Mary Kostka explains why kids test boundaries constantly. They're checking if the rules have changed, so parents need to hold the line consistently, even if it means repeating yourself a hundred times. Her friend Alexis, who has five children, learned this the hard way.
Hey, it's Mary Koska from Ohana OT coming to you from beautiful Lake Wenatchee, and I'm going to talk a little bit about something that is my absolute favorite piece of parenting advice that I heard when I was raising my kids. And it's from my friend Alexis, who has five kids. And I was going crazy, like, why do I have to say the same thing 10,000 times? And she explained to me that it's the kid's job to bump up against the line that I've put. That's the boundary. And it's their job to just keep bumping up against it. And then it's my job to hold the line, because as they bump up against it, if it's moved a little, that's their job to figure out is it the same or is it a little different? So when I had that picture in my mind that they're just doing their job as children, checking in to see where the boundary is, and I'm just being consistent, showing them where the boundary is, then it gave me a lot more patience. And sometimes that's saying the same thing 10,000 times. And that just helped me so much, just being more patient and just realizing they're doing their job. I'm doing my job. And it really helps also to help you realize, like kids that don't have clear boundaries, why they're just. Their behavior is just all over the place because they're really just looking for where is that boundary. So be clear on your boundaries, your rules, and just be patient that you have to be a broken record is that's our job. Aloha.
