9 Sept 2016 · 7 min
Matthew Hussey argues that the two-thirds statistic about meeting partners at work just reflects how much time people spend there, not that it's ideal. Workplace romance offers social proof and slow rapport-building, but comes with a limited pool and professional risk if things end badly. He recommends expanding your dating circle through friends and classes instead.
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Hello everybody, welcome to Love Life. I'm Matthew Hussey. One of the questions I get asked most by women is what to do when a man they've just started seeing gets too sexually suggestive too quickly via text. This happens all the time and there are a few different ways that you can respond. It all depends on the kind of message that you want to send. I've actually got an amazing script for you to use that shows him that you're high value while still driving him crazy with desire. I'll tell you how you can get this copy and paste text at the end of the show today. So be sure to listen right till the end. Okay, let's get to the show. Today we're going to be talking about meeting friends through work. We hear about this all the time and actually it's been in the news a lot recently, all these statistics about how many people we meet in the working environment. I heard one recently that was two-thirds of people meet their partner either through friends or through work. And this is being used as a backwards statistic. In other words, they're saying that because two-thirds of people meet their partner through friends or at work, that must mean that friends or work are the best places to meet people. And this is a completely backwards logic. It doesn't mean that these are the best places to meet people. It simply shows that this is where most people are meeting their Partners. Now, look, let's discuss the pros and cons of meeting someone at work. the first pro of meeting someone at work is what we call social proof. In other words, because you both work in the same environment, you both know each other, you have a level of comfort and rapport that comes from knowing that you're both kind of stand up people that work at this place. The second part is you know how someone reacts to situations. You know how they deal with pressure. You know how they deal with certain areas of discipline, of having to show up every day and do their job. You know how good at their job they are. All of these things are good things to know about a potential so work is kind of a crash course in getting to know your partner, at least in one particular environment. The other big pro, the third one, is that you can build up rapport over time with this person instead of having, you know, if you met someone in a coffee shop today, you'd have to just approach them, start talking to them, and hope that you were gonna go from start to finish in getting their number now. At work, you can get to know someone over six months before you ever go on a date with someone, which some people prefer, 'cause they prefer the slow burn method of building attraction. Now, let's discuss some of the cons of meeting someone at work. First one is that small pool of people that, you know, you might work in an office where there's 10 people, you might work in an office where there's 200 people. It still isn't a lot of people either way. So you're choosing from a very limited pool of people. This also skews our perception of how attractive someone is. It's almost like if everyone in your office is boring and unattractive, and then someone walks in who's slightly charismatic and seems attractive to you, All of a sudden, they seem like Brad Pitt. The other problem, of course, we all know this, is the idea of crapping on your own doorstep. If you suddenly start dating someone, it goes wrong, and now you have to go to work with this person every day, it's not gonna be the most comfortable of situations for you or them. It may even create problems with your career politically. So there are good points and bad points, but let me just explain this statistic. To me, this statistic of two-thirds of us meeting our partners through work or friends, really doesn't speak to me of how amazing these are as locations for meeting people. It speaks more to the insular nature of people's lives. In other words, that they spend two thirds of their time at work and they spend the rest of their time with friends. Now, how do we increase our pool of people and still make use of these great ways of meeting people? 'Cause if we take the premise that the good points about meeting people in these environments is that we have social proof, Is that we spend a lot of time with these people and we have this rapport with them and is that we can speak to them every week instead of having to make it all happen at once, let's find other ways of doing that. Well firstly, you could increase your social circle so that even though we're still meeting people through our circle, that's not limited to five people and the people they know, it's 50 people and the people they know. Of course, those 50 people aren't all gonna be best friends, but they are gonna be friends that could introduce you to other people. I would argue that this is much more enjoyable and likely than being able to do three jobs because you want to increase your pool of people that you could meet in the workplace. We don't have the time for that, nor do we have the inclination. So what do you do if you have an office where you're not attracted to anyone or you don't want to cross-pollinate those two areas of your life? You increase your circle of friends, or let's say you join a class. Joining a class means you can meet someone this week, you can speak to them again the next week, you can talk to them again the next week. You can still have that slow burn method that occurs when you meet someone at work, it's just not in that environment where it's difficult to leave if the relationship goes wrong. So don't buy into these statistics just because two thirds of people do it that way. It doesn't make it the best way of doing it. And you can use those formulas without using those specific methods of meeting people. Diversify and expand. Do not contract in your love life. and you will find that you're much happier and have plenty more options than the next person. Take care my friends, I'll see you soon. If you haven't followed me on Facebook yet, go do that now, it's Coach Matthew Hussey. I'll see you soon. Okay, are you ready to get your hands on that amazing text that sets your standard with the man who sexts too soon? Well, I've included it and eight other incredibly useful scripts in a free guide that I've created for you called Nine Magic Texts no Man Can Resist. The text I was talking about at the top of the show is number seven of nine. Just copy and paste it or any of the nine texts tonight, and he'll find you completely irresistible. To get your free guide, just go to lovelifepodcast.com/texts.
