3 Compliments That Create Deep Attraction
31 Aug 2020 · 4 min
Matthew AI and Harry discuss how to give compliments that actually create attraction. They focus on praising someone's choices and character traits instead of generic appearance comments, which makes compliments stand out and land emotionally.
Look around the picture. Look what's going on in the edges. Look what's happening in the periphery. What book is on the table that they're reading that you could complement their choice of books? What are they doing in the picture? What skill set have they developed? Looking at these things will allow you to complement things that they don't often get complimented on, and thus you'll stand out more.
Well, hello there. Don't you look handsome, radiant, vivacious, bright, energetic, and full of health and vitality today. What am I doing? Well, I'm going a little overboard. I'm giving you a lovely compliment because that's what we're talking about on today's podcast. Matthew did a recent video about compliments. And this is a subject that is very close to my heart because I have a true belief that compliments are these kind of superpowers that fly under the radar and are completely underrated for how powerful they can be. Because you know what people do? Most people do compliments in a very generic way. Boring way. Well, first of all, most people don't do them enough. Have you noticed that everyone loves being complimented? Everyone loves being noticed. You know, I remember the director Kevin Smith once said that people have three needs. Food, sex, and the need to be heard. And needing to be complimented is a form of being heard. It's a form of being noticed. It's a form of someone paying attention to the best qualities you have. And most of us feel like we don't get praised in the ways that we would like. So it's especially special when someone takes that moment and recognizes something unique about us, and that's what we're going to dive into. Matt's going to talk about the difference between just a generic compliment and something that actually gets into people's heart and soul. And the thing you really remember, because I don't know about you, but people have said things to me before. Some people have said things that have washed right over me. And some compliments I've literally never forgotten a decade later. And it's. It's usually because someone went a level deeper, like they actually paid attention to something maybe you didn't notice or something you wanted people to notice. And it's very, very special. And you can do it in a text. You can do it in a little message. After you see someone, you. You can write them an email. You can tell them to their face. You can do it in many, many ways. You can do it in a card, birthday cards as well. Great place to give people very genuine compliments and you can be a bit more vulnerable than usual. Say things you wouldn't usually say. Use these opportunities because they are these little golden opportunities for connection and we're missing out if we don't take them. So, yes, never underestimate how much people really remember what you say. And I'm going to pass over to Matthew. The free guide he mentions at the end is say this to him Dot com. That's where you can go and get just a little guide we put together to give you some memorable compliments you could say to someone specifically in the realm of attraction. So if you actually, you know, want to get a guy attracted to you, what is something you can say early on? What's the kind of compliments to get someone to. To get a little spark? You can do it on dating apps as well. That's one place people don't. People give very generic, boring compliments and you can set yourself apart. So without further ado, over to my brother Matthew. I'll see you soon.
All right, everybody, let's talk about compliments, shall we? Harry?
Yes.
You haven't complimented me once today.
Your hair looks very brown today.
Even Jameson's more complimentary than that. And he says nothing but insults for the first 30 minutes of a video. What are the compliments that create attraction with someone? And not just that, create attraction, but make us stand out in the process. How do we break through the noise? Well, I'm going to give you three principles for compliments today. We did a compliment video a while back. I can't remember how far back. Jameson, maybe you can run a little bit, you know, adorable image of a younger me giving advice on compliments. When we show that there's something we like in someone else, they're more likely to like us. Let's see if I've evolved since the last time we did this number one compliment. The thing that people don't hear every day, I think you know, when you see someone's dating app, the temptation is to go for the low hanging fruit. Look for that one picture of them that's photoshopped and airbrushed where they're looking stunning in that really cool outfit and their eyes are glistening like two beautiful orbs in the light. And then we say, you're gorgeous. Wow, you have amazing eyes. That doesn't separate us. It might make someone feel good, but it's white noise if that's what they hear all the time. Look around the picture. Look what's going on in the edges. Look what's happening in the Periphery, what book is on the table that they're reading that you could complement their choice of books? What are they doing in the picture? What skill set have they developed? Looking at these things will allow you to complement things that they don't often get complimented on, and thus you'll stand out more. The second principle of compliments, this one, I suppose, is great for when you meet people in person and you don't have a couple of minutes to think about what you want to say about someone's profile, look for the indirect compliment. It can feel a little much to walk up to someone and say, you're beautiful, right? It's a lot. I'm not. Some people would like that. Some of you in the comments will say, I would love if someone came up to me and said that. In which case, I very much hope someone says that to you this week. But a lot of people feel like, oh, it's a lot of pressure when someone says that to me. Or it's a lot of pressure to say that to someone, especially if it doesn't go well. This is where the indirect compliment comes in. Compliment someone on a choice they've made. Their shirt, their jacket, their shoes. You have great taste in shoes. I love those. That's a really cool bag, that. What you just ordered. Sounds delicious. What a great order you just placed. When we don't compliment something that's genetic, something they were born with, and instead we compliment something slightly more external, it's a little easier. And by the way, it could even be a bit more meaningful because they made that choice. That's their taste. They decided on that. And lastly, when you get to know someone a little better, focus on complimenting their traits, not just the outcomes they've reached in life. An outcome would be, you know, if someone created a great business and you said, you know, what an amazing thing it is that you've created this amazing business, or that you've achieved all of this, that's like complimenting the medal that someone won. I think it's far more profound to compliment the traits that won them. Life's medal. You know, they built this business, and you say, wow, it must have taken so much perseverance and ambition and drive to get to this point. That's an amazing thing. Instead of complimenting someone on being great at a language or an instrument, you compliment the passion and the patience that it must have taken to get to that point of skill. When we compliment someone's outcomes, they feel admired. When we compliment the traits that got them those outcomes, they feel seen and feeling seen. The key to deep connection and attraction. If you want more compliments, you can go to the free guide saythistohim.com we'll link it up here where I give you five more compliments you can use to create attraction. And other than that, Harry. Yes, we'll see everyone next week. I'll see Harry in exactly five seconds when the video is over.
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