3 Text Messages to Make Them Try Harder in Early Dating | Rewind

People think that if you have standards, you're going to scare people off. It's the opposite. Having standards is confidence. Knowing how to communicate them is competence. Welcome to the Love Life Podcast. It's me, Matthew Hussey. Enjoy this clip from the archives. And if you wanna let me know what you think or how this podcast is helping you, don't forget to leave me a review on iTunes under the Love Life Podcast. Enjoy. I'm gonna give you three specific text messages that get the guy you want to pursue You. I've been helping women attract the men they want for nearly 10 years now. And there is a question that has always come up, but it's getting worse. Women saying, why don't men try anymore? They don't take me on real dates. They don't seem to actually court me. They don't go through the stages of attraction where they really invest. It's like they want a fast food dating diet. They want to just text me and for me to come over. We want men to try again. Well, I have a fundamental belief that the women today who get the best men, and not just the best men, but the best behavior from those men, have two things on their side. One, they have standards that are higher than everybody else. People think that if you have standards, you're gonna scare people off. It's the opposite. Standards make you attractive. But they don't just have standards. They have the ability to communicate those standards to a man in an attractive way. that's the real skill. Having standards is confidence. Knowing how to communicate them is competence. The food industry has a term, a term called the bliss point. The bliss point is the optimal level of salty and sweet in a food that keeps you wanting more of it. And they're trying to achieve this all the time. So think Nutella, think peanut butter, kettle corn. What's the bliss point? That means even though you're getting full, you're not satiated. you keep wanting more of that food. Well, I believe that there is a bliss point to communication, an optimal level of salty and sweet that keeps you wanting more of a person. So if you achieve the bliss point in your communication with men, a man can become addicted to you. He won't be able to put you down. I'm about to give you three scenarios that I know you've found yourself in before and the bliss point response to each one. The first scenario is the date deliberator text. This is the guy who's indecisive about what you guys are gonna do on a date tonight. So he says something like, so what are we doing tonight? To which your internal response is, you decide, man. It's your job to figure out a plan. Just frickin' pick something. But you don't wanna come across aggressive in this moment because he hasn't done anything really wrong. So instead, here's the bliss point response. As much as I love planning, I think it would be more fun if you decide winky face. You see what you're doing there? You're simultaneously saying I don't expect you to plan things forever but right now at this early stage it would be fun if you took the initiative. Scenario 2 the homebody text. He sends there's a cool bar in my part of town for tonight. Now you know that the last time you went on a date you came to his part of town. So somewhere inside you feel like he should be the one making the effort to come to you or at least meet halfway. Now once again, he hasn't done anything drastically wrong, but you'd like to use this moment to educate him on trying a little harder. So instead of bottling up your feelings and going to his part of town anyway, or getting overly serious about communicating this to him, you put together this bliss point message. Geez, are you always this lazy? It's your turn to come to me. Kissy face. What this shows is that you can call someone out directly for their behavior, but you can do it in a playful and affectionate way. Which brings us to scenario number three: the day of disappearance. This is when you have plans with a guy to see him for a date, but on the day of the date, it's getting past the point where it's acceptable for him to have not given you the details yet. So maybe it's 1 o'clock in the afternoon, you said you'd see each other tonight and he still hasn't sent you anything. And maybe it's not because he's a bad guy, maybe it's because he's been super busy, or maybe he's out right now, but it's still not really okay. So you can either be passive and just wait until he texts you, or you can construct this Bliss Point message. Hey you, should I assume we're not on for tonight? I haven't heard from you and I have other things I'd like to do if not. Once again, the beauty of this is that it addresses him in a kind way at the same time as being really high standards with your time. You're showing him that if he doesn't up his communication, you're gonna find something else to do. Now, why do people hesitate before sending these messages? Because we are afraid that if we have a standard with someone, they will not see us. That we might lose out on that opportunity to spend time with them tonight. so let me be brutally honest with you. These messages won't increase your chances of seeing the guy you want tonight, but they will radically increase your chances of him wanting you tomorrow. See, Bliss Point communication isn't about short term gains. It's about long term attraction. And if you are about creating genuine deep attraction that makes a guy want you not tonight, but tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, that's about having the right standard and knowing how to communicate it. The beauty of what we've been talking about today is this. Communicating your standards and creating attraction are actually the same thing. If you haven't already grab yourself a copy of the Momentum Texts program. In this program, I give you very practical things that you can do to move an early dating situation forward. forward. Avoid messages that don't go anywhere, avoid dates that never result in follow-up or situationships that never result in a commitment. This is the most practical early dating program you will find and it's super reasonable to get your hands on at $7. Go check it out at momentumtexts.com.