21 Aug 2026 · 110 min
In this candid, conversational episode of the "Faith, Family, Business, and Sex" podcast, hosts Jared Matatusi and Austin Maser discuss a wide range of personal and professional topics. They explore the idea that true impact comes from helping people rather than selling products, using Austin’s pest‑control and credit‑card experiences as examples, and Jared’s reflections on his Air Force logistics role as a people‑leadership challenge. Both men emphasize the rarity of being present, faithful husbands and fathers in demanding careers, sharing struggles with marriage, intimacy, and sexual desire after the birth of their children. They recount specific moments of marital tension, the importance of honest communication, and how shame and unmet expectations can erode connection, describing how they used a sex‑therapy course and vulnerable conversations to reset their relationship. The hosts also talk about the logistical chaos of moving from Europe to Japan, frequent family reunions, and the impact of military deployments on personal life. Business growth is highlighted through mentorship from figures like Ben Kehr and Jocko Willink, the planning of sales events, and the integration of AI tools into their coaching platforms. Faith is woven throughout, with references to God’s purpose, church teachings, and the struggle to reconcile religious expectations with personal shortcomings. Finally, they look ahead to future family planning, potential new children, and how they will balance career, travel, and family life while continuing to grow their influence.
Chapters
Welcome to the Rising Tribe. I'm Jared, and I'm Austin, and our goal is to inspire young men to build strong families and discover their potential as men, husbands, and fathers.
And we'll do this by having authentic conversations about faith, family, and business, and how we're leveling up our own lives and helping up— what the heck?
Yo, dude, I'm so sorry.
I didn't— I just saw that it didn't copy the whole thing over. Where's the—
where the freak is the rest?
Welcome to the Okay, well, we typically have a script thing, but then when we copied and pasted it, it didn't— the whole thing didn't come through. But basically, we're leveling up our lives in every category. And we're excited to have you here. Welcome to the show.
Dude, you can tell we haven't recorded in like 6 months, dude.
Well, it feels like an entire It feels like an entire freaking year. I mean, it's passed because I don't know, dude, like our— I'm sure life looks totally different for you. And our rule before we started this was, hey, we're not going to talk before we go. We're just going to hit record, then talk. Because I'm like, I want to talk.
Yeah. Um, well, dude, I realized that, uh, when I went and looked, Marshall was like, when was the last time you and Austin recorded? And I was like, oh, let me check. And I checked when we posted it and we posted the episode the day after, um, our third daughter was born. So I can't— I don't remember if we recorded before she was born or right afterwards, but, um, but dude, we have another daughter and she's like almost 6 months old now.
That is insane.
Yeah, so we got 3 little girls at home, dude, which is crazy. And they're so different. It is so wild to watch them like as they get older and their personalities are like starting to flourish. Like our second Uh, Saoirse, she's 2 and some— in a couple months, and she's like a feral wild animal, dude. She is crazy. Uh, and, uh, yeah, and Margaret's just a bundle of, of happiness and joy. So, um, they're all in. Uh, so the youngest is Margaret.
Margaret. I like that.
Yeah, uh, but our daughters call her Margo all the time. So that's a— it's a nickname that's sticking. But yeah, they're all up in Colorado Springs right now because I'm at my— so I'm at a 6-week training in Texas, and then I'm going straight from here back to Italy to go finish like separating from the base. So I'll be in Italy for about 2 weeks, and then I will go back to the Springs. I'll pick up the girls and our cats, and then we'll fly to Japan.
Oh, you're going to Japan now?
Yeah, so we are moving to Japan and we will be, uh, we'll be at this— it's a dude, it's a tiny island because Japan's like, there's like the main island and then just a string of small islands. And so Okinawa is, uh, one of the islands, uh, near the bottom of the string. It's like super close to Taiwan, super close to the Philippines. Um, so we're gonna go, uh, we're gonna go live on that island for the next 3 years, which is, uh, super exciting.
Wow. Uh, super close to Philippines. Dude, there's probably like— I mean, how far away from Hawaii are you at that point?
Um, it's, it's still— I mean, it's still like a several-hour flight, but most people come in from the States, like our family, they've all said that they're just gonna stop in Hawaii anyway because that's where my little sister lives with her husband. Um, and so if they're gonna cross the whole Pacific, they'll stop in Hawaii to see them and then they'll fly over to Japan.
Whoa, I did not know you were going to Japan.
Yeah, dude, it's crazy. And, uh, we— Marisha and I are talking about how, um, we just have— we still have some more adventuring in us. Like, there are a lot of people who have been overseas for like 15 years or 10 years and they're like, yeah, I'm ready to go back to the States. They just want to be closer to family, want to be ready for the, uh, the conveniences of living in the US again. And, um, And being in the US again, this is the first time Marisha and I have both been back in the States in a few years. And like, it is convenient. There are so many things that just make life so much more convenient. Like, it's like mind-blowing. But we still have more adventuring in us, more things that we want to do. So we are gonna keep going. And yeah, so we'll— but after Japan, I have to go back to Colorado Springs so I can teach at the Academy. So that's already kind of like built into our progression.
But yeah, after Japan, you're going back to the Air Force Academy.
Yeah. And when I'd say it's solidified in the sense that, or it's as solidified as things in the military can be solidified, like they have it on their rosters that I am going to the academy summer of 2029. Um, but lots of things have happened in the last few years that no one thought was possible when it comes to decisions made inside the military. So, um, we will see, we'll see what happens. Like I can very easily see a world where that changes or where they just like forego my payback entirely because of mission requirements or whatever they want to call it. But we're open to it. But we are really hoping to come back to the Springs at least for one assignment so we can live close to Marissa's parents. She's got several siblings that live in the Springs. And then after that, we'll kind of decide where we want to go from there, whether we want to stay in or whether we want to get out. The biggest driver right now for us getting out isn't the military itself, but actually just, uh, Marisha's parents, um, because they'll be in their late 70s when we finish up in Colorado. So like, we very well may want to, um, like just try to either join the Guard or just stick around, like to leave to be civilians and, and to just be in the Springs to spend more time with her parents, um, as they get older.
Colorado is beautiful. We Yeah, we would. Uh, Kaya's folks are getting, you know, I mean, all of our parents are getting older, but like my, my, my mom's getting older, um, Kaya's parents getting older. That's what people do, I guess. And so we've considered getting a house out in Arizona for the same reason. And we're close enough to my mom right now to where we get to see her pretty frequently. You know, she's up in Delaware, so Yeah, yeah. Arizona would be the— is the move that we're thinking of. We go out to Arizona every month now because we're doing all the— all the Elliott stuff. Yeah.
Oh, that's right. That's right.
Right, right, bro. It's— it's been wild recently. But we— where do I start here? Um, long story short, I made that reel making fun of Andy Elliott. Do you remember that?
Yes. I do.
That fast?
And he responded to it and he said, get in the best shape of your life and then we'll talk.
Yeah, of course. You know, there is obviously a play to that. Like they got me plugged into their business and it's been life-changing. It's been freaking amazing. We joined their brotherhood. So we went to an event, it was great. And then we joined their brotherhood and that's like their inner circle. So like Andy's been mentoring me one-on-one for the last 4 months, 3 and a half months. And it's been sick, dude. We go to every single one of his events. And like the other people that we're connected with have been so cool. Like, everybody there is like jacked, tan, and they love Jesus. And they love their families. It's like, like, it's like, oh, cool. These are my type of people. So that's been really exciting. So we fly to Arizona like every month for these events. And, you know, events are dope. We do like morning workouts, uh, and then, and then afterwards we do like a full day of training and then we rinse and repeat the next day. Literally like, yeah, morning workouts. These guys are nuts. Like some of these guys are doing their 3:30 workouts so they can get to the Elliott Group in time for their workouts. But like, dude, it's just such a fun culture of people. And then I brought that energy back into my business and back into our house and everything. And it's been, dude, it's been electrifying. Like, I mean, just one little message on Instagram from my coach Chandler Weidman at the other group. He's like, hey, you should come look at an event. And then that turned into Andy like being like, hey, get a 6-pack and we'll talk. And then I hired a fitness coach. And then I, dude, I'm down 50 pounds from my heaviest. Like, dude.
Yeah. So you are, you were sub-200 right now. That is less than I weigh.
Oh, really?
Yeah. Yeah. I weigh, I weigh about 208.
Dude, it feels awesome to be at sub 200.
How are you feeling?
So I, my, it's been so like progressive. Like it hasn't been, I mean, it's been fast, but it's been a lot of the lifestyle changes. Like I'm walking 12,000 steps a day. Uh, my calorie count's under 2,000 a day. My coach has it at 1,700, but it— I, I sometimes will hit that 1,700, 1,800, but it's typically under 2,000. And then we track macros, and then I lift. I lift heavy like all the time now. And so it's like squat, deadlift, and bench. So we're doing twice a week squat, twice a week deadlift, twice a week bench, plus the steps. It's just been insane. And so, dude, like, I look back at pictures of like, even when we went to Greece to run the race, like Yeah, I saw your post about that, dude. Bro, I didn't think I was overweight back then, but like, I look at it now and I'm like, dang, dude. Like, I just, I don't know. It was, uh, it was wild. Like, I actually thought I had abs back then, for real. Like, I would look at pictures, I'd be like, hey, Kai, look, I've got abs. And she's like, no, bro, that's like your belly. But I would get super offended too. Yeah, but, um, but you know, it's okay. Like, that was, that was a time in my life that I needed to have and And I look back and I'm like, I think I was just so stressed out back then. And I didn't know if anything was going to work back when we went to Greece. I was so freaking stressed. And now it's— then we went through another season, like another quote unquote slow season, because that was last year in October. It was another like period of uncertainty. And now we're kind of going into that similar phase right now, but I know that everything's going to work out for sure. I'm like not even stressed. It's really freaking fun to run a business. And it's also like, I've been learning how to deal with these like emotional roller coasters of, you know, high months and low months and, and just also going all in, bro. Like, like the most recent is, are you familiar with who Bradley is?
I don't think so.
He's a big sales podcaster guy. But we're getting on a podcast with him on Monday. I just got the call yesterday and I'm flying out to do a podcast with him on Monday. We're doing a YouTube episode with Andy Elliott. We just did a podcast with Sam Taggart, which is huge. How'd it go? Yeah, dude, that was sick. And it was so cool that he had me on his show too because I bought a booth at his event. A lot of stuff in that whole like sales influencer world, like it's pay to play. Like you're not getting that stuff for free. And so I bought a bigger booth at his event and it came with a podcast. But that podcast is just going to do wonders for just exposure.
Oh yeah, dude. He is, he's like the king.
Yeah, dude. And it was cool because he made a big impact on my life when I started in door to door. Yeah. So It was cool, like full circle moment for me. Because I got to like say, hey, bro, thanks so much for all your help. And, you know, thanks for making this Golden Door Award and all this stuff. And so it was cool. And Sam was a little bit harder to do an interview with because he's a little bit more all over the place. But like, it was like a conversation. And which honestly, it was kind of cool. You sit down with some of these high-level guys and you're like, oh, cool. This is just a normal dude. Just hanging out and chatting. Right. But I don't know, dude. I, the course is blowing up. The, the, the YouTube's doing well. The roleplay group coaching is going well. And kids like—
So are you still doing the roleplaying group every day?
Yeah, dude. I think we're gonna scale it back eventually, but for right now, the kid, the kids love it and it's, it's making an impact. And so I, I'll still do it every day. But the course, we added like a, the course subscription. We're gonna, we're raising prices on that on Monday.
Mm-hmm.
Because we took, dude, actually every single Rising Tribe episode is integrated in there from, from the things I've said. We took this, this Delphi, it's called Delphi AI, but it has taken every single thing that I have said, compiled it into a brain. And now it talks like me down to the list. And so kids can call it and converse with it and ask advice for their door knocking summers. And so I've like scaled myself. Dude, it's sick. So yeah, that's kind of like the, the, how, you know, how can I scale my impact? And like, well, I'll just recreate my brain. And it's not totally accurate yet. I've got to go in and sit with it and train it. And like talk to myself first. Hey dude, you're not supposed to say this. When someone asks you this, you need to say this. Because the other day I was roleplaying with it and I'm like, can I have a card? And it goes, yes, of course you can have a card. Please get back to me later. And I'm like, no dude, you're supposed to overcome the objection. Like, marriage is good. My kids are good. They're getting bigger.
How does, uh, how does Kaya, how does Kaya feel? How has Kaya felt? Um, I'm super curious. How has Kaya felt as you have started to, um, get more and more involved in the Elliott world? And then how— and then separately, I also want to know how she's felt as you have gone through your, your weight loss and your fitness journey? Because I know she's super big in fitness and weightlifting and all the things, but what has it been like for her to watch you go through some of these transformations? And I know she's going to events with you too, right? You're both going to—
Yeah.
I'm not familiar with all of Andy Elliott's different events that he has, but I know he has one for couples and stuff. So I think you guys said you were going to that one. So I want to hear everything you got on Kaya's perspective.
But like, Kaya is the main reason that we decided to, to like do that. Which first of all, like, I thought she was insane. I was like, are you okay? Because when we, when we went to the first event, first of all, we went to the first event with this thing called the Business Mastery Syndicate. And I told her, I was like, hey, I'd actually really want to go with you. Are you down to go to this 2-day event? And she's like, yeah, I'll go with you. And I was like, holy smokes. Like, what are you— okay, I guess we'll go. Like, I didn't expect her to say yes.
Yeah.
So then we go to this event together. She knows I'm building this Maser Sales Training and I want to— like, dude, what Andy Elliott does and what these Patrick Bet-Davids do and Tony Robbins do is like what I'll be doing. And she knows that. Like, she knows that's where I'm headed. And We're at the event. And it's amazing, dude. They do an incredible job. And the connections there are insane. Like, dude, I'm good friends with one of Ed Mylett's best friends now. Like, like, what the heck? Like, he's just a genuine dude. I didn't even know that until like, you know, like, hours into talking with him. And now I'm gonna go to his event up in Seattle this next month. His friends, Tate Jordan. His name is Tate Jordan, one of the most genuine dudes I've ever met in my life. But I'm just meeting people that are doing some really cool stuff right now. And so we went, we went to this place and we're like, hey dude, like, I want to be with these people because they're good people. Kaya saw it immediately. And I do, I think too, there's part of us where like we were starting to feel like, I guess we didn't have many friends out here in Georgia that really freaking inspired us.
Yeah.
Like, very, very few. And it didn't need to be a financial thing that really blew our minds. It was just like, how do these people hold themselves in their lives? And so our best friends, like Tyler McPhee and Leah McPhee, and their 6 kids, we just had them over for a movie night last night. Like, even Tyler just started his fitness business and he, uh, and he's doing like, you know, he's gonna help dads get in shape again. Okay.
Yeah.
Um, but he almost took his life 5 years ago. And of all my friends, to suicide. And of all my friends, he's got one of the most solid marriages. And that inspires me. So it doesn't necessarily need to be financial stuff because he's got 6 kids and he was like struggling to make ends meet for a long time. But there are things in his life where I'm like, dude, you really inspire me. You make me a better person. You show up every day to work out with me. But like, they were friends where I'm like, dude, we love these people. We really want to be around them. But I can, I can confidently say like we didn't have a whole lot of other friends that really were pushing us. Okay. Yeah. And so when Kaya went to the event with me, she was like, oh my gosh, how do we get around these people more often? Because she knew that if I get around more of those people, I'm gonna go harder too. And so we sat down in— they call it their war room— and Andy Elliott pitched his brotherhood. Okay.
Mm-hmm.
And he writes out the investment rates, the investments to join, you know, his brotherhood and everything. And I'm like, oh my gosh, okay. Um, I don't even want to go into it because the only person that listens to this is my stepmom. So I have to have a conversation with her about that. So it's like, whatever, dude. Like, it's a 6-figure investment to join his brotherhood to be coached with him. Okay. And we hear it and I'm like, Oh, that's insane. And Kaya's in the room and they basically close it out and he's like, okay, if you want to do this, you can do this. If you want to do the one-on-one coaching, do that. And he leaves the room. And then Kaya's like, do you want to stay and ask questions? I'm like, absolutely not. Let's get out right now. And they, you know, they leave you with your folder and everything. Well, I knew that it was something I really wanted to do, but I also didn't know where Kaya was at.
Yeah.
We left the event overwhelmed by how awesome it was, by the experience we had, by the idea of being coached by Andy. Like, because I did— I really look up to him a lot. Like, he's done some really cool stuff. And then recently, he's totally changed his heart. And he's like Christian through and through. Like, the guy doesn't— I swear more than he swears. Like, dude, like, the guy doesn't drop any F-bombs. I was there for 2 days straight with him. I've not heard him drop a single F-bomb. Whereas traditionally, if you think of Andy Elliott, he's just vulgar and like awful, like online.
Yeah.
But dude, like, he's had a lot of things in his life happen where if he— if he— I was on a call with him one day and he said, if there were things that happened in my own life that if I didn't turn to Christ, if I didn't surrender to the Holy Spirit, then I would have killed somebody. Which means some bad stuff happened in his family, and the only way for him to like get through it was to like turn to God. And so he's totally Christian through and through. It's like, you don't just go from dropping the F-bomb every day of your life to like, oh, now I'm putting up a facade of like, I'm Christian now. Like, dude, this is like his— he's a Christian for the rest of his life. And that really called my attention. Well, Kaya, we're home and everything. She's like, hey dude, we gotta, we gotta be with these guys. And I'm like, I don't— Kaya, like, I don't have the money to do that right now. I really don't. And she's like, well, we got to figure it out. I'm like, well, how? Like, we got to sell the duplex? What are we going to do? And she's like, figure it out. So that has been one of the most powerful phrases my wife has ever said. She's like, you'll figure it out. Same thing with the basement. I'm sitting in my basement, finished basement. We got this cool— like, that's our— this is our logo.
Wait, dude, when did you finish the basement?
Bro, it's, it's insane. Okay, so this will, this will explain the story. We joined the brotherhood, we had made, we've been making like deposits into our basement and everything. And dude, I kid you not, we ran more money than I've ever ran in my life. I had to open up a business. Oh, you'll like this, bro. Platinum Reserve Amex, the ones with no spending limit on it. I just opened one up, ripped it for the total investment, and then like maxed out 2 others. And then I kid you not, within 5 weeks I had all of them paid off. Well, dude, like when I did that—
5 weeks?
Yeah, I had a— yeah, it was, it was nuts because we had a couple of like big company deals go through that worked and, you know, 500 seats, 300 seats, and it just worked. And I'm like, holy smokes. Like, one of the best— here's, here's what I learned from that. And it was my wife who pushed me to do it, by the way. What I learned from it is like, God will, God will put people in front of you when he sees that you're ready to take care of them. And I, and that's not to say that the only way to follow God was to do this Elliott event, because that would be, you know, priestcraft, right? But like, yeah. But to think that like, hey, there's a dream that I have. Am I willing to actually do the things I say I'm going to want? Am I willing to do the things that are required to do what I say I want to do? And in that world, in the sales coaching and all of that, like, you get in with a mentor. That's— and that's what I do for a living. Like, I literally teach kids how to sell. And the one-on-one mentorships for me, like, I'm asking kids to run $18,000 on a credit card.
Cool.
So, like, is the Andy Elliott investment really all that crazy? No. And so when I got in with those guys, I raised my prices. I restructured a lot of my offers. They, they like my coach and Chandler Weidman, like he's helping me restructure a lot of things in my business and we've been more profitable because of it. But like, dude, I am a firm believer in coaching. And so to the same point, how's Kaya reacted with the body transformation? Well, when she saw how I started to, before, before I got to Elliot's event, when she saw how I started to take fitness more seriously and how I wanted to actually get in shape, I think she was like, dude, I gotta get Austin around these people more because he's actually doing the stuff that I've been telling him to do for 5 freaking years and he's only listening to some bald guy. So, okay, let's just get him in front of this bald guy more often. And, um, the stuff he's been telling me, dude, like, if you know, if you think about it, my, my fitness coach Brian Lund, nothing he has told me has been like, Tracking food, like, that's insane. Like, I didn't ever think—
I never would have thought that I should be in the gym and tracking how much I'm eating and what things I'm eating. Like, it's— they're all things that you already know and that you, if someone asked you how to do this, you would respond with the same answers.
Yeah. And so it just goes back to like, implementation is, is, is totally different than information because everybody knows what they need to do. But until they have skin in the game, until they've actually put money on themselves, I don't think people take it seriously. And I've seen that in my own coaching because on YouTube I have a free script. I have free YouTube that if kids actually used, I bet you they could have their best summers of their life. But there's something that changes when people put their backs up against the wall and when people put money down on themselves, it's instantly real. It's like you in fitness coaching, you pay for your results. Like I paid $5,200 to a body transformation coach. And I instantly took it more serious. And it changed my life, dude. Like, Kaya obviously is is like way stoked because I I look great. Like, I look fantastic. But I think she's you know. I think it's funny because the same level of confidence I had, like when we went to Greece, I would look in the mirror and I'd be like, "Kaya, I look like a Greek god." Like I always okay. I looked more like chunkilies, not hunkilies. You know what I mean? But, but I thought I looked like Hercules, you know, but, but like, I'm— I've got way more confidence now, which, you know, which is great. But, um, I think too, I've actually had multiple people reach out to me like, hey dude, you're, you're on, you're on top of your high horse. Be careful, be humble. And I'm like, listen, as long as I'm doing it with a, with a, with a heart posture to inspire other people, I'm fine to be full of myself if I'm, if I'm helping others be full of themselves too. I think it's really cool to really love yourself, to really, really be excited about who you are and the change that you're making and the progress that you're making. So if you look at my Instagram recently, I'm pretty excited to be alive right now, like really freaking excited. And I love my life. Yeah.
You can, um, I, as a, as an outside viewer, like watching, uh, uh, a lot of the stuff that you're putting up on Instagram, like there is a It is notable the difference in your energy now compared to the first, like the first reels and the first videos that you were putting up. And a lot of it is, um, is positive, like excited energy, not just like happy energy, but like excited, uh, like excited for life, excited for growth and movement. And you can feel the momentum, like reel after reel. Um, and so I'm really excited that you're saying that. And I think And this is, this is obviously me just kind of trying to like get inside Kaya's brain, but I would bet that she is— that, that her push to support you and to get you with the people that will help you change, I think she is probably far more excited about watching you take action than she is about any of your results. Because I mean, you guys got married long before you had any of these results, right? And she But she's probably seeing like, you know, I've tried, I've tried to get Austin to do this, I've tried to do him that. And like, and maybe— and I know we've talked about it before— like some, some frustrations of like, um, maybe he's not doing this or he's not doing this, whatever. But when maybe realizing that if, you know, if I'm not the one, if I tell him this thing 50 times and he doesn't do it, or he thinks he's doing it but he's not, and then all I got to do is put him around some of these other people and then he does it. Like, you, on the one hand, you could be like, well, that's so frustrating that Austin doesn't listen to me. He listens to those dudes. Like, what's wrong with me? Or what's wrong with my husband? But instead, her response is, how do I get him around those guys more often? Like, I, like, I— tremendous respect for Kaya and for her ability to support you and to— and like, not to take a— I don't want to say take a backseat because that's not the right word, but To like, to let the person drive who is actually going to change you or help you change yourself and to be okay with that and then to support it. I think that is awesome. I think that is so awesome.
We got in a huge— like, I thought it was a fight, but it wasn't.
Okay, strong start.
This was, this was like, she was like, Austin, you only listen to dudes. And I was like, no, I don't. Like, no, I don't. And she goes, no, dude, like, you literally only listen to other dudes. And she's like, I've been telling you stuff forever. And I'm like, well, don't say that. It makes me feel like a loser. And she's like, no, no, I'm not mad. I'm just telling you, you only listen to other dudes. And I was like, so you're not mad? And she's like, no. I'm like, okay, well then you're right. She's like, it'd be nice if you listened to me every now and then. I'm like, well, I do sometimes. But, but you're right. Like, it has been, it has been really special to see her want me to be in these areas. And like, since then, we've done some really cool stuff. Like on March 3rd, we have an event with Andy Elliott, Ben Kerr, Jeremy Davis, and then Brian Lund, all the people who have changed my life over the last year and a half, 2 years. I'm just having him speak at my event. We just launched tickets, dude. It's so cool to see Kaya just full support. It's not uncommon for me to walk up to Kaya with a little grin where I'm like, hey, I did a thing again. And she's like, what did you do? I had this conversation with her yesterday. I'm like, well, I'm going to Vegas tomorrow night and I'm doing a podcast with Bradley. And she's like, all right. This is the life we signed up for. So this is, this is kind of like our future in the whole sales coaching and business consulting world is just like any opportunity we take, we take it now and we don't think twice. And it's, it's just gonna pay off tenfold. And all the while, man, like our marriage has become so much closer. Like we have, we have a marriage retreat October— no, we have a marriage retreat September 9th and 10th, and then we're gonna be spending the 11th through the 13th or something like that at Andy's place down in Mexico. And then we have another marriage retreat October 10th and 11th in Vegas. So like we're doing these things together. Like every event we go to feels like a marriage retreat because we're getting away, we're going to a hotel, we're taking notes, we're learning about business. He always has ideas for my business now. And like every single time we leave one of these events, we leave with actionable things that we need to do. Like our first event we ever went to, Business Mastery Syndicate, The action items were hire a personal assistant and create a digital mind. Cool, did it. But like the crazy thing is there's a lot of people that will go to these conferences and self-help stuff and there's never any actionable things. They just go because they love being entertained. Bro, I want to implement as soon as I can because— and dude, the implementation is hella scary because it typically costs money to do. Like hiring a personal assistant, by the way, life-changing. I don't book flights, I don't do cars, I don't do hotels, I don't do anything anymore. I just text my personal assistant everything. Game-changing, dude. Like, and it was so dope because now all of the people in my— like all my customers, they just communicate with her. I don't talk anything admin with anybody. The only thing I talk about is sales now and coaching and everything. So— Or I'm just dealing with bigger ticket clients now. But dude, that that was a huge takeaway that I'm like learning how to grow a business. And bro, like so freaking grateful. Like I look back and I look at like I look at my vision board and it's like everything that the first ever vision board I made, everything that I have on there, like we're living right now. But to an even to like the nth degree now, I'm like oh my gosh, like. I thought this was as cool as we're gonna get. Like, you know, have like speak on stage one time. I'm like, no, no, I'm gonna speak on stages a lot of times to a lot of people. Like, it's just been— my whole vision for my life has been magnified because I'm around other people that are doing like huge things. And dude, I'm fired up, dude. I'm like, how far can I take this thing? But dude, I'm way more— for all— for so long in my life, I was like, I'm all in. And I could never, I never really went all in until I was forced to. And that's just, I mean, like, I was like, think like putting money on myself for the first time ever, like to that degree. I was like, okay, cool, we're gonna go all in. And it ended up working out great. And now I know the formula for like, hey, if you want to make some big moves, take a leap of faith, it works. So I have data now that shows like back in October when I met When, when me and you met up in Greece, I didn't have data that said that a leap of faith typically works other than my sales career. Like, hey, work hard in sales, right?
Right.
But like the business side, I had no data that said if you take the leap of faith into doing your own business, it will work. I was— and it scared the heck out of me. So now that I have data that says like time and time again, when I've taken the leap, It works, bro. Like, I'm, I'm unhinged. Like, dude, if I went into all the details here, I— it would just be like, you're like, you're an idiot, Austin, what are you doing? I'm like, well, dude, it's working, so we're firing away.
That's right.
So, dude, I'm just stoked. Like, the all-in energy in every category of our lives. And we've started doing scripture study more as a family, family prayers more. And taking church more seriously, like, like, that's been another big adjustment too, is like, all the people I hang out with there, like a lot, a lot of my friends now, like, dude, you're one of the best examples in my life of what it means to be a devout member of our faith. Like, like, you're one of those, those friends that I'm like, oh, that's why we all— that's why I'm on these calls with you all the time, because you inspire me so much to be a better Christian and to be a better disciple. Thank you.
So what's your, uh, what's your calling in church?
Bro, it was, it was a young men's leader, and I am gone pretty much all the time for like activities during the week, during the summer. So I think they've pivoted from that, bro. I always joke, and I always said, I always told Kaya, I just want to be the Word of Wisdom counselor. And you know, like, we just get the whole work jacked. And, um, you know, the ward of wisdom, the ward of wisdom, uh, ambassador. That would be a fun calling. And then lead workouts and help people with their nutrition, um, in, in the ward, because we always joked about that. But that would be a, you know, just go up on the pulpit and be like, you're out of shape, you're out of shape, you're out of shape.
Anyways, yeah, I think that would go over super well.
Oh dude, yeah, whatever bishop called me to that calling would be released immediately.
So, uh, dude, we, uh, we're pretty excited. Uh, I've been the ward secretary out in Italy, and, um, so we're— and Marisha has been in the Young Women's. Um, so we're, we're pretty excited now that we're going to Japan. One, because we're going to it's technically a branch, but a branch that's like 3 times the size as our ward was in Italy. So, and they have to call it a branch because of the way the stake or the district is structured, but the base is a lot bigger.
Okay.
Kadena Air Base is like humongous. It's probably 3 or 4 times as big as Aviano is. And so the ward, there's like multiple wards out there, and there's also like a Marine base or a couple Marine bases and stuff. So it's, it's pretty big. So Marisha and I are like, honestly, we're pretty excited to like to show up and to just like to get a calling and to get to serve. There's also gonna be a temp— or there is a temple. Like the church building shares a parking lot with the temple, like right outside the main gate for the base. So we can go to the temple whenever we want instead of having to drive like 6 or 7 hours down to Rome to go to the temple, or drive like 8 hours up to Switzerland to go to the temple. Um, so we're, we're pretty excited for the, um, the change in environment that's going to allow us a change in lifestyle and then change in like our routines and our ability to like, you know, how do we get— how do we make friends with other people who have kids and take turns so that, you know, the couples can go to the temple together and do more of that together? Um, so we're, we're pretty excited about that. And I've— dude, I've always wanted to be in the Young Men's. But I, like, I've only ever been in the elders quorum and then the ward secretary. So I'm hoping that I get put in the young men's, but we'll see.
You'd be an awesome young men's leader. That'd be fun.
It would. Yeah, I think it would be a lot of fun for sure.
That's cool. You guys have a temple like right next— now, will you guys live pretty close to the church building?
We don't know. The way housing works when you're in the military is you— most bases have like housing on base that you can stay on, or like government-owned housing just right off of the base. But Italy does not. It's one of the few bases that has no housing. So we lived off base the entire time. Now when you go to a base that does have housing, it doesn't mean you have to live on base necessarily. Most people, or a lot of people, tend to live off base. But there are some huge advantages to living on base. Like, if you live on base, you don't receive a housing allowance and you don't receive any money for utilities. You just, like, you don't get paid any of that, but you don't pay any of it either. You just have a house that you now rent and you don't have to worry about utilities or anything. And generally speaking, the houses on base usually have larger yards. And while the houses themselves may not be You know, too exciting. They're usually relatively spacious enough. They're like utility, you know, like they get the job done and they're good enough and they've got lots of yard space. And so, and the way that, because it's a base and, you know, who's allowed on base and off base and whatnot, it's relatively safe and yards are usually connected. And so kids tend to be able to just kind of like run around, like, yeah, just like run around playing with each other out in the yards without too much issue. And so we are, Hoping to live on base when we get to Japan, but there are restrictions. So usually if the base housing is too full, then they will make you live off base. But if the base housing isn't full enough, then they will make you live on base. It totally depends. And there are— and it's not just like that you have, let's say, you know, 200 houses and you just got to fill them up, but they are— they're divided up into different sizes and to different communities.
Mm-hmm.
Based on what your rank is, how big your family is, all of that stuff. So it may be that even though housing itself is quite full, that the houses for our rank, grade, and size of family are not so full. And so then we'd be able to live on base. But we've submitted the housing applications and everything, and we actually just have to kind of wait until we show up before we find out what's available.
Oh, you're going to show up to Japan and then find out?
Yeah. So there's like a temporary housing on base. It's like a kind of like a hotel, um, and that's where you move into as a family. Like a hotel with, you know, like a full kitchen and stuff. And so you move into there for, you know, a few weeks, um, while you sort out getting a house, whether it's on base or off base. And then once you have the house, then you're allowed to move into it. But dude, get this, we had to pack up all our stuff in Italy. We had movers come, they packed up all our stuff. It's gonna take 5 months for that stuff to get to Japan.
Bro, what about your gym?
Dude, so our gym is like— I— so I disassembled the gym because it was— so when the movers come, they will disassemble things like for you and bag them up and send them. But dude, I was— I was not playing around with the gym. I was like, dude, I do not want these dudes freaking screwing this stuff up. Like, this is— this is my sacred place. So I— I disassembled the whole gym. I took all the weights downstairs, um, and like out in the living room, and I just like— I set them up and I Like, okay, now that they're all here, everything's disassembled, hardware is like bagged and tagged and all the things, like now you can take it. So that stuff will probably get to Japan in December.
Why does it take so long?
Dude, I, I think it probably has more to do with like customs issues as it's leaving Italy because the Italian bureaucracy is, is quite insane. Um, and then it gets put on a boat and then I'm pretty sure it gets rowed by hand by like 3 people from Italy to Japan. Like, I don't know why it takes that long, but we have friends who have moved from here to Kadena and people who have moved from Kadena here, and in both directions it has taken about 5 months for that stuff to get there. So we don't expect to see any of that stuff until November or December. Um, but if we do live on base, I am a little bit worried about the gym space because the houses themselves are not too big. Um, and so, and like the, and even if there's like square footage, like enough square footage necessarily, I don't know where we're gonna put the space. I don't know how low the ceilings are. Um, 'cause like we may be in a position where like the squat rack fits, but I can't lift anything over my head. Um, 'cause like my reach is like over 8 feet. So if we've got like 8.5-foot ceilings, dude, I'm gonna be hitting the ceiling when I do like overhead presses and stuff.
The living spaces on that side of the world are way smaller for sure. Like in Japan, from what I've heard and seen from my buddies who have visited there, it's not really like the whole like vaulted ceilings, big stuff. Like that's not a thing out there.
Like, no, no. And not in base housing either, for sure.
Like pure essentialism. And that's one thing that I like about like whenever I see, whenever I sell door to door with, you know, people who are from that, that part of the world, like You know, it's, it's just pure essentials. Like there's not a lot of clutter and, um, the bare necessities. And I think it's, there's a simple way of it. My, my stepsister served her mission in, um, gosh, I think she's Taiwan. And then, and then her, her husband served on the, in, in the same area, you know, same region. But like their house is so simple. Like there's not a lot of clutter. It's very neat. And I think they kind of, I don't know, they might've picked that up from their missions. I don't know. But like, that's that's the vibes I get. I'm like, you guys are like, I feel like I'm in Japan right now. So so anyways, but that's something that'll be cool. That'll be really, you know, the home gym. I think you look back on that. That's probably best one of the best decisions you made for your life.
Dude, easiest money. Like especially now. I remember when when we had talked to you had talked about getting your gym and you're like, yeah, I told Kaya I'm getting her a gym. And I just went on to Rogue and freaking add this, add this, add this. $10,000 later and we're done.
Very impulsive. I—
dude, I remember thinking, holy crap, I could never do that. Like, oh, and Marisha would kill me. Like, how? But then— and we like, we kind of tiptoed into that conversation, me and Marisha, and we agreed like, we're not gonna go whole hog, but we are gonna get enough stuff. to replace me going to the gym. Like, it's no good if I still go to the gym a few times a week because we don't have enough equipment. Like, there's no point. Let's just do— let's do it. And there's still a few things, um, that I want to add to the gym for sure. Um, and I definitely want a little bit more space because we had like just enough space to be using a barbell, but like I'd have to like move things. I'm constantly like shuffling things around to make enough space to do an exercise. Um, but now I go back and I look at like, um, other gym equipment. And I'm like, oh dude, easy. Oh, it's, it's gonna cost $1,000? That's not a big deal. We can do that. Now we haven't done any of it because we haven't— because we're moving and stuff. But like, I'm looking at like, you know, like maybe the Nord Stick Pro or like, uh, the Freak Athletes, uh, like the, um, hyperextension machines and stuff. And I'm like, okay, if we could do that, we would just need— I just need enough space really is what it is. And that's like, we're more limited on space than we are on the desire, if you will. Um, But dude, game-changing, dude. And my girls spend more time in the gym. Like, and not that small children need to be weightlifting necessarily, but like, they're comfortable being in the gym. They're comfortable being around the weights. They spend more time climbing on top of them and wrapping them in blankets and tying things to them. But like, it's part of the family that we go in the weight room, that we're gonna exercise, um, that daddy's gonna drink his pre-workout before we go. And like, it's normal.
Yeah.
And I think we've talked about it before, but like, I never— I didn't— I never grew up watching my parents exercise. My dad would go to the gym. Well, he would tell me he'd go to the gym, but, um, I don't know how much he was actually at the gym. Like, I know he went to the gym, but also he was doing a bunch of shady stuff that he didn't tell us about. And so we don't actually know how much he was— the things that he said were true. Um, but I did go to the YMCA gym with him a few times. Like, I remember doing that. And I remember going and playing volleyball with him. uh, like in open gyms at the YMCA when I was, you know, 12 or 13. But like watching my parents exercise or like take fitness seriously, it wasn't a part of our life. And that's something that I'd like to change, you know. I want, I want it to be— when we interviewed, uh, when we talked to Mike, uh, wasn't it Mike who told us that his family like at Thanksgiving gets together and like They do. Oh, that was Talon. Okay.
Yeah. Talon, they have a nasty lift every Thanksgiving and Christmas together. That's their thing.
Dude, I love it. Like, so great. It's like, it's an activity that you do together and there's a level of competition to it, but also surrounding something that is so good for you, which is taking care of your body and exercising. Like, I love it.
Yeah, Kaya. Yeah, we did. We'd like to do these turkey trots now. They're fun. But dude, to your point too, like our daughters, like we were just hanging out in the gym last night. My daughter's got the 5-pound dumbbells. They were flipping them around doing burpees. Like they love that stuff. And your daughter, what does she call them? Burpees?
Oh, burpees. Yeah. Yeah, she pronunciates a little bit better now. But dude, what's so funny is like our, our 4-year-old Talitha, she'll grab, she'll grab like the 2-kilo weights and she'll like pick them up. She'll be like, oh, it's so heavy. And then Saoirse's over here trying to grab like the, the 4-kilo and the 6-kilo weights. And she's like, so she's like picking them up. Like, dude, she's, she's just built with some raw power, that, that little girl.
Yeah, we, yeah, dude, it's fun that you talk about your daughters having different personalities, man. It's fun to see them play and Yeah, Frankie. Frankie's definitely our little bowling ball, you know, our little tank. We call her— I don't know if this is good or not, but we call Francesca Frank the Tank. So yeah, I mean, I don't know if that's a great girl name to have.
How old is she now?
She's 2. She just turned 2. And then Georgia turns 5 in December. We got a Disney cruise coming up with them and the McPhee's that were over here last night. We're like, dude, dude, have you ever read the book Die with Zero?
I haven't read it, but I've listened to a lot of podcasts talk about it.
You read the book, I, I think, dude, I'm already incredibly impulsive, but I read that book and I was like, well, we're doing a Disney cruise, gonna die soon. Um, so, so we booked, I mean, obviously for Door to DoorCon. We— Georgia want— like, Georgia, like, was given the incentive of, hey, if you sell X amount of accounts with me, we'll go on a Disney cruise.
Right.
And so we, we got it, uh, Disney trip. But then I was like, I don't want to do a Disney trip because they're a pain in the butt with lines. And so we just did a Disney cruise. We're gonna go with the McPhee's, and, uh, it'll be good just for those— just for the girls to have those memories. But like I don't know how I got on this, but yeah, I just want to see their personalities come out. Like, they're doing lemonade stands right now to, to save up for their Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique stuff. And like, Mm-hmm. Like, hey, you guys have to work hard if you actually want to do stuff at Disney. So we're gonna go sell lemonade. And now they got their lemonade pitches down. Georgia's lemonade pitch: hi, my name is Georgia. I'm selling lemonade, $1 for cup. How many do you want? And so like, Straight for the— straight for the clothes. Cash or Venmo, she's got it all down.
Dude, I love it.
But dude, that's a little bit like— our lives have been so much fun recently. It sounds like you've got like— we'll have to do another one before 6 months. But like, it's so cool to see what can happen in 6 months. If anything, it's kind of dope. Like 6 months ago, I was a different human. And so were you. And we've both grown a ton. I'm sure our goals have shifted a lot in the best way possible. Like, you had a book the other day. Tell me about that. It was like—
Yeah, it's The 1% Diary by Stephen Bartlett. So he's the, uh, he was the founder and, uh, the host of The Diary of a CEO, like of the podcast and now the business. Um, and the, the book, it's a, it's, it's a planner really is what it is. But just a focused, kind of like you were talking about, you're like, nothing in here is new. Like, yeah, I know I can pick 3 goals. I can set like small, like 1% improvements or small action items to do that. And then I could just put them on my planner and do them and like set a time to do them. Like, I know all of these things and also I'm not doing them. Like, so it doesn't matter what things you know if you're not doing anything. So, So yeah, so I got the journal 'cause I'm gonna be out here for 6 weeks and I'm gonna be in Italy for 2. So like, I'm gonna be gone for 2 months and I don't wanna waste this time. So in the planner, like you— There's like a space for reflection for kind of help dig into your why, why you wanna progress, why you're even doing this in the first place, what it is that you're trying to get after. And what was interesting, I'll share a couple insights that I had in it. But so I'll talk about the framework first and then go back to it. Yeah, so you start with like kind of some vision reflection, if you will. And then you outline just like 3 big goals that you want to work on over a 30, 60, 90-day period. And then small action items you can do around that just to start brainstorming. And then you look at your first week and you put Um, a specific small action that works towards your bigger goal. For each of those 3 goals, you, you pick one and you do them every day. Uh, and then it has like a daily planner of like, these are the hours of the day, now go ahead and take the tasks that you want to do and then other tasks and just put them on as like, as like an agenda or a planner. Um, but as I was writing down, it's like, well, you know, uh, what is your why? Why do you, why do you want to do this? And the first thing that came to my mind was like, I'm doing this for my wife. And then I thought, that actually rings a little bit hollow because I don't think that's true. And it feels a little bit false and like self-aggrandizing almost, or making me seem better than I am, because I'm not doing this for my wife. Like, it's— this isn't actually for her. I'm doing this because I want to be the person God wants me to be, and I am curious what that guy looks like, what he does, what he thinks. And the only person who can get me from here to there is me with his help. But like, God on his own isn't going to make us who he wants us to be. Like, he needs us to be an active, creative participant in the process. And so, um, when I, when I think about like, well, why do I want to improve? Why do I listen to these podcasts? Why do I, uh, why, like, why am I trying? Like, why do I continue to work on the business? Why do it? Why did I think when I come out to Texas, I want to— I don't want to waste my time. I want to schedule my time. I want to be waking up early. I want to be doing all this. I want to make huge headway on the podcast, blah blah blah. If I said, oh, it's so I can provide a better life for my family, like, that's not true. It's not true at all. I love my family. I love my wife. I love my children. But none of this is for them. Doing this podcast with you isn't for them. It's for me to be better. It's for me to grow. It's for me to try to bridge the gap, like Ed Mylett says, to bridge the gap between me and the person that God wanted me to be. And I don't want to get there at that last day and meet the man that I could have been and been like, oh crap, you are so different and so far away from who I truly am. Yeah.
Dude, I, I have that like similar with Andy. I had like a one-on-one with him. I'm sitting down in his office and he's like, he always talks about like killing the old version of yourself. And the similar thing, like when we, when we die and meet God, I always wonder if that version of me has hair or not. So maybe I'll go to Turkey one of these days and get hair. next 3 years. But all on a more serious note, like, he sat me down and he's like, dude, you've had a really cool transformation. I'm so proud of you. He's like, and you're like, you're not even started. Like, you've been, you've been doing this for 3 months, dude. Like, you're— and, and if you let it, he said, the devil will get to us by telling us that we've made enough change and we're good and we don't need to progress anymore. And the devil, the devil was like the king of comfort. Like, he doesn't want you to change. He doesn't want you to grow because he knows if you grow, you're gonna impact more lives. And so the big, the big thing with Andy was like, you still have that old version in you and you need to kill him. And he's like, he's like, there's a, there's a, there's a part of you that still is inside of you and it's a very nasty man that's like, you do not wanna let out ever again in your life. And yeah, we do have that in our— we do have that. We're like, if we, if we allow the natural man, I mean, the scriptures, the natural man is an enemy to God. And so if we let that come out, then we're not going to be able to come closer to God. But I've felt that, like, changing is a very spiritual experience. I spent 2 years, we both spent 2 years telling people they could change and they could grow. And, you know, they could repent from their sins. And I'm like, well, what about other areas of my life? Like, can I change other areas of my life too, through Christ? Like, can I change my fitness? Can I change my marriage? You know, and that's like, I think that's true repentance is change, like deciding I'm going to be different. But dude, it's addicting once you taste that like improvement to just keep going like, hey, how much more can I grow? I would agree with you. I think there's a portion, there's a part where it's like once your basic needs are met, like the bills are paid, you've got everything you need, For your family. It's like, dude, I'm not— you're— I'm not doing anything else to give my life— give my wife a beautiful life because we already have a beautiful life. We already are healthy. We already have beautiful kids. Like, dude, I'm doing this because I want to grow and I want to experience it. I want to push myself. Like, that's totally honorable too. But you're right. Like, to say like, oh, I'm doing this to give my wife and my kids a beautiful life, bro, we already have that. And so do you. Like, yeah, rich man is somebody who's got health and a beautiful wife and beautiful kids. Like, I'm rich. Okay, now I'm just going crazy. But a beautiful life is not sitting back and doing nothing. Like, that is the dumbest thing in the world. Like, why would I want to sit around and do nothing and impact no lives?
Yeah. And one of the questions that I was asking myself was, if you had all the money you wanted, what would you do? And the answer is not sit and watch another episode of Psych. Like, that's, that's not what I want to do. I— and, and thinking like, well, I'm, I'm in the military, I've got, uh, 14 more years if I want to retire out of the military. And if I'm enjoying it, I— or even if I'm not enjoying it, like, I could keep going after that and just continue to increase what our, you know, what our retirement pay is going to be. And like, I'm on a glide path to Being comfortable for the rest of my life and getting to a point where within— where 14 years from now, if I wanted to get out and basically stop working forever, I could, and I could support my family, and I would have all the time in the world to be with my family. But also, I don't want to just be hanging around my wife like, now what are we doing? Now what are you going to do? Like, do you want to play another game? Do you want— like, because that's— it's not who I am. And I, and I know I love spending time with my wife, and my wife loves it when I spend time with her. So like, that's— it's not that, but like, I can't sit still. And I was writing this down as I was reflecting, um, and what is one of the things in there is, um, like, why, uh, yeah, so what is your why, but then, um, what motivates you to grow? And I was like, I can't stop it. I can't— like, I'm, I'm obsessed and I'm addicted to the movement and the progress and seeing results. And growing. And so I like, that's what drives increasing contributions to our retirement accounts, increasing our savings rate, increasing, um, the work and like watching, watching downloads for the podcast for, for the Military Miler, watching them go up, watching the click-through rates increase, watching the number of referrals slowly go up. They're like, the momentum is there and I can't stop when I like, I can't, I can't watch a movie by myself. I genuinely struggle so hard because I sit down when I'm TDY like this, and I sit down and I'm like, okay, I should relax. I've been going hard. Let's just relax. Dude, I can't. I just can't. I'm like 10 minutes into the movie and I'm like, I can't do this. It's a waste of time. And it's not because movies are bad. I can't watch one by myself. It's the same reason I can't play video games by myself. I'm like, the point of... You know, like, this doesn't... If I'm gonna play a video game, it's gonna be with my friends. so that we can spend some time together doing this thing. And I don't even do that hardly ever anymore. But I can't do these things because they're just— and it's not that they're inherently a waste of time, although I'd say maybe I lean more on the they're a waste of time. But I don't want it because what I want to be doing is growing, learning and growing and doing. And so what I want to do is I want to sit down and I want to be reflecting. I want to sit down and I want to be typing out the next episode for the podcast. I want to be sitting down and responding to emails of people who have written in saying they love the podcast. Like, that's what I want to be spending my time doing. Everything else is just a waste. Dude, they are—
it's like, dude, you changed the way we live life. Or I got a, I got a 2-minute-long voice memo yesterday from a young man I started coaching years ago at Anthem, and he had just hit a Golden Door. His name's Elijah Furlong. Had a really troubled upbringing, no dad in his life, really. And I was very hard on him, actually, like very, very hard on him. And he just messaged me yesterday because he had done, you know, he had come out here and he was a young dude, dude, like kids in sales do some stupid stuff, whatever.
Mm-hmm.
But I can't hold him to it forever. The thing is, like, he, you know, you let people change. So we're talking about change. Okay, Elijah changed, you know. He went out and he did a Golden Door. He just did one yesterday, I think. And he sent me like a 2 and a half minute voicemail. He's like, dude, thanks for being hard on me. Thanks for calling me out. I'm like, this is what life's about. Because that guy, he looks up to me. He's like, well, I have a wife and kids. And like, hopefully that guy can go be a good husband and father one day. But like, dude, like you get messages like that all the time. Like, hey, me and my wife went on a vacation for the first time in 20 years. Like, dude, that's— and you're changing marriages through this credit card thing.
Dude, seriously. Like, this guy who's saying, hey, we just PCS'd, and which means a permanent change of station, we moved from one base to another base. He's like, I didn't know that you could upgrade this card to this card. In a 2-minute phone call, I had it upgraded, and then we immediately saved $550 on a, on a plane ticket that we were about to buy before I made that phone call. Thank you so much. Another dude, like, I've— like, he, he just responded, and I sent, I sent Marisha a copy of the, a copy of the email. It's like, I just love, I love getting these emails of like, thank you so much, I love what you're doing. People like, you're doing God's work, thank you so much. Like, yeah, well, and people— so I did a, I did a, I did an interview with Spencer Reese from the Military Money Manual podcast, uh, who's like, he's probably the biggest name out. We've talked about it before. He's the biggest name in, um, military credit card spaces. And, um, so we did, yeah, we, we did an interview and from that point on, my viewership like quadrupled very quick, like so, so quickly. Uh, because a lot of people who listen to him, who he talks about credit cards, but he also talks about military personal finance in general. Um, and spends probably a third of his time talking about credit cards. But a bunch of them hit me up. They're like, hey, I found you from Military Money Manual. I love what you're doing. Thanks for the strategies. This— I got questions. I've been looking for this. I've been trying to piece it together from what he's doing, but I just, I wish someone would just give me, like, help me build, like, a dedicated strategy towards maximizing our rewards, and you are doing it. So thank you. And I'm like, dude, this is it. This is it. And so many people who have reached out saying, hey, I've been looking for this. Thank you for making it. I've been looking for this. And I'm like, dude, that's why I started this, is because I was out here floundering around trying to get answers. And all the big civilian podcasts that I listen to, who are fantastic and way more knowledgeable than me in a lot of ways, they just didn't have the answers because they didn't know. They aren't steeped in this world. But I am. And for whatever reason, I have this strange obsession with maximizing these things. So I'm going to run with it. And guess what? There are actually hundreds of people out there who want to know the same thing, and who reach out to me saying, hey, thanks so much. Hey, did you hear about this? Hey, my buddy told me this. Is it true? How do I do this? What does it do? And it's so fun. And I can't stop. Like, I'm addicted to the progress and to the growth. And maybe there's something unhealthy kinda buried in there, and maybe we'll get to that eventually. But in the meantime—
Fair enough.
Like, it is pushing us forward. It is pushing us towards growth and progress. And like, I'm gonna keep going.
I think, I think as long as you're excited at life and you're blessing others and, and God is the center of your life, I think you can be as excited as you want. And, um, you can do it. You can, you can go as— God wants us to be excited. Like, when my daughters are into like princesses and stuff, I'm like, dude, let's go. Like, Let's do a tea party. Like, even though it's like you're not gonna love us forever. But I think me and your— me and yours business will both evolve and, uh, there'll be different phases of our business. But I, I think it's so wild, like, as you're sharing this stuff, me and you are both sitting in— and when we first started our podcast, you had just landed that sponsorship that totally Blew up and blew up in your face. You remember that? Like, it was totally overwhelming. And I think that was one of the most— I think that was really important for you. Because I think it showed you what it was going to take in order to handle that sort of pressure, number one. I also think it was just the beginnings of like, you look at this, we were like, oh, let's do this Rising Tribe thing. We're gonna have retreats for men. It's like, dude, like that still can evolve into this, right? But like, we're both online coaches, which is wild. I would have never thought in a million years you would be a credit card online coach who's being monetized. Like, you make a career out of it. You will make a career out of this, bro.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and you'll never stop growing. Even if you do this retirement thing in 14 years, there's always this project that you're growing and it's making impact. And the same thing with me, bro. Like, the idea of, like, retiring and doing nothing, just like, that is not fun because I can actively grow something. I want my daughters to see me actively grow something and impact lives. I want my daughters to look at Dad and be like, well, you change lives, Dad. Like, yeah, I do. Like, we teach people really good principles and we mentor them. And, um, dude, it's cool. Like, I'm sitting here, I'm like, dude, You do your— you're doing your credit card thing. I'm doing pest control. And that's where we kind of— those were original passions of ours when we started this in the first place. We have just found ways to impact the world through some random, like, bug spray, credit cards. Like, what? Like, no, no, no. There's ways to make massive impact. And Ben Kehr, my mentor that really took me under his wing when I left Anthem, He was like, dude, pest control is the illusion. So same thing with you. Credit cards are the illusion. What's cool are the lives that you touch, the lives that you impact, the relationships that you make along the way. And that's been the most addicting part of this whole thing for me too, is like getting the messages. You said you're doing God's work. I'm like, bro, I'm teaching how to sell pest control. But you are right. Like, God wants us to impact lives. Yeah.
Uh, I was talking to a few of my buddies who are, uh, In the military, and one of them was like, Jared, what are you gonna do when you get out of the Air Force? Like, you work in aircraft maintenance, uh, like, what are you trying to do? Or you do want to go work for one of the airlines or blah blah blah? I was like, I have no idea what I want to do after the Air Force. But this, you know, the, the job that I have in the military is a big— like, it's a logistics operation, uh, and the subject matter is aircraft. Um, but that's not what That's not what I see out of this. I'm not, I'm not just like a, I'm not a maintenance officer. I mean, I am, but like, it's not all about airplanes. I spend most of my time trying to lead an organization, trying to get people on this leadership team on the same page, even when they're butting heads, trying to reduce the tensions, help people come to agreements, and help us move forward as a team. And the stuff that we're talking about happens to be airplanes and maintenance equipment and logistics and cargo and all of that stuff. But like, it's all people. Everything is people. All of it is people. And I love working in this large, complicated, complex, uh, organization that has so many facets where we're sending people to Bulgaria and to Belgium and to Poland and to Saudi Arabia and to the States. And like, I, I love it and I love the chaos and all of that.
And so Moving from—
so like, what do you want to do out of the Air Force? I don't know. We'll see. There's still many years between that, you know, now and then. But I just want to be a part of— and I like, I want to create and be a part of a team that is solving complicated problems. And the subject matter itself is so much less important than working towards solving crazy problems with people that you care about.
Look at what Jocko Willink did, bro. The guy did all this military stuff, made some cool reels about like You know, everything got messed up. You know, like, have you ever seen the Good video where he's like, you know, something happened and the mission got— the mission got canceled? Good. You know, like, the guy— The guy's a business consultant now. And I know he makes money hand over fist, but you said you want to solve big problems. Okay, cool. Well, solve big problems, get paid big checks. Like, that's, that's a Bradley check. That's a Bradley quote. And we're going to podcast with him on Monday. But he's like, if you just solve big problems, you get paid big money. But it's really like what I like to say. What I like to say is like, you make big impact, you'll make big money the rest of your life.
Yeah.
And impact, like money, dollars just follow impact. So, and influence, right? And so the more influence you have in that, in that area, the more impact you'll be able to make. And God really wants to put really good people In front of other people because I don't think there's enough. I don't, I don't think there's enough people, bro, like living good lives. Like, and I, I could say that for sure in the door-to-door industry, there's not a lot of young, well, there's not a lot of examples of men who are married with kids who are not divorced and like who are actually present dads. And so I think that's one of my callings is to like, hey, you can really live a really fun sales career and you can be a good husband and father. Now, I'm not perfect in it at all. I mean, you know this already. Like, I've always felt like that's one of my life callings. Yet 2 years ago, my wife— I mean, to tie it back to physical stuff, my wife and I were like really in a bad spot because I was pissed at her. I was like, why are you never initiating sex? Like, what's wrong with you? And I'm like, well, now I know. I look back at pictures and I look like freaking oval. Like, I was huge. And I'm like, yeah, I wouldn't want to either. But like, my, my wife and I's marriage have— has grown tremendously because just over time it's been, it's been really cool.
Yeah.
But like, the more I talk about that story too— by the way, I share that story all the time with dudes and they're like, dude, I can relate with you. I'm like, yeah, you're the problem. Go fix you. Like, go take care of you and go pour into yourself. Stop being so damn needy and always wanting sex from your wife and go pour into you and go pour into her and watch what happens. And, um, dude, I— yeah, I don't know, man. I, I've learned a lot about like— like, I think, I think God wants us to become better people. He wants us to share our shortcomings more than anything too.
Mm-hmm.
Because if I share my shortcomings in my marriage— because I used to be a turd, bro. Like, even 2 years ago, like, I used to kind of be a turd still. And my tempers— I think over the years I've gotten better, but my temper— I used to be so freaking sharp all the time. Because I'm like, I'm always kill mode, kill mode, kill mode. But dude, no one wants to be around that. Like, no, like my wife didn't want to be around kill mode Austin. She wanted to be around loving, gentle husband Austin, not aggressive, like angry. And that's what I was, you know. So like my—
Right.
So to answer your question earlier, like Kaya's been really liking the shift in me. Because like I'm just a lot more soft and like I'm a lot more soft-hearted now. And that doesn't mean I still don't snap, bro. Like I, I'm like, uh, I'm an impulsive dude, which is great. So I still have to remember that's that Andy talks about, that nasty part of me that can be snappy. I've got to kill that and be less reactive. Um, but all I'm saying is this: it's cool that me and you are living godly lives. We have— we are husbands who are like with wives and kids, and we're doing our best. And I think what's cool about your credit card thing is people can see that you're a man in the military who has managed to make your family a priority. Bro, that is so freaking rare in the military. Me and you both live in— me and you both are in industries that are ridden with divorce and infidelity.
Oh, yeah.
It's like, dude, let's be the examples and let's show people that you can live a really good life in these, in these industries and still be amazing husbands and fathers and still be amazing believers and still be active in our— and I mean, I would— in our faith, right? Um, yeah, sounds like you are way better about being active in your calling. I can learn a lot more about that because I've just been freaking gone all the time.
Um, yeah, well, I mean, I mean, when I'm gone, I'm just gone for like months at a time, and then I come back and I'm just like, hey, you guys got to do without me for the next few months.
How much do you use— like, when I am in town, I can be way more present in my calling out here too, because I wasn't, you know. But, um, that's something I always— yeah.
So I, uh, I wanna— I wanted to share, since you— since you brought up, um, uh, your relationship with Kaya, and it— well, these last— these last few weeks, I've actually been thinking about the conversations that we had as we're driving up those windy roads up to, uh, up to that place, the— the hotel that we were staying at after our races. Um, these last few months, um, with, with my relationship with Marisha, like, there's just been so much going on. Um, things at work were, were quite insane with everything going on in the desert with Epic Fury and whatnot. I was the, like, the acting commander for the home station maintainers, the ones who didn't deploy. But out of the 800 and 850, uh, maintainers that we had for all of our aircraft, There were only like 300 still at Aviano. The rest were deployed, and, and the commander's deployed, everyone's deployed. And so there's just like this team, this like 300-person team, which is about the size of a whole squadron, like home station, who didn't have a leader. And so having to like try to correct that ship and trying to work through this, and then the disciplinary actions, like there was just a huge administrative workload. And it's just me and one other captain, and he is in charge of all of the operations, so like the actual aircraft flying and maintenance and stuff. And I'm in charge of just the rest of the organization, organizing care packages to send to everyone downrange, doing town halls with spouses who are upset that their husbands have been gone for almost an entire year, that they're missing another summer with their kids, and, and all of that. Like really, you know, hearts and minds and, and people leadership. Um, but I was working insane hours. I was just— I was gone all the time. And then the The load itself was emotionally and mentally taxing, having to work through, you know, kicking people out of the military and, uh, all of the sexual assault cases and the domestic violence cases and trying to take care of, of airmen and divorces and infidelity. And just like, it was a heavy load. Um, and I got really good mentorship from my commander. I'd call him while he's downrange and like we'd talk through some And it was, you know, I had a lot of support there. But then at home, like, Marisha's trying to do all of the stuff for moving. And normally we give people a month off to move because of how much work it takes, all the appointments you have to go to, the paperwork you got to do, the meetings, and it takes a lot. I got 3 days off. And those 3 days are the 3 mandatory days where you have to be home while the movers are there to pack up your stuff. But I didn't get any other time off. And so it was like I was at work all the time. Marisha's doing all of the moving preparation and paperwork and stuff for our cats, because owning pets apparently is like one of the worst decisions you could make in the military because it just complicates everything so freaking much. And like, it was just, it was just chaos and we had no time and it was, it was madness. I worked the day before we flew out. I was briefing the Chief of Staff of the Air Force on some decisions that had been made. And the pace of the mission at Aviano, um, to which his response was, wow, that's a lot. Like, yeah, no freaking kidding, it's a lot.
Thank you.
Uh, and the next day, dude, we found out our dudes were extended again in the desert, and I was like, I just— I was just so frustrated. Um, and that next day we flew back to the States, and then we were in the States, dude, and it's been great, but it's been like family just non-stop. Okay, we're with— we're at this family for 3 days, then we're gonna go down to We're gonna visit a friend, spend the night. We went and saw President and Sister William. Loved— I just love them to death, dude. It was so good. We swam in their pool with the girls and just had a good time catching up. But then we're back with family, and then we hop on a plane, we go to Utah, we're with family. We go to my family reunion, we go to my wife's family reunion, and then the last day of the reunion, dude and I fly straight to Texas. And it's just been like nonstop. And in that whole— in these last several months, and since, you know, having the baby, like, our, um, our, our sex life has moved to the back burner. Like, and, you know, we, we had, um, and we did this when Saoirse— after Saoirse was born, where we were like, okay, well, um, even though like libido levels are— and hormone levels are all over the place, uh, with Marisha, we'll go ahead and we'll schedule like one night a week and we will just We'll just kind of like focus our energy there. Um, so then I don't have to worry about like initiating and being rejected on other nights. And you don't have to worry about me initiating when you don't want to. And like, we'll just, you know, we'll set it aside. And, um, so we'll make it that one day. And so we had done that, but then it was, there was just, there was just more and more rejection and I was getting just more and more quiet and like, oh, it's fine. It's okay. Not a big deal. It's fine. But not realizing that like, jokes that we're making or comments that we're making about, like, I wish we didn't have to have sex for a couple of weeks because I'm so tired because of this, because of the baby, because of the air mattress, because all these things. And just not realizing that it's actually been weighing down on me. And then with the family reunion— oh my gosh, look, a quick story. And I know we're running out of time here.
All right, great. My buddy's not showing up for my workout. So he's probably sleeping in. So we're good.
Okay, dude, so we're, we're, we're with my— we're with my mom at her house, dude. And it's just like, it's, it's really small, really small house, lots of people in it, uh, and then we're in— we're at a family reunion with 33 people, like, in one house. I mean, it's just like bursting at the seams. But we have a room, it's just us and our kids. And I was like, okay, well, I'm gonna be gone for the next 2 months, so at least in this like week-long reunion, like, we'll probably have sex once or twice, and that would be great before I leave. And then, dude, like the 3rd day of the reunion, to find out that her sister's boyfriend is coming to the reunion, and their relationship has been pretty tenuous. I'm like, it's just like, we don't have the energy to like get to know this guy.
No!
I know, I know. And I'm like, I'm sorry, dude, but I've got like— I haven't seen some of these, some of Marisha's siblings in 5 and a half years. Like, I want to play games with them. I want to do— I don't really care to get to know you. I like— I'm sorry. And but he also like— but they were also gone a lot.
And he—
it's just, yeah, I felt pretty bad. But we're like, we're in the middle of moving from Europe to Japan. So like, I'm— we've got a limited time here and I'm about to leave my fam. Like, when we all pack up out of this Airbnb and leave, I'm getting dropped off at the airport so I can be gone for the next 2 months. Like, I just— I want to be with my family and extended family. Well, dude, freaking the set— like the second night or third night, I don't remember what, but, um, Well, and I knew because of the reunion. I'm like, dude, like, Marisha's already not getting enough sleep because Margaret's— she's been going through a sleep regression as we've been moving across the world. So like, Marisha's up feeding her every 2 hours, and so she's not getting enough sleep, and I don't blame her in the slightest. But I'm like, dude, whenever we're with family, especially her family, some of them are night owls, dude. And we're playing games until 1 o'clock in the morning and then going to bed. And then we're, we're at Bear Lake up in Utah, and so we're going to be getting up early to go to the lake. and there's gonna be zero energy for any sort of intimate activity whatsoever. Um, and the first 3 or 4 days of the reunion, I was like, nailed on the head, dude. I'm like, this is exactly how I thought this was gonna play out. And I'm not— I mean, I'm having fun, but also, in my head, I'm also like, oh, dude, this really sucks. And the day before we flew to Utah for the reunion, it was our anniversary. And we freaking forgot it was our anniversary, because we had just flown from California.
No way.
And we were about to— We remembered, like, we knew what was happening, but then the day of we forgot because we got up early, returned the rental car, fly out. We got the 3 girls, you know, there's just a lot going on. And we remembered when we got to my sister-in-law's house and the present Marisha had bought me was there in a bag. She's like, oh yeah, it's our anniversary. It's like 5 o'clock in the evening, 6 o'clock in the evening, you know? And we're like, oh, frick, we missed it. And I was like, I remember thinking like, well, It's at least it's our anniversary. So like, we'll have sex tonight. Great. Love it. Excited until we get to bed super duper late. Like it's, and we've been around people all day and I'm like, oh, at least we'll just have some alone time together. And we go to bed and my wife's like, I'm so sorry. Like, I know it's our anniversary, but I just like, I've got nothing left in the tank. Can we just go to bed? Like, yeah, it's fine. No big deal. Like, it's okay. But in my head, not realizing that like, there's something underlying this. They're like, there's something underneath all of this. I need to deal with it. Like, I need to figure out what my complicated emotions are, 'cause I'm not upset with my wife. I'm not upset with Marisha. But, like, there's— I'm not OK, and I don't know how to deal with that. So then I'm kinda trying to work through some of those thoughts and emotions while we're at the family reunion, and then freakin' the day the boyfriend comes to the house, Marisha comes up and she goes, uh, he's gonna sleep in our closet. And I was like, I'm sorry, what? Because we had the master bedroom, and it has a big closet, and there's a twin-size mattress in the closet. And this house is bursting at the seams because there are— because my wife has 10 siblings, and most of them have children. And so, like, the house is packed full. And I was like, he's sleeping in our closet? And she's like, yeah, he's gonna sleep in our closet for the rest of the reunion. It's like, not on either of the couches in the living room? We're not moving the mattress to the living room, or he's not sleeping downstairs in the basement where there's like 6 couches and a pullout bed and all the teenagers are just sleeping.
What?!
Like, what?! But it was like, when she told me, the sister, my sister-in-law, um, his girlfriend, she's right there. She's like, oh, is that OK? We can make a move if you want, but we're trying to find a place. And I was like... like, I know my wife already isn't going to want to have sex the rest of this week because everything going on. Like, it's— this isn't worth the fight. Like, it's, it's fine. It's fine. Again, another moment of me just saying like, oh, it's fine, when it's not fine. And so then we have a freaking dude sleeping in our— this 23-year-old kid like sleeping in our closet for the rest of the weekend. And I'm like— And I'm just like, I have to deal with these emotions. Like, I don't know what to do with these emotions. And I'm not mad at my wife. Like, this isn't This isn't me against her, but I don't know what it is. It's me against something. And so once I got out to— and then, uh, the last night, the last night at least, uh, one of the brothers had left a day early for the— from the reunion. Um, and so his room opened up, so this guy went and slept in that room. So at least we had the last night to ourselves. And— But Marisha had hurt herself wakeboarding, and so like she— like her neck was hurting and stuff. And so it was I was like, this is just— this is just like the worst. And it's not actually the worst, but it's because it's something that I had been like— that's been like churning in my soul. I'm like, I've got to figure this out. I come out here to Texas, and it was a couple days ago. I was like, I've got to figure this out, and I don't know what to do with these complicated emotions. So I went online to the sex therapy couple that I follow on Instagram, and I went and found one of their courses on the— it's— they call it The Art of Initiation. And I was like, I think I might, I might be doing something wrong. I think that, like, I might be approaching the subject from the wrong perspective. I shouldn't be upset with my wife. I should be more patient. I should be more understanding. But, like, I'm still upset, and, and I don't know what to do with it. And, dude, talking about coaching and, and mentorship, dude, paid $50 for this thing, and it's, it's just an online course. And I make it not even a third of the way. I think I make it like 2 modules in out of 32. And I was like, oh my gosh. And suddenly all of the complicated, confusing thoughts in my head start organizing themselves. And I'm a third of the way through and realizing like, oh, my wife and I both want initiation differently and we both do it differently. And now I'm seeing things more clearly. Um, I haven't had it, Marsha and I haven't had a chance to talk in days because the timing has just been really awful with family coming and visiting her and stuff. But, uh, I texted her last night and I was like, hey, can we talk today? Just sometime, just you and me, not with the chaos of the children and your parents and all the things, but like, I've, I've got a lot of thoughts on my mind and I just, I really want to talk. And so later today we're going to talk about it and I'm going to kind of walk her through all of the, um, I guess all of the moments where I was feeling like, uh, like small cuts that, that weren't intentional, and maybe things I was doing to kind of mask the, the feelings and the emotions around it. And, um, and we're like, we're just gonna have— we're gonna have an honest conversation about it. And, uh, like, I'm excited. I'm excited to get it off my chest. I'm excited for us to talk about it. And I just— I think, I think we are, we are trained to think that You know, sex and your relationship with your wife is supposed to just be natural and happen and just flawless and whatever. But anything that you want— like, we're talking about growth, progress, improvement— anything you want to improve requires dedicated, focused work. It's not just gonna happen. You don't just get better at having sex by doing it. I mean, there, there's a level to it, but like, if you really want to get better, you need to learn. You need to grow. You need to read books. You need to take courses, do things. Like, you need to talk to experts. You need to pick their brains on how— and it's not— and the biggest thing, dude, I realized is that it's not the sex itself. It's like one of the things I talked about is the— like, some people feel like they want— they need an emotional connection. They need to feel connected emotionally before they have sex. And other people think— view sex as the thing to make them feel the emotional connection. And, if you have 2 people who feel like feeling the opposite direction, I'm like, oh, I haven't been missing the sex. I've been missing the feeling of connection and the feeling of being wanted. And, that's been missing because our life has been so chaotic. And so, even when we have had sex, it's been feeling like it's—
Or—
Because she feels guilty or obligated or whatever. And when you know that that's how the other person feels, then it's still not going to fill the bucket. Like, even though you do the activity, the activity isn't what you wanted. And so, the activity isn't actually filling the bucket of what you need. What you need is that feeling of true intimacy and connection between you and your spouse. And when so much has been going on that we've been all over the place and we haven't had freaking 10 seconds to ourselves for months now. Like, it's just building and building and building. And then adding to that all of the small cuts along the way of, you know, jokes or comments that we— that both of us have made that I didn't realize were actually like compounding the issue in the process. So, um, I'll let you know how that goes. Uh, yeah, no, as we continue to move forward. But yeah, I just thought I'd share that since, uh, since you brought it up.
So relatable because like Like a lot of there's actually there's a guy that listened to every single one of our podcasts that that works with me one on one now, and he's like, "I know everything about your life," and I'm like, "What?" And he goes, "Yeah, I listened to your Rising Tribe podcast with Jared Matatusi, the guy in the Air Force," and I'm like, "What the heck?" Isn't it James Fraser, this guy up in Canada? But he's a married dude. He literally just got married, and you know he's just some. you know, he'll eventually have a family, I'm sure. And so this stuff is like so important to talk about, where it's like, this is actually the real stuff that pops up in marriage. And like, dude, my wife and I, like, my wife traditionally has had like no libido, like it sucks. And I'm like, oh, this is like rough, because I think it compounded with me being like 250 pounds almost, it only made it worse. Like, Well, I can look at pictures right now and die laughing. Like, holy crap. Like, I can't believe that that's what our life was. And I think we only look at it like that now because of, you know, where we're at now. And like, yeah. But like, in the moment, there was a lot of friction there. And it was really difficult for me. And, you know, yeah. Yeah, it was really hard. And so I think, you know, it's not like, oh, I got a 6-pack and now we're having sex all the time. It's like, no, dude, we have like Crazy lives. And this summer was nuts, dude. Like traveling. Like eventually, eventually you and Marisha are gonna have to like put like, you're gonna have to find a day window where it's like a, you know, like a day trip with you and Marisha to just get away. And then I don't know what the kid situation is gonna look like in Japan.
Yeah, we will, we'll sort that out when we get there.
Oh dude, like everything's figureoutable, right? But eventually, maybe, maybe in the next year you guys have a trip together where it's like a day trip or like a, you know, Something.
Well, dude, we were trying. We were planning on going to the Tony Robbins Unleash the Power Within in person, but then I had to deploy. So we had to cancel the trip. So like, we never got to take that.
You do a trip with your wife before you do a trip with me. But like, me and you need to do one of those events together.
Dude, I really want to. Yeah. And I'm hoping, I'm pretty sure with the new job that I have in Japan that I shouldn't be going like TDY or deploying from that position. So I think there will be a lot more opportunities to be able, or flexibility to be able to go. But yeah, I've been thinking about, especially as you've been talking about your events that you've been going to with Kaya. Like Marisha and I really, we really ought to do something.
Dude, you're awesome.
Thanks, man. I appreciate it. And, uh, dude, I love, I love getting to talk to you. I was telling Marissa last night, I was like, dude, I get to record with Austin in the morning. I'm so excited. He's doing big things, like big things. She's like, what? And I was like, it's hard to explain when you don't know who any of these people are, but like, I just saw that he is, he is running a sales event. And these are the people that are going to be speaking at it. Like, these are the people speaking at it and Austin's running it. And he's a part of these, he's a part of these groups and these, mastermind, and I'm like, I can't really put it into words that you're going to understand, but it's huge. And I'm so excited to hear what he has to say about the process, because it's more than a speech. Because you listen to guys— like, I just watched Sam Taggart actually talking about, before I did this, before I had these huge results, this is where I was. And before I had these huge results, this is where I was. And I was like, oh, cool. All of these, a lot of these are, while inspirational, they're one-sided. They're just me telling you my story, right? And that's part of speaking on a stage. You're not having a conversation with one person in the audience. You're speaking on stage. But our podcasts are a chance for us to just talk. It's just a one-on-one conversation. And like you were saying when you interviewed with Sam, that you're like, oh, he's just a regular dude. Yeah, and guess what? So is Austin, and so is Jared. We're regular people. And these conversations matter so much to be able to just talk, to not— like, we're not— I mean, I guess technically we're creating content is what we're doing, but like, we're not creating content. We're not focused on any of that. It's just us talking.
Yeah.
And I, I love getting to see the change in you, the change in your face, the change in your energy, uh, and the, the progress I mean, I loved— I love— I've loved all of our conversations that we've had so far, but like, it's just so fun, dude. It's so, so fun. And I'm so excited to get to— to get to be in, you know, in your inner circle, if you will, as you continue to grow and progress and change. Like, it's so fun, dude. I'm so grateful.
You know, the more we grow, the more we can help more people. And I think Yeah, it's exciting to see your journeys too, like in your growth, man. Like, you're one of the people that I love to be around. Like, I think, didn't we start this too? Like I told you, we joined the brotherhood because we didn't have friends that like really pushed me. I think we totally did this. I was like, dude, you're one of the very few people that I can talk to that like every single time I hop on a phone call with, I always feel inspired. Like, and that's no pressure on our conversations, But I just, I just love the way you look at the world. And, uh, yeah, so, so yeah, dude, feeling's mutual. And we are going to continue to change lives just through talking faith.
As we continue to level up our lives and hopefully the lives around us. That's the goal. Um, we've talked about faith, family, business, And sex. So I mean, that's all there is to life, really. So, yeah, but with that, dude, but, but honestly though, like, I, uh, like, I have— I was planning on talking to my older brother this weekend, um, about the, you know, these last few months and, and, and try to get his, his advice and his perspective on, on sex and, and my relationship with my wife. But my brother was the one who, who gave me the phone call just before Marisha and I got married About like, hey, you're about to have sex for the first time. Here are some things to think about. And I remember I'm on the phone with my brother and I'm just like, la la la la la. We don't talk about these things in my family. Blah blah blah. I'm not listening. You know, like because because we didn't we didn't grow up in a family that that could talk so openly.
Bro.
And yeah, go ahead.
Oh no. Yeah. Well, go finish your thought and I haven't really. Yeah.
But I was like, but I have talked to my brother before about these things, and he is a source of wisdom, and he is like— and I know he's open to talk about this, and I'd love some advice. So I'm gonna talk to him this weekend about it. And like, now I'm gonna call my wife. But like, before I've talked to my brother, before I've even talked to my wife, like, I feel comfortable sitting on the phone call with you being able to talk about this stuff because you've opened up and you've shared. Um, some of the struggles that you guys have faced and like, this is a place to do it. And I wouldn't, I like, I, I won't talk about this with too many of my other friends unless it gets like brought up in the first place because it's, they're, they're hard things to talk about, but this is a place where we can talk about it.
Yeah. It's an hour 40 deep into a podcast. So anybody willing to listen around this long is here for it. So, so this is, this is, um, this is interesting. So first pregnancy with Yeah, first break— the second pregnancy with Kaya. This is one thought. This is also just shows like how like weird, like weird taboo there's feelings around this stuff. It's like, dude, the more talk, the more I share this story, the more it's helped like a lot more men than I realized. So second pregnancy with Kaya, she like doesn't want to have sex. She's like totally like uncomfortable, dude. Holy crap. I saw videos of her the other day when she looked like she was pregnant. Awful, bro. Like, she looked like she's huge. Like, it's so hard on her body. And so that's not something she was wanting to do all the time. Well, that was still in the moment where I was like incredibly needy, incredibly insecure. Like, like, I, you know, I truly believe that you can't have a marriage without sex, right? But I felt like it was like I was like overly pushing it and in turn it was pushing her away. Okay.
Yeah.
So there was eventually, I had gone so long And I just like couldn't go without it. And I'm like, shoot, I'm like, I'm just gonna rub one out on my own, right? And so that's what it got to. Well, it turned in and I brought up to Kaya during pregnancy. I'm like, listen, I, I literally like, I'm like, I can't go like, you know, 2 or 3 weeks at a time without doing anything. And she's like, fine, just do it. So it was also a point of like, of like negligence, no pornography involved. But she was like, she just didn't care. She's like, do whatever you want, bro. And I was like, okay, cool, permission. But I never would talk to her about it when I would, when I would do that. And it was like, she's like, yeah, tell me when you're like, whatever. But it was like, never actually came up. Like, I never actually had full accountability there. So it turned into a vicious habit. And this is right in my last year at Anthem. Okay. So it ended up happening. I ended up happening. Like, we talked about it once and then I brought it up there again. I'm like, hey, well, like, I'm just letting you know, like, I'm doing this thing. I don't necessarily like, like stoked about it. I just felt like I should let you know. And at the time she was like, all right, whatever. Like, it just, there was like indifference. Okay.
Yeah.
And I almost was like, this doesn't feel right. 'Cause my whole life I grew up and if I ever like slipped up with anything like that, the bishop would be like, hey dude, you're not taking sacrament for 3 weeks. I'm like, damn. Like I grew up in a ward that was like, like that. And then I, then I had wards in college. Where if I slipped up with a chick, he's like, bro, take the sacrament next week, bro. Um, like, because we just need you taking it. It was so inconsistent there. So I did— I was so confused growing up with like, what's good, what's not? Like, how bad of a sin is this versus that? Whatever. So anyways, um, that habit continued through my— the first year of like Frankie's life. It continued through and it would come in like bouts. Right? Where I'd be like, oh yeah, guys want to have sex, cool, I'll just, you know, rub one out on my own, whatever. And it— I just didn't like it because I wasn't— there wasn't communication there, there wasn't open line, there was nothing there. And so there's— it was a Christmas party, like more than— it was, uh, was it a year? No, it was like a year. It was in December— in November, it'll be like a year, like December, November. And we're driving and I'm wearing a Grinch onesie in a self-driving Cybertruck that's like decked out with lights. Like, just, just like a weird picture here. She's in a big onesie and I'm in a Grinch onesie and I'm 250 pounds. Like, I'm not confident. I'm in a Grinch onesie and I'm like, I've been trying to bring this conversation up with Kaya many, many times. And I'm like, the only time I could think to bring it up with Kaya was when I was in the car, not looking at her in a Grinch onesie. And I'm like, well, Kaya, I've developed this bad habit from when, you know, you were pregnant. And it was, it was, we laugh at it now because what, here's what's interesting. I brought it up to Kaya. Mm-hmm. And the urge to act out completely vanished because there was no longer feelings of shame controlling me. I brought it up with Kaya. I'm like, hey, I'm doing this. I don't want to do it anymore. And she looked at me. She's like, okay, well, let's be done with it then. I was like, okay, great. And then since then, it has not been an issue because before, shame was killing me. And so I feel like there's a lot of feelings of shame around sex as well that you brought up. And it's like, dude, it doesn't, it doesn't help. And so like bringing things into the light always helps way more. Um, and me resolving that with my wife and praying to God, it like totally resolved everything. And I'm like, I'm not a loser. Like, and now we laugh about it. And like, that was my Grinch onesie moment where I had to open up to Kaya and be like, hey, this is what I'm— this is what's going on. And the communication there. So that's why I don't know what's going to happen with your conversation with Marisha. But all I know is that when communication is brought up and it's like vulnerable and it's like, hey, this is where I'm coming from, it, it typically ends in— if there's 2 mature adults, which you and Marisha are 2 mature adults, it typically leads to something good, right? And, um, the other W we had was that like for so long I would fight Kaya about sex because she was conditioned that I would— I would reach I would attack. I'd be like, damn it, why aren't you initiating all this stuff? Like, you're my wife, you're supposed to have sex with me. And so we had a conversation not too long ago, but this is probably 4 or 5 months ago, and I started bringing it up like in a very vulnerable way of like, hey, this is how I feel. I wasn't coming from an attacking motion, but Kaya was so conditioned that whenever sex came up, I was a total jerk about it. And so she started losing it, and I'm like, listen, I love you. We're on the same team. I'm just talking to you. I'm not even mad right now. And I started rubbing her feet. And I was like, listen, I don't want to have sex right now. I just want to talk about it. And it was one of the, like, dopest conversations because I didn't need sex at the end of the argument. What was perceived as an argument, which totally wasn't, it was like the, hey, you only listen to dudes. Okay, you're right type thing. But It was so interesting because it was the first, like, really healthy argument. Like, like, well, I wouldn't even call it an argument. It was the first, like, healthy wrestle that we had had with some of those feelings and emotions without it turning into me versus Kaya. It was like, hey, how are we going to fix this together? And I feel like that was a— I had to give my wife the space to be upset too, without me taking it personally, because for so long I had conditioned her. To— I had, I had conditioned her that, that was the— that was something where she needed to put her walls up because I was attacking. And so, dude, just so interesting how, how that all plays out. And dude, there's like— I'm an open book now. The more I've realized that I can just drop my ego and be more open with people about what I've experienced, it's like, dude, I've been able to help way more people. So, um, that's something interesting that as you were sharing that vulnerability with you and Marissa and all your traveling, it's like— Dude, like, I developed, you know, bad habits during that time, like, that weren't necessarily serving me. And I think in, you know, in military, like, there's, you know, we're going along a long ways. I had an instructor at BYU. This is actually very wild. And I had, you know, in a world where I never had heard of— I had never heard of anything sexual at all, like, in talking about church culture. I had a church instructor named Tammy Hill. who was like, when, when there are, when there are, you know, long bouts of time with deployment, she's like, I really hope that people are getting creative with their intimacy because they've got, you know, over the phone, whatever. Because I was like, dude, I can't believe she's saying that at BYU. But it's like, wait, wait, that makes total sense, dude. You're like away from your wife for 9 months. So I don't know where the conversation is gonna go with Marisha. But like, You know, I just think it's good to be open and vulnerable and, and then, and then make it about a we thing and not a me thing is what— yeah, like a team thing. So that's what I've experienced. And I did it in a Grinch onesie in a self-driving Cybertruck. And it was—
Yeah, I think I'll, I'll do that in regular clothes on the couch.
But if I can have that hard conversation in a Grinch onesie and feeling very like naked, In the bed and like, like, dude, that was just so awkward. I'm like, anybody can do the conversation. Oh yeah.
And I'm not, I'm not worried about the conversation. I'm, I'm excited to, well, I'm excited. Last night I spent a lot of time just writing out my thoughts and like feeling the surge of emotions. Cause it's been, it's been hard cause I've been, you know, in and out of classes and I'm like, I'm like listening, I'm listening to the, um, to the course that I'm taking and I'm gonna send it to me and then I'm like, Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, I'll write down, uh, write down some thoughts, but then I gotta go back to class. And so then I'm sitting in class, we're talking about airplanes again, and then I get back out and I'm like still thinking about it. And, um, so I, I've— and as I've, as I've either been listening to the course or I've been like writing things down, like I can feel this like swelling of emotions, but then I have to like stuff them back down so I can go back to class, you know? Like, like I haven't had, you know, a long, long period of time. So I was happy it was a Friday and we got out of class early that I was able to to just dedicate some time to just sitting and writing out my thoughts and processing. And, um, and, uh, I didn't like— I didn't want to call Marisha until I'd kind of sorted out what I wanted to talk about and like how I wanted to talk about it, because I still wasn't sure. Um, but I think like the conversation is going to go really well because it's not— I mean, I— it's not adversarial by any means. It's just this is like, hey, these last few months I have realized they've taken more of a toll on me than I thought. And I'd like to share just some of the, some of the things that we have done, not even you have done, things that we have done that I didn't realize were, were kind of building up this kind of this backup of, uh, of just, uh, or maybe that were, that were kind of, uh, masking some of the pain that I was having that I also didn't have words for. And now I have some words for them and This is what I think I want and need, and how can we get there? Because I know it's not a— I don't think my wife's not attracted to me or anything. It's like our life has been quite chaotic, and she had a baby. And the postpartum recovery from our second daughter was longer than it was with our first.
Yeah.
And it may be longer with each baby. You know, and we still plan on having more kids, and so, like, this is a problem that needs to be solved. Not that, like, my wife is a problem that needs to be solved, but, like, we've gotta figure out how to deal with the, you know, the months— every, you know, the 6 to 8 months after having a baby, 'cause we're gonna have more babies. We should probably be prepared for the next one.
How do you do that?
Be prepared by hiring it. Dude, we wanna have like 6 or 7, so.
Yeah.
Yeah. So we'll have another one when we're in Japan, but Marissa wants to wait, uh, probably another year or so before we start trying. So, which I totally get cuz the recovery's just a little bit slower.
I think Kaya told me the other day, if we're not pregnant, we had a, we had like a 5-week pregnancy. They call it chemical miscarriage where like the egg did not get developed much. Like we just had one of those. Yeah.
And, um, I'm sorry, dude. We had one, we had one before we got pregnant with Saoirse.
Dude, that, that actually was the first time it actually sucked because like, like for the first one I was like, oh cool, let's try again. And then this one actually stung a little bit more. I'm like, oh wait, why does that one hurt? Um, because I was like, well, it didn't like, it didn't last long, right? But dude, this is like, I think I was so excited, you know, it's like we got pregnant and it was like, oh yeah, no. And then I don't know, we'll find out soon if we are Pregnant with another, you know, another kid here. We'll find out in like a week, I would think. But like, we're trying again. But she was like, if we don't get pregnant in the next month, just for timing purposes, we're gonna wait another 6 months just with how my business works. Because they're like, there's like a phase where like if we get pregnant in this window, it's absolute hell. But with how things are going, like I might not be doing as many camps next year. I'm just gonna charge double for less amount of time. Because the demand's there. I had to work for free basically for a long time, and now I don't, which is sick. But like, I might be on the road less next year. All that to say, this is a W. Okay. Um, you know, like, like the first time I thought we're gonna have a son, I was watching Gladiator and like Spartan.
You wanted to name him what, Leonidas or Maximilian?
Or guess what? I got tired. For some way, once she, once she gave permission, she's cooked. But like, she literally said the other day, she said, you can give our son an additional middle name of Maximus. Game over. Done. I'm like, I'm in. Like, my foot's in the door. And if we have a son, it'll be— listen, I think the name is going to be Cougar Amendola Maximus Maser.
Okay.
So I am only going to call him Maximus. And so anyways, if we have a son, he will be named Maximus. Anyways, that is the—
Maximus Maser, dude, that is such a— that is such a great name.
I know, dude. And so like, if I got to sneak it in the middle name first and then only call him that his whole life, we're good. Yeah. Yeah, but the fact that she like allowed that, I'm like, okay, cool. We're making some really good headway here. Um, it hasn't happened yet, but we'll see what happens. But, um, but yeah, dude, no, I think, um, having kids, like, that's been a really hard thing for, for me, especially last year, like, when we had Frankie, to try to navigate because I had so many like weird feelings. And, you know, I think you know, the more kids you have, the better you get at navigating that. And so you're right, like, it's— you don't have to— I don't think it's something to be solved. I think it's something to be navigated almost. It's like, hey, how am I— what are my feelings and my emotions around this? What are my expectations? Um, because, you know, we happen to be in a phase right now where we're not— where we're trying to get pregnant. So obviously sex life is way better right now versus, you know, the, the pregnancy and then the 8 months afterwards are way different because of You know, Kaya's body confidence is like in the drain after, after a pregnancy because your body is just like, it just had a freaking baby in it and now the baby's gone.
Dude, yeah. And your hormones, it takes so long for hormone levels to, to level out or, um, for them to start having periods again if they have regular periods. And like, it's, dude, it just, it takes a toll. It really does.
Well, dude, this has been A jam. It's our longest episode.
Yeah, it is. But I'm excited. I've got way better internet here than I did in our concrete house in Italy. So I'll be able to have this episode up here pretty soon.
Dude, let's do it. Hey, well, I love you, bro.
I love you too, man. Thanks for having this conversation. Thanks for hopping on. We'll need to record again before I leave Texas. So I'll be here for about 6 weeks. So maybe beginning of September.
Yeah, we'll do it.
We'll link up.
Yeah, I love you, bro.
All right, dude, best of luck with everything. I'm so excited for you, brother.
Yeah, I love you, dude.
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