Do Opposites Really Attract?

Matthew Hussey here with Love Life.

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Ready to get started? Let's go. Hello everyone, Matthew Hussey here from Love Life. Big topic today, something that people talk about all of the time in relationships. When they're looking for a relationship, when they're talking about compatibility, Do opposites really attract? So let's look at the real case for whether opposites do attract or not. Firstly, there's a key distinction we have to make. And the distinction is between surface level characteristics, behaviors, habits, and deeper value systems and beliefs. See, the way I look at this is that on the surface level, you can have people who are very different. You could have one person who, for example, is fascinated by dance and loves dance and has all this rhythm and, you know, she's so good at moving. You put her on a dance floor and she comes alive. And she's with a guy who you put him on a dance floor and he looks like some sort of weird abstract art. I mean, it's just really-- he just has the worst rhythm you've ever seen. And you go, Wow, these two people are so different. She's into dance and she's elegant and she moves well, and she's into this guy. who really is not like that at all. You know, he has his head in his books. He has his head in academia. He's a completely different guy. Wow, opposites attract. And here's the interesting thing about that. On the surface, these two people can be wildly different. But if we actually explore them on a deeper level, we can find out some really interesting things. Maybe we ask her why she's into dance. Why do you like dance? And she says, well, because it's creative and it allows me to be free and it allows me to just express myself and I love all those things. And then you say to him, what is it you love about your books? What is it you love about your writing? What is it you love about your study? And he says, well, it's creative and it allows me to feel free. When I write, I can write whatever I want. I can put whatever opinions down on paper I want, and I really get to express myself. And you suddenly realize that these two people are very similar. Even though they've grown up in ways that has taken them in different directions and they have different interests, they've learned different skill sets that on the surface make them look very different, on a deeper level these people are very aligned. Their belief systems, their values really do connect. Therefore, when they both express their passions for what they do and when they talk about it, they really connect on it because they understand each other. See, the truth is opposites attract when it comes to style. but not when it comes to substance. And that's actually what's so interesting is very often we find that people can be the same when it comes to their style, but when you look at their substance, they're completely different. And because they're completely different on a deeper level, it never works. And those cracks always appear. So my friends, here's my advice to you. When you go out there looking for someone to have a relationship with, or if you're with your partner right now, Look for the shared values and belief systems on a deeper level, even if on the surface you're different people. Being different people on the surface can be a wonderful thing because what happens is you connect, you bring things to each other's lives that you would never have thought of. You know, suddenly you're with a guys, you can be with a woman who dances well and you go, oh my God, this is showing me a whole new world. She gets me up to dance. You know, ladies, you can be with a man who is into some whole other subject that you've never even thought about and you go, oh my God, this is teaching me something. That's synergy. When two people bring things to each other's lives like that, that's synergy. But on a deeper level, the two of you have to be singing from the same hymn sheet. That's everything. By the way, this is one of the problems that online dating can be tough. Because very often you start looking for commonalities on the surface. What we should be looking for is who shares my values. So when you go out there now, don't mind issues on the surface, don't mind the differences on the surface, go out there and find someone who shares your values and belief systems but brings you a completely different world. That's the whole excitement of relationship. Take care my friends, LoveLife on Twitter. Let us know what you thought of the episode. Go to my website, howtgettotheguy.com if you want more information right now. I've got plenty of videos on there that are completely free for you and have an amazing day today. I'll speak to you soon.

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