In this Love Life podcast episode, Matthew Hussey opens by acknowledging listeners' frustration with attracting the wrong partners and promises a quick method to attract quality men. He then outlines five distinct warning signs of a toxic partner: (1) using hurtful remarks in arguments to protect themselves, likened to a scorpion’s sting; (2) treating any constructive criticism as an attack, causing the listener to walk on eggshells; (3) making the listener the sole source of problems and never admitting fault; (4) showing the most affection only when the listener is hurt, using the listener’s vulnerability for validation; and (5) feeling threatened by the listener’s success and actively belittling achievements. Hussey explains that these behaviors stem from the toxic partner’s fear of losing significance. He emphasizes that arguments are normal and healthy when both parties aim to solve problems together, quoting Mark Twain on greatness. The episode concludes with a promotional plug for Hussey’s “3 Mindsets that Drive Men Wild” training video, directing listeners to a website for free access, and invites them to follow his social media for more content.
Matthew Hussie here with Love Life. Do you ever feel like you keep attracting the wrong kinds of men? I can understand how frustrated and hopeless this must make you feel at times. All you want is a good guy who appreciates you and treats you well.
Someone who's a partner in all of.
Life'S ups and downs.
But instead you end up with jerks or you're not alone. So many women can relate.
I want you to smile right now because today I'm gonna give you a.
Simple way to get rid of the.
Jerks and only attract quality men into your life. Before I give that to you, let's get into today's episode.
I have a very interesting episode for you today. So many of you are gonna wanna listen up because these are the signs that you are dating a toxic person. Here we go. By the way, there are five of them, so get ready for this. Number one, they say things that they know will hurt you in an argument to protect themselves instead of trying to solve the problem at hand. So if you're with someone who tries to inflict damage instead of solving the argument, then that person is toxic and you have to be very careful. I think of them like a scorpion. In order to protect itself, the scorpion just stings you when you get close. It doesn't try and figure it doesn't get amicable and try and figure it out. It just stings you. And that's what this type of person does. You get close, you try and discuss something, they just sting you. They look to do damage instead of trying to resolve the issue. That's why these people will often say very hurtful things that stick with you a long time and you find difficult to get over. You'll find that their default will be game playing and out maneuvering you instead of being authentic and just admitting vulnerability. Number two, they treat everything like an attack. When you try and get constructive in your criticism of them, when you try and express to them a behavior that maybe you'd like them to change or something that upset you, and you do it in a completely civil and rational manner, you'll be met with an irrational degree of emotion and aggression. So what will happen is you'll find that you get afraid of bringing something up with them. If you find that you're treading on eggshells when you bring up a problem or you're trying to choose your words so carefully with them, then it usually means that their reactions are not positive, that they don't make it easy to discuss things. Number three, they make you the root of all evil. In other words, they try and manipulate you into thinking that any issues that you have come from you. A key thing is when you see them never admitting fault. If you see that, that's a great sign that it's not all about you. It's also about them, but they're making it all about you, which is a very nasty and manipulative thing that these people do. Number four, they show you the most love when you're hurt. They get validation and significance from seeing how much they can hurt you. In other words, if I shout at you or if I call you something and you're really upset because I said that and it really hurt you and you're on your knees crying. I then say, Ah, look how much power I have. And if I have this much power, it means you must really love me. And if you really love me, now I feel safe. So now they give you love because they feel safe in this moment when you're broken. But when you're together and when everything's okay, they don't feel safe. They feel threatened because maybe you'll leave. So you'll find that a common behavior pattern of this person is they'll grind you down and hurt you. And then when you're at your most hurt, you'll get the most love from them. Number five, they're uncomfortable with your success. You'll find that they seek to belittle your life, your achievements, your problems. They'll always try and make sure that you don't feel too good about whatever it is you're achieving. So if you come home and you say, I got this promotion, it's so great, they'll go, well, that's going to be a lot more work. And they'll immediately bring you down. They'll find a way to numb you or to take away the pleasure of things that you're really excited about. See, what you've got to understand is this person that I'm talking talking about is terrified. They're terrified of not being significant to you. They're terrified that you're gonna hurt them at some point. They're terrified that they're gonna lose you. So instead, rather than say, God, you, you did something great. You, you achieved something amazing. I'm on your side. They see it as a threat, and they immediately try and take it away from you and bring you down. There are a couple of ways they do this. They might get angry at you and make you feel guilty for making something else important that's not them, or they might just go numb to you completely and you feel them. get distant. Maybe they even go and spend time with their friends and other people instead of you because they don't want to be around you when you're in that positive state. Here's the thing. Arguments are okay in relationships. Don't ever listen to somebody who says you shouldn't argue. Of course arguments are fine, but you want someone who ultimately, at the end of the day, looks to solve problems with you and looks to help you overcome your insecurities and your flaws in the same way that you want to help them do that. That's what having a solid partner is all about. Mark Twain said that the great make you feel that you too can become great. Thank you for listening guys. This has been Love Life. I am Matthew Hussey and if you want to continue to follow us, go to facebook.com/CoachMatthewHussey and you'll see all of the wonderful things that we create there. I'll speak to you soon.
Okay, so we started off today talking about how you want to finally stop attracting the wrong men. I told you I have something for you that will show you how to make a quick shift that will bring the right kind of men into your life. Well I've created a powerful training video for you called the 3 Mindsets that Drive Men Wild and it guides you through the simple steps that you can take to attract the kind of men you truly want. To get your free access to three mindsets that drive men wild, just go to lovelifepodcast.com/mindsets.
