How to Do What You Want (Without Being Judged)

This is an ad by Regain Couples Therapy and features real testimonials.

This was our first time trying therapy, and honestly, it was long overdue. Looking back, we just wish we had started sooner.

Regain's qualified therapists help couples when they can't get there on their own.

We thought it was intimacy issues, but Andrea helped us uncover a deeper root cause we hadn't even realized was there.

Visit regain.com couplespod to get 10% off your first month couples therapy. That works.

Hello, everybody. Welcome to Love Life.

I'm Matthew Hussey.

One of the questions I get asked most by women is what to do when a man they've just started seeing gets too sexually suggestive too quickly via text. This happens all the time, and there are a few different ways that you can respond. It all depends on the kind of message that you want to send. I've actually got an amazing script for you to use that shows him that you're high value while still driving him crazy with desire. I'll tell you how you can get this.

Copy and paste text at the end.

Of the show today. So be sure to listen right till the end. Okay, let's get to the show.

We have a question that someone has sent in today. Matt, what advice do you have regarding being comfortable doing whatever you want to do and never letting other people's opinions stop you? There's lots I'd like to do, like go on a meditation retreat, for example, but I guess I don't because I think others, for example, family friends, would judge me or think I'm being pretentious or something. How do I get over that? The first thing that has to happen is an. On an internal level, we have to get secure with who we are. So, for example, if I. I don't know, if I decided I was going to go and do ballet classes, I. I might have some of my male friends who would. Who would rib me for doing that and say, well, isn't that little girly? Or, why are you doing that all of a sudden? But the truth is I feel quite confident in. In my masculinity. I feel quite confident that I'm sporty, I like, I box, I enjoy guy things. What's the. What is the problem in enjoying something that's different or not within a certain stereotype? Now, in this situation, you have to get right with who you are. What are you worried that other people will think that you. That you are pretentious? Well, do you know you're not? Do you know that there is plenty in your life that means you're not pretentious. If you do, that's the great starting point to begin from. Because now, no matter what anyone else says, it won't resonate with you because you know what they're saying is nonsense. That's the starting point internally, now, externally, there are a couple of things you can do. On a practical level, when you say you're going to go on a meditation retreat and someone comes back and says, oh, are you serious? You're going to go and do that hippie dippy crap, right? At that point you get to decide how you're gonna react. Now they've come at you with energy. Imagine this. Like it's a transference of energy. Now when they bring you energy, your temptation is to get energetic at the same time. So they say, what, you're gonna go and do that crap? You say, well, no, I mean it's, it's, you know, it's important to me and I don't know why you're acting like this. I think it's important.

I think it's gonna be great.

You start amping up the energy again. Now when you amp up the energy, they start amping up the energy and you get into this cycle where you're both transferring all of this heat in the situation. The best thing you can do is suck the energy out. So when they say, why are you going to do that? That's so ridiculous. You say, oh, I don't know, I'm just curious. I've never done anything like that before. I thought it might be fun. What they're going to say, well, that's so stupid. You are so stupid. No one can say anything to that. You've taken the energy out of the argument. You've not fanned the flames. So that's the first part. Take the energy out of it. The second part is align yourself with them on what they say. So if they say, for example, doesn't that. I can't believe you're doing that. Isn't that like woo woo crap that you're going to do? You say, you know what, Honestly, that's what I'm a little afraid of too. I'm a little nervous about that. But you know, I'm kind of curious. I want to see what it's like. I've never done anything like that before, so I'm hoping it's not again. What does someone say to that? They can't say anything because you've. All you've done is come and stood beside them and looked in the same direction as them and said, I see exactly the way you do. I get it. Yeah. No, it could. I guess it could be weird, couldn't it? I don't know. I'm just going to try it now. You've taken the energy out of their argument again. So simple couple of techniques internally, get right with who you are before you even go. Okay. This meditation retreat doesn't define you. It's just something you're choosing to do with that particular week of your life. And on an external level, suck all of the energy out of the argument by reacting in a very calm way. Oh, I don't know. I just thought it'd be interesting. Not. Well, because here's the temptation. Someone says it's a dumb idea and you now defend something that you don't even need to defend that hard. Well, no. Science has shown that meditation retreats actually can be really useful for getting you in a mindful state and actually can have great health benefits. And you don't need to defend it that way. You're not in bed with meditation. You don't need to defend it. You just need to defend your own curiosity. I'm just curious. I'm just interested. I like to try new things. Makes sense. And then align them. Align yourself with them. You know what? You're right. It could fail for all of those reasons. But I feel like I got to give it a try. It's delightful, isn't it? Human dynamics. I love it. All these little ways of making life easier. I will see you soon, my friends. Go to facebook.com coach Matthew Hussey. I will see you there with new videos, articles, and just interesting quips and witticisms to brighten up your day. I'll see you soon. Okay.

Are you ready to get your hands on that amazing text that sets your standard with the man who sexts too soon? Well, I've included it and eight other incredibly useful scripts in a free guide that I've created for you called nine Magic ten Texts.

No man can resist.

The text I was talking about at the top of the show is number seven of nine. Just copy and paste it or any of the nine texts tonight and he'll find you completely irresistible. To get your free guide, just go to lovelifepodcast.com texts.