5 Valentine's Day Mistakes You Need to AVOID This Year | Rewind

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Someone on a day where it's culturally expected of you, that's not romantic. That's fulfilling an obligation. But showing you understand your partner uniquely, that's romantic. Hey everyone, this episode is a rewind.

Episode one from the archives. I think you're going to enjoy it. Let me know what you think. Send me an email afterwards. Podcastthewhussey.com and now onto the episode.

Okay, so what are the five mistakes that people make around Valentine's Day? The first one is this is for single people comparison. Comparing yourself with someone you know who's already in a relationship. Let's do a little reality check on this before we go any further. Firstly, half the people you know in relationships aren't nearly as happy in those relationships as they portray on the outside. You wouldn't trade for them if you really knew what it was like. A lot of them aren't going to be in those relationships by this time next year. So in a way, if you're out there and open to meeting the right person right now and they're stuck with the wrong person, so they can't, you're actually further ahead than those people. Second mistake for singles thinking you can't do something romantic because you don't have anyone right now. I put A post on Instagram recently that really resonated with people. It said, the most loving thing you can do for your future partner is to work on yourself until you meet them. I believe that the things we do right now to work on ourselves, to grow ourselves, build our skill sets, to become more confident, are an act of romance for our future relationship. And so when we look at Valentine's this year, this may sound a little strange, but what if you said, I can do something romantic for the love of my life this Valentine's, even if I haven't met them yet? And that romantic thing is going to be what I do for myself so that when that relationship comes, I feel stronger, I feel more passionate, I feel more fulfilled. I feel like I have a bigger, more interesting life I am going to give to me as an act of love and romance for my future partner. Mistake number three, and this is for those of you in relationships buying flowers on Valentine's Day. You can get your partner flowers pretty much any other day of the year. And it will be a romantic gesture because it's unexpected. But on the one day of the year where they're absolutely expected, they score you no points. And by the way, you may be thinking, I'm not going to buy my guy flowers. He wouldn't want them anyway. It's a metaphor for anything that's generic, anything that's expected on a holiday. We have to go outside of that and say, what gift is going to show some kind of special significance? And usually the ones that show special significance are the ones where we show we have a unique understanding and appreciation of who our partner is. And all you have to do to get there is to ask yourself specific questions like, what's my partner geeky about? What movies do they love? What books do they love? What's a memory we've had together recently? What's some quirk about my partner that not everyone else knows about? What's something they're into learning right now or in the future? When we ask ourselves these questions about our partner, we start to stumble upon ideas for gifts that actually connect to who they are and what we know about them. Buying a gift for someone on a day where it's culturally expected of you, that's not romantic. That's fulfilling an obligation. But showing you understand your partner uniquely, that's romantic. Mistake number four, all money, no message. This is the mistake of spending money to get something nice for somebody, but not delivering the emotional impact of a handwritten message with it. Yes, I said handwritten because in this Day and age, handwriting comes at a premium, especially in romance. But if you're not detailing the thought behind the gift, why you did it, why this moment in your relationship is unique or exciting or magical, you're missing such a valuable opportunity because you can spend all the money in the world. But those words, that's what really makes the difference. Sometimes spending money can be a symbol of investment in a relationship. But message creates meaning. And it's meaning that creates true magic in a gift. Mistake number five, relying on a day like Valentine's Day to show that you give a shit about somebody. The quality of our relationships is not what we do on a special day. It's what we do every day. So every day of the year, we should be paying attention. Every day of the year, we should be looking at what our partner needs from us. Every day of the year we should be figuring out, how do I add value to this person's life? If you really want to give someone a special Valentine's Day gift, make a commitment on Valentine's Day. Make a commitment to a ritual going forward until next Valentine's Day that you're going to do every day. Whether it's a date night once a week from now till next Valentine's Day. Whether it's the promise of every day, not even to them. The promise to yourself of waking up every day and saying, what can I do to add value to this person today? If you make a commitment like that, that is the greatest gift you can give your relationship. Forget the bullshit of what you do in one day and start worrying about what you do every day.

Foreign.

Thanks for listening everybody.

Before you go, if you haven't already watched my masterclass, my free masterclass, Dating with results. Go check it out. It is a one hour free training. My most popular free training of all time. Over a million people have now been through this. That's literally over a million people have now been through this. And if you haven't seen it, it is packed with advice on on how you can start making real progress in your love life this year. Go over to datingwithresults.com to watch that right now. As I said, it's completely free. You can be watching in the next 30 seconds and you're missing out if you don't see it. So go to Dating with results dot com. I'll see you in the next episode. Be well and love life.

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