Matt Vaadi's new hire shows up to find an HR person who doesn't actually work there, a bucket instead of a chair, and a dress code that bans flip-flops only on Thursdays. A sketch about how startups botch onboarding.
Hey, I'm here for my first day. I am super excited to get started. Oh, hey. Wow, first day already? We totally knew you were coming. You knew I was coming? Uh, yeah, I was literally ordering your laptop on Amazon right now. Prime shipping, baby. Should be here 2 days, maybe 3. Unless a drone gets stuck in a tree again. Got a lot of drone stuff going on right now. Okay, what should I do while I wait for that? Oh, right. Yeah, paperwork. I got your new hire paperwork right here. Go ahead and take all this. This looks like a mortgage application. Can I do any of this online? Online? Yeah, you're adorable. Your sense of humor is going to fit in here perfectly. We're a little bit more of a paper-is-forever kind of joint. Is there at least a desk I can work at? Oh, absolutely. We've got a high-end ergonomic workstation waiting just for you right over there. We've got a door laying on top of two buckets. We call it startup chic. It's what Jeff Bezos did in the beginning at Amazon. I'm sorry, did you just say buckets? They're strong buckets. Okay, what about a chair? Oh, we did have a chair. Dave borrowed it for his fantasy football draft. So for now, you can just stand. Standing desks are in. Well, can you at least tell me about the dress code? I don't think what you're wearing is approved anywhere. Oh, we're super flexible on that. Business on top, party wherever you want. Except flip-flops on Thursdays. Todd ruined that for everyone. Do you even work here? No, I'm just really committed to crashing orientations. Good luck though. What the heck did I just sign up for?
