Afraid You'll Never Find Love? You NEED to Hear THIS | Matt Monday

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Before we start today, I owe you a giant thank you. To everybody who got a copy of Love Life, you are responsible for getting us to the New youy Times Best Seller list. This week we came in at number three on the list, which is an extraordinary feat. And I am so grateful to all of you who have supported, many of you ordered months in advance of the book actually coming out. So many of you ordered on the week of. I am so appreciative. This project has been four and a half years of my life. We wanted to get to the New York Times because we wanted to raise the profile of this book. We wanted to get it out there to more people. You have helped us do that. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping us make this happen. This is such a crazy week for me and my team. We have been giddy all week knowing this, having this news. And I'm so excited for those of you that are hearing it for the first time. I'm so excited to be sharing it with you. Thank you. This is our win together and you have helped me reach more of the world with this book. There is a story in the book about a person named Angela, a dear friend of mine. So many of you have read the book and have already read Angela's story, but you may not have had the chance to actually meet Angela through video. So I wanted to do something special today. In this video, I'm about to show you Angela was on stage at my live retreat in Florida, making the audience laugh and cry in equal measure, myself included, but is a true story of hope for people in their confidence, their ability to overcome difficult circumstances, and their ability to find love no matter what. I cannot wait for you to see this. I present to you my dear Friend Angela.

There was this one person on this program that called me up a couple of months back because she had had some things happen in her life since that program. And when she made that call, I heard it and I went, you gotta come back. You've got to come back and I need you to tell other people what you've done because wow. And so she came back this time and I'm going to bring her up here and we're just going to spend five minutes just talking about what she has done since because her story is a very, very interesting one and so relevant to all of us. So, Angie, where are you? Oh, there she is. Okay. Give it up for Angela, everybody. How you doing?

Now that's 10 years or eight years now.

Wow, was it that long ago?

Yeah.

And I haven't aged a bit.

You haven't.

So you came on that program and I remember maybe a good place to start is I know there was a big event in your life. Let's fill people in on that because I feel like that gives us context for everything that we'll say after that.

So as you can see, or you might not be able to see, I wear a prosthetic. And my story is quickly that I was 23 and I was making my way home from work and life was great. I was with friends, I had a job I loved and In a moment, everything changed. I sadly was hit by a drunk and drug driver, and when he hit me in a van at 70 miles per hour, I was injured for life. And the injuries I have now happened at that moment. And the hardest thing was when my leg was taken from the impact of the vehicle, the driver stood over me and he walked away. And this is what led me to Matthew, because being in hospital and getting told, you,'re injured, you're not going to walk again, you're not going to live independently again, we don't know if you're going to be able to have eat yourself or dress yourself. I defied that. I made sure when I left the hospital that I would walk again. I walked in crutches, but that was good enough. But my self-worth was on the ground and there was nothing around me and there was nothing there that showed me how to put that together. So I went onto YouTube. And it was one of Matthew's earlier videos. I mean that in a nice way, of course. And he was in a park. What park was it in London?

It was in Berkeley Square. Yeah, and... I remember the video. I was sat on a, nowadays we have Jameson and everything. I was sat on a bench just filming myself. And I do this, it wasn't on an iPhone, it was on like an old Sony cam.

Yeah.

And it was about core confidence. And I knew what I read for confidence was, you know, you read in the magazines or your friends tell you, be more confident. But I knew my confidence was on the ground more than most, because the thought that was left with me was like, how am I worthy if somebody could walk away and leave me? So I clicked on the video, I watched it, I wrote every word down, what confidence is, what the levels are. Like, I've done the same as you guys, and I still do the same thing. I watch the videos, I learn everything from it. And one of the biggest things that ladies have taught me is we share the same thing. You just we just get it, what you're saying, you know? So when I went on his website, you were doing an event down in London and it was about confidence, wasn't it? And then I went to speak to Matthew and again he was bouncing from one side to the other and it was like, this is amazing. And the ladies who I met there are the ladies who went to the retreat in Florida and we're still friends to this day and we're not friends because of what Matthew's connected us to because the journey that we've experienced and we're still experiencing and I'm still tapping into Matthew's work today because I still want to go to that next level in that next level.

So then when you, so that kind of brings us to the retreat because I remember a very specific moment on the retreat that you reminded me of. This home in Florida, there was like a mini like kind of movie room And Angela pulled me to one side and said, hey, you know, let's have a chat. We went into the movie room, we sat down one-on-one and she, and you can tell me if I'm paraphrasing correctly, but you had mentioned to me that when you were on a date.

The.

Monologue that was constantly going through your mind is, He's not gonna want me because I'm missing a limb.

Yeah, pretty much, yeah.

What happened next?

Before he got to that point.

We.

Sat in silence and he said, I'm going to sit here until you tell me what it is. And I sat there and then I crossed my arms in defiance. I was like, I'm not saying. And I couldn't say because I felt.

So.

Sad about that. I couldn't say because it's a guy sitting in front of me, like, can I say this? The one thing that's on my mind? And he just sat defiantly and he's like, we're going to sit here all day. It was like that pine. Scottish stubbornness was coming out quite badly. And in my head I was thinking, he has to see other ladies. So the more you sit there, you're stopping him going to talk to the other ladies and allow them to have their moment and to talk about things. But I just couldn't see it. And then he said, There's nothing I haven't heard before, just that you've said this week. And I said that, I think I blurted it out. And he just said, In what? Just those simple words, like, in what? In all the things that I've been carrying with myself, like, I was like, oh, you've been carrying this? You've built it up to this big picture. I remember it was like, in what?

I remember saying to you, I remember looking at you and saying, How arrogant are you? Do you remember that?

Yeah.

I was still laughing, like, yeah. You were so never thought about that way.

And she, I said, How arrogant are you? And she went like this. And then after like 30 seconds just died laughing. Do you remember, like, just in fits of laughter?

Yeah.

And I remember specifically Angela saying she started laughing and laughing and laughing. And I said, as she was laughing, I said, what, you need everyone to want you. Like, everyone you go on a date with has to fall in love with you and choose you. No one can reject you.

Who are you?

No one's allowed to say, I don't want you. How arrogant is that? And she started laughing and laughing and laughing, and she says, I know that is arrogant. And she started like, and. And it was this. This moment that. I remember that moment because of the phone call that you gave me. Because you then called me. This was what you said 10 years ago, something like that.

Yeah.

You called me a few months ago and tell everyone what you told me. By the way, I also remember a moment where I also remember a moment where Angela was. We were in the kitchen, you remember? And you fell over in the kitchen and I was.

So it's taken me a while, so just to give you a heads up here and with all you guys, this is pretty much the first time that I'm wearing a skirt with my legs out. Thank you. Thanks, guys. Please. The Scottishness now. But it was my mom at the back, and some of you might know my special story with my mom. She's always gave me the confidence to get out there and share it, and here I am. So I'm digressing. So when I went to Florida, it was all about long dresses. something cardigan to hide my arm. And I thought it was like a fashion statement I was going with, but looking back, I was actually covering up, covering the insecurities, covering everything I could possibly do. And that morning, we were down to kitchen, and I'm trying to catch up with everybody else. And I remember Steve's in the kitchen. I remember Mum's in the corner at the top of the table making sure everybody's okay. And Matthew came down and I just went, I fell. And my skirt went up. And I was like, oh no, hopefully my pants don't show. But I was more bored about my leg showing. I was more bored about that insecurity, that thing, that thing like in Chris, you were talking about this week, See that thing that's holding you back, that thing that you don't want to talk about, that thing that's there. See, since you started talking about it, oh my God, your life will go like this. It took me like, come on, went to treat 10 years, I took on this stuff, then I kind of debated about, I'll take this little bit, but maybe not that little bit, and I'll take this little bit, maybe not that little bit. some of it works, some of it didn't. And as time was going on, I was like, yeah, this is taking a bit longer than everybody else. And then I thought, let's just do all of it. And all of it again, my life opened up. And the story was the phone call that I shared with you.

So tell me.

Tell everyone what you told me, because this was one of the greatest phone calls I've had in these last two years.

Can I just say something about your mum before I go? Yeah. So when I fell, my head did make a kind of a scene. And the one person that came over to me was his mum. And she picked me up and she could see that I spelt something on my dress. And I can't do an accent so I won't. And she says, you, go upstairs, get dressed, come back down. and now wash your dress. She washed my dress by hand and she hung it up. And just by doing that little thing, like feeling embarrassed and feeling like so awkward just by that beautiful action that she done, and it's not a big deal, touched me and it still touched me to this day, like in Matthew says, as that's where his mom is, like, And the next day I wore the dress again because of his mum, so thank you. I'm digressing, sorry. I think I'll take after you. So the thing was, leading up to this information I was going to share with Matthew was, how do I get the guy? who goes all around the world? How do you reach out to the guy who's everywhere? So I thought, I'll send this email, but I don't know if you'll get it. I don't know if it will even reach him, you know, like, and.

Get.

The guy techniques, the techniques that he shares with you today. Now, if this is me, if that was there 10 years ago and this is here now, your life is going to be even more better than mine. was I met a guy and the second date, the first date was good, he meant for a couple hours caught up, then the second date as Matthew said, just put it on the table, just tell him what it is, like get it over and done with, and I did. And I was so worried when I was going to tell this guy what my accident was and what scars I've got and what I wear, that he turned around and he said the same thing as Matthew. In what? And I knew then that this is the man for me.

And.

Within, yeah, like just, and it's, was it because what Matthew said that this man had said this? Probably. But also, what Matthew had taught me about myself, when I was sharing this with him, I remember before meeting up with him, if he doesn't like me for who I am, then stuff it. I'll just keep going. I'll keep going. My worth doesn't define but his is. So the get the guy stuff, that works.

So.

And with all, if I'm standing here and you can see what I wear, My scars, the insecurities, any insecurities you've had, I've had it. Seen it, done it, got the picture. If I can get that, you can certainly get that. And then a few months later, we went to St. Andrews, which is a beautiful place in Scotland. So we went on holiday and he booked the honeymoon suite. And I was like, wow, like, nobody's ever done that for me. And I was like, this is amazing. He said, oh, just so happened, the hotel that was the only room they had. I was like, wow, amazing. My mom knows. And then we go out for something to eat and then he's really nervous. Like at one point he was shaking and at one point he's like, he literally said, you, want to try this? And when he said to try the food, it went and hit someone. It was like that bad. And I was thinking, I was like, I've still got it. And then, He's like that. I need to take you to St. Andrews. It's a beautiful place up there, beautiful scenery. And I was like, yeah, let's do that under the stars. Beautiful. And then he's like, Close your eyes. I've got a surprise for you. And I was like, okay. And then I'm closing my eyes, and this is five minutes later, and I'm thinking, I'm going to get murdered. I'm going to get murdered. It's like, I'm thinking the worst. And then he's like, Close your eyes. And I was like, okay. And then Walking with heels on sand with a prosthetic leg is really difficult. So I'm going down to the sand and I'm like trying to walk sexy but slipping. It was like, but he thought it was cute. It wasn't really. And then I just was like, wow, this is so beautiful. And look at everything you can see. And then what are you doing down there? and he proposed and six months later we were married. Because of you. I've got two more things to share just so I don't have to take your time up.

I'll take my time up. You can run the day today.

I think my nerves are kind of disappeared now because I'm super excited now that I'm sharing this with you. you girls could see all week, I've wanted to tell you things. I've wanted to come and sit with you, but I've had to kind of see a bit. What's the word? Closed. You know, like, in case I slipped up and I'd shared this, you know, because I'm a bit of a gab. So another thing that I shared with Matthew was my story, the thing that I couldn't speak about, the thing that caused me most torment, the most. thing that I was scared about again, this thing about the thing that's holding you back is now for me, now I've spoke about it, Matthew got to out me, I've now started my own charity and I now help families and children who have been hurt by drunk and drug drivers. So yeah. But I wouldn't have been able to do that if I hadn't experienced experienced the retreat. I wouldn't have experienced that if I hadn't had the beautiful elephant hair presentation. I wouldn't have had to being able to do that if his mom's love and affection, like the way that she is with people, like, I am like that now when I go and visit families, you know, just with the touch or not washing clothes, but. And my beautiful mom in the corner as well, like her. Kindness and compassion and beauty and always been there for me, you know? I feel very lucky. But it took all this time to get here. So I need to give this to you because I need to show you something. So one of the saddest things. So one of the saddest things about.

Being.

In the accident and what she's been through you guys is like getting told that this is not going to happen for you. like you're not going to have your life, you're not going to, it's like Matthew was talking about the moment when you look back at your life and you don't have the people around you or you don't have the things that you want. And I was told because the severity of my injuries that I'm never going to have a child. I imagine that like you've always wanted to have a family and have a child and to have that taken away from you. to think like, how do you console yourself with that? Like, I don't think I could. And lucky I've got the love of my lovely husband now and things like that. But Matthew wanted me to come out and talk when was it Christmas time? And sadly, I had to go back into hospital for another operation. And my operation, it wasn't good, ladies. It was really hard in fact. It was life changing. Mummy, can you come and see this Pauline? Pauline Stephen, can you come and see this? I'm going to show you guys just in a minute but I just want you to see this reaction because their love and care for the retreat has brought a lot of you here today with mum and dad.

Yeah.

I know. Like.

So.

So. So the.

The. Yeah.

So I've got to be a baby girl now. I'm so pleased for you. I really hope nobody told you to spoil the surprise.

Why did you not tell me that on the phone?

It was really hard. Like, it was really hard. I did have work. Well, I did say to him I had work on and I did have work, but. It was still that way, like, would it be safe to travel and things like that and, but most importantly, like, what's her name? Hannah.

Hannah.

And she's so cute. It's like sometimes I look at her and I just think, wow, like, I carried you, like, amazing.

And.

I think what I want to share with you, and I hope this, you can all hear this, like, If you think like coming to the retreat or get the guy thing and you're thinking, no, it's not knitting, not getting it. I don't have my goals, I don't have this. Or you might be thinking, oh, this is what I want to do. It's funny how things just change, but they've changed because you've had this experience. And I'm not any different for you. My scars are different. My life experience is a bit different, but I'm just like you, I'm just like one of the girls. But I know, and I've came from Scotland, two flights away. I dragged my mum here. She's now burnt. Sorry, sorry, it's a lovely Santa. I've came this way 'cause I want to tell you that this works. I was trying to think of a beautiful quote or something like that, but that's what I said to you in the phone. this works. There's no like sugar coating it, there's no putting it a pretty bow or if this is what your life to be better. And sometimes I started out thinking I wanted to go in this direction, it took me to this direction. But I have fulfillment in my life in all areas, but I know that I'm going to have dips and I've got tools now as well, like I feel boosted and I've got even more tools for my self-esteem and my confidence. but I know what I've learned from you. I'm going to teach Hannah and what amazing little girl she's going to turn into. Do you know what I mean? So I want to say thank you for listening. Thank you Pauline, mommy Pauline, thank you Steve for your amazing elephant, wherever you are, David, I'm with Mum there and of course my Mum, I love you. But the chill blazer, Matthew. Thanks.

Ladies, please, can we, because Angela did not need to come here this week and she has for us, can we.

Give her a huge round of applause?

Give it up for Angela, everybody.

Thank you so much for watching. Leave me a comment and let me know what that meant to you. What story have you been telling yourself about why finding love is never gonna happen for you? I want you to leave me a comment telling me and how Angela's story affected you and maybe even shifted that story a little bit. Maybe it made you realize that there is hope that no matter what the circumstances, things are possible for us that we never imagined or that we think are not available to us. So leave me a comment. What's the story you've been telling yourself about why you'll never find love? And how has your story shifted a little bit since watching that video? And by the way, this moment with Angela took place on our retreat in Florida. For anyone who wants to join us this year, our event is from the 9th to the 14th of September. It is six days of immersion with me leading you through a process that I've developed over 15, well, 17 years of my life now. So if that video made you feel like this is a place you want to be and you want those six days of growth for yourself, then check it out. I'll leave a link and you can come and see for yourself. Thank you so much for watching. Do leave me a comment before you go. I will be reading them and thank you again for everything that you have done. to help us get this book out to the world. I'm so very grateful and I look forward to seeing you in the next video.