8 Apr 2022 · 6 min
Matthew AI argues that being single is a relationship status, not a failure. Drawing on Esther Perel, he explains that relationships constantly evolve, and the real win is internal growth: developing yourself and contributing to your community, not chasing external validation through a partner.
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'Cause you didn't meet someone yet, that doesn't make you any more of a failure than anyone else. Like, that you gotta lose that shit. Like, it doesn't, what does it mean? What does it mean? It's not, to me, it's just not interesting. Being single, oh, you're still single. It's just not, it's just not an interesting comment to me. Some of the most interesting people I know are still single. Some of the most amazing people I know are still single. And maybe they'll meet someone at some point and, well, you know, then when they're with someone, you know, you create a story around that. Of course they've found someone, they're amazing. But we don't think of the whole time that they were single and we could easily have gone, you,'re so amazing, how come you're still single? I just don't get it. If someone like you can be single, I'm fucked. Right? We, life is, life is, you know, on that level, life is long. Like, I think life is ridiculously short and I wish there was more of it, but on that level, we're gonna live many lives, most of us. And Esther Perel, someone I love, you know, she said, we're all gonna have many different relationships, all of us. It's just some people are gonna have it with the same person and other people are gonna have it with different people. Right? So even the people you know that are in relationships are constantly having new relationships. Because the relationship evolves every year, it changes. The people change. That's the one thing you can never take for granted in a relationship that someone's gonna stay the same, they're not. So even within relationships that we might envy, those people change over the course of that relationship. It's not easy. It's not just smooth sailing. Those things, they're always adjusting to a new norm. So we just have to lose this, you know, it can't be that you feel like a failure because you haven't found someone. That cannot be the case. The wins have to be more interesting than that. The wins have to be who you've become, what you're capable of adding as value to someone's life, the opportunities you create, the person you becoming a person that would be incredibly valuable in a relationship, You recognizing what is valuable about you in a relationship and giving that to people even when you're not in a relationship, whether it's friends, family and so on. All of that, those are all interesting wins. Finding a partner, you know, that's amazing. But whenever someone comes to me and says, Matt, I found this amazing guy because of you. I love it. I love it. It brings me a lot of joy. But also, I'm just as excited when someone says, I've become this amazing person because of your videos, but I haven't found anyone yet. Those two things are equivalent to me. One doesn't win because that person found someone because the other person, if they've done the work, if they've got the growth out of it, they could be two days away from meeting that person. They could be three months away from meeting that person. So what I'm gonna, oh, almost there. Almost there. Just tell me when you've got the person. No, I don't get, I don't care. I don't care. I don't use that judgment for myself and you shouldn't use that judgment for you.
Hey guys, Matthew here. I hope you enjoyed the episode. Listen, we're really putting a lot of effort into building this podcast right now so it can help more people. One of the things that you can do that would really help us do that is leave us a review and tell the rest of the world what you think of this podcast. Please go over to iTunes, and leave us a review. I am reading all of them and some of them will even air on the podcast. Thank you so, so much.
I see the vlog sites. Ookie woop.
Got a new wife.
Shorty got a new boo. Yeah.
Love beautiful. Hi, I'm Rob Word, the host and film historian of A Word on Westerns. And I'm RJ Word. None of my credentials make the most sense for this podcast, so I'm gonna leave them out. Our award-winning YouTube series, A Word on Westerns, is now a podcast. If you're even the slightest bit curious about the genre that shaped American film history, you've come to the right place. 'Cause we're gonna be speaking with actors, filmmakers, and creators about some of your all-time favorite westerns. Every Monday on A Word on Westerns.
