Mary Koska, founder of Ohana OT, explains why phrasing requests as commands instead of questions gets kids to listen better. Say "I want you to" instead of "Could you." It works because questions sound optional.
Hey, aloha, everyone. This is Mary Koska, founder and CEO of Ohana ot, and I've spent the weekend camping here, kayaking on Lake Wenatchee. It's been beautiful. A little chilly, but beautiful overall. I was just thinking about a quick tip I wanted to share with you. That is just a better way to be clear with your kids and get them to do what you want. So what you want to do is give them really clear commands like, you can or I want you to. What we tend to do is say, could you or would you like, would you go pick up that trash or could you do this? And they're thinking, nah, because you just asked them a question and to them it's optional. So we just. We can still be kind and nice about it, but we need to be really clear and just say, you can do this. I want you to do this. I want you to pick up that piece of paper. Thank you. You can still say your please and thank you, but just be really clear and don't form it in a question. So this is harder than it sounds. And you'll hear us at the clinic, we've worked really hard on changing the way we talk to the kids. And anytime they're not doing what I want them to do, I stop and I think about, how did I say it? And usually I've forgotten and I've asked them a question and they're thinking, nah, I don't really want to do that. So that. That is my tip for the day. So you're going to say, instead of saying, like, can you. Can you go get that? You're going to say, you can go get that instead of would you or could you? You're going to say, I want you to. And just be really clear. And they will do it. It will surprise you. So that is my tip for the day. Aloha.
