How to Feel Confident: Self-Image Advice (With Cassandra Sethi)

Hey guys, welcome back to the Love Life Podcast. Before we get started, just a quick bit of housekeeping. If you haven't already, make sure you get signed up to the event that I'm doing on the 23rd of this month. This is called the First Principles for Getting to Commitment. It's a virtual event. You could do it from anywhere in the world. And if you are someone who is sick and tired of people not being ready, of people only wanting casual, if you're starting to question whether real relationships actually exist, but you also deeply, deeply want to find one for yourself, then this is an event that should be a non-negotiable for you. I'm going to be giving tons of advice in this event, lots of practical wisdom on how to get into a committed relationship. And I've learned so much about this area, not just from teaching it, but also from my own life and the my psychological process that I went through to commit. And I've poured my heart and soul into this event to benefit you so that you can go out there and get the commitment you want. So check it out. It's at Love Life www.training.com. it's completely free. It's going to be an amazing event. And by the way, I'm going to be doing something very special on this event that I've never done before. It's a little bit of a Oprah. You get a car, you get a car, you get a car moment. Not, it's not a car, but it's the same sort of ballpark of exciting. There is going to be a huge benefit to the people that actually show up to this event. So I look forward to seeing you there. Love life training is the link. Go sign up now before you forget. And now let's get on with the episode. Welcome, everybody, to the Love Life Podcast. I am Matthew Hussey. We are here with Audrey Hussie.

Ooh, my God.

Still sounds weird every time I say it. We've added a Hussie. And Cassandra Saiti is here with us today to have a conversation about style and our own personal wardrobe. We have known each other for years now.

Yes.

And I have always known you as the personal stylist. in my life that I have never once benefited from until very recently. I know you style people across the world. I know you've been featured on lots of media and both online media and TV, and you're one of the best at what you do. But I have never actually worked with you until about A month and a half ago when Audrey and I both had the pleasure of getting styled by you for both our wedding and our honeymoon.

Yes, it was great.

It was the most fun. We had such a good time. And it's been like a massive, it's genuinely been a big shift for us in the way that we present ourselves. the way that we enjoy dressing and choosing what to wear. And it's like, you know how Marie Kondo used that phrase, spark joy, you know, when what sparks joy for you in your home? I would say that that style has begun to spark joy for me in my life. And I think it's the same for you, Audrey.

Yeah, for sure.

It's been just a really fun process.

And.

I feel like a couple of years ago, I wouldn't have had a lot of things to ask in this department because I wasn't focused on this department. And now that I've gotten more focused, I thought this has had a profound effect on us. It would be great to take as many different learnings and insights from this experience and from you in the years of doing this. that people at home can apply to themselves, whether or not they ever have a stylist. Everyone is like, very few people in this life are above vanity. And in a sense, vanity is a superficial way of describing why we care, because there is something fundamental that can change in our mindset when we decide to upgrade our wardrobe, whether it's the quality of things we have, whether it's just the consciousness that we go into our style with or just the pride that we take in ourselves. To me, it's very similar to the pride we take in our body when we decide to take care of our body. It's just an extension of that. So I guess my first question to you is, what do you see at a kind of a more meta level as being the big benefit to people of upgrading their wardrobe and their sense of style?

Yeah, great question. I so in my work with clients, I have seen so many incredible transformations throughout my six years of owning Next Level Wardrobe, and it has been so heartwarming to see. And I would say the biggest thing that stands out to me is the confidence level. And you have someone in your corner rooting for you when it comes to your style and how you present yourself to the world saying, Yes, that looks good. And yes, like you look amazing and kind of cheering you on. And when you get that, when you get the education behind great style, It's a winning combination and people's confidence just goes like that. It's incredible to see.

What does that education look like for the everyday person who is just waking up today going, I have really let this part of my life go. We obviously talk to an enormous number of people who want to find love. Part of going out there and finding love is bringing our best to the table, not just in terms of our mindset or our energy, but in terms of the way we present ourselves. So if I'm a person that is going out there today going, I want to upgrade my, my mindset in this area and the way I do it, but I really lack confidence, not just in myself, but in my choices. You know, we've dressed the same way for so long. I got used to, you know, back when I left London over 10 years ago, I was wearing waistcoats and, you know, nice trousers and button-down shirts on every interview and everything I was doing. And then I came to Los Angeles and had no more opportunities to get dressed because I was working from home most of the time. It was sunny outside. It's not like walking through a chilly London where you put on layers and you can dress up easily.

And everybody walks around in their tracksuits every single day.

Yeah, everyone's in sweatpants.

So, you go for like dinner at a Michelin-star restaurant in your sweatpants. I mean, I don't know that that's true, but maybe I'm exaggerating.

But you know what I'm getting at. I think it was kind of summed up by a friend of ours who we just came back from a month in Japan and he lives in LA and he said, you know, some restaurants wouldn't let me in in Japan because I was wearing sneakers all the time. And I thought, and he said I was like very dressed down and wearing a cap and stuff like that. And I was like, oh yeah, you've been in LA so long that you that for you, this is just your uniform at this stage. And I. I really enjoyed that because I enjoy being really comfortable, but it then got to a point where I was like, oh, my God, I've now probably been doing this for years.

Right.

And I think in that time, I lost a little confidence in, like, well, what do I even. I don't even know what to go and choose. And I know Audrey had a similar experience of. you know, we would try to go shopping and you'd be like, I don't know what I like, or I don't know what if I'm gonna step outside my comfort zone, I don't know what to buy. So what do you think about that? Like, when. When people have feel like, I don't even know what good style is. There's a so much information out there. I'm drowning in it. I don't. You know, I read these. I look at these magazines, and it's all, like, high fashion nonsense that I'm not gonna do for myself because. I just, it wouldn't feel right for me. Where do people even start with getting better style?

Yeah, good question. And when I think back to all the hundreds of conversations that I've had with people, I would say that's one of the top three challenges that people have is the feeling of overwhelm. They just don't know where to start, who to trust, where to buy from, what to buy, and then it's, in action at the end of the day. So I would say the first thing is to view clothing as a tool in your toolbox. And, you know, some people will say, oh, it's just a pair of jeans, or, oh, it's just like how you dress. It doesn't matter. Well, if that's true, then why are there so many negative emotions around clothing?

Right?

Why do you feel overwhelmed and don't do anything? Why do you buy the wrong things? Why do you feel frustrated when you can't get the right I think if you start to reframe a little and say, Hey, clothing and style is a tool that I have in my toolbox so I can feel confident every day. It's really powerful. And then you combine the tactics, right? A lot of style is actually mindset.

Can you explain that to me?

Yeah. So in my work with clients, I, yes, we focus on the tactics and stuff and doing the closet edit and shopping, but I have noticed that a lot of people have a lot of style rules for themselves. And style is kind of like a language that you that you learn growing up, right? And then you form these rules and then you're like, oh, it has to be this way. So if you approach it as, okay, it's a it's a skill I have to learn. It's a language and it's going to evolve and change as I do as an individual too. Like you should not be wearing the same things that you were wearing when you were 20. You're in a different phase of life. You're married now. And so your style should evolve as you do. And I think once you get those reframes, then it's really powerful, super powerful.

While you're here, I wanted to share something with you. I am going to be working with an exclusive group of people in 2024 in person for six days on my live retreat. It's going to be in September. It's going to be in Florida. It's going to be an incredible event for anyone who wants to do the deeper work of what's holding them back in love. and in their life. Come join us by going to mhrRetreat.com and I'll tell you all about it. I think one of the things I've been like, what's been interesting to me is I, firstly, I had ideas in my head from growing up about what goes with what. Like, I always remember growing up being told, you don't wear brown and black together.

I was told that all dark blue and black.

Yes.

Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was like a thing that you didn't do.

That's false. false and false.

Right. So I grew up with that. So when I saw you putting colors like that together, I was like, does that go?

Yeah, I remember that.

Right. Is it? And, you know, it, it. One of the things that was clear to me is you, it's kind of like anything else where there are certain basic tenets that are quite valuable to know. And one of the things that helped me was just even, like, going on the websites of the places we went to and just seeing how they style their stuff because I would be like, oh, those colors can go together. I would never have put those colors together. And I'd realized like my whole life...

Has been a lie. It's like when your parents tell you that... Did your parents tell you this? My parents told me that it was illegal to turn on the lights in the back while they're driving in the car. Oh, I got that.

My parents told me that. They said, yeah, they said, you're not allowed to do that. I still feel like it's illegal.

Yeah, it really is illegal, isn't it? It's not illegal, though.

It's a lie.

It's a lie that our parents told us.

James, is that illegal?

Did they really?

Really?

I've never heard of that.

Yeah.

Wow.

We'll Cass you irresponsible parents.

But it's a bit like that, right? Were you given any rules, Cass? You were allowed to wear brown with black, you were allowed to put the light on in the middle of the.

Car while it was driving.

Oh my God.

Just raised in the wild. Anyway, sorry to distract, but I thought it was similar.

When I start to think about it, I watched you in action when you were styling us and you were like, oh, that actually looks pretty good with that. And I almost thought, like sometimes you were surprised yourself to be like, oh, that's interesting. Yeah, I would maybe go with that. And I realized it's kind of like anything else. Once you know certain rules, you can then improvise and break certain rules because you have a confidence in what you're doing. And I see that with celebrities all the time where I'm like, they're wearing things and doing things that. And a magazine will be like, this is really cool because. And I can guarantee there would be somewhere else or some other time where they would be like, this is terrible because, like, there's a sense in which there are rules, and there's also a lot of making it up as you go along.

Yes.

Which could make it all sound like a farce. And in some ways I feel like fashion is because it's like, it's people with a lot of confidence telling the rest of us what looks good. And then the rest of us, and then that we go, okay. And that becomes style. Yeah. Right. It has to come from somewhere. It starts from a few confident people or a few thought leaders in that area going, no, no, no, this is the thing now. And then we all go, okay, this is the thing now. So I feel like there is a kind of, it's not even a criticism. I think it's just an observation that there is a kind of farcical element to it in a way. But at the same time, it's a little bit like, I don't know, I don't want to get too heady, but it's like jazz, right? You need to know how to play certain chords and you need, but once you've got that, you then can improvise because you know the basics.

You can freestyle.

That's a great analogy. Yeah, absolutely. And I would say that, yes, style is a skill. It's a language. And when I, so I always do closet edits and when I work with clients, and they're very important because great style begins and ends. with what is in a closet. And a closet tells me a lot about the person. What have your buying patterns been? What do you like to wear? What don't you like to wear? And in the closet, I can tell, you know, have they been putting effort towards this skill? Do they really want to develop it? Because if not, the closet is bursting at the seams. There's stuff with tags on it still. And so, great sale always begins with the closet. And it's really important to remember that because The fashion magazines will say, you need to buy this and you need to do this and wear this. But actually, if you get down to the basics, the basics is great style begins and ends with what is in your closet.

When you say someone's closet is bursting at the seams, what are the top mindsets or tips that someone should go into editing their closet with? When they're trying to dump half their closet, Yeah. What are the rules for what to dump and what not to dump?

Yes. So there's a lot of rules you can follow. I would say the top one though is you have to think of your closet as a special place, right? A lot of people kind of dismiss the closet. They'll have wire hangers or plastic from dry cleaning, old stuff just hanging out in there. And I really believe that if you treat your closet with respect, expect, then it can help you in this transformation. So, for example, if you have plastic bags from dry cleaning, take it off. If you have tags, take it off, right? When you do an edit, if anything is old or worn or you open it or you hold it up and you're like, this is not me, or I was in this different phase of life when I was wearing this, goodbye. It's going to be with someone else now and make them happy. Because when you edit, your closet, I truly, truly believe that you are kind of showing the universe that you are ready for the transformation. And it's really hard to have that if you have all this baggage in your closet.

What if people are coming at it from a kind of frugal place where they're like, oh, I don't want to get rid of that because I might need it or I might not have the money to get new stuff. So, you know, how do I balance that out? What do you say to people who have stuffed closets?

Yeah.

But feel like they haven't got much disposable income or any and are therefore afraid to throw things out or to donate them.

Yeah, I would say that you can still get strategic about your closet, no matter the price point that you're working with. So if you go into your closet, everyone kind of knows those items that you are not wearing, that you don't really like that don't fit. So even if you put them to the side or put them in another place, in your home so they're not in your day-to-day closet. That's a very powerful move, right? You don't have to donate them right away, but maybe in six months time or three months time, you revisit and you're like, do I like it? Is it me? Does it fit? And if it does, do I miss it?

Yeah, do I miss it? Yeah. Did I even notice that it wasn't.

There for the last six months? Yeah. And most of the time, I instruct my clients to do this, especially if they're going through body changes and stuff. And most of the time, They do not remember that one piece that they were agonizing over. It's kind of like a safety blanket in a way. So when you just put it to the side, it's powerful.

If something is perfectly good, like it's not a bad piece of clothing, it's not un-stylish, but you just never seem to put it on. Like, I've got things still in my wardrobe that I realize, you kept them because you were like, well, this is fine. There's nothing wrong with this, and it could fit with your style. But I never reach for it. Is that something that ultimately should go or should it be kept for a time where I might start to revisit it?

So my question is, why haven't you worn it?

I don't know. It doesn't give me a good feeling. It doesn't make-- It doesn't like make me-- Like the stuff we bought together, I now get excited about. I look forward to wearing it.

He gets so excited, by the way. that the other day we like, we cleaned everything and before basically like hung it up in the wardrobe and because he didn't have time before an interview to pick out the perfect outfit, he ended up wearing what he was wearing the day before because he was like, I just, I just need to make the right choice. And I just, I feel rushed in making that decision because he likes it so much. I want to enjoy it. Yeah, exactly. And you didn't want to rush making that decision.

I'm the same way with food. I'm like, I don't want to eat now if I'm not going to like really order the best thing and enjoy it. I want to save it for another two. I'll go hungry for another three hours so that I can really enjoy my meal. It was this. It was kind of the same mindset. It was so I. Yeah, there's stuff that I just. You know how, like, certain objects, like, they. There's like a. There's like a. I don't mean this literally, but there's, like, a smell that just wears off.

Yeah, there's a pull to them.

They don't know. They're like, it's fade. There's some attraction to them that's faded. You don't feel it anymore. It's like they've lost their glow. and you don't know if they'll ever get it back again. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Like the things we got together have a glow to me.

Okay.

And they're like, they ask to be worn. And then there's these other things that I know are perfectly, they're perfectly fine. They're probably some version of something I would end up buying a year from now, but I just don't feel it anymore. It doesn't spark joy. What do you do with those things?

Well, I think, first of all, I think it's awesome that you were open to the transformation. You did welcome these new things into your closet.

Right?

Now the fun part is for you that you get to have fun with your style and explore what you like to wear, what you don't like to wear, what colors are you into, et cetera. So if anything in your closet does not spark joy, make you excited, I would donate it. It's time to move on because again, going back, your closet is a very special place and we're treating it with respect now.

It is. and life's too short.

Yes.

To wear this, you know, t-shirt this.

Perfectly fine t-shirt that I've never worn.

That's too short. One of the things that I got from you was the importance of fit and actually having things taken in or having things hemmed like trousers. I don't think I ever got a pair of trousers hemmed in my life.

Yeah.

Because I just was so instant gratification. If I buy something, I want to take it home now and enjoy it. The idea of, like, I just got something I'm excited about, and now I'm gonna get it hemmed because the trouser doesn't necessarily. The length doesn't fit as well.

And did you feel like it had to fit you off the rack, too?

I felt like, yes. Oh, for sure. I felt like it's. If it doesn't fit me off the rack, then what's the point? That was a big. kind of paradigm shift for me, the idea of actually getting things fitted properly. I suppose firstly, I'd love for you to talk a little bit about that.

Yeah.

And then I have a follow-up question.

Okay, great. Well, as we saw with your experience and even your experience, fit is so important. It literally can take a garment that looks 25% good to 110% good. It's that important. And so I think there's this, there's this rule out there that clothing should fit you off the rack, right? I believed it for a long time, and I worked in the fashion industry. And what I like to educate people on is that it's actually not meant to fit you. We all have different shapes and sizes and body types, and that's okay. But that's when we hire a very talented tailor to easily take up the hem or take up a sleeve. and it looks so much better. I mean, you saw it with your suiting, especially for the wedding.

Yes, yes. Huge, huge.

And actually that doesn't cost that much money because when I discovered through you hemming things and kind of having things taken in, I went on a bit of like a crazy rampage and kind of went through my wardrobe and just basically like took up all my jeans and did all these different things. And actually you can find a really reasonable tailor that just transforms a pair of trousers you never wear because they're too long and they just don't look good into something you wear all the time. So it's a really good tip, I think, for sprucing up your wardrobe like we were talking about earlier. Like in order to, instead of going out and buying that new pair of jeans, can you try and have things kind of taken in so that they fit you again?

And it's like new, right? So there may be something in the closet that may be oversized or the hem is too long. But the simple act of taking it to a tailor and getting a very simple alteration of getting the hem, shortening the hem, super easy and it looks so much better. And then you keep it for a long time and you wear it for years too.

When you're doing that, how do you decide what shape of your body are you gonna have it fitted to? Because before our wedding, I was very... I was the slimmest I've been in a long time. And I had a whole bunch of trousers fitted to that Matthew. And we then went to Italy for a week for our wedding, and there was a lot of pizza and pasta. And then we went to Japan, and there was just a lot of everything.

Yes.

And we were there for a month. So we ate badly for a whole month. And I've come back, and I told you, I was on stage with Nicole Apura for her book event, and I. I remember I put on the suit, and I thought, there's a possibility that when I sit down in this suit, that my waist, like my pants, explode.

Did it?

No, but it distracted me a little bit.

Yeah, yeah.

Because I was like, this button could take out someone's eye in the audience. Like, I really thought this is... I don't know. I'm really having to suck in here. And it was because I tailored them for myself like a month and a bit before. Now, that was good motivation to be like, okay, let's get back to the gym.

Yes.

I suppose what you should you get stuff fitted for? Should you get it fitted for the average you or for the best body you? Or should you have things of different sizes so that you can ride up and down the scales when you need to? Yeah. Like, what should you do?

I think so. I listen, bodies change. It's very normal. And I wish people were a bit more gentle with themselves when it comes to their style because style is a reflection of your confidence of your body and body changes are normal. I would say like 90% of my clients have had body changes, super normal, but it's important to have your style work with you, not against you. So if you are fluctuating in weights and sizes like I've gained 20 pounds this year, I have different sizes in my wardrobe. And so some are in my day-to-day wardrobe, some are in another wardrobe, and I cycle them in and out, and it just kind of makes it more normal versus trying to squeeze into a pair of pants that's too tight or a jacket that's too tight. You want to feel comfortable in your clothing.

Is that an argument for not going out? Like when you're, when you hit, like, because a lot of people have this mindset, I'm going to hit My ideal shape, my ideal weight, and then I'm gonna go and get a new wardrobe. Would you be a proponent for maybe spreading your purchases out a little bit more so that you don't have an entire new wardrobe that you've spent a fortune on that suits you only in one body shape that you have?

Yeah, absolutely. So what I see a lot is people will go shopping, but they won't have a plan. So they'll get distracted by sales or promotions and they'll buy, buy, buy in hopes that it will fix that they don't have outfits to where they don't feel good when if they had a plan from the beginning, like, I'm gonna, I need a new black pair of trousers. That's why I'm gonna buy today. They're focused on that and they do it. That makes your purchasing so much more confident versus like being distracted and stuff, and ending up with a closet that you don't even really like. either. So if you write down your list, I need trousers, I need tops, I need knits, then you have that list and you're so much more focused about what to buy, what colors you need, and you get more strategic and therefore more confident in your style.

It also prevents you from, because those shop, those retail assistants, they are like good at what they do.

Oh, they are.

You get in there and they're like, you look great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Even though it doesn't fit you, and it's like, two sizes too small, too big, and you're like, does it look good? Yeah, you just really pull it off. You're great in this oversized XXL pair of trousers that aren't fitting you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You come out with all these bags and you're like, you're based on everything you've bought, you're like four different people.

Yeah, exactly.

Because they've just somehow managed to get you to buy, you know, half of the things in there. And you're right, you didn't, because you didn't have a plan. You just, had someone telling you you looked amazing in everything that you put on.

Yeah, and of course if you don't have the style skills yet or the language and you go into a store and the retail assistant is like, you look incredible. Who doesn't like to be complimented, right? And you're like, yeah, I'm gonna take that. But that's why I say great style begins and ends with what is in your closet, right? If you knew what you had, what was in there, if you knew your plan, then you could confidently walk in there and be like, no, I only need a black pair of trousers today. That's what I'm looking for.

That's so relatable, what you just said. I really, really relate to the feeling of, I need new clothes. Me and my friends always used to have this joke, which was, you know, we would go out and be like, Let's wear jeans and a nice top. A nice top was like the joke because we were like, We never have any nice tops. We can never find anything to wear with our pair of jeans. And so we would go out and try and find nice tops, but like how vague is that? You know, you don't even know what color, what style, what fit, anything. And so you end up, as you say, coming home with something that doesn't even fit the pair of jeans or doesn't go with the pair of jeans that you had planned to wear it with. So you don't wear that outfit, you wear a dress and then you never wear that top again. And it's just that is so relatable to me.

So having a plan, I find that so difficult. And then you know what happens when you don't wear it. you feel bad about it because you see it in your closet, has a tag on it, you see it in there hanging, and maybe once in a while you'll attempt to put an outfit together, right? But just doesn't feel right.

Doesn't look good.

And it's a never-ending cycle. And so you end that cycle by basically editing your closet and having a plan, too.

We should talk about when you came in and did a closet edit for us.

I love closets. I could talk about closets. all day. I love them.

We dumped so much stuff. I should say we donated it because we did, but it was just the pile of things that. And I think part of what was hard about that was that there were things that I had spent money on that.

Yeah.

You know, I was like, this is crazy. I can't. This is actually, like, I've got lots and lots of cheap items from over the years, but I was like, some of the things that I'm donating, the things that I actually spent money on that. you know, at the time, I thought it was a good idea. Maybe I didn't even wear it that much after I bought it. Someone told me it looked really great in the shop. Yeah.

And.

And to then get rid of those things felt like the most unnatural thing in the world because it was like, I can't psychologically part ways with this because I actually spent money on it.

Yeah.

But those, again, it was, like, strangely liberating to be like, yeah, but it doesn't. It doesn't make me feel good. It doesn't. Yeah, it's not. It doesn't excite me. I'm never wearing it. It's just taking up space. And I'm a minimalist at heart. So is Audrey. So we, anything that feels kind of minimalist, we really enjoy and we feel better and our mind feels clear and it, anything that feels cluttered feels like something we just want to avoid. And it's kind of like you say, your closet's a big part of your life because you go in there multiple times a day, every day. If that's something you just feel like avoiding, that's not a good thing.

Yeah, it's a problem. Yeah. And usually people go to their closet at start of their day too, right? So if you're feeling overwhelmed and frustrated and bored and all the negative emotions I typically hear about style and closets, that's how you start out your day.

One of the things you said that stuck with me was it's okay to have space in your closet.

Yes.

Yeah.

How do you feel about that now?

I want to create more of it.

Yeah.

All your stuff is on my side.

That's because I'm clearing stuff out and I needed somewhere to put it. Just until the weekend. I told you, I need until Saturday. So it's unreasonable for you to be bringing this up right now. It's disingenuous. As you know, if you were saying to people, pick five, if there were five things that you could have in your closet and nothing else that you know would be like, you can build everything out of these five things or these are the five things you're going to need, excluding underwear and socks. Yep. Like these are things you're gonna need over and over and over again. What would you, let's take women. What would you say to women are the five things that you should have?

Okay, first thing, t-shirts. Great fitting t-shirts. So not gym shirts, not sleep shirts, like actual nice shirts you can put on if you're going out to dinner or into work. So number one, colors.

Like what?

So, you know, I'm big on my system, the NLW style system, which is a styling framework that focuses on the, the layers of a closet. So black, gray, white and navy, because you're gonna get the most outfits out of those.

Okay, so don't go. So if you've, if you're rebuilding your wardrobe right now, don't go out and.

Buy a green t-shirt no, don't buy a green one because you basically want the most bang for your.

Right?

And you're gonna get that with those four colors. Now, that's not to say, oh, if I like pink or like to wear colors, I can't buy those. You can, you just need to invest in those four colors first. Okay? That should be your foundation.

Yes. Okay, so t-shirts.

Number one. Number one, I would say sweaters. So lightweight sweaters. So here in LA, we can't wear super heavy sweaters. So a nice sweater is really good.

I would say, like, is a sweater the, like, when you say sweater, do you mean like a knit sweater or do you mean, you know, the kinds of sweaters that we'd buy a concert? Oh, like a sweatshirt.

Like a merch.

Yeah. So sweatshirt is what you call that. Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

So sweater, you mean something above. A little more polished.

Right.

Okay.

Yeah.

A little more polished.

Like a knitted.

Yeah. Yeah.

And then the next thing is again.

Say it's the same. Stay within those colors.

Yes. Okay. Same colors. All right. Great. Number three, a great pair of jeans.

What color?

Any of those core colors.

Black, gray, white, navy.

Which one of you are only going to get two? Blue. Blue. And then you want to do one dark and one light.

So you have maximum versatility. One dark blue, one light blue.

Yes.

Done.

Okay. Okay. All right. That was number three. Yep. Number four. I would do a great pair of trousers that are not denim. so, like what Audrey has on today, those look great because they look a little more elevated from a pair of jeans. And so they're appropriate if you're going out to dinner or you're traveling, but she can still wear them as she works from home.

And actually, the reason I bought these is because you inspired me and gave me permission to buy trousers that were not just skinny jeans, which is what I always used to wear. I just used to wear Jogging bottoms and skinny jeans. And you kind of said, actually, you can wear real trousers. And because we bought a couple of pairs together, I was like, oh, these look really good on me and I feel really good in them. And then I was able, it was almost, the way I see it is like your mind expands and you give yourself permission to try something new.

Yes.

Whereas I think we get so stuck in the way that we kind of think about our style. And that's what for me, you know, that was one of the huge things. It was just giving me permission to try different styles, which was amazing.

Oh, I'm so happy to hear.

Yeah.

And you look great in them.

Thank you, too.

Really good.

So trousers was number four.

Yes.

Was it number four? Yeah, I think it was.

Number five is a layering piece. So a layering piece could be a cardigan, it could be a blazer, it could be anything of the sorts where if you have your t-shirt on, you're putting something over it. to elevate it. And this is especially good if you work from home because maybe you have a Zoom call you want to be casual for, but then you're meeting someone for lunch, so you want to look a little more formal. You just pop it on, go. Done.

And again, one of those four colors.

Yes.

What did you say? Black, navy, gray or white.

Yes. How?

Because I was really uncomfortable initially doing, like, a monochromatic Mm-. Type look where you have different shades of the same color or the same shades of the same color and so on. So I always felt safe contrasting colors. Like, I knew I can't go wrong if I put a white with a gray. I can't go wrong if I put a, you know, a blue shirt with a dark jean. But whenever I, I just couldn't wrap my head around being confident enough to layer clothes that had similar colors or the same color. So what are, are there any rules when it comes to that? Like, can you wear all the same color or if it's the same color, do they need to be different textures or do they need to be slightly different shades of the same color? Like, are there any rules when it comes to having different shades of the same thing or a completely monochromatic look?

Yeah, I would say so you can pick one color. Like, you're a good example today. So you're wearing Navy today, but you're going light to dark. So that's kind of an easy thing to remember. You also want to play with texture. So, like, your top is. It has some fine texture to it compared to the pants. So texture is kind of the key to elevate it and make it look interesting, because a lot of people will. say, I'm going to wear black, and they'll wear kind of the same color of black. It doesn't have no character to it. It kind of looks flat. And so when you integrate that texture, it really makes it come alive. And so that's why when we went shopping, I was like, okay, what texture can I bring into the fitting room to kind of elevate that outfit?

Interesting.

Yeah, I love that. I have a question.

Can I just ask one question quickly about the monochromatic?

No, you may not.

Yeah.

I just because I, like, okay, some of the stuff we got for me. Yeah. Is torp.

Yeah.

Torp.

Yeah.

Torp. How do you say it's a French word, I think.

Top.

Top. So I. Oh, is it French?

I don't know.

Yeah, I think it's the French word for mole. Is that right? Top. I'm gonna look this up. I think it might be the French word for mole because the word top. top comes from the color of a mole, I think.

Oh, I've never heard this before.

Yeah, I think in top.

How do I not remember this? This is when I really.

It does, doesn't it?

Yeah.

Look at that little mole.

I know.

It's so cute.

Yeah.

Because I think that's the color of a mole.

Let's edit this bit out and just have. No, it will be known that my.

French is better than Audrey's. Who is French?

No, no, no. We're gonna edit this out.

Definitely we're not. We're gonna cut this clip and put it online as just a single clip. If you're gonna wear top, can you wear... Do you have to wear different shades of it? Or could you literally wear like the same trousers in the same color top?

It depends. See, this is where there's kind of like an art and a science. to style. It's a language, right? And so if you were wearing it to a formal event, maybe you could wear it all from head to toe. Maybe you're wearing it to a casual event and maybe you want to spice it up a little and go light to dark. So there's kind of like a nuance to style that you have to keep in mind and we can talk about it more. I want to see the outfits you're referring to.

Can you wear a blazer that doesn't go with those trousers? Like if you have a suit trouser, you can wear a different blazer that's not designed to go with those suit trousers.

Definitely. All right.

Audrey, you had a question, please.

I do. I have a question. I think so this is something that.

If you'd like me to ask it in French for you, I will.

But that's not going to make any sense because we edited that bit. So my question is, I think something that's very common for people is, you know, giving in to comparison. So, you know, you go on Instagram, right? And there's like a beautiful, probably AI generated woman who's wearing an amazing dress and you're like, I want to look like that. So you order the dress and it comes and you don't feel like you look anything like the person who advertised it. And as a result, I think it's very difficult for people to almost not get tempted to try and recreate and replicate, I should say, styles that they see online that aren't necessarily styles that will suit them. And I'm speaking from experience of this. And so how do you kind of not give in and what do you do about this kind of comparison and how do you know what your style is and stay in your lane of the style that's actually gonna make you feel good?

Yeah, good question. I get this a lot because I think for women there's a lot of pressure to define your style.

Yes.

Like it's something us women talk about. You see it in the magazines, you see it on Instagram. What is your style? Right? And for me personally, I'm like, I want to be who I want to be when I want to be that person. And so I think one, you have to be very careful about who you follow on Instagram. So I think at the same time you do a closet edit, you're doing an edit of the Instagram accounts.

I love that.

That you follow. It's really important, right? Who you're learning from.

And if you get ads, you mute them.

Yeah.

That's what I do. I mute ads that don't make me feel good. Yeah. Oh, that's great. I go, Not interested, Instagram.

Thank you very much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the second thing I would say is, again, to get the system in place. Because with a system, you have those routines and we're all gonna fall off track. We may see an ad or we may see a magazine, we're tempted, right? But when you have a system in place, you can fall back on it. Like if you get off track and you're like, okay, here's the goal, here's what I need to do, here's what I need to buy. and it makes you that much more confident as well.

I like the five things that you gave and the colours to stick within because that in itself is a system.

Yes.

I feel like someone could leave this episode of the podcast and go, I'm going to see which of those five things I actually have in my wardrobe.

Yes.

And do I have anything in each of those categories that does bring me joy, that does excite me?

Yeah.

And if not, those are the first things on my list and I'm going to get them in those colours and that creates what I know people in your profession call a capsule wardrobe, right?

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And so, yeah, when you have the system in place, you can buy confidently. You can wear whatever you want, whenever you want to, right? Maybe some days you want to be boho or girly or whatever it is. You have the elements in your closet to put outfits together and you just feel so much more like confident day to day because you know what your style is and you know what you're spending your money on.

What if you're. You have the experience that I think Audrey and I quite regularly have in La, which is the kind of all dressed up and nowhere to go feeling. Like we work from home. Our outing on a lot of days is just the coffee shop. That's a three minute walk from the house. and then we come back home 20 minutes later and the rest of the day we're at home. So how, what do you say to, and of course, more people will be experiencing this than ever because more people are remote working than ever. So there is this, it feels like there's this tension between, if I had somewhere to go, I'd enjoy getting dressed, but I feel like I don't and therefore it feels like there's never any reason to, and because there's never any reason to, I spend my life in sweatpants just because it feels like that's what's appropriate for me being around the house. What do you say to that? Because I feel like that's. I've had that feeling many times where I'm like, I really want to put on a nice outfit. I'm not going anywhere.

Like, it.

Do I just wear one around the house and just enjoy it and feel good around the house? Do I just do it for me? Like what? I'm so curious as to what you're going to say about this.

Yeah.

So.

With style, there's kind of two avenues in terms of where you are presenting yourself to, right? There's an external world, your coworkers, your partner, your colleagues, whatever that looks like. But then there's also the internal. And I don't think many people talk about this enough where it's like, I want to dress up because I want to dress up. because it makes me feel good. It makes me feel confident. And maybe that doesn't look like five days a week you're dressing up for work from home, but maybe it's three days out of the week or two days out of the week and taking baby steps into it. I know for myself in the pandemic, I did force myself to kind of dress up. Um, and I did notice that just kind of my productivity throughout the day was better. I felt better. If I had to run out and do an errand, I could, and I didn't have to change 50 times, right? It was just kind of easy, and it's a nice thing to do for yourself.

Yeah, there's something ritualistic about it. That feeling of you shower, you groom, you get ready. The act of getting ready. There's something about that. When you lose that, you lose something from your day. I mean, anyone who's ever been on a night out with friends knows one of the most fun parts is just getting ready. Right.

For sure. It's like, oh yeah.

That's the fun part.

It's like R&B playing.

Yeah. The drink in the hand.

Yeah, absolutely. The pictures on the digital camera that you take out to the club. Oh my God. Good times.

But there's something ritualistic about it.

Yes.

And I think that when we're not, when we're at home a lot, especially those of us who work from home, we are We're missing that ritual without realizing that we're missing that ritual.

Yes.

And it's in some subtle way affecting our mindset.

Absolutely.

You know, I've heard Guy Richie, I think it was said this, that for him it really is like he wears a suit a lot. And for him, he was like, My suit, it really is like my armor for the day. You know, it really is like that's what I put on to go and be ready. For the day. And I really understand that feeling that I feel ready for the day in a different way by taking that time to do that. Even if it is, you know, I think one of the hurdles I've had to get over is it might just be for me. I might not see anyone today, but there's still something about it for me.

Yes.

That makes a difference. And I think add into that if people need a reason, add into that the fact that probably a lot of us working from home are doing Zoom calls. And, you know, I, this is an interesting area because for me, you know, running a company, I would, I would have nowhere to go but home. And, you know, I, I like training and I do Jiu Jitsu, and so a lot of the time I'm coming from that and throwing something on and and it's very easy just to slip into something comfortable because you're like, I've got 10 minutes till I have to do a meeting and so on. But I think that there's almost a, like, I've started. And maybe I'm just getting older, and so I'm just getting a bit stuffier in certain ways. I don't know. But I've started to feel like it's disrespectful to the meeting showing up in something. that just isn't that that doesn't feel smart, that doesn't. I'm not saying it has to be formal, but that just feels sloppy. It feels like I'm. I'm even setting the wrong tone for my stuff, right? Because I'm showing up in some, like, baggy hoodie and with my hair all over the place, and it feels like I'm now setting that tone for everyone else, too. And there's something to me about. showing up dressed to even a Zoom meeting that makes me feel like I'm actually ready for business. I'm taking this call seriously. So even that I feel like is super, it can be important. I don't want to say it's important for everyone because some days I want to be like, you know, Mark Zuckerberg in the social network where he's just like showing up to the boardroom in a hoodie and sandals and he's like, I can do this. You know, like, I think it's hard to know which person you want to be in life.

Yeah.

I really think this goes to the heart of what you do because you don't always know who you want to be in life. Sometimes you're like, I really want to be that guy who doesn't care and enjoy not caring. And then other days I feel like, no, wait, no, I really want to care. It's respectful, it's professional. It makes me show up differently. And sometimes I think there's a battle between those two guys. What do you say about that battle that goes on internally for a lot of people?

I think it's very common. because if you aren't going into an office or if you don't have a dinner on your calendar, it's like, why should I?

Right?

Like, why should I put in the effort and all this stuff? But like I said, I think it's for you. And I think when you kind of reposition it in that way where it's like, it's something nice I'm doing for myself, right? It's kind of like making your own coffee in the morning or these rituals that we all have in some way in the morning or throughout our day. and getting ready is one of those. And I think when you kind of reframe it in that way, it makes it like, oh, this is something I enjoy to do, and it's great to enjoy stuff.

What do you say to that? I know certain YouTubers who are kind of devoted to the minimalist lifestyle who have, like, three pairs of the exact same pants and like, 10 black t-shirts that they rotate, and it's like they're like cartoon character that never changes clothes. It's like, this is my uniform. I wear it all the time. It means I am reducing my decision making to essentially zero every single day.

Yeah.

And that to them fits with the minimalist idea.

Yes.

I. That some part of that speaks to my heart because I like that reduction of activation energy for getting dressed. and just being able to go and put that on every day. What do you think of that as someone who it almost seems antithetical to what you do? I'm just curious as to what you make of that kind of lifestyle when it comes to clothes.

You know, I like it because they have developed their own system.

Right?

And I think great style is about a system. And so if their system is let me just buy the same pant three times over, great. And it works for them, right? And so I can see how it cuts down the decision fatigue and all this stuff. And so they've really focused on this is what I need and that's it. Um, they don't, it, to me, it doesn't seem like they enjoy style, right? They don't really want to learn about it or anything. And that's okay, too. But most of my clients, and I think both of you like are interested in learning more like about fits and textures and all this stuff.

Yeah, well, I think I almost see it as equating to the way, you know, some people just aren't that interested in food.

Yeah.

They will just be, I eat the same thing every day because I just don't care. It's just fuel to me. I can't relate to that person. Some people don't like music. They're just like, yeah, I just not that I don't really care. I don't feel that much when I listen to music. I don't care. Like, there are people that just don't. The flavor of things or the richness of things, it doesn't speak to them in a certain part of life. And so I think that's what you're speaking to, is that it just doesn't. For me, I like, I do. I go through whole phases of not caring, and. And then when someone like you comes along and gets me passionate about it again, I'm like, oh, I really do like the flavor of. of clothes. And, you know, I like trying different things and it's fun, but it's, I'm wondering if you think those people lose out on something or they, even if they don't enjoy it, do you think there's any outward component of like it, it not hurts them in any way, but do you feel like there's, in some way it reduces their impact in life not to have more variety?

Yeah, I think it's interesting you bring that up because I view all of us, whether we own our own business or not, like we are selling ourselves at the end of the day, right? Like you are your personal brand, you are, I am. And so I think if you think about it that way, it's like, okay, what do you want your personal brand to be when people look at you? What do you want them to think about if they're going out on dates, right? That could be important as well. And so I don't know if they, they think they're necessarily losing out, but for myself, I can say like I want to style is a tool that I'm using in my toolbox and I want to use it to my advantage.

Hey guys, before we continue with the episode, I want us to do something together that I promise is going to help you in your love life massively. Open up a browser right now. I have mine open in front of me. Type in dating www.withresults.com I'm typing it in as I'm saying this, oh no, I spelled it wrong. Hang on, here we go, www.withresults.com When you get there, you're going to get the chance to sign up for a one hour training that I've put together that is designed to exponentially speed up how fast you find the love that you're looking for. You can select a time, that you want to watch the session. You'll have multiple options and you can be watching it today is an amazing training is completely free. It talks about the biggest mistakes people make when they're trying to find love, the framework that can take you from being single to a committed relationship, the four stages of importance in a relationship, how to stop ignoring your needs as you obsess over someone who doesn't give you the attention you deserve. why you need to rewrite the narrative around your love life and how to rewire your brain to stop chasing and start attracting quality people. To save your spot, just go to datingwithresults.com you should already be there and put in your information right now. Enjoy the session today. Send me an email podcast@matthewhussy.com and let me know what you think of the training. I can't wait to hear your feedback. And now back to the episode.

You know, it's so interesting you mentioned that because that was going to be my next question to you because there's going to be so many people listening who are dating and they're going on multiple dates a week or, you know, multiple dates a month. And they're going to have the experience that we've all had where you're literally looking at a wardrobe full of clothes with nothing to wear and you look look rubbish and everything, and you just literally feel despair every time you have to dress for anything. So do you have any advice for people in terms of how to, you know, how to feel good and feel sexy and feel confident in clothes that they're wearing for dating?

Yeah. Yeah. Great question. I would say it all comes back to a system, right? Because when I was dating, you know, you you're leading up to this moment and you're, you want to look your best and feel your best too. But if you go to your closet and you don't have the right pieces, you feel anxious, you don't feel confident. But on the other side, if you had a system, if you invested in the right pieces, had the right colors, you could easily put an outfit together. So in my opinion, 99% of people should be focusing on that because it bleeds into so many areas of your life. And also, don't forget accessories. to like makeup, jewelry, bags, shoes. Those are fun ways to kind of elevate a look too.

And what about if you feel like your body, you know, we spoke a little bit earlier about your body changing. And I know there's a lot of people who don't feel confident in their bodies. You know, maybe they are a few kilos more than they wish they were, you know, whatever it might be. How do you combat that in terms of if you feel like you want to feel sexy and attractive, but you don't feel like clothes really fit you and make you look that way?

Yeah. Yeah. I would say that's very common with the clients that we work with. And so it's just about getting creative around it.

Right.

Because it's not only about the clothes, it's how you carry yourself. It's what you say. There's also accessories and makeup and hairstyles that you can kind of experiment with. So I would say if you have the system in place, that kind of eases that anxiety. But if you wanted to up it a little bit, you could play with Maybe instead of showing legs, you show a collarbone or you show your arms, right? There's other ways to kind of be sexy without being traditionally sexy and showing more than maybe you wanted to. So you can play with that. Yeah.

What are the things people should, if they're gonna spend more money on something, what should they be happy to buy cheap? and what should you not buy cheap?

So in my opinion, anything that's fashion forward, trend driven, buy cheap, go a lower price point because it's basically going to come in and out of your wardrobe. You're going to probably lose interest in about six months. So buy cheap those investment pieces like the white t-shirt or the navy pant. That's where you want to invest more because you can create more outfits out of them and they're going to live with you for longer.

Yeah, that idea of cost per wear.

Yes.

I think of all the time.

Yes.

Because anytime I'm like, oh, I'm probably going to wear this like a hundred times or 500 times or, you know, over the next five years, it, I think we can have a tendency to be kind of short-sighted about those things and not go, well, this is worth it because I am going to be wearing this for a long time, or this is the kind of thing I'm going to be wearing every as long as it's not the kind of thing that you'll wear every day and it will wear out in a month. In which case, I always find those things that bugs me to spend a ton of money on.

Yes, of course.

Because the stuff that just, you know, naturally just gets beat up and you're like, I can't wear it anymore. But yeah, I think cost per wear has been a game changer for me in terms of deciding what to spend money on.

Yeah, absolutely. And it makes it more approachable too, because sometimes it can be really nervous to spend money on clothing, right? You don't want to ruin it. You want to last a long time. But when you break it down into, okay, if I wear this 10 times this year or 20 times, then it makes it a little more approachable, but also goes back again to the system because you need pieces to wear that piece with. So you have to make sure that you have all these pieces working together.

Yeah, there's nothing worse than buying like a really expensive item and then realizing it doesn't go with anything that you own.

Yeah, I have one of those in my wardrobe.

You shouldn't have to buy a whole new wardrobe to cater to some expensive thing you just bought.

Well, that's really interesting you say that, because that was actually a question I wanted to ask you, Cassandra, is, you know, what do you do about the fact that when you go shopping, you are drawn to certain pieces?

Yeah.

I don't know about you, but this happens to me all the time. I'm like, this sparkling, like, boiler suit with diamonte. Straps, oh my God, yes, I want to buy this. It speaks to like a younger me that somehow loved it, I don't know. But you know, you'll find these pieces and you get very, very drawn to them. It might be like a really bright jacket or, I don't know, something like that. How do you kind of cut your sort of bias towards these kinds of pieces and start actually gravitating towards the kinds of pieces you can pair with things in your wardrobe? Because that happens a lot. You go out with the plan, but then you see this thing and you're like, ah, this thing, and then you come home with it and you haven't bought anything in your plan and you feel guilty.

Well, the retailers are doing a good job then if they're doing that. That's their whole purpose, right? Is to tempt you and stuff. But I think having the system in place and also formulating your style values, right? Like no one has ever really thought about that, taking the time to like form them. Like what are they for you? So for example, in January, I don't buy clothes. I don't buy clothes because I'm like, I want to start my new year, like, using what I have. And it's actually a really tempting time because there's sales going on. So that's a value of mine. I don't buy new clothes in January, and I use what I have. So I think it's because I love my closet. Why do I need more? I feel like I have enough.

So you feel like it's almost by responding to the marketing in January, it's like you're allowing someone else to tell you what your next move should be when in fact you actually already like what you have. So you don't need to be led by that.

I don't like it. I love everything in my closet. So when I'm like, okay, do I need this? Do I want this? Well, I have a no rule. no buy rule in January, and it makes it very easy. So I think formulating some style values and rules can help people keep on track.

What's your view of Black Friday?

No, not good. Sales are usually not a sale. It's kind of padded in already into their margins and their plan. So sales happen for a reason because.

It'S because it's stuff people don't want. That.

And they've basically, when they buy the goods, they pad in that they're going to have a sale into the retail price. So it's a real.

Paying the proper price.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just.

Oh, yeah.

From an inflated price, they bring it down to a normal price.

Yes. And this is where my fashion industry experience comes into play, because I worked in the fashion industry for over 25 years, so I know kind of. the ins and outs and the behind the scenes of it. So I like to educate people on what really goes on behind the scenes because then they feel more confident when they go shopping and what they're buying too.

Because now I have some nice things that I feel I have to take care of. And also, I now don't want to wear something wrinkled, right? Which I now distinctly remember a conversation I had with your husband, Ramit. When we were having, he obviously specializes in finances, and I was having a conversation. I don't know why, you know, Ramit will always get onto the conversation about tank t-shirts and wrinkles and ironing if he can. And in this conversation, he absolutely just ripped me to shreds for the idea that I would wear something that I hadn't ironed previously. So I, and I happen to know that Ramit is the one who does the ironing. He is in your household.

He is, yes.

So what before Ramit, what did you do when you had wrinkled clothes and you're not someone who you again, you care about your presentation. So what did you do? Were you ironing your own clothes?

I would pull out that iron with the biggest sad face on iron.

So do you iron in advance? Do you iron like the week's outfit? in advance or do you iron per outfit? You're like, oh, this is what I'm going to wear today. I'll iron it.

So I iron per outfit because.

I.

Have a system in place so I can put outfits together in 60 seconds or less. So it doesn't take me any time. And so to do a quick iron doesn't take any time, literally no time at all.

What do you do? Oh, this is such a, I can't believe 36 year old me is asking this as a real question that I'm interested in.

I can't believe you just asked, what do you do if you really don't want to iron?

Well, get a load of this question, because I'm about to deliver something really fucking spicy. When you have trousers that have a pleat in them.

Okay.

And you want them to be nicely ironed. I get the impression some of the trousers I've got, you're not supposed to iron because of the material. But maybe you are, I'm not sure. Do you steam them? But there's a pleat in them. A pleat, a steamer is not going to get a pleat in a trouser. Like, what do you do?

Like the ones you have on. Yeah, exactly.

Stay tuned for some really interesting podcasts. Maybe cut this because it's so boring. Yeah, that is the most boring. This might be in any interview I've ever done.

It honestly might be the most boring question I've ever asked in my entire life.

It's turning into Matt's Q&A for me about his correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm deeply, I am worried that this is the most boring thing I've ever asked. Anyone, not just you, Cassandra, anyone.

No, I love it. I love it.

These trousers are not like, I think a hot iron on these would ruin them. So, and, and I don't know if you could steam them because that's not going to keep the pleat in them. So what do you do? Do you have to send them off? That's expensive.

No.

So what do you do?

How you iron them.

Go on, then.

So. what you want to do.

Go on. Let's do it. We've done podcast podcast episode about how to iron.

So we need some BTS of the ironing.

And it's for Matthew.

It's not.

It's just for new. I think this is a very progressive episode. So go on.

Okay, so basically you're gonna pull the bottom of the pant. I can actually show you. It's easier if I show you. You're gonna pull the bottom and then make.

It's crisp.

Yeah. And then the pleats are on the side. Nice. That's how you iron it. You don't just throw the pant down.

And then iron it. But do I have to put something between the pant and the iron so.

That the iron doesn't like burn the pant?

No.

So that would just be a temperature thing. Turn down the iron.

Yeah. Turn down the iron.

Turn down the iron.

These are the hard hitting questions.

Guys, though.

We did it.

We did it.

Turn down the iron. Can't finish here. Can't finish on that tone.

Turn down the iron. What if turn down the iron was some kind of grand metaphor for life? I feel like that was all the questions I had. So I'm really nervous now because you seem to worry that that's a bad place.

I have one last question.

Okay, let's do it.

Is it about ironing?

It's not about ironing.

Okay. Steaming?

I always hear of the importance because as you say, accessorize.

Right.

And they can, you're right, they can bring so much confidence to an outfit. They can really make, you know, make everything pop. How do you decide what shoes to wear with what?

Oh, good question.

And how many pairs of shoes should you have in your wardrobe?

How long, do we have another three hours? No, people get really confused around footwear and what bottoms to wear with footwear.

Yes, and also you're kind of, and I don't know if you guys agree with this, but you can tell a lot about people from the shoes they wear.

Yeah.

Shoes are actually kind of a gateway into someone's soul in a way.

I saw Jamison look down at his feet when you said that. He's not even wearing shoes and it still made him self-conscious.

No, but I think it is. I think it's true. So, yeah, like how do you kind of choose a shoe that really reflects your personality and a shoe that's gonna go with what you're wearing and make you feel confident?

Yeah. So there's like clothing in a closet, there's basics that you need to have with shoes, right? So the system is all dependent on your lifestyle and your preferences and stuff. But for example, like I recommend women to have like a sneaker, right? A daytime sneaker they can run around in. Another sneaker to go to the gym in, because those are two separate things. Maybe it's a sandal, maybe it's a high heel. So you kind of identify what those key pieces are and then you invest in them. So the combinations of the bottom and the footwear is it's so nuanced and stuff. But I think if you think of your shoes, your bags, even your jewelry as, okay, what are the essentials that I need? Invest in those first and then layer on the nice to haves from there.

I love that. And actually I have one other question. still not about ironing. But I have one other question, which is about, you know, you mentioned earlier, you said, you know, you're in a different phase of your life. You should be dressing differently. And I agree with you, right? You know, I dress very differently now to when I was 15 or 25. But how do you, because, you know, I will say, like, sometimes my mom, for instance, as an example, she dresses very young and she'll wear, like, short dresses and, you know, she'll wear, like, tight jeans and and she looks amazing. I mean, she just looks youthful as a result of that. But sometimes, you know, it goes the other way, right? Where you kind of wear youthful clothing and you end up just looking like you're not wearing the right clothing for your age. So I think it's a bit of a mind field for women. It's mind field for men too, but especially for women because you're judged a lot by the way that you're presented. And how do you make those decisions based on what age you're at?

Yeah, I think it's, again, having your style values, right? Even creating a Pinterest board, I think is really powerful because style is so visual. So you can say, I want to look feminine, but what does that mean?

Right.

And so it's not until you start assigning visuals where you're like, okay, this is what it could look like. So having the values, having the Pinterest board, maybe reading some bloggers or hiring a stylist like me is really powerful because then bring it to life for you from there. And style evolves just like we do as human beings. And so styles that were trendy five years ago are not anymore. So that's the language of style coming in. So sometimes you need someone to help decode it.

Is there a trend right now that makes you want to throw up?

This 90s trend.

What is that?

Like the the, the, like, plastic.

Yes. Okay, so I was born in the 80s, so I am a child of the 90s. So I can, I can speak about this. The choke, the plastic chokers, maybe. Do you remember the baby shirts? The BB shirts?

Did you guys have that? I do.

With the rhinestones.

Right.

The juicy sweatsuit.

Oh, I remember the juicy. I should, I don't, I mean, everyone remembers the juicy sweatsuit.

I think that was in France when that was going on. I I remember from the 90s.

They had juicy across the butt, right?

Yes. And they were in this blur, like, hot pink and purples.

And you remember those? Oh, yeah.

Low rise pants as well. Like the Britney. Yes.

And you don't. You're not a fan.

I'm not into it. Maybe it's just a phase of life I'm in. I'm older now. I'm not going to the club anymore.

Are the juicy Things coming back.

I've seen them.

Really?

Yes.

We can get you some for Christmas, babe.

Yeah.

To be clear, I didn't, I wasn't wearing them myself.

Who's observing?

Right.

How dare you.

Yeah, I was waiting for that one.

Yeah.

What would be your advice as a sign off to people who are going away from this? and thinking, what are the, what are the next three things I could do if I actually want to make some progress this week? If they're still feeling a little overwhelmed, what would be the three things you say they should do this week that could upgrade their style or their closet in a way that would give them greater confidence in themselves and greater impact? in the world?

I would say number one is to form a style vision. Like we've talked about, I think style can be a downer for a lot of people and it should not be. Like I truly believe everyone deserves to have great style, no matter your budget, your age, your size, everyone deserves it, but you have to form the vision. So we got to get you back to that place of fun. So the Pinterest board, so that's number one. I would say number two is really look at your closet and start to make baby steps with editing it. So if there's one piece that has a tag on it still, you haven't worn it in a year, it's time to donate it. It had a good life. It's moving on now. Okay. And then the third is change, change the hangers in your closet. It's a very small thing to do, but it's so impactful because Again, we're treating our closet with respect, right? And if you have the plastic from dry cleaning and the wire hangers, it just feels messy and chaotic. So I always recommend these velvet hangers on Amazon. They're cheap. You can buy them. They look so luxe and nice. It's like you're walking into a boutique every day. So I would say with those three things, you feel confident, you feel in charge of your style, not the other way around. and it becomes fun again, too.

That's really cool. I love that. I, and I feel like there's a lot of people that are actually gonna go and do that. In fact, tag us, you know, put a picture and on what, on Instagram of your wardrobe edit or the new hangers you've got or something you, a shift you've made, or even just a pile of clothes that you're getting rid of. Take a picture of it and tag us and cast. I am @TheMatthewHussey and Cass is @NextLevelWardrobe on Instagram. For those of you that are after a much more boutique experience, Cass does personal styling at the highest level and it was an incredible experience for me and Audrey. We enjoyed it so much. Everything from the wardrobe edit that we did that where you came over and dumped half of our wardrobe into a pile to donate. Yeah, no, it was savage.

It was.

But it was amazing. And the shopping part of it and going out and trying new things, and it was such an amazing experience. So if you are looking for something much more personalized from Cassandra, she is incredible at what she does. Go check that out. You can find the details at her Instagram account @nextlevelwardrobe. And also, just go and follow Cass on Instagram because her, if you actually just look at her feed, there's all sorts of suggestions. And I love watching your stuff now because you're literally, you know, for both men and women, you'll show colors that go together, you'll show outfits that go together. You actually show in action what this system looks like and what that capsule wardrobe of having limited colors and certain staple things looks like. so if you're looking for a visual to go with all of the advice from today, go to Cass's Instagram because it's really, really good and practical. But Cassandra, Saty, thank you so much for being here. It's such a pleasure. Is there anything else you want to tell people about where to find you or do you feel like that covers it?

Yeah, definitely follow us at nextlevelwardrobe and we do have an email list that has a freebie three to have in your closet and we include brand suggestions as well. So if they visit nextlevelwardrobe.com, they can get that.

Incredible. Thank you so much for joining us. This is so much fun. We have to do this again. And email us, you know, send an email to podcast@matthewhussy.com if you want to follow up episode on ironing and just different techniques in more detail, obviously.

Now we're going to have inundated with emails.

Let us know.

How are we going to filter through all of them?

People can vote with their emails and let us know. I think it's not going to be as boring as as you're making it out to be when people tell us the feedback. Cassandra, thank you.

Thank you.

Hey, guys, thank you so much for listening. I really appreciate you being here on the podcast. I'm loving making these. Before you go, don't forget, if you haven't signed up already, go to love life free training.com for the free event I'm doing on commitment on the 23rd of January. Last chance. I don't want you to miss it. Come join over 15,000 people that are already registered for this event. And like I said, big surprise on the event. So I don't want you to miss out on that and find out afterwards. I'll see you there. Lovelifetraining.com is the link. Thank you, as always, for listening.

You know, I think it's a great idea.