0440 | Carrington Smith

Hi, this is Carrington Smith Trebeau, president of Carrington Legal Search and author of Blooming, coming to you from EA Interviews.

EA Interviews, episode 440, inspiration, transformation, success stories and the Imperfect Action Round. Seven days a week, join Mario Ficcini for today's Expert Authority Effect interview. Have you ever felt like your life isn't perfect? Have you ever felt like, you know what, there's a lot of, let's say, messy situations going on? I know I have and that's why I'm excited to have Carrington Smith on today's episode. She has overcome so much and I'm going to let her get into that. But she is an attorney. She's overcome a lot. She's going to help you. And she is the best selling author of Blooming. I'm going to bring her up right after we thank our sponsor. Every business needs a book, including yours. And that's why I'm launching my new book to help you regardless of where you think your current writing abilities are. Visit eapublishingmethodbook.com today to learn the seven steps to publish and promote your nonfiction, lead and profit generating business book in eight weeks. Once again, that's eapublishingmethodbook.com Here she is, ladies and gentlemen, the lovely Carrington Smith. Carrie, how are you feeling today?

I am doing great. It's beautiful, 82 degrees and sunny here in Austin.

That's fantastic for you. It is nowhere near that here in Detroit.

I'm teasing you. I know you live in a beautiful area and so I know you went to Tulane Law School. So have you been in Austin your whole life or is that just where you made home?

I grew up primarily in the Seattle area and then I briefly attended Washington State University, transferred to the University of Texas at Austin. Go Longhorns. And then I went to law school at Tulane. And I have to say, go Green Wave. I mean, we just made the top 10 in the coaches poll nationally, so that's pretty big stuff for the Green Wave.

It sounds like you're enjoying things now, but I know that that wasn't always the case. Can you take us from how you grew up with the silver spoo to everything you went through and then overcame it?

Wow. Okay. Well, I literally wrote a book, so I don't know that I can cover all that.

But yeah, I was born to a.

Upper crust family. I was actually born in Philadelphia, briefly lived in Maryland before we moved to Seattle. But my great, great grandfather actually founded International Paper Company. So for those who aren't familiar. It's the largest paper company in the world, traded on the New York Stock Exchange. And I have another grandfather who actually had a seat on the New York Stock Exchange. They both founded banks and many other companies. And so coming from a family that really was from the Great Gatsby era and hung out with the Astors, the Vanderbilts, the duponts. I mean, that was their social circle to, to come from that family. And then here I am, little old me, living in Austin, Texas. A lot happened in the interim. The number one quality that came out of my childhood experience with my extended family was that they were all very bitter. And the reason for that is because they had grown up in this society and in this lifestyle and something happened along the way where that money did not, you know, go down through the generations. It was really my grandmother that really had the last of it, and she was extremely bitter that, you know, of her change in circumstances. So my family was very, very focused on maintaining social status and going to all the right schools, being members of all the right country clubs. And that was the primary focus of my family.

I was the baby in my family. I had a brother who went to Stanford, a sister who went to USC and to Ms. Porter's school, which is important to my story. And then of course, I initially was asked to go in state to Washington State University because my parents were paying for Stanford and for usc. And so I was the third child and basically told that it was most important to take care of that firstborn male. And then my sister, being the eldest daughter, she was invited to go to Ms. Porter's, which is a very elite private boarding school in the east coast where my grandmother, my mother and then my sister all attended. I was not offered that opportunity because I was the baby in the family and kind of got the leftovers and the hand me downs. So just to really show the stark example for your listeners, when we were in high school, my sister was at Ms. Porter's going to debutante balls all over the east coast and was on private jets with her friends. I was at a public high school where we would go party in a vacant lot with a keg. So if that doesn't, we could not have had more different experiences in high school. And people would think that I would be really bitter about that. But I've come to realize that there are gifts and all of these things that happen to you in life. And I am definitely, you know, have benefited from my own life experience and what I went through. And, and I'm. I'm the one child that's super happy. So, you know, there is no bitterness there.

But.

Why would you say it is? You are so happy now?

Honestly?

Well, a lot of it has to do with mindset. I really believe that happiness is a choice. And as I went through all these struggles in life and kept going, why am I so unhappy? How can I find happiness? What is going to make me happy? Who is going to make me happy? I came to realize I was going to make me happy. That happiness was a daily and moment by moment decision we make. We choose happiness. And once I understood that, it absolutely changed my life.

You tell me I can't just do it once and just ride that wave the rest of my life.

No, it is a moment by moment decision. I mean, and I tell people I talk about mindset a lot because in every bad thing that happens to us, it could be something really, really small or something really, really big. How we choose to view that and the story that we tell ourselves will determine not only the outcome of that event, but how we view ourselves and whether or not we are happy. Let me give you. I love to give this example because it is.

Please give us an example.

I was just asking. Yeah. So I took a trip to Las Vegas. This is a very small thing, but I went on a trip to Las Vegas with a girlfriend. We had made reservations at a restaurant called Olives, which was at the Bellagio overlooking the fountains. And I don't think the restaurant's still there, but it had this outdoor patio where we could watch the fountains. It was the new thing. The Bellagio was the place to be. And so we go, we have our dinner, and there's umbrellas kind of over the tables and whatnot outside. And just as we finished our dinner, I stood up, and at that particular moment, a wind gust captured one of the fountains, and it was like a tidal wave came over me and drenched me from head to toe. I was literally standing in, like, six inches of water. My friend was still under the umbrella, so she didn't get doused, but I was soaked, and she was looking at me with expectation, like, is our night ruined? Like, girl, it took you like two hours to get ready. Are we ever going to get out of here? What's going to happen? And I remember looking over at her and understanding that look on her face, I realized I had a decision to make. And that was, how was I going to perceive this event? So I turned to the waiter who was standing there and I said, has this ever happened before? And he said, no. This has never happened before. I am like, so the odds. The odds of this happening are, like, crazy. You know, this has never happened. And he is like, yeah. And I said so. I mean, I was blessed by the holy water, and I am going to win tonight, if. Is that what you're telling me? And so I took that attitude and quickly changed my clothes, dried my hair, was out of there in no time. Like, girl, we got to get out there because I'm winning tonight. She still wanted to argue with the manager of the restaurant because they didn't offer to comp our meal.

I was like, she was upset with the manager for not controlling the wind proper.

Thank you. I saw it as a decision on how I was going to view that night, my trip, all of that, and immediately got into that headspace and turned it into. It was one of the best nights we had. But I actually had to shake her and say, I don't care about. They're not copying our meal. Who cares? Let's get going. Let's go. Have fun. But it's those. It's those decisions. And the other example I give is, like, if you get a flat tire, we all. You pull over the side of the road, you're cursing and swearing. My day is screwed. My schedule. I got to tell everybody. You got to cancel my meetings. Instead, if you take that moment and say, oh, my God, I just got an hour back in my day, or I am forced to sit here on the side of the road, I can call my best friend. I've been dying to talk to her. I haven't had the time. I can listen to that audiobook or podcast that I've been wanting to listen to. I actually have the free time. What a gift this is. I get an hour back in my day. It's all about how we choose to view that event and what we do with it.

I can actually relate to that. You're making me think of three, four years ago, before I got run flats. I actually was like, I did a live stream from the side of the freeway going, I've been meaning to do this all week. I've been that busy. How's it going?

And people are like, are you okay? Do you want me to come down there? I'm like, we're good. It's not an earthquake. It's an inconvenience.

Right, Exactly.

And I got to speak on that fountain again because.

I always say I'm cracking up, but you can see me smirking. When we had the eclipse a few years ago, I remember seeing Something on Facebook. And it was like they made an event to view it. How cool. It's once in a lifetime opportunity or whatever. And of course, there was someone in the comments that's like, this is an inconvenient time because people are going to be at work. And the follow up comment was, is this lady really asking to reschedule the sun? I'm like, that's hilarious. But people, right?

Yes. That's so absurd. Yeah, that's hysterical. Yeah.

Why do you think people have this attitude of or air of.

I don't know. I know that really, though, everything does revolve around you because it is your world, but just this. I don't know, is it arrogance or entitlement or. Help me out here. What. What is. Where does this come from?

Well, actually.

My good friend David Meltzer, who I went to law school with, a lot of your list you may not know. Yeah. A lot of your listeners may know who he is, he talks about.

And it also. Ryan Holiday wrote a book, Ego is the Enemy. He talks about the need to be offended and how that is part of our ego and how we need to let go the need to be offended. And when I heard him say that, that really made me think about the times when I like to say I don't get my panties in the wad much, but, you know, on the occasions that I do, what is it really about? It's about my ego.

And if you understand that your ego is only getting in the way of your happiness, if you can just let it go and say, I don't need to be offended, I don't need to be upset that this is an inconvenience.

Is that a societal thing that we're conditioned just with years of whatever? Or is it. Do you think it's a hardwired thing where it's like part of every single human that they're looking for conflict, maybe in a weird subconscious way of being powerful and overcoming.

I think it's a human thing. I think it's human nature. I really think that a lot of these things, that maybe you or I, we spend enough time talking to people and learning these things, they just seem like second nature. Like, oh, you just change your mindset or, you know, you understand about ego and its role and how you live your life and how it impacts your decisions. But I think a lot of people don't. And that's why these podcasts and whatnot are so important, because it really helps wake people up and realize, wait a second, you mean I'm Getting in my own way. All these times I'm getting mad and I'm going online and writing a big, nasty review about somebody that's about my ego. I mean, maybe there's a better way to do that where you're not putting out all that negative energy.

I mean, maybe write it in a journal before it becomes negative. Maybe put the negative in the journal so that way you're not. What's that quote? If you never repair the cut, you'll bleed on the people. If you never repair the wound, you'll. You'll keep bleeding on the people who didn't hurt you. Yeah, like, wow.

Exactly. Yeah. Well, so one of the things about these, you know, like writing a negative review or something, is that it's.

I think there. If you. If you stop and you write, if you write that letter to yourself before you ever send it to someone else or post it, then you're better equipped to actually think about, how can I make this conversation constructive and turn it from a negative into a positive? I went through this once, actually, with my. With. I won't say who it was. I went through it once with a vendor that I was using. And I was really upset about something, but I really cared about this vendor, had a relationship, like an emotional friendship, sort of with them. So I really wanted them to be better at what they were doing. And so I made an appointment, I had a discussion with them, and I said, I really want you to be better at what you're doing, and I want to point out to you how this impacted me and how it made me feel, and let me make some suggestions on how maybe this could be changed. It was honestly. And luckily, they were so amazing. It was the most positive conversation. We both came away going. I said, wow, you are so good at receiving constructive criticism. I mean, they were like, oh, this is great. Let me figure out how we can embrace this and make these changes. And they said to me, you are so good at giving it.

And that instead of this negativity that was going out there, we both came away feeling empowered. We both got something great out of it. And so I think that if we, at every moment in time, stop and say, what do I want to be putting out there, right? And what do I want to be getting back? And just kind of thinking these things through, it really, really can make a difference.

I'm glad you're sharing this and honestly wrote the whole book on it, because.

Just in a personal interaction, I don't know if I said it or. But I was thinking of the negative people, like, they're just, like, dumping all their trash on you. And it's one thing to do it, and it's another thing to be, like, at a party or social event where everyone, like, the whole reason they're there is because we all had a busy week.

Right.

You don't want it. You definitely don't want to be the person in that situation. But from a business standpoint, how paramount do you think it is to not be turning off vendors, clients, customers, and partnerships?

Huge. I mean, I think that the biggest mistake that a lot of people make is not understanding that you are your brand. And so, and particularly now after Covid, where with the advent of the zoom call, we've seen people's personal lives, there's really been this blending of the personal and professional Personas. And so how you act and how you operate with the least of them can absolutely be determinative of what you receive in return. And, you know, I'll give an example of that. Where my neighbor had noticed some negative interactions with. I live in a building that's in a hotel. I mean, residences that are above a hotel. And so we oftentimes go to the hotel restaurant and bar to eat. And so a lot of the residents are down there and had gotten feedback from one of the bartenders about negative interactions with other residents in the building. And they, of course, think they're just kind of going through life not understanding how this bartender was able to share this negative experience that impacted other relationships. Once we understood really, who this person really was when other people weren't looking. So, yes, from the smallest to, you know, the biggest, all those interactions, how we treat everyone matters.

Yeah. I'd never say treat people like crap just because you're traveling and you're just passing through. You might. One, it's wrong. Two, you might go back there. Three, especially if you're living there.

Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, it really.

It's so important.

It's reminding me of the shopping carts.

Put the shopping carts back at the grocery store or not. Like, some people just throw them into other cars. Other people take the time. It's like, how you do it. How you do everything is how you do how you do anything is how you do everything.

Absolutely. Yeah. How you show up in the world and ask yourself, how am I going to show up today? I mean, that's something that I do every day. How am I going to choose to show up?

Do you have a process for this?

For. For which? For mindset or for.

Yes, for the mindset. Like okay. Every day I do A, B and C, because I can tell for you it's super easy. We're joking about, you know, flat tire and all of this. And you made the comment, oh, it's easy for us because now it is. The first few years, it was like, okay, I don't care if this takes me 10 hours, I'm gonna find the good in it, because I know it'll get easier and easier and easier. That'll. I mean, it's not easy. I'd say even the first five years, it's like you have to change. Whether you start at 15 or 20, you still have 15 or 20 years.

I think that's really important for people to understand is that this is a journey. It's a marathon, not a sprint. You know, it's. When I start my book.

I talk about being raped in college and people say, how the heck can you find good in being raped? And you're right. That's kind of a mind blower, right? Yeah. But what I really believe that the only way we get stronger is through being tested. And so it's in the fire, it's in the tough times that we become resilient and we become honed into who we were meant to be. And so we don't grow, though, if we don't experience tough times. I mean, I actually, when I interviewed executives, I look for the tough times. I want to hear the stories of how they've overcome obstacles and because if they haven't, then they are not equipped to run a business.

Okay, so important.

So for me, I went back and I wrote about the rape. I did this self examination of saying, you know, how can I view this as a good thing? What I learned from my life experience was that through that experience, I understood that I was a survivor. And people tell me to this day that I have a presence about me, that I have a quiet confidence. And I really attribute that to all of the terrible things that I have been through. Because once you have been through tough times, when you show up, you are basically saying, what else? I got this. Bring it. You know, and having been through all these experiences and being able to turn them around and find how they can be used to not. Not drain you, but instead propel you forward through life. Being able to grasp that has been such a gift. And what you were saying earlier about people dumping on you. One of the things I do talk about in my book is how. I mean, the book's name is Blooming because I. And the subtitle is Finding Gifts in the shit of life. And that. That word is very deliberate. It's actually a double entendre. And that is because shit is quite literally fertilizer. And it's in the debris of life. It's in the fire, it's in the failures, it's in the traumas, it's in the shit that we find the nutrients we need to grow into our greatness. And I talk about how as I'm blooming and I'm using the things, I'm using the shit to fertilize me now and grow into my greatness. I view myself as a garden now with a fence around it. I didn't used to have boundaries. I have very strong boundaries now where if you're just wanting to come take a dump on my life.

You'Re not allowed in. You are like a rodent that is not allowed in a garden. You are just not allowed in. And so really recognizing who are the rodents in your life who are just there to take and dump on you helps you to raise the flag and say, you're not allowed in here. This is a safe space. I'm past all that. I don't need you in my life anymore. It's okay to move past those people.

It has a great outlook. Better than I could come up with because I still think it's horrific and horrible. And I'm sorry, but I'll also say, yeah, okay, I agree. I'm not going to disagree. You find the good and the bad, but there's other events you can still have that are bad, that aren't horrific, in all fairness. But I get the point. I get the attitude. I love it. I just. That's one of the. That just bothers me for many reasons. But I love what you're saying about the boundaries. And why do you think it's so hard for people to. Okay, I got two questions. One, why do you think it's hard for people to put up boundaries regardless of what they went through? Especially if it was a lot less? And.

Would you say everything you've went through has made you more compassionate?

1,000% more compassionate? More. Actually, I would say empathetic.

Okay.

Yeah.

I think that why people have difficulty setting boundaries, I can speak from my own experience. For years, I felt that family pressure and society pressure that.

I had to maintain a relationship with my father and certain friends because there's this sort of societal pressure where, you know, you need to keep your friends for your whole life. You know, you can't just, you know, say, I'm not I am not going to put up with you anymore. And I think that is really naive because we all grow and change and our experiences change and people come in and out of our lives, and we don't have to hold on to somebody who is toxic, who is no longer growing, who has become stagnant and maybe likes to sit and wade in the mud and be miserable. We don't have to spend time with that person. We can choose other friends. We can choose other experiences. But for me, I really had to have, like, a pretty bad experience happen. My father actually wrapped his hands around my son's throat and, yes.

Basically strangled my son.

It's horrible.

That experience made me say, you know, you've done enough to me, but you're not touching my kid. You know, enough is enough, and we're done here. And that was that moment for me that it just clicked. It didn't matter what anybody said. He doesn't. In my mind, it's like, what, your dad has to be like a child molester or a murderer for you to be able to say, I'm done? No. There are people who are, you know, in some ways more toxic just because they're constantly in your business. And so for me, I knew that in order for me to thrive and live, I had to end that relationship. And even more importantly for my children, I was like, this toxic family drama that's been going on for generations ends here. And I've gotten a lot of criticism. I mean, I literally just was about to go on a date with somebody. I was talking to him on the phone, and he said, oh, you need to make up with your father. I said, you know nothing about my father and my life experience with him. He's like, yeah, but, you know, he's your father. Here we go again. And I think it's so important that people need to know you have permission. I'm giving you permission. If there's somebody toxic in your life that is causing you harm, whether it's physical, psychological, financial, whatever it is, if they are a tap that drains you, set a boundary and hold. Hold firm to it, because those people don't get to be in your life anymore.

So would you say that you can set a boundary without exiling them?

You can.

I think you can. However, my father is a particular type of narcissist that one of the characteristics of that narcissist is they don't respect boundaries.

Okay.

So it there for me, it was like, he's out completely or because there's no boundaries with him.

And I understand that in that situation, and I was speaking more general, so you can set a boundary without exiling them. However, don't be afraid to if you need to. Yeah, okay.

This is about you taking care of yourself. And, I mean, honestly, I say I didn't really bloom, really grow and start to thrive until I ended my relationship with my father. And the reason for that is because he was a toxic substance that was constantly. You know, if you're. Every day, like I like to say, a wound can't heal if you're continuously peeling the scab off.

Right.

If someone is constantly wounding you, you can't heal. I couldn't get better and move forward until I healed.

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. But I'm so excited to hear what you're sharing now, because everyone needs to hear it. I don't wish any of that on anyone, let alone other stuff. But I can relate to.

Just things getting to a point. I think there's a lot of people who are afraid of breaking up that societal norm, looking a certain way, even though they have this great dream that's really truthfully altruistic. They want to help these people. Whether it is or not, it's their dream, but they don't go for it because of what other people think, and they maybe never had anything happen to them. So I do agree. If the bad stuff happens, it's gonna drive you to a breaking point of deciding you're either gonna go for it or not in some way, shape or form, or take a risk, whatever. I still really wish that horrible, horrific stuff like, you're sharing, like, no, you don't need to have a horrible generational toxicity to be like, oh, I don't know if I should keep dealing with this. Like.

I'm about, like, 37 levels prior to that. There's like.

Yes.

Yeah. Unfortunately, so many people get stuck there. They feel the pressure from family or friends or even some, you know, society in general, social media, whatever it is, they feel the pressure to behave a certain way. And one of the things that I've learned in addition to setting boundaries, is changing the story that you tell yourself. So, for instance, in my line of work, I would do a lot of candidate outreach, and I would find myself telling myself the story, like, oh, he's probably busy. This isn't a good time to call. He's got X, Y, and Z going on. I'm making up the story. There's no truth to the story. I don't know what this person is doing. If you change the Story. I have a gift to give that person. I have some exciting news. I have something that could change their life in a positive way. They probably can't wait to hear from me. Wow.

That changes everything.

That's huge. That for sure does.

Yep. It's about the story you tell yourself. So if you're getting stuck, stop yourself and say, what story am I telling myself? Is there any truth to it? Probably not. Change the story.

I love that.

I'm going to ask a couple of specific things in a specific part, but is there anything for someone listening right now that's going, yeah, but you don't know how bad I have. I mean.

Oh, yeah.

If they're just playing that game of, like, you don't know how bad, I. I can't imagine it being worse than what you went through, first and foremost. But there's those people who just, you know, I just. If they're just stuck, like, maybe they're not. I truthfully hope they're not as far along as you had to take it to realize it. But what could you say to just push them over the edge? Whether it's my boss, my family members, my. Whatever it is. And they just feel that even the littlest bit of friction that we can just get them over and go, you know what? You are worth it. You deserve it. Here's something you can do today.

Well, the first thing I want to say is.

Life is a roller coaster. It is.

You know, and that can be fun.

Well, this is where I'm going with that. You can either scream the whole time in horror and fear, or you can throw up your hands and enjoy the ride.

And it is, again, a decision. So for all those people who get stuck and say, woe is me. I trust you. I mean, I can say, there's someone else out there who has it worse, someone else there who has it worse, who. Who's somehow found happiness and joy and contentment because they've chosen it, they've let go. I think a lot of people hang on to this victimhood, and it's a choice to not be a victim. It's a choice to move past it. Those are choices. And so I just suggest that they start small, but stop viewing themselves as a victim and start looking for what quality or benefit is this bringing me. And maybe I can't see it quite yet, but somebody said to me once, with adversity comes opportunity. So now, whenever something bad happens, I ask myself, where is the opportunity in this? It's there somewhere. I just need to look for it. Start there.

It's rare than even being around people all the time and helping people and publishing their books. And like, it's still rare. It used to really irritate me, like, why isn't everyone more positive? But now I'm like, when I find the right people like you, it's like, this is really a blessing to know who they are because there's, you know, there's the people who do the quotes all the time, but do they embody it? Do they live it? There's a difference from I like the idea of it to this is me.

So that's been one of the biggest challenges with writing this book. And I actually said to my assistant, I said, it's so important that when we put stuff out on social media or out there promoting this book that I am living this. I said, so if you ever catch me not living what I'm doing, saying what I've written in this book, call me out, please.

Nice.

Yeah, I love that. I can tell. I can tell. And you absolutely do have a calming presence and confidence. And I could tell even before we started, but for sure. And I'm sure everyone listening, watching, feels the same. So thank you for sharing everything you did. I got to ask you about the wheel of whatever. Oh, you want yellow or black?

Yellow.

Oh, that's a good question. You see right there?

Yeah.

Okay, so my question for you is.

For someone going through all of. Nope, nope, we already covered that. Where's somewhere you would like to travel that you haven't been before?

The place that's top of my list, for some reason it keeps coming up is Morocco.

Oh.

Don't know why, but it's where I want to go next.

Okay, that is a nice place. All right, we're going to thank our sponsor and come back for the imperfect action round. You've heard me say every business needs a book, including yours. And it's true. And that's why I'm launching my new book@eapublishingmethodbook.com so you can learn the seven steps to publish and promote your nonfiction lead and profit generating business book in eight weeks. But you know what, don't take my word for it. Take it from a few of my authors, like Lori, I went from having.

An idea and a possibility to actually getting my book published.

Or Catherine, thank you for making my.

Mom number one best selling authority.

Or Mary Alice, what he got done.

For me in three days regarding my book launch.

Unmanageable.

John Cody. I've worked with Mario over the phone and online. And he's been very helpful in getting me where I needed to go with promoting my books.

Rocio, there's no way in the world I would have been able to do this with somebody else again. I've attempted it in the past. It didn't serve me. As a matter of fact, I ended up more frustrated than anything. So this has been a very seamless process. Adele, if you're looking for an amazing business coach, I highly recommend Mario Ficini or Bill Benner.

I can't make a higher recommendation than to work with Mario Ficini. He has been great for me and right now I won't work with anybody else except for Mario. Hey, their words, not mine. Visit eapublishingmethodbook.com to get your copy and I look forward to hearing your transformation and is our next video success story. Once again, that's eapublishingmethodbook.com and we are back with the imperfect action round. Kerry, are you ready to take imperfect action?

I am.

I had a feeling you would be. Number one, what's the fastest path to the cash?

I think the fastest path to the cash is to be targeted in your action. Meaning I think a lot of people tend to use a shotgun approach and just shoot out at everything.

There's no spray and pray, huh?

Yes, spray and pray. And my life experience has been. And if you, when people read my book, there are stories in there about how I learned very quickly that doing my research and digging deep and then reaching out to somebody very specifically for something, you indicate your interest level that you've done your research, you get a much higher hit rate than if you just spray and pray. So be targeted in your approach.

Love that. Very good advice. I think it's funny because I talked about in my first book from 10 years ago.

Throwing the mud against the wall, shotgun approach or laser focused.

Yeah.

And it was with video marketing. It's like, are you just going to put out a ton of stuff and just hope it works or you can actually go, you know, here's what my audience wants. Yeah, it's great. Love it. Thank you so much.

Yeah.

Number two, what is the biggest problem you see your prospects making and the fastest way for them to fix it?

Well, I have two sets of prospects, which is companies and law firms versus the candidates. So I'll just say serving both of them, the biggest problem is they don't realize that they're always on the market. So for instance, I mean, I'll say this for companies and for candidates, if you have a LinkedIn profile, you should have it fully filled out, telling as much about your company or yourself as you possibly can. So somebody who's going, looking there, if they want to bring you an opportunity, whether that's, you know, for business or for yourself, that the information is there, we know who to bring it to and if you're the right fit. So understand that you're always on the market. And I mean, things may be going great for you today, but you never know what's going to happen tomorrow. Make sure what you're putting out there is honest and true and also mirrors the energy that you offer.

I love that. That's good advice because, yeah, if anyone doesn't realize the world can be an uncertain place and things change.

Right.

I'll leave it at that for now.

Yeah.

Number three, what is the best way to maximize customer lifetime value?

So I really like to view relationships, whether it's with the candidate or the client, holistically. And that means that I try to be sticky with them, developing, you know, emotional ties, making them reliant on me, you know, understanding maybe the company or politics involved. So that you make. You create a relationship where there are deep bonds on many different levels. And I'm not. I sound like I'm, you know, really think these things out. I don't. I just kind of went back and looked at where are my success stories, and my success stories have happened. Where I've created relationships, where I've created. I have to say, I show up every day. I'm only as good as my last search. So not sitting on my laurels, but really showing up engaged and present with whoever I'm working with. I mean, I have one relationship that I've had for 22 years. I've been in business. 23.

Congrats.

So, yeah, that I think, speaks to what I'm saying.

Yeah, I love that you're sharing that, because earlier when we touched on, you know, if someone has to be put up a boundary, you know, don't think you have to keep people in your life forever. But at the same point, it's not saying you can't, because I can point to clients of mine and friends of mine and stuff. And it's like, it's awesome when you find a good one early on, cherish that.

And on the other hand, I say water the plants. Again, life is a garden. If you don't water the plants, they're going to wilt. So you've got to water the relationships that matter to you.

I love how you've thought through the thematic undertones. The garden example is fantastic.

Okay, Number three, I asked you about customer lifetime value. We did that one. Okay. Been talking about books the whole time. Which ones have helped you the most in business and life?

So the book that I discuss the most in my book is the book the Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. I love that book. I literally have read it probably 10 or 12 times. I love that book because he talks about the gift of not just fear, but also intuition and how important it is to embrace it. And he shows you through the book how we operate with our conscious mind and our unconscious mind. And he also teaches us how to use labels so that when there are behaviors that should serve as red flags, he points out. And I think it's so important that if we're able to label those behaviors, then when we see them, we go, oh my gosh, that guy's co opting. He's, he's, you know, doing this or he's doing that. You recognize the behavior as a red flag. That doesn't mean this person's necessarily bad or engaged in bad things, but it's definitely a warning sign. So when you learn to pay attention to these signals from your subconscious, it can really change your life in a big way, in a positive way.

Well, thank you for the recommendation. I can say I hear of hundreds of books all the time between the show and being a publisher. Haven't heard of that one. So thank you for it.

Oh, read it. And I tell everyone to read it. It's an amazing book.

Where would you like people to learn more?

So I have two different websites. One is Carrington-Smith.com and that's where you can find about all things about the book and related podcasts and whatnot. And you can actually download the first chapter for free on that website. You can always purchase the book or listen to it on audible via Amazon.com and then my business website is carringtonlegal.com so if you are a company looking to hire your first chief legal officer or general counsel or any other in house lawyers, that's where you can find me. And we also work with partners with business.

Excellent. Well, thank you for sharing those. It's been a pleasure. I've really enjoyed this. Thank you for sharing everything you have.

I have too. I really have. Thank you.

All right, Expert authority world. We have another great episode here today. I'll see you on the next one. Have a great day. God bless. You're already the expert. But have you transformed your expertise into a tangible asset? That will generate qualified leads while increasing profit for you 247 and if so, how well are you promoting it? With my new book, the Expert Authority Effect Publishing Method, I take you through my process step by step. Visit eapublishingmethodbook.com today to learn the seven steps to publish and promote your nonfiction, lead and profit generating business book in eight weeks. Visit eapublishingmethodbook.com to get started. Now. Once again, that's eapublishing method book.com thanks for listening to today's episode. I would love to know what you enjoyed most from it if you haven't done so already. I invite you to connect with me on my new LinkedIn. You can go to it directly at eainterviews.com LinkedIn Once again, that's eainterviews.com LinkedIn. Lastly, check out the full eainterviews.com site for complete show notes, the full interview video experience, links to the resources we mentioned, and more. Have a blessed day and I'll see you on the next one.