1 Feb 2016 · 6 min
Matthew Hussey suggests four first-date ideas that build connection: comedy shows for laughter and touch, walks for natural conversation, park picnics for relaxed intimacy, and mini-golf or arcades for playful competition. Each creates shared moments that reduce awkwardness and give you things to reference later.
I'm Matthew Hussey. Welcome to Love Life, which is now by popular demand a podcast on iTunes. I couldn't be more excited to deliver.
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Women who want to live their best lives. Whether that means an amazing relationship, a satisfying social life, the career of their dreams, or all of these things and more.
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Let's start the show.
Today we're talking about great first date ideas and I have seven that I want to give you. So have your pens ready. The first one, a comedy show. Now, here's what I like about a comedy show. It's kind of the same as the movies, but it doesn't have any of the disadvantages of the movies. In other words, what's great about going to see a movie with someone, you get to sit side by side. That's great because it allows for touch in a non-awkward way. You're not facing each other the whole time, which is beautiful, because when you're facing each other the whole time, stuff it seems to get very awkward because you don't get to look away. If you're suddenly in an awkward silence, it becomes super awkward because you're looking at each other the whole time. Whereas if you're sat side by side, you don't have any of that awkwardness. So the movie theater is great for body language but bad for connection. Why? Because you're watching the movie the whole time. Comedy show is different because you have all the benefits of the body language of the movie theater, but you're watching something that you're interacting with at the same time. You're able to talk to each other a little bit. You're laughing at the jokes together. You're sharing the jokes. together. You get to poke fun of each other during the show. And of course afterwards, the great thing is a lot of comedy venues have a bar at the back. You can finish the show, go grab a drink at the bar and stand there and talk about it. Of course it also gives you lots of follow-up jokes for after the date because you've got all these shared moments on the date. You can reference those things when you're trying to actually create attraction later on. So comedy show is a great one. Second great one, this is going to sound really weird to begin with.
Walking.
Just go on a walking date somewhere. In other words, start at one location and when you're like, oh, what should we do? Just say, let's just walk and we'll grab a drink along the way somewhere. The nice thing about this is when you're walking, there's a dynamic nature to it. In other words, you're standing there. The body language is great. Remember, you're side by side, you're not staring at each other, but you're walking and as you're going through the environment, you're seeing whether you're in nature and you're seeing trees and grass and whatever. That's great. It's a distraction or you're seeing buildings, shops, places to go. That's great. That's another distraction. What it does is it takes the focus off of the two of you and allows you, if you imagine some of the most comfortable conversations you have is when you're just walking with someone. Not when you're sitting down static, just looking at each other. It's when you're walking. So, the third one, sitting. Now, let me qualify this. Let's say you went to a park. Here's why I love this. you kind of get to have everything in this date. If you go and just sit down on the blanket in the park and you chat, you get to talk, you can still be side by side, not facing each other, but you get to talk, you can bring some food, you can look around, you can people watch. In other words, there are things going on around you that you can comment on. It takes that focus away from just the two of you. And also, I like the fact that if you're sitting somewhere in a park, somewhere casual like that, It's the one place where you can get away with almost as much intimacy as the bedroom without feeling like you took someone home to your bedroom. Because you could be in the park and after a couple of hours of talking, you can just lie down. You lie down, you look up at the clouds and you're lying together. It's like you have this outdoor bed, which is socially acceptable because it's not like you're gonna start to get real frisky in public, but you're laying next to each other and having all of that intimacy in a socially acceptable way. I love that about this day. So that's number three. Number four, go do something where you get to challenge each other. Now, I'm gonna give you a couple of examples. Mini golf is one of them. The arcade is another one of them. Now, of course, you don't have to go to an out and out arcade, which is just an arcade. You could go to a pub where you know there's some arcade machines there, like skee-ball or pool or whatever. The nice thing about that is you have a drink and instead of taking your drink back to your table, you go, all right, let's. I'm gonna kick your ass at Skee-Ball. Let's go. You take him over, you start playing, you both get to make fun of each other. Whoever's winning gets to do the gloating and make fun. And then at the end of that, of course, whoever's losing is going to be like, all right, you beat me at this. I'm gonna beat you at Paul. Then you take it over there. It gives this again. There's a dynamism to that date that means there's always something going on that's distracting you, so you get to converse in between and have conversations, but. It's surrounded by these moments of challenge and fun and distraction that allow for a very casual and easygoing date where true connection is built. It's an experience as well as a date. So those are the four that I have time to give you right here. I want you to go and get the other three while you're at it and while it's on your mind. They're on my website. It's howtogeettheguy.com/blog. I have an article waiting for you there to give you all of these. in one place. So I can't wait to see you there, my friends. Thank you for listening.
This is love life with Matthew Hussey.
I will see you in the next episode.
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