Decoding Your Most Confusing Texts From Men

That's the part we have to stop. It's like take back power for creating. What frame of reference do you want to create? And if something if someone's doing something that doesn't fit into that frame, then either call it out or don't engage with it or create the frame you want and see if they conform to that frame.

Hello, and welcome back to the podcast show podcast, Love Life with me, Stephen Hussey, and the one, the only, the face of the Matthew Hussey channel, it's Matthew Hussey, everyone.

Not just the face of the Matthew Hussey channel, the face of the person, Matthew Hussey.

Yeah, the face that belongs to the brand, Matthew Hussey.

I, I'm starting to want to get away from this whole Matthew Hussie thing, because I don't like the fact that I've become a, like, I want it, I want to reduce it to just Hussie, because then it sort of could be any of us.

Oh, I thought it's like you want to be like Madonna. You want to even more, just, just the Hussie.

No, it's not that. I just don't, I don't like that I've, you know, your name starts to, you know that idea of semantic satiation, when you say a word so much, it loses its meaning.

Sure.

That's what happens to my name when people You know, you refer to me as the Matthew Hussey brand. I start to lose any, the meaning of.

You say it too much. Well, welcome everyone. For those of you who don't already listen to our podcast, we are filming it live today on YouTube, something we have never done. The Love Life Podcast has never been live on YouTube.

Has it?

No, we have a chat on YouTube, but this is genuine recording of our podcast right now, which you can listen to on iTunes, Spotify and Stitcher if you search for the Love Life Podcast.

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Yes, I'll get right on it. We've got a trio of hussies in the room. We've got Harry Hussie in the tech room, which is the corner over there. How are you doing, sir? Oh, I'm very good. I started to believe that it wasn't possible to get you two in the same room for one of these.

Well, I'm back in London.

That's why we're in the same room. I feel this is becoming a bit like the Baldwins, where there's, like, more of them or the Walburgs.

Right.

But it's like another hussy over there.

Yeah.

And I'm not saying we're as big as those, but I'm just saying.

Definitely not. I'm just saying.

We haven't. We haven't. We haven't invented a burger chain yet. No, sure. Well, welcome, everyone. We're actually gonna do something fun today on the show. We're going to talk about your texts. We did a post on Instagram Facebook saying, tell us. your most confusing text you've ever got. And Matt, it was a veritable stew of strangeness, candidness.

You said there were like 4,000.

4,000 responses.

That's mad.

Yeah.

And there are some themes and that's kind of what I want to bring to you. I want you, you know, you did that famous video where you translate what he means, what he says and what he actually means. I thought we could maybe do this with some of these texts and you could say, gut instinct, you get that text. What's he really thinking in that moment?

Let's do it. Confusing texts decoded.

Okay, so I kind of, there's kind of different categories here. I guess the best place to start is with what was undoubtedly the most popular one.

Okay, by the way, for the people listening, I have not, there's been no prior revealing of these to me. You've prepped for this, but I don't know what you're gonna say. So, let's see, I'm curious about first responses to these.

Okay, this is the most popular, probably for a good reason. This is from Teacup Izzle. Teacup Izzle, the text is, I can't wait to see you again. Followed by immediately ghosting me. And I don't know what that says that that has like 700 likes.

Oh, God. But I'm not laughing in a mean way. I just think it's like dating's annoying, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah.

Dating is annoying.

I think that has so many likes because that basically sums up how people feel about modern dating.

Yeah, I can't. But it's not just the Like it was great seeing you. It wasn't just a polite, like, I had a nice time.

Yeah.

From someone who's worried you might be hurt. It's literally proactively showing excitement for the next time you're gonna see them.

Yeah.

And then ghosting them.

It's, I mean, is that someone who's overdoing it after the date? I can't wait to see you again.

I think that, well, okay, so here's how I would, it's very hard to speak to someone's intentions, but here's what you can say. People say things in states of elation, passion, loneliness, a moment of validation seeking that make them say heightened things. if I'm lonely and I am in need, then I'm more likely to say something passionate to you to elicit the response that I need in order to feel good about myself. And in that sense, it's partially about you to the extent that you're the chosen recipient of that in that you're the target of my neediness or my loneliness or my just you know, existential dread, whatever, in that moment. So in that sense, it's a compliment. They could have chosen someone else to do that with, but they've chosen you. But it's not fully about you. It's about something they need in that moment.

That text, someone might send, I keep thinking about you. It's like, that might be true, but it doesn't signal intent. They could say, I keep thinking about you, But never ask you out to do anything.

Like we've said a million times, attention is not intention.

Right.

And that someone saying, I can't wait to see you again, might be said in a moment of passion or elation or loneliness, right? Which is why you have to be very careful not to measure the spikes and take the spikes in what someone says too seriously, but take the consistency of what they do seriously. So, you know, okay, they said, I can't wait to see you again. By the way, there's no problem in mirroring that if you feel the same way.

Right?

So mirror it in the moment. Someone says, I can't wait to see you again. Say, I feel the same way. You don't have to say more than that.

Right?

You can meet him or her where he is.

Right?

And I think that's a key concept in texting. Meet them where they are.

For sure.

So don't they go here and then you go here. You know, I can't wait to see you again. Me neither. I was thinking that we could meet my parents this Saturday.

Yeah.

Like, there's one strip of blue on this.

And then yours is a paragraph. Exactly. Like, match them. Mirror and match. But someone says, I can't wait to see you again. If you genuinely feel the same way, then say, I feel the same way. But it doesn't have to be, oh my God, I'm so glad you said that. I was feeling that, but I didn't know if I should say it. Whatever. Now, You're not meeting him where he is. He says, I can't wait to see you again. You say, I feel the same way. That's it. Doesn't even need an exclamation mark.

Yeah.

I feel the same way. You can be understated about it.

Maybe a smiley face.

Yeah.

But you communicated we're on the same page. But does the page turn? Tomorrow, does he actually back that up by asking you to do something? or the next day or the next day, if he doesn't, then you have your answer about the intent, even if the attention was misleading. What's next?

So, next one, can I... There's some that are what I think of as screenplay texts. They sound like something, a line from a movie.

Okay, I'm looking forward to hearing it.

I'm going to text you one right now.

Okay. And by the way, while Stephen is texting me this, checking out some of the comments, some people are saying, please upload this later. I don't believe we are uploading it later. So if you're enjoying this and you want to hear more of these confusing texts, stay with us. This is not going to be uploaded to YouTube afterwards. We literally had a team agreement about that a couple of days ago. I suppose it could change, but as of right now, this isn't going to be uploaded.

All right, I've just texted you, Matt. Read out the text.

I don't love you right now, but I love you. Was that a popular one? There was a lot of people like that in the.

Yeah, yeah.

So when, because again, for the listeners out there, we posted these on it. We posted this question. What's the. most confusing text you've received.

I've had 300 likes on Instagram.

300 likes for this one.

I don't know if they're just going, oh, that's a good line. That sounds like something from As Good As It Gets or an Albert Brooks movie.

Well, I've heard, I feel like I've heard an iteration of this.

Imagine this in like when Harry met Sally. I don't love you right now, but I love you. It's a, that's a line.

But I feel like I've heard this before of I don't like you right now, but I love you. Which makes it less confusing. I would say this is the more confusing version of that text.

Right.

I don't like you right now, but I love you. Because that's saying you're like really pissing me off right now.

Yeah.

You're annoying me or you've upset me.

You're a nightmare, but I love you.

Yeah, I don't like you, but I love you. Right now, I don't like you, but I love you. I don't love you right now. But I love you. It's a bit more confusing. That is a... I think 300 people have liked that because it's confusing.

I think that's genuinely...

I think that's a guy who's not... that's not... I would argue that that's someone who's not crafted very good. If they were going for something like a line that was going to make a distinction, like to really what you're trying to say with that. You're trying to say, I'm annoyed at you. There's something you've done that I don't like, but I still love you and I want you to feel secure in my feelings for you.

Yeah.

I just don't think it's delivered very well.

Or it's saying like, I really think the world of you, but I'm not in love, I'm not passionately in love with you.

I don't love you right now.

Because you could be saying someone like, I love you as a person, but I'm not in love with you.

Right, well if that's the case, you get out of there.

Yeah, I mean, if someone's saying that by text.

If someone says, I don't love you right now, but I love you, and what they're trying to say is, I'm not in love with you, but I love you, then you leave.

Yeah.

Because that's someone who is gonna absolutely break your heart. Because you'll hold on to the hope of, but he said he loves me. And what's really going on is he's trying to maintain this image of being the good person. and still, and by the way, it might be true. You can love someone and not be in love with them, but that person is going to make you really, really unhappy and that person is going to break your heart. So someone's saying, I just don't feel in love with you or I'm not, I don't love you, but I love you. It's like, well, it doesn't really matter that you love, if you don't want to be here, you loving me doesn't matter. I think that in general, whenever anyone says to you as they're breaking up with you, like, I really, really love you. that's okay. It doesn't make it not true. I'm not being cynical about that, but it doesn't. It's not helpful. It's not like that's of no consequence, is it?

Yeah.

You telling me you love me at the same time as breaking up with me? Okay. What do you want me to do with that? Because that's gonna keep me warm tonight. Yeah, it doesn't matter. So don't hold on to the hope that someone still loves you when they're telling you they don't want to be with you. Yeah, there is. truly time to move on. What's our next text? I like the fact that we're getting through these.

Next text is. Oh, it's so many choices. Okay, this one actually might just be honest, but not. Not the best thing to say. Victoria, you are too successful and too intelligent for me to ever. Steve, just hold on. In the text quote, you are too successful and too intelligent for me to ever feel comfortable around you. And in a way, that might be straight up honest. He's kind of laid out where he's at there.

For him to ever feel comfortable around her.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I think you've got to say fair enough.

In a way, the least confusing one yet.

Well, look, that's doing one of two things. It's either, it's either absolutely honest or a massive cop-out. Yes. Or it's a really like a compliment exit.

It's a weaselly way.

Yeah, it's like, I'm not feeling it, so I'm gonna make this about how wildly amazing and intelligent you are.

Right.

You know, you're so intelligent, you're so successful, Oh, it's just too much for me.

It's like a savvy exit.

Steve, when I was 16 and I went and like tried to get a job at Dow Chemical, the boss there told me, he asked me all of the things that I wanted to do with my life and I was like, oh, I want to write books and I want to do this and I want to do that, whatever. And he said to me, young man, I think by being here, if we gave you a job, we would just be slowing you down. He wasn't gonna give me a job. Like if I turned around and said, no, you're not. I wanna be here. He would have had to go, There's no job for you here. But he gave me the compliment letdown.

What he was saying is, you arrogant little shit, get out of my office and don't come back.

Right, exactly. But he put that through the Dow Carnegie filter.

Right.

You know what I mean? You say that into a Dow Carnegie megaphone and what comes out the other end is, Young man, I feel like by giving you a job we would just be slowing you down. And I went, you,'re right. And I walked out feeling good.

Coming up to, I don't know, 17-ish years on from that, was he right?

I think in fairness it's possible he may have slowed me down. But he didn't know that.

Right.

He did not know that.

Yeah.

He just was trying to get me out of his office. But so look, it's possible that that is just a guy who is like when a guy says, oh, you're too... Well also though, when a guy is saying to a woman, you,'re too intimidating or you're, you know, what you do is intimidating. I think there's... It's not not true. But it doesn't mean all men are intimidated.

Right.

Sometimes I hate the fact that it then gets labeled that all men are.

Intimidated by... Yeah, the leap becomes that no man wants to a successful, intelligent woman.

Right. Right. Yeah.

Which is ridiculous.

And I also think I'm not, I, I want to be really careful with this point because I do think a lot of women, just by being as strong and as independent as they naturally are, are intimidating to me. So I'm not, mate, that is true. And that's not the women's fault. That's our fault as men.

Right.

For, you know, having such fragile egos and our cultural conditioning that teaches us we're not worthy if we're not Successful and providing and this and that. There's a whole bunch of societal cultural things in there too. But I do think sometimes the reason we hear the same thing over and over again is because we're wearing it too heavily up front. If I constantly go into every room, I don't know, whatever is my biggest strength, if I go in talking about that all the time, then that sort of becomes my identity. I like taking the things that make me impressive and having them announce themselves a little later and start by just making someone else feel special. But I'm not suggesting that's what's going on in this text. When he says, you,'re too successful and intelligent for me to ever feel comfortable around, I'd go, okay, I don't know what to say to that. I really like you and I think you're great, but if If that's how you feel, I don't know what to say.

Yeah.

What's next?

Okay, another again, this is also just painfully honest, but I wanted to say it because it's funny. Rebecca, his text said, She put real just before it to say, this is real. Oh, okay. She quote, I wanted to be honest with you always, so I may hire a prostitute tonight, but that doesn't change you and me together, does it?

That's not... No, it's not real.

She says it's real.

It's not real. It's not real.

She says it's real. I wanted to be honest with you always.

So... No, wait.

And as well, it's not real. I may, I may.

No, no, no, that's not the best bit.

The best... Yeah, that... Like, I'm thinking about ordering a pizza. I'm hiring a broth.

I haven't even... I've potentially given you this image of me for something I might not even want to do. I might actually decide just to sit and watch Lost instead. Like, my God. So, but the funniest part to me is the last line.

That doesn't change you and me together, does it?

That's the funniest part, because It's one thing to be like, if this man has just got this radical candor approach to life, which is like a very few fanatics, there aren't many of them. But if you take the view that I'm just going for radical candor in my love life, then you, I suppose, would be honest about that. But if he's then the assumption It's the assumption that, best, but we'll be all right, won't we?

Yeah.

It's not going to change.

I've got to know what the, what is the context and the nature of this relationship prior to this. If he, if he thinks this doesn't change the relationship, what is the relationship? Like, what have they been experiencing together so far?

Yeah.

I mean, the fact she's saying it, she thinks it's, insane that he's done it. So the fact that she's putting it.

To us, I feel like she's being somehow punked. It's some dating reality show. They're like, how honest can you be and still keep someone?

Yeah.

And, and that, like, she's part of that experiment.

There's one more of these ludicrously honest ones, and this also sounds like someone who's like, one of those maybe like hyper rationalist people who has decided if I just be absolutely straight 100% of the time that's sort of like an efficient way to live.

Yeah.

But they've said I loved our first date and wanted to let you know that I'm most comfortable with maybe texting one to two times a week with possibly having sex every 10 days. She says Huh? Yes, that was a real date.

No, Steve. That can't be a real text.

The wonderful thing about that is, and some of these are actually revealing this, like some people aren't confusing. They, you've said this before, people tell you, they don't even just show you who they are. Some people tell you who they are really, really quickly, and it's not confusing. You just have to realize you've been given a lifeline right there, and you must never entertain the bullshit again.

It is funny that that was listed in a response to our question, can you put your most confusing texts below?

But that's one thing I do find confusing.

That does not qualify as confusing.

I find that interesting because I think on some level some people do get lost in like analyzing. What does he want? Why did he say that?

Why would he, what does he mean? Like he's literally saying, he's essentially telling her the time of day he possibly wants to have sex and how many literally a measurement on the number of texts a week. And the question behind it is, but what does it mean?

Yeah.

What is he really looking for?

Yeah, I think.

Yeah.

I mean, at that point, you have to ask yourself, why am I confused? What's confusing about this to me? And why is it that I'm making this a confusing thing. This is not. And we don't have to go that extreme, by the way, to know that, do we?

No.

Like, we can go to just a situation where someone pops up now and again for a bit of attention and someone says to you, someone says, what does he really want? I mean, it couldn't be more. If you forget the words and just take a bird's eye view of this situation and how much effort is being put in and when the effort is being put in and how sporadic the effort is, and how there's no particular pattern to the effort, you don't need to sit there and like, this is so confusing. It's not confusing. This person is clearly not trying to move the ball forward in this relationship. That's not confusing. But we confuse things that are so bloody simple. And it's worth asking the question, I mean, maybe we could do this at the end of this, but Why do we confuse things that on the face are so simple? But before we do that, Steve, let's get to another text, because these are great.

All right, I'll give you a... Oh, this is... I reckon this is common. I reckon this is common. This isn't a silly one. When they give status updates via text, I'm making vegetable soup. I'm driving to the farm and these keep coming but they never ask you out. What the F?

Yeah, well we just talked about this, right? It's a lack of progression. What you're looking for and we have an entire program about this called the Momentum Texts, right? Like if you go to our website howtogettheguy.com, there's a program on the programs page called the Momentum Texts the reason I created that program was literally to show people how to move the ball forward in texting.

Right.

And by the way, I don't think texting is that important. It's just another means of communication.

Right.

But a lot is Illustrated. When I hear stuff like this, I hear all of the reasons why people aren't progressing, because I see the things they're not doing. And I think texts are a fun vehicle to illustrate principles of communication. in dating that can actually help people go from something that's casual to something that's committed. Or if they're in a pattern right now of consistently being casual with someone and you want to be more committed, you want someone to commit, the momentum texts show you whether you use them by text or by phone, it doesn't really matter. You can use them in conversation, but they show you the language of what gives you momentum and why it gives you Momentum, why it works. And if you look at why for a lot of people, they have this, you know, he texts me and says, I, you know, I'm making soup, but why does he never ask me out? Part of the answer is because you're allowing this dynamic to continue. I'm not saying it's her fault that he's being this way, but it's your fault if that dynamic never progresses or dies.

Right.

At a certain point, we further a dynamic, we perpetuate a dynamic. And if it's not progressing or dying is because you're, you've got it on life support when it shouldn't be. And that when someone's saying to you.

You'Re like, damn it, I don't want to lose this thing.

Yeah, so you're like, yeah, exactly. What kind of soup is it? Right, it's you're constantly trying to like, oh, there's a flutter of the heart. It's still, the heart's still beating. Okay, let me feed into this dynamic and then you feed into the exact dynamic you want to stop. You know, I'd say, like, I'd either make a joke of it. I'm a big fan of being playful, right? Like, someone says, I'm making soup, and you'd be like, that's, you know, that sounds delicious. Send me a picture. And they send you a picture of the soup, and you're like, you know what's even more delicious than vegetable soup? Vegetable soup on a date. you know, like, like make light of it, but expose the elephant in the room.

Yeah. Yeah.

So that's one way of doing it. But we're so afraid of, like, we. Here's the. One of the big problems in life is we buy into other people's Dynamics. Yes.

Yeah, absolutely.

Like, we allow them to control the frame. That's the part we have to stop. is like take back power for creating, what frame of reference do you want to create? And if something, if someone's doing something that doesn't fit into that frame, then either call it out or don't engage with it or create the frame you want and see if they conform to that frame.

Yeah.

But don't keep buying into the frame that they create.

Here's my metaphor, Matt. People who do that, they're playing like the third cellist. In the orchestra. Instead of going to the conductor thing and going ah, second trombone is slacking, not doing anything. Replace. Next one. Put someone else in there. I control this. Ah, the music's not going the way I want, there's a law. Okay, let's redirect.

I need a new orchestra. None of this is working.

All of you are fired.

And you're just not having a go at cellists, Steve. You could play the cello, but if you're going to play the cello, be Yo-Yo Ma.

Does Yo-Yo Ma play cello?

I think he does, doesn't he? Yo-Yo Ma plays the cello, that's his thing. I mean, honestly, I think Yo-Yo Ma.

Plays probably more than one cello.

He's slightly correct. Yeah, he's one of the most probably.

The most famous cellist in the world. This is exposing big holes in my culture.

Anyway, Yo-Yo Ma is the rock star of cellists. If you're gonna play the bloody cello, be the rock star of cello.

I like Bach. Not around anymore, but he had hits. This is a closer, not a chellist, surely. Ah, Bach. Bach did a lot of cello compositions, sure enough.

Bit of a non sequitur.

I'm gonna say here on the show, I'm nearly 100% Bach played the cello. Fair enough. The man was a musical genius.

I don't think anyone was disputing it.

Oh, you Bach fans out there, that's a real crossover, the YouTube audience and Bach fans. I know this is where we're hitting the sweet spot.

By the way, if you're not subscribed right now to the YouTube channel, please, we'll cut this bit out of the podcast. But if you're not subscribed to the YouTube channel, please go and subscribe. You'll miss these lives if you don't.

We're thinking of doing these once a week, aren't we?

So, we are, yeah. Or is that news to you? No, we are doing these once a week. So subscribe, hit the notification bell so that you don't miss these when they go live. 'Cause this would, people would have missed out if they didn't see it. People are missing out right now. Have you got a friend you should send the link to this to? She's missing out. He's missing out. Bring him here. Subscribe, hit the notification bell. By the way, real quick, we have a virtual retreat coming up in September from the 24th to the 26th. Harry, it's going to be the biggest one yet. Indeed it will.

We've done three of them now.

Have we done three or two? We've done two virtuals. Two virtuals and they've been just smash hit successes. People have loved them. And it's not just about your love life, it's about your whole life. If you want to come join us, on the next virtual retreat. It's been a Steve, I'm not, you know, it's been a rough year. Like we talked about last year, like 2020, but for a lot of people, this year is still extremely transitional and weird.

Yeah, it's still, we're not out of the woods.

But you can, whilst you can't, you can't change all of the conditions in your life. You can change who you become, how you react to the conditions of your life, and how consciously you determine what this chapter and the next chapter of your life is going to be about. And I often, you know, look, I have great people in my company who, whenever they sit and ask me, like, what, what's the vision for the company right now? What are the goals? And I don't have a good answer to that. I know that I'm not going to be making the progress I want to make. If I can't, if I can't answer articulately, what's the vision for my goals in my life right now? was my vision for my personality right now? Was my vision for how I want to. What I want to bring to the world in terms of my energy, my impact, or even just what's my vision for how I want to approach my day, my problems, my happiness, my family? If I don't have a vision for that, then I am just, like, bobbing in the waves. We have to have this ship that knows where it's going. It's that great Latin phrase, but the no wind is favorable to the ship that doesn't know where it's going. And the Virtual Retreat is about determining where we're going and how we're going to get there in life, not just in love. If you want to come join us on that, go to mhvirtualretreat.com. in fact, open that up in a separate browser right now so that you can go and check it out as soon as we're done here. Mhvirtualretreat.com. and Harry, maybe you can put that in the comments as well. He's already on it.

And we make it a whole party.

Party.

There's so, like, the retreat we just had was amazing.

Yeah.

I, I don't think people can appreciate how much you can do on a virtual Retreat. We had events, we had singers, we had, like, fun parties with people. We dressed up, we did comedy stuff.

We had, like, so many special guests. So it's going to be in September. It's our last one of the year. Don't miss it. Go to mHVirtuAlretreat.com. and of course subscribe to the YouTube channel. If you don't do the virtual retreat, at least subscribe to the channel and.

We'Ll keep doing free stuff.

This is free. For anyone who's like, oh, but it costs money. This is free. So just stay here and get this. All right, what's our next text?

Well, how many, let's do, we'll do like one or two more.

Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Harry, what's the time check? How long have we been rolling? 36 minutes.

I think two more.

Two more. Two more. Okay, so one here says, this is another screenplay one.

Okay, go on.

So I, you know, take this with a pinch of salt. We are on the same page, but not on the same paragraph.

Oh, God.

Again. This is like a bad... That's a bad screenplay.

Bad poetry.

We're on the same page, but not the same paragraph. I mean, there's not much need to...

So can we just... Well, let's try. Okay, let's try.

Let's give it... Let's take it... I mean, what he's done is he's.

Been deliberately obtuse there. We're on the same page.

He could have been more straight. So what he's saying is, you know... He said, Look, I'm gonna make it crystal clear for you, Monica.

I'm gonna just be straight as an arrow.

Same page, not the same paragraph. See you later.

That's how that's saying we agree to a point. There's a couple of points of disagreement. I'm not gonna point out what they are. You know that we're on the same page. You know all the paragraphs, love. You know there's five paragraphs on there. If you don't know which paragraph we're odds on, that's on you.

Is he saying We are great right now, but in the macro of our lives, we're not. Because he didn't say not in the same chapter.

Chapter would have been more.

I love the fact that we're reading so much into this. Chapter would have been more like we're.

Not in the same chapter of our lives.

Okay, people. No, no, they're in the same chapter.

They're Steve, they're more than.

They're in the same chapter. More than on the same chapter.

But not paragraphs. On the same bloody page. But they're not on the same paragraph. I think that means we want different.

Things for dinner tonight. Right, so it's actually quite a mild issue.

Exactly, exactly. He's saying, We are, do you love me? Check. Do you see a future with me? Check. What do you want for dinner tonight? Indian. Oh, I wanted Thai.

Right.

And then he's like, he's thought about it, he's stewed on it for an hour, and then he's in a wistful moment where he's thinking, I really don't want Thai. He's gone, We're on the same page. Just not in the same paragraph.

And then never spoke to her again.

I think that when someone sends you a message that is that obtuse, you've got to take that moment to just go, Could you explain what you mean by this? Don't try to. Do not try and do what Stephen and I have just done.

Right.

That's fair.

Because you'll end up ordering Indian food thinking that's going to solve the problem. Say, could you explain what you mean by this? And also perhaps choose better metaphors.

And also send me the draft of your screenplay when you're done.

And also here's a coupon to a writing course.

Well we've got one here that's probably pretty classic but it's from Sophisticated who says I don't want to lose you but can't commit.

Yeah.

That's probably a tension a lot of people have.

Steve, I want a six pack. but I really would like a tray of cupcakes today.

Yeah, I'd say that's where I'm at.

Right, right. I would like for our business to continue going well, but I would like to move to the next.

Play on my PlayStation 5 order.

I'd like to complete Spider-Man for the next. eight weeks. I would like to create, you know, a wonderful relationship with all of the wonderful people on YouTube that follow us and appreciate us. But I don't want to make any more YouTube videos.

Right.

Do you see what I mean? It's, you know, if someone says that, that's, by the way, that's honest. That's honest.

Yeah, that's not confusing. That's what I mean.

That's not confusing. It's just honest. So all you need to do with that is go, look, they don't want to lose me. That's their business. That's nothing to do with me. Yeah, yeah. The part that's to do with me is the part where they're telling me they can't give me what I want.

Yeah.

And by the way, you have to define commitment. Like sometimes we have to actually nail someone down on what is commitment to you right now. Because sometimes someone will try and pin you as the crazy one. You want all this and you want this and you... I just don't know if I can give you what you want. Well, make sure you define what it is you want so that they can't create some some I fantasy, some idea of you being crazy, you being too much. Because you might be saying to them right now, hey, look, I'm not trying to have kids this year. I'm not trying to. I I'm not even trying to be married in the next couple of years. Like, that's not. Maybe marriage isn't even on my agenda.

But.

But do I want someone who actually sees a possible future with me? Sure. If you can't see that, then I can't be here. I would like someone who is monogamous with me and is committed to truly like giving this a go. Doesn't mean we have to know everything about what the future holds. How could we? We don't know everything. and anything can happen in life, right? But do I want to know that you're actually in this right now and present and giving it your best shot right now while we're in it? Yes. And if you can't do that and you're not willing to actually give this a try, if you're not willing to truly give this an honest try, because if we try, if we give it an honest try and we fail, I can live with that. But if you're halfway in right now, then I'm out. That's not allowing someone to peg you as the commitment driven crazy one who's looking, oh, you need so much or you're trying, no, I don't need so much. I need someone who's here. I need someone who's actually like here to try.

Yeah.

Not someone who's here as a kind of like halfway house because they're just not sure what they want. At least be sure that you want to try. You don't have to know 10 years from now where you're gonna be or 20 years from now. I don't even know where I want to be 20 years from now. But if you're not here to actually give this a real try, then I'm out.

Yeah.

Don't allow someone to tie you up in their amorphous logic.

Yeah.

Define what it is you're really asking for so that they have to say no to the thing you're really asking for, not the thing they're making it out to be. Not the thing they're dressing it up as you asking for. Not the demands you've never made that they're creating in their head.

Yeah.

I think it's probably a good place to call it, right?

It is.

And I subscribe so that you don't miss this next week, because I think it's fair to say people would have missed out this week.

They would have missed out.

What would have missed out on something special? Don't miss out next week. Subscribe, hit the bell. What else should people do?

Smash that like button. Smash the like button and tap it.

Or just tap it. And do go and check out the.

Podcast on iTunes or Spotify. Love Life Podcast with Matthew Hussey.

Yeah, if you're more of a podcast person, come over to iTunes or Spotify and subscribe there. Leave us a comment on the podcast. That would mean a lot to us.

Yeah.

If you could come and leave us a comment. We've been reading those. More have been coming in recently, haven't they?

Yeah, on iTunes, where you can write a review. We've been getting loads of really lovely, wonderful reviews. Beautiful to read them. Yeah, so thank you.

We do read them, we do appreciate them. Every day new ones come in and we are reading them. So if you could leave us a review that would mean a lot. If you could subscribe that would mean a lot. Hit the bell so you don't miss anything. And of course if you want to go and check out the virtual retreat that's coming up in September, we have a glorious team of retreat specialists waiting to speak to you on the phone. They'll find out about your goals, what you're looking for, how the virtual retreat might be relevant to you, and they'll also be honest with you if it wouldn't be relevant to you. So there's no pressure on that call. You can just have a nice chat about your goals and where you want to go in life and see if it's something that could be good for you. If you like Stephen and I as mentors, we're there the whole time. You'll also get my dad and the whole crew. So go to mhvirtualretreat.com and other than.

That, we'll see you next time. Thank you pickles, peaches, puddings and pears. Harry in Control Centre, you can...

Thank you Harry. Thank you very much. And can I just say you did a great job with this. You are doing a great job of producing these podcasts. Thanks. Great comments, great questions, great texts today. And you set us up for a very entertaining episode by asking that question. We should do another question to get to the next episode.

Yeah.

Let's do that. We'll put something out on Instagram in the next few days asking another question. You answer it and then come back around the same time next week. We'll figure out the day and we'll do the same again.

Definitely.

Thanks, guys.

All right. Thank you.

Harry, take us out, baby. I see the blog sites. Ookie-Wookie got a new wife. Shorty got a new boo. Yeah, love you.

I'm looking for love.