiously. I saw a speaker who wrote a book about the Happiness Advantage, the Happiness Project, and Harvard grad and talked about the science behind actually rewiring your brain. And so I did it. And sometimes I find myself like, oh, I forgot to do it last night, or I didn't do it, or I was so tired. And I can tell when I'm not practicing it, like, I can get in a downward spiral, a little negative. And so it's something I seriously religiously do every single night. Been doing it for eight years, and it's literally changed my.

Life. Wow, that's. I'm happy to hear that because I practice it.

Also.

Okay. And I know people that do. 11, 11, 1, 2, 3, 4, 4, 4, 4. Like, specific times.

Or first thing in the morning today, you know, I'm thankful for the opportunities today. The gratitude rock. That's smart, though. Before bed, I will say I've done it on occasion, but it hasn't been part of the routine. And now I'm going, yeah, I can throw it in there, too, because I'm generally in a good mood. And same thing. I'll think back to, hey, today was great. Got to meet you, got to interview you. Had a great time. But was I intentional in saying, okay, deliberately every day, every night before bed, I'm doing this.

I'm aware of it, but the intentionality isn't there. So thank you for that. I'm going to start doing that.

Myself. Yeah, I highly recommend it. And for me, it's just like, I also put out there, like, whatever put out in the universe, whoever, if you have a higher power. But I'm always like, just keep surrounding me with really good people and people that empower me to be my best version of myself. So that's just something I totally put out there, and it's come to me tenfold. So it's pretty amazing. Literally 30 seconds, 20 to 30 seconds right before you go to bed can change your.

World. Yeah. And I'll say in the morning, too, like, first thing, even before I leave the room today, I'm looking forward to and just starting the day on a high note, too. It's like, hey, you know what? Today is going to be a good day. It's like the world's on fire. The car may have been blown up, but still going to be a good day because those are.

Temporary.

Absolutely. So with all the success you've created in your life and been able to help with other people, who is the biggest success story that you've been able to give them a.

Transformation? Oh, I have a couple and one I'm thinking of because I just talked to the other day, but I have a client. He was a very big attorney here in Chicago, Spent his whole career being an attorney. Has three kids, worked a long hours to make partner and do all that. Finally retired at 70 and one of his passions and kind of looked back and realized like he hadn't been living his best life. You know, he got in the, the hamster wheel of life and working on the, working in the grind of things, but hadn't necessarily been living his best life. And here he is, he's leaving for Nepal to go climb Mount Everest the second time. I mean, it's unreal story. And he called the other day just to say, here's a rundown just in case, God forbid something happens to me. My wife knows where everything is and you have everything. But it's just amazing because one of the things we did with him was really to look back and say, what do you want to be doing? What's going to make you happy? And how can you be living your life better? He was in a transition. And listen, money wasn't an object. It didn't matter. Again, it doesn't matter if you have 5 million, $10 million or you don't even have $1,000 in the bank. That doesn't make you happy. And I think realizing for him, like he had missed out on so much. And so he is 75, and the last five years of his life, he's done the most amazing, amazing things and everything that he's passionate about. And he said when he hung up the phone the other day, he's like, oh, I saw one of your YouTube videos. And he goes, I just have to say, like, I'm actually living my best life. And it was just, it was so heartwarming to hear that, that he was doing it. And it just, it's just awesome. Awesome to see someone like literally seizing the day into it they're excited.

About that is definitely inspiring. I mean, for anyone at any age to not only realize it, but to come to that conclusion and start living it. But at that age, most people are winding down and he's going, let's make up for lost time. Let's do.

It. Totally. And I would say, you know, he's another one of my stories because he waited and he's been fortunate. You know, time has been on his side and he's gotten five amazing years, but time isn't on everyone's side. And so there's a thing about, you know, we hear the saying, like, live for today, but, like, what does that mean? You know, every day is not going to be a party. You got to go to work, you got to do things. So how can you be living a more fulfilled life today. And one thing I tell people to do a lot is write your eulogy. I know it sounds crazy, but how do you want to be remembered? And it is amazing when you write out how you want to be remembered, how you start living your life way differently. It is so insane and so amazing because how you want to be remembered is not going to be the house you live in, the car you drive, the clothes you wear. And it's amazing how you will truly start living.

Differently. Wow. That's a great expert authority, insight, and very powerful. You got me thinking. And.

Okay, well.

I like that.

We'Re gonna do what I promised earlier before we thank our sponsor. And it's the wheel of whatever. And I'll give you one clue what this.

Is.

Oh, is it a hamster.

Wheel? It may just be.

Do you want yellow or.

Black? I'll do.

Yellow.

Oh, look at that. Look, it stopped right on the one we need right there.

So my question for you is, what's part of your eulogy that you're working.

On?

Great question. So one of the things that I want, that's something that's important to me is, like, when someone comes across, crosses my path, whoever they are, I really want to make an impact on their life. And I know that may sound cheesy, but, you know, we look at today, the world we live in, and there's so much divisiveness and angriness and just a lot of anger built up with people. And I am very methodical and about anger not being. Anger, unhappiness, not being part of me and part of my plan, because I do want people I come across to be impacted, however they cross my path. And, you know, sometimes it's a short time, whether it's a friend, a client, personal relationship, it's a short time, and sometimes it's longer. But I want them to cross my path and be better for it. So I really practice this where, like, is it going to matter five minutes from now, five years from now is going to change my world? If it's not, I'm not. It's not. I'm not going to be upset about it. I'm not going to worry about it. It's not going to keep me up at night. And that's something that's just been super impactful because I want people. I think about it when I'm no longer here, I really want people to say how inspiring I was and how nice I was and kind and, you know, that they were. They felt Better that I was in a room next to them. So that's something I strive for every.

Day. Excellent. Well, thank you for sharing that and all that you have. We are going to thank our sponsor and come back for the imperfect action route. You've heard me say every business needs a book, including yours. And it's true. And that's why you should visit freebusinessbook publishingcourse.com today to learn the seven steps to publish and promote your nonfiction lead and profit generating business book in eight weeks. But you know what, don't take my word for it. Take it from a few of my authors like Lori, I went from.

Having an idea and a possibility to actually getting my book.

Published. Or Catherine, thank you for making.

My mom number one best selling.

Author. Or Mary Alice, what he got.

Done for me in three days regarding my book launch.

Unmanageable. John Cody. I've worked with Mario over the phone and online and he's been very helpful in getting me where I needed.

To go with promoting my books. Rocio, there's no way in the world I would have been able to do this with somebody else again. I've attempted it in the past. It didn't serve me. As a matter of fact, I ended up more frustrated than anything. So this has been a very seamless process. If you're looking for an amazing business coach, I highly recommend Mario Ficcini or Bill.

Benner. I can't make a higher recommendation than to work with Mario Ficini. He has been great for me and right now I won't work with.

Anybody else except for.

Mario. Hey, their words, not mine. Visit freebusinessbookpublishingcourse.com to get started now. And I look forward to hearing your transformation as the next video success story. Once Again, that's free businessbook publishingcourse.com and we're back with the imperfect action round. Nicole, are you ready to take imperfect.

Action? I sure.

Am. All right, I got a couple questions for you. 60 second or less answers. The first one is what is the fastest path to the cash?

Ooh. The fastest path to the cash is start running. Start doing whatever you need to do to get going on whatever it is you vision or want. Or again, if it's if you have a dream, if you have a vision of something, start moving. Paralysis is an over analysis is paralysis. So stop overanalyzing and just get moving in the right direction. The plan will come.

Together. Oh, I like that. Number two, what is the biggest problem you see your prospects making and the fastest way for them to fix.

It being super short sighted and not thinking big picture. So everyone thinks that their problem is money or rate of return in their accounts or something like that. 99% of the time that's not the problem. The problem is they don't have direction, they don't have a plan, they don't have what's what they value. And I think getting a sound financial plan is really what puts them in the place. So investments are a commodity. You can get them anywhere. What you can't get is guidance and.

Advice. Nice. Number three. What is the.

Number three? What is the best way to maximize customer lifetime.

Value? Service. Service, service. You have to be giving good service to maximize the value that you give to your clients. Anyone can give a product, anyone can give, you know, transactional things. But if you're not giving an amazing service, and we have a rule here at my business, all of my team members, it's the golden rule. Treat others as you want to be treated. And you know what? I have very high expectations when I am getting service from another business. And so I want that same service level and better exceeding expectations every time for our.

Clients. Excellent. You mentioned one earlier, but I'm sure you have a few more. What books would you recommend to Expert Authority.

World? Oh gosh, I have so many. So Happiness Advantage is one of them. Also the who not how is another good book I actually just finished. Especially if you're trying to scale your business, make it bigger and better. Who Not How. And then the Millionaire Next Door is always a good one. It always keeps keeps me grounded and in direction that I want to go.

Personally. Why don't you throw yours on there.

Too? Oh, and navigating life's transitions is a good one. Certainly. It's great. Six short stories and different people, different parts of their lives going through transitions and my partner, my business partner and my story intertwined.

Throughout. Excellent. And I appreciate you mentioning who not how. I actually had Dr. Benjamin Hardy on the.

Show. Oh.

Great. Yeah. Well, this has been awesome. Where would you like people to learn.

More? You can go to find your best life now.com and if you put in I will give you a promotional code. Podcast is the promotional code 50% off. I'll take you through your life living your best life course and more courses are constantly being added. Lots of content and certainly a way to get you from where you are today to where you want to.

Go. Excellent. Well, thank you very much. It's been a.

Pleasure. Thank you for having.

Me. All right, Expert Authority World, we have another great episode here today. I'll see you tomorrow. Have a great day and God bless.

You're already the expert, but have you transformed your expertise into a tangible asset that will generate and qualify leads while increasing profit for you 24? 7? And if so, how well are you promoting it? With the Expert Authority Effect publishing method, it's easier and faster than ever. Visit freebusinessbookpublishingcourse.com today to learn the seven steps to publish and promote your nonfiction, lead and profit generating business book in eight weeks. Visit freebusinessbookpublishingcourse.com to get started. Now once again, that's freebusinessbookpublishingcourse.Com hey, thanks for listening to today's episode. I hope you got a lot out of it. I know I sure did. If you haven't done so already, I invite you to subscribe to the show. Also, be sure to check out eainterviews.com for complete show notes, the full interview, video experience, links to the resources we mentioned, and more. Have a blessed day and I'll see you tomorrow.