22 Dec 2023 · 2 min
Matthew Hussey breaks down four moves for the first two weeks: stick to real dates, contribute small gestures like buying popcorn, show genuine excitement about details, and call instead of text. These signal confidence and partnership to hook a partner early.
So annoying waiting for people to text back. I wish someone would invent an app that actually allowed you to speak in real time. Oh wait, Alexander Graham Bell already did. Welcome to the Love Life Podcast. It's me, Matthew Hussey.
Enjoy this clip and thank you for being here.
The first two weeks of attraction are really, really important because if we don't make a great impression there, no one cares how great we're going to be in week four or month six. So here are four things you can do to hook somebody in the first two weeks. Number one, have a real dates only policy. It is quite common these days, as you know, for a guy to attempt the Netflix and chill date before he's earned it. So when a guy says to you, hey, do you want to come over later tonight? We can order in and snuggle. What I want you to send him is as much as I like a snuggle, I prefer to get out into the world with someone first. Keeps it interesting. Number two, buy the popcorn. Look, I don't know if you think it's a guy's job to pay for the date or not, but even if you do, there is an awful mistake that so many people make that relates to what I talk about here.
Let me tell you what means something to a guy trying that means something to a guy. When he feels that you're not even trying to contribute. That's when he feels used. Because any guy who's really confident and self respecting, if the woman never is even trying to contribute, he feels like he's being taken advantage of. And it has nothing to do with money, it has to do with the lack of gesture.
Gestures matter. It doesn't matter if he bought the movie and dinner that night. You just getting the popcorn or whatever the equivalent is on the date you're on says to him, firstly, I don't take you for granted and secondly, I I'm sending you a subtle message that I am a team player. Number three, get excited about the little things. Being cool isn't about indifference. It's not about showing up with a been there, done that attitude. I've done it all before. Nothing impresses me. Cool is passion. Cool is getting excited. And about the little stuff, it doesn't even have to be the big stuff. It could be the place that he took you to, it could be the meal that you're eating and there's something on the menu you're really excited about. It could just be a great cup of coffee. Whatever it is getting excited about it sends a message to the person you're with. I am a fun person to do life with. I know that anytime I've been with somebody who gets excited about things, I start thinking of the long list of things that I want to do with them next because I can't wait to experience their reaction to it. Make your reaction to things something somebody wants to experience. Number four Be a grown up and pick up the phone. So annoying waiting for people to text back. I wish someone would invent an app that actually allowed you to speak in real time. Oh, wait, Alexander Graham Bell already did. Now I know that already. People are probably seething hearing this message because you're saying the problem is with men. They're the ones who don't pick up the phone anymore. They're the ones who always text, who don't bother with the old school ways of talking. To this I say to you, lead by example. I'm not saying you're the one who should call the guy all the time, but what I am saying is the first call you make to a guy sets a precedent. It sets a standard. It lets him know that you are an adult and if he wants to date you, he's going to have to have an adult relationship with you. So when. When you want to invite him to something, let's say you've been on two dates and on the third date you want to invite him to something, pick up the phone and invite him. Let's say that you're on your way home from work and you're walking and you have five minutes to spare. Pick up the phone and say hi to him. That moment where you speak to him on the phone tells him the standard you expect from him in return. And it also gives him a license to call you because many guys don't even know that they can or they should. When you call him, it tells him it's also okay for you to call me.
Before you go. Today I have something for you. It is a free training I did called Dating with Results that shows you how to avoid the early mistakes that people make in dating. Finally meet your person and get the safety and the commitment that you deserve with them. Go to Dating with Results to watch this free training right now. And don't forget to let me know what you think.
