In this opening segment of a new video series, Marisa Rudder launches a critique of the pervasive cultural myth that men are inherently more sexual than women. She argues that society normalizes male sexual pressure—ranging from casual coercion to overt expectations—while dismissing or pathologizing female desire. Rudder emphasizes that sexual drive is not solely driven by testosterone; it is shaped by emotions, stress, safety, power dynamics, and cultural conditioning. She condemns the narrative that frames men as slaves to biology and women as mere gatekeepers, calling it "trash" that silences women's needs. Rudder references her own books—Love and Obey, Queendom, and Goddess of Love—as resources that present a female‑led perspective on relationships and sexuality, and invites viewers to explore them for a new understanding of female sexuality.
This is my dog's favorite part of the day.
Mine too. And I'm sure glad we came today.
This is the first in a series of posts I will be sharing about the myth of male and female sexuality. The reason I started writing books about relationships, dating advice, and female sexuality is because we've all been swallowing a big load of bullshit without questioning it for centuries. Frankly, I got sick of it. Society keeps pushing this tired-ass narrative that men are just naturally hornier than women. It's everywhere. Social media, movies, music, school hallways. Little girls grow up hearing "boys have needs," like we're supposed to just deal with it because that's how men are built. But what about our needs? Do they even exist in this conversation, or have we been trained to pretend they don't? When a man pressures a woman—and I'm not just talking serious pressure like rape, I mean all the coercion, the constant pushing for sex, the expectation that we accommodate his hard dick no matter what. Society just shrugs and says, boys will be boys. His libido gets labeled normal male biology. Meanwhile, our desire gets treated like it's weird, broken, or doesn't even matter. That's why I started writing with books like Love and Obey: Female-Led Relationship and Queendom and Goddess of Love. I want people to know that women are just as sexual as men. Maybe more. That's why I say this conditioning is straight trash. It paints men as helpless slaves to their instincts and women as nothing but gatekeepers. Either you open the door or you don't. If you feel uncomfortable, too bad. That's just how men are. I'm here to call it. Male sexual behavior gets excused as uncontrollable while women are expected to shrink, adapt, and shut up about it. But modern research is exposing the truth. Testosterone plays a role, sure, but it doesn't turn men into uncontrollable animals. Animals. Desire is way more complex. It's hormones plus emotions, stress, safety, power dynamics, and all the cultural garbage we've been fed. This is just the beginning. I'm going to keep talking about this, and if it interests you, simply search Marisa Rudder books on Amazon or go to loveandobey.com to check out my books and see relationships and female sexuality in a new light.
