In this Love Life podcast episode, Matthew Hussey opens with a motivational message about the power of consistency over big, overwhelming actions. He then takes a call from a listener, Chantal, who feels she isn’t "dating material" because she hasn’t yet reached certain personal milestones (financial stability, career achievements) and wonders whether she should wait to date until she feels ready. Hussey challenges the notion of waiting, arguing that dating itself is a vital growth experience. He explains that preparation for a lasting relationship isn’t limited to finances or life structure; it also includes gaining relationship experience, learning what you want, and understanding how to be a good partner. He reframes “lowering standards” as expanding experiences—dating different types of men to broaden perspective, learn new interests, and discover what truly matters. Hussey emphasizes that you can date now, make mistakes, and use those lessons to become a better partner for the eventual “right” man. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to subscribe, submit questions, and share the show.
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Matthew Hussey here with Love Life. I have a question for you. When you think about going after the things you want most in life, how do you feel? Excited? Inspired? Capable of doing anything you put your mind to? Or do you feel overwhelmed? Discouraged? Like you're facing an insurmountable obstacle? If your answer is overwhelmed, you're not alone. Most people feel the same way. And the reason is this. Most people think that in order to achieve their biggest goals, they have to take big, monumental actions. And that makes them give up before they even begin. But the truth is, the key to achieving our goals is consistency. Small actions done regularly. Consistency can make all the difference between achieving your dreams and staying stuck and unfulfilled where you are. So let's set you up for success. I'll do my part by showing up every few days with a new episode filled with advice to help you live your best life. Think of listening to my show as your one small action you can do consistently. Here's your first assignment. Go to itunes and click the subscribe button. This will make sure that you get the latest episode as soon as it's released. Ready to get started? Let's go. We have a caller on the line today. Her name is Chantal. Am I pronouncing that right? Chantal. Chantal, it's good to speak to you.
You too. I can't believe I'm talking to you.
I can't believe I'm talking to you. This is. This is a great moment for us both. What was your question, Chantal?
I was watching your video about when you said that we make excuses as to why we can't date. So I thought I knew what. Why I didn't want to date right now. But that video made me really think. And then so I thought about it, and I found out that the reason was that I feel like I'm not dating material. And when I say that, I mean, like, I feel like I'm not at a point in my life where I should be, like, you know, like, financially or just where I am, and I feel like my standards are so high, so I just. Basically, my question is, like, should I wait until I get to a good point in my life where my actually wants to date me, where I'm, like, accomplished, or should I work on that while I get to that place? If you understand what I'm trying to say.
Wow. What a great question. Very well phrased as well.
Thank you.
So, okay, let's start at the beginning. I'm the same way as you, a little bit I like to really get to a point where I think I'm at my absolute hottest and then date someone. You know what I mean? You're like, how can I make myself amazing and then date someone so that. So that then I feel great about this whole situation right now. The problem with that is that there are things that dating can bring you in terms of growth right now that you will miss out on. If you are too busy getting every other area of your life perfect before you then go and date. What's the perfect way to be prepared for the man that you're going to spend the rest of your life with? It's to have understood dating and relationships better by that point so that when he comes along, you know what you're doing in that area. What if I told you that part of being prepared isn't just your finances, isn't just having your life structured the way that you want it? Part of being prepared is also being prepared for a great relationship, which means knowing relationships. You know, how. How do you prepare to be a great friend? Well, you have friends and you practice being a great friend. How do you prepare for being a great daughter or a great sister? You do that. You do it every day and you get better along the way, and you make lots and lots and lots of mistakes. So for you right now, I would say that the two aren't. Your growth and your ability to be in a relationship aren't mutually exclusive. You can do both at the same time. And in fact, the only way to really be ready for the man that you want to meet is to date other men now, right? So you don't have to be the next guy you meet and date. Doesn't have to be the guy you're going to spend the rest of your life with. But guess what? He might be a guy you learn a lot from. He might be a guy that teaches you a lot about guys in general. It might be a relationship that teaches you a lot about relationships in general. You'll make a lot of mistakes. You'll learn from them. And the guy that you do end up with will be so grateful that you got out those mistakes on someone else. So.
So. So I lower my standards.
That's an interesting. Okay, you. It's a. Another great question. You. I believe that when you're young. You know what? Forget it. When. Whenever you. Wherever you're at in life, you can leave a relationship anytime you want. You just have to know that you're strong enough to leave. That's all. But you can leave a Relationship anytime you want. Now, when you say lower your standards in a way, I don't necessarily look at it as lowering your standards. I look at it as being prepared to have experiences. Being prepared to have experiences in life that will actually teach you a lot about life. You know, haven't you done some jobs that weren't the perfect job, but you did them because you thought they would give you some experience and you'd learn more about the world by doing them?
True.
You know, we do that. We go. We travel to certain countries, not because we want to live there for the rest of our lives. We travel to a country because we think, I want to experience that country for a week. I want to see what that kind of place is like to be in. Well, guess what? Guys are like that, too.
Yeah.
You know, there might be one type of guy that you say, you know what? This is a guy that. That I'd see for a weekend because he's fun to engage with and to go out with and, you know, just. Just being around him. He's a completely different type of person than me. And that's useful because he balances me out in a different way and teaches me something. You know, there might be other people who are crazy. You're with them, and they're crazy, intellectual, and. And you realize that to be with them for too long would bore you because that's all they talk about. But guess what? To be with them for a little while teaches you the value of things that. That you otherwise wouldn't do. You know, you. You fall in love with reading again, or you fall in love with certain subjects. They're great people to be around for that. So don't think of it as lowering your standards. Think about it as engaging in different types of experience that allow you to be more worldly along the way. And. And nothing, trust me, nothing will help you choose the guy you actually want more than knowing what's actually out there.
Right. Okay.
Does that make sense?
It does.
Thanks, Chantel. I appreciate you being on the line.
Thanks for having me.
Of course. If you have a question for Love life or for me, the show won't answer you. I will answer you. Send us in questions at Lovelife. Let us know what you want answered. Do you have a personal issue you want to talk about? Do you have a friend that has something they want to ask or something you want to ask on their behalf? Hashtag lovelife on Twitter. All right, take care. I will see you soon. Thanks for listening and making me part of your weekly ritual toward achieving your dreams. Now, if you're getting a lot out of these episodes, please do me a favor and help me spread the word so that other women like you can find and enjoy the show in the itunes app or on your desktop. Just look up the show, click on ratings and reviews, and then click write a review. Thank you so much and have a fantastic week. I'll speak to you soon.
