0504 | Steve Gallegos

Hello, I'm Steve Gallegos. I'm an attorney and communications trainer. And I'm so excited to be here with you, Mario. And you're listening to EA interviews.

EA interviews episode 504, inspiration, transformation, success stories and the imperfect action round. Seven days a week. Join Mario Ficcini for today's expert authority effect interview. Ladies and gentlemen, have you ever thought about speaking? Have you thought about authoring a book? Maybe communicating better? All of these things are well and good for business and I highly recommend them. Absolutely. But are you doing it the way you should be doing it? Are you just kicking it with a stick? Do you have it really refined? I am super excited to have Steve Gallegos today on today's episode. And he's super impressive speaker. He's got his new, new books, he's got his trainings, he has all these things. And he's going to be sharing with us how to be more natural in your communication. I'm going to bring him up right after we thank our sponsor. Every business needs a book, including yours. And that's why I'm launching my new book to help you regardless of where you think your current writing abilities are. Visit eapublishingmethodbook.com today to learn the seven steps to publish and promote your nonfiction lead and profit generating business book in eight weeks. Once again, that's eapublishingmethodbook.com Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, Steve Gallegos. Steve, how are you feeling today?

Outstanding, Mario. How could I be anything less for being here on your show? This is exciting.

I'm excited too, because I'm ready to learn. To be honest, I'm always looking to improve and you know, I, I really don't think I could learn from someone better. I was watching that sizzle reel and I'm like, wow, this is pretty good. I wonder. I should sit back and relax. I'm like, oh wait, I have to host. So we're gonna have some fun. But why do you think so many people are nervous and how do we make them sound more natural?

I love that question, Mario. And I get it all the time. And first of all, I want to thank you for displaying an exemplifying your genius. Because when you say you bring in these incredible guests on your show and the first thing you think about wow is I can learn from, from these folks. That's the hallmark of a genius, is that you always should keep learning and educating yourself regardless of where you are in life and where you think you've achieved and Arrived, you really haven't got it all. So congratulations to you for that, but thank you. Sure. But to answer your question, you know, it's, it's, it's phenomenal. We shouldn't be afraid. We shouldn't be afraid of speaking because we do it all the time, right? We, we every day we go out and speak at work.

Some people more than others.

Exactly. Some more than others. And some should speak less. You're absolutely right. And I don't know. Well, we won't go into that, but I think.

Please do.

No, this is your show, not cnn. And but here's the thing. All of us, the majority of us, when we were growing up, we were heard one of a couple of things. Shut up and be quiet. You don't know anything. Just sit there and look pretty or children are to be seen and not heard. Right? The majority of us. So as a result, we take that training, that programming into our adult life and we wonder why it's so difficult for us to talk about ourselves because we were never trained to do it. And those times that you did talk about yourself when you were in school, you were called braggadocious. You're called, you know, who do you think you are better than others? You know all this stuff. And so time comes to raise our hands and we're like, no, not gonna go there. And so that's why most people, a lot of people, professionals, CEOs, right? People in the C suite, athletes. If you've ever watched an interview, like, Dallas Cowboys are my favorite. You ever watch the Dallas Cowboys be interviewed after the game and they ask these questions and oh my goodness, it's embarrassing. It really is. These are hugely talented people that make hundreds of thousands of millions of dollars and they have fun and they're very good at what they do. But when it comes to expressing themselves, a lot of people are in trouble.

I have noticed that. And I'll even say certain actors and actresses and they're great on camera. But when it's something like this, like an interview or they're promoting something, I'm like, holy smokes. They're just like the brand newest person at the local such and such group that's like, just look, you know? And I will say congrats to anyone who is stepping out and going, hey, I'm trying to learn more and everything. But I've noticed there's also this like, second tier of people who's like, yes, like, they're like, what? You're parading around in front of the nine people that are Here, like you're all that, like, you know what I mean? It's like there's different levels of this, but all of them are there for a reason. And anytime someone shows up somewhere, I want to give them credit, but everyone's looking for more and trying to be better, even if you are the best. I've said, you know, I think a good litmus test is the sharks and shark tank. Even they say, you know, I still have fear, I still have this, I still have self doubt, but I, you know, I push through it and it's like, okay, if they're still going through, I guess I could read one more book, definitely publish another one and just keep going on because we never figure it out. And when we do, the world changes. And it's like, okay, now we have a new set of rules to play by.

Indeed. And, and to touch on that just a little bit more. Mario, you brought up a really good point. Because a lot of coaches, trainers, success coaches are out there, life coaches are out there teaching you to, you know, live to your potential. You gotta strive to your potential. And I'm saying, no, you never want to reach your potential. Why? Because potential, Mario, as you know, is, that's it. There's no more beyond potential. Right? If I want to fill up this glass, this glass has a potential and it's right there. Beyond that, I can't fill it up. And so what I teach people and guide people have for many years is that live to your capacity, live to increase your capacity. Because now that's every day, that's every moment. But once you hit your potential, you think you've hit your potential, you're perfect, you're better than Jesus. You're, you're better, you're God, you're better than God.

Yeah, I know people that think that too. Can't we reach our potential though? That way we can have a day off, but, and just relax. But I, I, in all seriousness, I get what you're saying because, yeah, I mean, I've said that's my own personal hell. Being in the same place I was a year ago, let alone 10 years ago, I really can't wrap my head around how people. And I've tried to figure it out. It's like it's been 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years and you haven't gone from here to that. Like.

You don't need to read a book a week, but an article a year and implement it. Maybe. Like, I feel bad if it's like 24 to 48 hours later I'm like, what's going on? We need to pick this up.

Yeah, yeah.

But. So what do you say to someone who.

Now that I just offended someone, what do you say to them that's like.

How do we give them that kick in the motivation area?

Oh, that's another good question, Mario. And anytime that people say, hey, you're a motivational speaker, or can I hire you to come motivate my. My sales team or my.

Have you ever built yourself as a motivational speaker?

Never.

Me neither.

Ever. And. And you probably know why. Because you're a brilliant dude. I can't motivate anybody. I cannot. I can inspire.

Okay, tell me more.

But I cannot motivate because motivation is intrinsic and it's personal. What motivates Mario to get up out of bed every morning to do what he does, the way he does it, at the level he does it? Only Mario can determine what that motivation is. Some people are motivated to get out of bed because they got to go to work and feed the kids. Some are motivated because they want to go out and cause trouble. Some. Right. But I can't motivate you. Only you can motivate you. Now, a lot of people lack motivation. They say, well, I'm not motivated to do anything I'm not motivated to do. Yeah, you're right. You're not motivated because you see nothing in the outcome you want to. You. You see that engaging in that particular activity, whatever it is, there's no real outcome for you. That's. It's. There's no fulfillment. There's no result. Right. And so you're unmotivated, and so you look for someone to motivate you. No. No one's going to motivate you. Not Tony Robbins, not me, not Jack Canfield, not Mario Fagini. Because you have to motivate yourself. The motivation is, am I willing? Do I want what's on the other end of this particular activity?

Okay, that's. That's a very great expert authority effect insight. Because there are so many people looking for that motivation. And I find when I'm talking to people.

When you find something that makes them come alive and lights them up, you don't really need the motivation. It's. They're doing something they really don't want to be doing.

And many times, that is the motivation.

And I probably shouldn't have been smiling so much when you said to wake up to cause trouble.

I'm like, a lot of people do.

I'm trying to not tell my secret, but it's pretty obvious. It's definitely not to wake up for the sake of waking up. At least with me you're really smart. I'm going to dive deeper. So you can't motivate the individual. Fair. How do we motivate the team that the individual's running?

It's the same thing. You can't motivate the team either. The team has to be self motivated toward a common goal. So if you're part of a team, whether it's a military, which I've served as a US Marine and I was a position to train. Thank you. And I was always in a position to train others and to lead others. And I knew that and I, I, I learned it the hard way, right? I thought, come on, let's do it, come on. Because, because, because. But usually the because was because I would get in trouble if the work didn't done right or because I was going to win the award if the work got done right. Because usually the leader of the organization, right, it's not the underlings or the people that are doing the work. It's usually the CEO of the company that wins, that receives the award. Meanwhile, the janitor is like.

You know, what about me? I don't see my name up on the list of credits. And so to motivate a team, to motivate yourself, to motivate the kids, there has to be an end result at the end of that particular activity that they want, not that you want. You could desire it and it would be great if my kid would go out and be the captain of the football team and oh, that's so awesome. But if the kid wants to join the ballet class, hey, you are never ever going to get that kid to go out and be the captain of the football team.

Interesting. So I'm just going to keep going here. Speaking to teams and business and even family life, how do you identify what those desires are of the team?

Because I feel so there's a lot of business I know for a fact. It's not that I feel, I know there's people who have come to me because they know I have connections and I'm friends with them and I'm always happy to help however I can, whether it's a client or not. And I'll never forget my one good friend. She goes.

Yeah, I have this offer and it's in a charitable thing, this and that, but I also have this other one. What's your goal? And she goes, honestly, I'd love to make a difference. She took a $15,000 pay cut.

So she enjoyed what she did. And she's super smart, leads, teams, all kinds of stuff. And it was one of the first times I was like, there's people that would love to make a grand or two more a year. And you're willing to take 15, it may have even been 20. It was like five, a decent chunk, five figures discount. And I'm not discount, whatever pay cut. And I'm like, my initial thought was, you want to go back? But when she explained it, it wasn't, she's going back. She goes, this is, this isn't doing anything. There was no purpose. To the end. She was with a big organization. I'm not going to say who, but.

It would be very well known if I gave the initials because there's only two of them.

And the beauty in that, Mario, is that she found her motivation. And it wasn't in making money. It wasn't in the stat, it wasn't in the status of working for whatever corporate, you know, company that, that she was with or the role that she had within the company or the education she had to acquire to achieve that. Right. A lot of that is two or.

Three masters, I believe.

Yeah. And I bet much of it if we sat down and speak to her a little bit more in detail, we found out that maybe she was more, more driven by her parents and society in terms of her expectations. When comes down to it, all she wanted to do is find a different way to serve. And that resonates with my own story. I was a board certified trial lawyer in Los Angeles in the entertainment industry for 16 years. And I walked away from it because I was completely disillusioned by the industry. I was making really good money and I had good life. But I couldn't help you, Mario, have a good life. You could pay me $400 an hour back in the day, but if you couldn't, then there was nothing I could do for you. And that hurt me as a human being. And so because I wasn't able to serve humanity at a level that fulfilled me and that made me joyous and happy, I walked away right from the practice of law and turned into a commercial photographer and a musician. And I had the greatest fallback story ever. I would tell people, well, if I don't make it as an international superstar, well, I can always go back to being a lawyer.

Did you ever desire to go back? Was it a hard decision or was it just resonating with you so much? You go, I need, I need to do this.

Well, it was a specific circumstance that persuaded me to go back into the practice of law and renew my license, which I, I still have. I've been licensed in California since 1987, as a matter of fact, so nearly four decades. But a family member, my beautiful sister in law, lost her life in an accident several years ago. And my family needed help, they needed me. And so I renewed my license and we were able to, you know, file her claim and, and, and get everything resolved for the family. And so I decided to maintain it because, you know, no reason not to have it at this point. But although I'm not actively practicing, I do, you know, represent some clients here and there. But it's not something that I'm, I'm, I'm finding more excitement reading this book right here, learning how to publish my book. And let me. Is it on camera there?

A little bit to the right.

Let me bring it to my. Right, there it is. The expert authority publishing method by yours truly, Mario Ficini, host of this show. This stuff lights me up, right? Writing books. I got a book coming out. I've got a course coming out training people to elevate their communications. That is what excites me to get up every morning, Mario, because while you.

Have the expertise, like you said, you can't help more than.

Immediate clients. Now you could help them in great ways that most people can't. But if you want that reach and that impact. I appreciate you talking about the book because I sincerely know no better way than to do the book. Because even if you're a speaker, once you're done speaking, now what, Especially if you don't have a course and some people won't ever get the course. They just want the book, right?

So why.

Other than the impact.

Why did you decide to do the course? Why not just stop at the book? You know, you could have stopped at a lawyer, been wealthy, been well off, but you wanted to have that impact. So now you go, I want to do, do the, the books. But why didn't you stop there? And I don't think it's just the impact.

It's, it's a very good question.

And the difference is a singer songwriter, which I am, who.

Produces music in their own home recording studio for their own enjoyment and, and maybe a few family members and friends, maybe a few social media followers, or the singer songwriter who loves to hold an intimate concert with 50, 1002-004005-00000 people and observe the expression and get the feedback and see the connection and feel the connection that they have. That's something that no matter how beautiful this book is, that you've written, Mario. And I love the book and I've written several of my own. Currently writing another one called From Nervous to Natural.

It talks about, you know, your journey to be becoming an effective, an excellent communicator. But there's nothing like being in front of an audience and teaching them the skills of writing a book or communications and watching their eyes light up with, oh my gosh, I never thought of that. Oh my gosh. You just. I had a breakthrough. Right. Those kinds of things you can only do when you're training others in a live or even a digital format. And so that's why I decided to do it, because just writing the book wasn't enough. I need. I need a better connection with my audience.

It's that transformation.

To watch it in action. Yeah. When you see someone, a school teacher, stand up and say, steve, I was afraid to death of public speaking and I became a school teacher, but now I. And she's flourishing. Right. She was a one first year teacher in Dallas and she came to my course and who knew that a school teacher would be afraid of public speaking? But there she was and. And we got rid of it for her really quickly and she's now happier than she's ever been. Teaching and speaking, talking to the kids.

What specifically were some of the roadblocks? You don't need to say her specific name, and I'm sure most people have them. But what would you say are common roadblocks that keep people from staying nervous and not being natural?

Good question. The most common roadblock is this idea that we have a fear of public speaking. I take issue with that because I don't believe we have a fear of public speaking.

Where do you think that originates from? Because I know people say other than fear of death.

It'S public speaking is number two. It's like, where did this stem from?

Exactly. As Jerry Seinfeld said, most people would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy. Right. And I found that to be true from their perspective. And a couple of things, Mario, whoever came up with that idea, and I haven't drilled down to that yet, but I know that it's ages old, this idea that we're afraid of public speaking. It's been permeated since by, I want to say, well intended people, coaches, authors, writers who want to sell books and courses that want to continue impressing on people, you're afraid of this and I can help you get out of it. Well, I Take a different approach. I'm here to tell you, you are not afraid of this. How do I know? Because if you have one of these in your hand, if you own one of these, you're not afraid of public speaking. If you've ever been in a Burger King, a Starbucks, or a Perry's, you know, steakhouse and ordered a meal, you're not afraid of public speaking. But here's what we're afraid of, Mario. And this is going to be an awakening for a lot of people that have never heard this. Because I see it all the time in my courses. They. Oh, my God. We're not afraid of public speaking. What we're afraid of is, are you ready? We're afraid of making a mistake. Whoa. Doesn't that shift the perspective? Right? Because we've made mistakes all our lives, and we can work our way through it, and we're afraid of making mistakes. Where does that come from? Again, going back to our childhood. Remember being in the classroom? The teacher asks a question, you go, oh, oh, oh, I know, I know. You raise your hand and you give the wrong answer. What happens?

The kids make fun of you.

All the kids laughed and called you names. They never let poor Mario answer questions again in class. Right? Mario will never raise his hand again in class because he was ridiculed, embarrassed, shamed. Oh, my God. I should have known that answer. Why did I raise my hand? Now, the next time the teacher asks a question, no one raises their hand, especially not Mario, because he's learned his lesson. So it was a mistake that you made. Perhaps you gave the. The name wrong, the answer wrong. It was partly correct, whatever it was.

So we can avoid making mistakes. Like the first time we rode a bicycle, we made mistakes. All of us fall. The first time we stood up to take our first steps as babies, we all fall. It's mistake until we learn to grow through it and to do things the right way. And so when people realize this, Mario, that they're not afraid of public speaking, they're afraid of making a mistake, it just completely shifts their paradigm and the dynamics of how to approach this. The other mistake that people make is thinking. Watching people like, you know, Oprah or Ellen DeGeneres or you, and they think, wow, I can never be as good as Mario. And so they try and be. Deliver a performance.

Big mistake. Because speaking public speaking is not about performing.

You have to have a level of confidence to realize there's some wiggle room. If. If it's not 100% perfect, we're still cool.

It's always cool, even if you're performing, right? How many times was I on stage in front of thousands of people delivering a song, and I would forget the lyric because my mind is somewhere else, right? I knew the song. I wrote the song. But every now and then, we forget the lyric or we forget the chord or we miss whatever, right? We miss the beat or we come in off. But you just kind of play through it, right? You don't stop and focus on it. Go, oh, my God. Sorry, everyone. I suck. Oh, my God. I should have never got up this morning.

Yeah. Where does that stem from? Because I know. I know that person also. And, you know, they go to give a presentation, they're like, all right, I'm glad to be here. Sorry about the stain that's inside my breast pocket underneath the tie, underneath the suit coat. And it's like, we didn't even know. I can't even see it.

Like, exactly. It's. They're trying to be relatable, right? Or you come off and you think, joke about something. That's what it is. You're trying to.

There's a difference between the joke, though, and, like. Like, why'd you say this? To kick it off.

Like, it's. It's nerves, but it's. It comes from an attempt to relate to the audience. Oh, I want to show these folks that I'm human just like them. What can I come up with? Oh, yeah. Stain inside my breast pocket that no one can see, right?

So that's why they do it. That's why we do silly things. And so in my training, I teach people that there is a formula, but speaking is not formulaic, if. If you know what I mean. Just like there's people that can ride bicycles, but just because you can ride a bicycle doesn't mean that you can compete in the Tour de France. That's a completely different skill level of riding that bicycle.

And it depends on the bike.

Exactly. It depends on the bike. The tools that you have, right? Your training, your sleep, your. Your. Your. Your physicality, everything, right? Even though it's just riding a bike. Of course I can compete in the Olympics. No. So just because you have voice and you know how to articulate and form words and sentences doesn't mean that you can go out there and deliver a great talk. That takes training and experience and a little bit of education, but you can do it, remembering that it's not a performance and you don't need to be afraid of it.

Yeah. One of my favorites, race cars. You know, just because you can drive a car. Doesn't mean getting behind the wheel of a Lamborghini is going to be a smart move. And open road if you've never done it before.

Exactly. And I've done it. I've driven a Lamborghini on a racetrack, and it was super fun, but I didn't do it without a lot of training.

The bike, when you first said, I thought you meant like a normal kid's bike or something. I had a dyno comp bmx and I actually knew. I trained myself to ride it backwards. And I went two or three streets. My friends were spotting me on the handlebars.

Nice.

I would not do the Tour de France that way, though.

No, you wouldn't.

Great example. So you threw a nice little teaser in there for us, Steve. You know, you got to give us the formula now.

You got to come to the class for the formula.

Just first couple then.

But it's, it's. It's a little bit different for everybody. And I say that because we first have to go. It's. In other words, it's not a cookie cutter thing. It's not like I can make this tie and make a hundred thousand of them. Everybody gets the same tie. Right.

When it comes to ask, where would you have them made?

Yeah. In Italy, of course.

Oh, I was gonna say Thailand.

Oh, my goodness. I got it.

That was good. That was stupid as all get out, but that's funny.

Somebody's laughing. Somebody's listening to this.

I appreciate the Italy, though. I appreciate the Italy, though.

Yeah, it would be Italy, baby. That's where. Yeah, Italy. I love their style there.

So it's not a one size fits.

All. Right. It's not a one size fits all. And I hate to burst anybody's bubble when it comes to that. And I know a lot of people think that. Oh, just teach me the mechanic. No, the first thing. And. And you know this, my Mario, because you wrote this amazing book that teaches people the first thing is why are you writing a book? Right. What's your intent behind the book? Because that drives the rest of it, right? Who's your audience? Is the next question. Who is my audience? What do you want to share with that audience?

So who are you speaking to? Who do you want to share? What do you want to share exactly?

Because it's different speaking to a room full of prison inmates than it is going to the upper echelons of the C suite and delivering a talk to senior executives.

I don't know. Those are both kind of high stress situations. Depending on the person, but then I get what you're saying.

But the material changes. High stress situations, but the material changes. And that's one of the other things I recommend for people to do. If you want to know. Part of the formula is you have to develop what I call your personal dynamic quotient, meaning you can't just speak to CEOs all the time. Just like you can't speak to grade school kids all the time and then expect that you're going to be able to speak to CEOs. No.

So speak to a variety of audiences so that you get the difference. And you know how it is to talk to someone in a prison uniform as well as to someone wearing a $3,000 Italian made suit in the boardroom, because different ways of speaking to them. Gary Vee might disagree, but I can assure you that Gary Vee, even Gary Vee, will go into a prison room and speak differently to those folks than he will the people in, in the C suite. And those are the two things that really drive everything. What is your purpose? Why speak at all? There's only four reasons to inform. It's like the newscaster that says, in Detroit, Michigan today at 75 degrees, nothing more, nothing less. That's information, right? To educate is the second reason to speak. It's 75 degrees in Detroit today because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're giving the audience the reason. Exactly. Reasons. Global warming, whatever you want to call it. It's 75 and it's the middle of December. Right? Weird stuff. But you're educating the public. Number three, entertain. It's 75 degrees in Michigan today. Detroit, Michigan and whatever. Right? Break out.

The snow's falling.

And that. To tell jokes. What is it hot to my chili today? Hot tamale. That's kind of like.

You know, it's to entertain, to make them laugh. Right? And then the fourth reason is to persuade. It's 75 degrees in Detroit, Michigan today because codes are on sale and therefore you should bundle up, put your scarf on, bundle up the kids, make sure you, you know, it's flu season, all this stuff. So now you're persuading them to do something based on the information that you've just given them. Outside of those four reasons. Inform, educate, entertain and persuade. You shouldn't be opening up your mouth to speak to an audience.

I'm sorry, I just want to make sure everyone's listening to this. There's something in my ear monitor here. Can you say that last part again?

Outside of, outside of Those four reasons to inform, educate, entertain, and persuade. There's no reason why you should be speaking to a public audience.

Everyone get that? Does it work for private audiences, too?

Yeah, absolutely.

Now for the person who's going, okay, I'm taking notes on this. I got this down pat. How do I know if my message is right, though? What would you say to them?

You know your message is right when you know that your audience has received it the way that you intended it.

Okay.

And there's only one way to get that. It's from direct feedback from your audience. If you write a book, oh, they're going to tell you. They're going to look at you, look at your reviews. You know, your editor is going to tell you. Your editor is going to be the first person to tell you. Or if you're married, maybe it's your spouse. Your spouse or your kids are going to be the first one to tell you, mom, this book is great. Mom, this book sucks.

So, you know, what is your message? What is your intent? And then it's up to you to get the feedback from your audience to know that your message is on point. Are they taking the action that you ask them to take? Right. Are they following the information? Are they.

Doing something with the education that you've given them? And if they say they don't understand it, you don't say, well, it's your fault.

Mm.

Mm. It's 100% on you, the communicator, to make sure that your audience understands your message.

I love that. Thank you for saying that. I've told people very similar over the years, and they're like, well, it's just because I go, look, one of my litmus test is the case studies. If you can really do and say what you. If you can really do what you say, you should have no problem with success stories, case studies, all of that stuff. And again, there's another type of person where it's like, they're really good over here, but it's like they just don't want to take that little extra responsibility to own it.

And it's like the difference maker. When you claim it and own the whole process and the whole thing, it's like, okay, yeah, you know what you're talking about, versus you're just another person doing this skill set.

Exactly. And you hit it right on the head. 100 responsibility for your words, your thoughts. Actually, your thoughts come first. You. We all need to take 100 responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, words and actions. Because without that, we're always dependent on someone else to change, someone else to do something different, someone else to remove the roadblock out of our ways. But if we take 100% responsibility, then we're the ones that go and remove the roadblocks. We're the ones that go open the doors. We're the ones that affect the change. And other people will follow you.

And that goes back into what we kicked this off with. Always learning and growing.

There's no limits in that equation. What's the limit of being able to do stuff if you continue? I personally want to blow up the obstacles, not just move them. I don't want to move it. Like, I'll take a rocket launcher, have someone else move it. Those are my options.

Sure. Blow them up, you know? Yeah, absolutely. Stealth bomb that crap out of those obstacles.

Oh, my gosh, don't even get me started. But B21.

B2.

F22.

Exactly. But only we can do that, right? Because if. If we're. You know, a lot of people like to assign blame, and we've seen that all over the news, right, These last couple weeks and days and. And years. Oh, it's so and so's fault and it's your fault, and it's this and that and the other. Well, if we're always. If, if. If I blame someone else for my inability to do something.

One of the examples I like to give Mario is, you know, there's this pen in the. In the road, right? Here's a. Here's a yellow Sharpie as a. I'm looking at the camera. So there's this yellow Sharpie in the road. Now there's different people, right? And some will say, man, there's a yellow Sharpie in the road and it shouldn't be there. That pisses me off. You know, people shouldn't do that. People shouldn't leave Sharpies in the middle of the road. Gosh darn it, I wish they wouldn't do that. Recording stopped.

And then they just work themselves over and over and over. It said, recording, stop. Are we okay?

I think that was yours.

I wasn't recording that. Okay.

Anyway, so. Recording in progress. Recording in progress. So it says.

The next person who put that there, Sharpie shouldn't be in the middle of the road. I'm going to complain to someone.

Yeah, People don't want to do anything, move them or do anything about it. They just want to go, oh, it's someone else's responsibility. It's not mine.

Exactly.

Where do you think that started from?

Oh, my gosh. From childhood. I Mean, but it's also society. It's. We have role models in society. And again, because we see it in the news all the time, people blaming each other. The politicians know it's their fault, it's their fault, it's his fault. It's never my fault. As a politician, we do it.

And the crazy thing is you're giving me an example.

You're given this example of blockage in the road. And I have to apologize for when I was younger, I may or may not have taken some snowballs with my friends and purposely blocked the road, but.

The insanity of someone seeing a Sharpie in the road. There's people who will actually do this. And it's like, first off, you can drive over that. You're in a car or at least a car, probably a SUV or truck now. And. But they'll just stop and just, oh, I wonder if someone's. Oh, I can. How hard would it be just. Even if you had to get out and smack it outside.

Or doors that are closed? And I gave an example with one of our author clients for her new book, and it reminded me of high school. There was six or eight doors. Every morning you'd walk through, and it was three sets of two. I think it was three. But there was those double doors open both ways, and everyone was on the far right furthest. Most I'm like, you have.

What is that? 75% more options. And you just pick this one where everyone's going. I would always go to the center one and hold it for my friends and I. And it's like there was a. You didn't have to pay extra for the VIP line. There was no speed pass. There was no nothing. It was just common freaking sense.

And yet it feels like it's so uncommon.

Yep. You know, we're taught to take the path of least resistance. We're taught not to make trouble. We're taught to stay in line and to follow the course and to do what everybody else is doing. And then if you do anything outside of that, you're an outlier. You're a maverick. You're a troublemaker.

You're an anomaly. Yeah, so you're bringing up a good point. Because.

There'S someone I'm thinking of right now. Not a specific person, but a type of person who I've. You know, I see them at every conference, I see them at every event. I see them. They get all the books, they get all the courses, they do the webinars, they do all the trainings, they do all this stuff.

What would you say to them?

If they really want to pursue speaking and they really want to take it to the next level, what's the best advice you could give them?

The best advice is start.

Start right now, start today. You don't need another course, you don't need another book, you don't need another coach, you don't need another anything. But to start today, that's the only way you're going to get off the ground. But here's the reason why people don't start, Mario, and why the person, the Persona that you just alluded to is so prevalent in our societies. Because Shelf Help we fall in love with our stories.

Right? All of us have a story. Each of us has a story. Where we come from, what's happened to us, who's done it to us, what we've done to. To others, etc, what we like, what we don't like, where we go, where we don't go. It's part of our story. How we look, how we dress, how we speak. It's all part of our story. And some of us are so committed to our story that we fear losing our identity if we ever change it. And so if I identify as a person, I'm going to courses, I'm going. I'm buying the books, I'm buying the programs. I'm going to every Tony Robbins seminar that's ever existed and that he will ever have. Why? Because I get to say that I have. And other. Some people are going to be proud of me, other people are going to admire me. Oh, look. Oh, you're going to Robin 7. Whoa. You must be so. Wow, that must be so exciting. And that fills them up. Yeah. I'm going to another Tony Robbins. I love Tony Robbins. I'm not knocking him at all. I've trained under him. I'm a strategic interventionist on the personal development side of the. The coaching that I do.

Just a good example. I get it.

Yeah. But that Persona, that person that's going to get another degree and never doing anything with the degrees that they've already acquired. Right. Because it's.

Yeah, because to be fair, I'll. I'll say this too. It. It. I've seen it outside of business, too. The Persona is they got more degrees than a thermometer. Like, I've. I've got five PhDs, seven bachelors, this. Seven masters, five bachelors. Like, what in the.

Exactly what job is that a requirement for?

Yeah, it's not. Probably none. But it becomes part of their story that I have these titles Therefore, I'm important, I'm significant. Etc. So one of the.

Unless you're just really not trying to pay those student loans back over, like 50 years.

But yeah, one of the workshops that I teach is showing people you are not your story. Because a lot of people do want to break out of it, but they, you know, I'm always going back and falling back, right? Getting back in the same bad relationships, right. Abusive relationships where the guy is, you know, abuses me or he's on drugs or she's on drugs, whatever case may be. I got out of one, but I found myself in the same thing all over again. Yes, it's your story.

Darndest thing.

When we learn, Mario, that we are not our story, but rather we are the actor in the story. And just like our favorite Hollywood movie, we can become the director, the producer and the writer of the story and change it. And at any time, we can do like they do and yell.

Right. When the director sees something on set that he or she doesn't like, they yell, cut. They say, wait a minute. And they call, you know, Robert De Niro over and you know Dustin Hoffman and you know Morgan Freeman, they say, look, you guys, it's scene's not working. We need to do a change. All right? Call the writer in. What does the writer do? Tears out pages from the script, writes up a new couple of pages, and they distribute it to the actors. The actors look at it, learn their lines, etc, and now the action can proceed. We can and should do the same thing in our lives anytime that something in our life is not going the way we want it to, Mario, we need to stop and yell cut. And then we need to fire some people. You are no longer an actor in my show, in my movie, in my television play, in my theater production. You're no longer. I'm going to hire a new actor, be that the boyfriend, the teacher, the coach, whoever it is that's causing you problems. That's how we need to approach life. And that's my next book, by the way.

I was just going to say that was invigorating. That is a great example of. I've heard people say, you can rewrite your story, you can do this, but I really resonate with that. Yell cut.

Just yell cut.

Wow. Okay. So is there anything I haven't asked that people should know?

Because I feel like we're giving them so much good stuff on how to do the presentations, how to speak better, how to communicate better.

Let me ask about if there's anything I just don't know about because you're the expert on it, please give it to us. I want to make sure they get it. But I do want to ask about booking them. We'll go to the. Is there anything I'm missing?

Yes. And what I wanted to share is we've talked a lot about the how.

And I think it's important for people to understand that the why is even more important. And when it comes to career, I'll tell you that your ability to speak is the magic bullet. Your ability to effectively communicate will transcend your lack of education or what you deem to be a lack of education, lack, lack of experience, your gender, if you view that as a stop because they mark against you, right? Your ethnicity, your age, all of these things that we say. I'm not smart enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not tall enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not good looking enough. I'm. I'm too heavy. I'm not heavy enough. Whatever we say about ourselves that keeps us from going out there and doing the thing that makes our heart really sing, whether it's write a book or to make a presentation or just to go out and teach or to serve others in whatever way we want to.

We need to find out why do we want to do this? And I'll tell you. In the professional circuit, in the professional circle, becoming an effective communicator is the number one way to increase your income. Whether you're on the job, whether you're a coach, whether you're a politician or doing anything else. Become an effective communicator and your income and your ability to earn income will outpace everybody else. But it is the great equalizer. And I know this, for it's my personal journey. I wasn't born in this country.

I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. And I didn't go to the best law school. I went to the law school that I could afford. We took the same California bar exam that all the other top schools did, and I passed the first time around. And when I got into the courtrooms, I was at first intimidated by lawyers from the mega firms in their Brooks Brothers suits and those kinds of things with, you know, super shiny shoes. And there's seven of them and one or two of us at the smaller firm. But then I soon realized that what they knew academically or whether they could write and cite.

Paragraph 16 on page 472 of the California Super Code says this. And they knew by memory, right? Well, I Knew how to speak to people because I'd been singing and performing on stages for many, many years. I'd been a police officer, I'd been a U.S. marine. And so those experiences allowed me to learn how to connect with another human being, one on one, face to face. No, you know, didn't matter what suit I was wearing or what school I came from. I could show them that I cared. I could show them that I understood them. I could show empathy, and I could connect with them in a way that Mr. Brooks Brothers never could. And as a result, I was winning lots of cases where I was up against these mega lawyers that went to Harvard and Yale, etc. And it was through that experience that I realized that communications is your great equalizer.

Wow, that's inspiring.

Congrats also for passing on the first time. And you got me thinking about that, because the communications are what's most important, all of that. And it reminds me of the Einstein quote. Why am I going to take up mental space and I'm paraphrasing it for anything I can look up in under two minutes in a standard almanac.

Even Einstein didn't try to commit everything to memory.

So if that's the only difference, Yeah, I take the communication every day. I didn't go to law school. It was on my track originally, but very similar with the communications and speaking. And I was like, I can do this. I should probably lean into this because it definitely wasn't school. I don't even have an associate's degree. So when I, when I made that decision, it was like, okay, now what? And I'm like, okay, if I'm really going to commit and play over here, I need to go from here to here. Like yesterday.

Exactly. And. And you've done so well. I mean, look at. You've got a bestseller out. You're teaching people, you're serving people at the highest levels. How? By helping them achieve their dreams. There is no bigger purpose, Mario, than helping someone else get what they want out of life or out of their career, out of their marriage, out of their, you know, parenting, whatever it is that they want. And in your case, you're doing it by showing them the insides of writing a book. And you're also showing them beautifully how to produce a show. I mean, your show, I think I shared this is with you early on when you and I met, is one of the best producers I've ever seen. I mean, everything is the lighting, the coloring, the, the. The, you know, your equipment, Everything is spot on. And I know you didn't spend a hundred thousand dollars on it like Tony Robbins did, and you don't need to. Well, I appreciate that every little thing you've done, you made it the best that. That you can, and that's all that's required.

Well, good. I qualify.

I appreciate you being honest. And it's so surreal because your story is similar to mine. I honestly also considered Marines, and I went. Took two years of law enforcement, and I was about this close to doing that route too. Doctor, lawyer, FBI, CIA, police. I always just wanted to help people.

And I do. And you're doing it, and it's fun.

And you're doing it.

Just getting started with it.

Yeah.

So I want to ask you.

A fun question.

This is what you didn't see when we started.

These have all been fun questions.

Yellow or black?

Well, I have a. I have a.

Pension. Is that the right word? Oh, yeah. I'm always. I'm always drawn to yellow.

Okay, well, it's good things. Worn that tie today then. So, yellow. Here's the magic question on the wheel of whatever.

If you didn't have the background you have, which is great, and you're helping a ton of people, what else was maybe a side project, hobby, something of interest that could be completely unrelated.

That you would have pursued? Unrelated from anything you've mentioned.

See, and that. Wow, this is probably the most difficult question too, Mario, because I didn't know.

I'm sorry, I. I fibbed a little. I said this was going to be a fun one. You're like, this is.

It is. It is fun. I didn't know it then. It took me a while to realize the communications is at the root of everything.

Right. If you want to date, if you want sex, if you want to eat, if you want to, whatever it is that you want. A job requires communications and requires communicating with other people. Right? I want this, I need that. I desire this. I desire you. Right. So while I would have said.

You know, I. I enjoyed my military career, I enjoyed my law enforcement career.

The thing that I wanted to do most in life as a kid was to become an international singing sensation. Like Julio Iglesias was my role model back in the day. And that's what I wanted to be and that's what I wanted to pursue. But that too requires communication. So I can't really answer your question and say, what could I do other than communicate and become an effective communicator, because everything you do requires it. Unless you just want to go live in the mountains as a hermit and hunt.

But Even then you'd probably be talking to the animals or at least yourself, at least.

Right? At least.

Well, I appreciate the transparency and honesty and.

I, I maybe could have phrased that a little bit differently because, yeah, it's, I, I think we're all drawn to what our core is. Like I said, I always wanted to help people. There's a million ways you can do it. And then I expect, you know, you experiment and go, I don't really know if I want to do that or this that, like the police was cool, you got a gun. But I'm like, I don't want to be stuck with this level car. But you know, and the whole being told what to do and you have to fit in a timetable and all that, I'm like, yeah, I kind of need to be an entrepreneur to pull off like this, this, this and that. So. But you're still drawn at that core. So I, I think that's a great answer because I was also in band, choir and drama and stage is vastly different than, well, in the strictest sense, business or any of the other things. But I'm seeing more and more similarities in the stuff I even did with the book. I'm like, I had a surreal moment when I'm going, holy smokes, this was from 10th grade. There's stuff I've done now that I learned in 10th grade. And I'm like, it's all falling into place. So thank you for the honesty. We're going to thank the sponsor and come back for the imperfect action round. You've heard me say every business needs a book, including yours, and it's true. And that's why I'm launching my new book@eapublishingmethodbook.com so you can learn the seven steps to publish and promote your nonfiction lead and profit generating business book in eight weeks. But you know what? Don't take my word for it. Take it from a few of my authors, like Lori, I went from having.

An idea and a possibility to actually getting my book published. Or Catherine, thank you for making my mom number one best selling authority.

Or Mary Alice, what he got done.

For me in three days regarding my book launch.

Unmanageable.

John Cody. I've worked with Mario over the phone and online and he's been very helpful in getting me where I needed to go with promoting my books.

Rocio, there's no way in the world I would have been able to do this with somebody else again. I've attempted it in the past. It didn't serve me As a matter of fact, I ended up more frustrated than anything. So this has been a very seamless process. If you're looking for an amazing business coach, I highly recommend Mario Ficcini or Bill Benner.

I can't make a higher recommendation than.

To work with Mario Ficini.

He has been great for me, and right now I won't work with anybody.

Else except for Mario.

Hey, their words, not mine. Visit eapublishingmethodbook.com to get your copy and I look forward to hearing your transformation as our next video success story. Once again, that's EA publishingmethodbook.com and we are back with the imperfect action round. Steve, are you ready to take imperfect action?

Imperfect action, yes.

Three questions for you. Rapid fire responses. First one, what is the fastest path to the cash?

Fastest path to the cash is to speak.

Go to your chamber of commerce and speak.

Let me ask you this. I didn't do it during the first hour. What's your thought on Toastmasters? Should people train? And I've heard people say you should go there first and just really refine it. Do you think they should do Toastmasters first? Before, after? Not at all. The whole time?

I think Toastmasters is an amazing, wonderful organization, but I personally and professionally recommend against it. Why? Because I think that they.

They teach people to.

They teach people to. They dehumanize the process of speaking. Oh, in other words. Right. They dehumanize it. No hands in pockets, your gestures, your. You can't say they dock you. You know, it's like they spank you every time you make a mistake in order to get you to avoid making the mistakes. And, and I get that, but that's a certain style of speaking. Let me give it to you this way. Would you rather listen to Luciano Pavarotti and Andrea Bocelli all the time versus Louis Armstrong, Joe Cocker.

Anita Baker.

Michael McDonald, and many others with what we would call imperfect voices.

Also good, right? That's a tough one.

Exactly. So if Pavarotti is the all only thing, only type of music that you want to listen to and you're drawn to that Toastmaster style of speaking, then yes, by all means, go do it. It's an excellent place to learn and practice. However, if you want to speak naturally, as if you were naturally born speaking, then I recommend not going to Toastmasters.

Okay, I appreciate that. I playing sax and piano, I would also, I would need the jazz. Like, as nice as all that is in marching band. Like, sometimes you just need some upbeat stuff too. I thought you Were going to compare it to like mumba rap or something like that from nowadays. That's why I jumped on it. But they're all good.

Yeah, it's not my style. I wouldn't even know who to who to mention in that genre.

Great answers. In honestly, people have said, you know, with all this, people have recommended it to me. Not that I was bad, but they're like, yeah, if you're looking, they got a lot out of it and they said they enjoyed. I'm like, oh, I've never done it. So I've considered it. But now I'm like, that sounds like school doesn't agree. Number two, there's some question about your prospects. How do you help them? What's the biggest mistake they're making and how can they prevent it?

Again, I approach this from a personal development as well as a communication side, but we've been talking mostly about the communications and again, it goes to what we said earlier is to recognize that you have no fear of public speaking. That's a myth that you need to release and let go of right away. And it's something that you can do and recognize that you're afraid of making a mistake. And because you've made mistakes in the past on other things, on parenting, on cooking, on dating, on marriage, on, you know, everything else that you've done in your life. We've made mistakes, but we've worked our way through it. We've learned to figure out the wrong way in order to get to the right way. And so you can do that with public speaking as well.

Excellent. Number three, what is the best way to maximize customer lifetime value?

Maximize customer lifetime value is to always be given to them. Find new ways to give to them in ways that no one else is.

Fantastic. You know, as a publisher, I have to ask about books outside of our own. What books would you recommend to Expert Authority World?

There's an excellent book by a friend of mine, Howard Falco, which is available on Amazon and it's called I Am. And it is a study not in religion or in spiritualism or anything like that, but it's. It's really a deep dive into humanity and who we are at our core. And it teaches you to answer, to ask yourself every day and several times throughout the day. The most important question that you can ask yourself is, who am I? Who am I being in this moment? And then once you find that answer is, do I like this person that I'm being?

So the book is called I Am by Howard Falco.

Excellent recommendation. That Sounds intriguing and I'd love to pull people and see where they're at before and after it.

And I'm not going to say any more because.

That could be a whole other episode. But thank you for that recommendation. Where would you like people to learn more?

First of all, I would love for members of your audience to reach out to you, Mario, and say thank you for producing this show and thanks for having Steve and all the other great guests that you have on the show. Now, if you can give me Steve's phone number, I'd become your best friend. But sadly, ladies and gentlemen, Mario is not going to do that.

So happy to make introductions. If someone's listening and wants to intro.

No, of course.

But we're going to put this on the show notes page.

But you're not going to give my phone number.

It's go to StevieGSuccess.com is the website StevieGSuccess.com or on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn. @Stevie G. Success is where I can be reached.

Very good. I appreciate that. And I asked because some people have given out their. They're like, text me, call me. And they've literally given their everything out on here. I'm like, okay.

So yeah.

And. And the reason I won't is not because I'm, you know, trying to be private or anything like that, is I recognize, Mario, that I have a certain amount of bandwidth. Like, for sure, we all do. Right. And so I, I just haven't gotten to the point where I can take so many calls and so many interviews a day. I have to schedule them. Right. And so the easiest way for me to schedule them and so that I could serve anybody that wants to contact me as they should be serving so I can listen to them. Because what if they call me when I'm in the middle of making dinner or on my way to the gym? I'm gonna have to say, hey, you know, Bob, thanks for calling, but sorry, I, I can't talk right now. And then life gets in the way and I lose Bob's number or, you know, those.

I totally get it. Same thing for me. I started switching.

Emails around just because the spam and people that just pull data swipes and stuff. So. And it was, it was one of our last guests at New York Times bestselling author. He's like, just give me a call. I'm like, awesome. So. But we're going to put this all in the show notes on EA interviews.com you've been great. And I just want to make sure.

They have everything they can to reach you and it's been an absolute pleasure, Steve. So thank you for your time, your expertise coming on here and sharing with us honestly and openly because you were not putting on a performance while you were entertaining. I could tell you were being how I knew you were going to be. That's why I wanted to have you on.

Well, thank you Mario, and to you again for producing this show and for bringing just such valuable information to the world. You know that the, the world of self publishing, traditional publishing, is still such a huge mystery. Too much of the world and so many people are making a mistake and going down the wrong road, regretting it and then not getting their books out there. And that's sad because that's the change. Some there's somebody out there that needs to read your book.

Yeah. The impact you can have, it doesn't need to be perfect, you know. Oh, get me started. But thank you for the kind words and it was an absolute pleasure.

Thank you, Mario. Pleasure was mine.

All right, Expert Authority World, we have another great episode here today. I'll see you on the next one. Have a great day and God bless. You're already the expert, but have you transformed your expertise into a tangible asset that will generate qualified leads while increasing profit for you 247 and if so, how well are you promoting it? With my new book, the Expert Authority Effect Publishing Method, I take you through my process step by step. Visit eapublishingmethodbook.com today to learn the seven steps to publish and promote your nonfiction, lead and profit generating business book in eight weeks. Visit eapublishingmethodbook.com to get started now once again, that's eapublishingmethodbook.Com thanks for listening to today's episode. I would love to know what you enjoyed most from it. If you haven't done so already. I invite you to connect with me on my new LinkedIn. You can go to it directly at eainterviews.com LinkedIn Once again, that's eainterviews.com LinkedIn lastly, check out the full eainterviews.com site for complete show notes, the full interview video experience, links to the resources we mentioned, and more. Have a blessed day and I'll see you on the next one.