30 Dec 2015 · 6 min
Matthew Hussey argues for monthly goal reviews instead of yearly resolutions, saying the "watched kettle boils" when you check in regularly. If you slip on a habit, jump back on in five minutes rather than giving up entirely.
Welcome to another episode of Love Life. I'm your host, Matthew Hussey. Every few days, I'll be bringing you a new episode filled with practical advice you can use right away to improve all of your relationships romantic, family, friends, career and most importantly the relationship you have with yourself. If you've been listening to me for a while, please do me a favor and leave me a five-star review in iTunes. In the iTunes app or on your desktop, Just look up the show, click on ratings and reviews, and then click write a review. I'm not asking for the ego boost. It's simply because the highest rated programs get the most visibility in iTunes and together we can help reach more women by helping them find the show. Thank you so much for your help.
Let's start the show. Well, well, well. Here at Love Life a New Year has just begun. It is January. I hope you're psyched. I hope you're excited about everything that's to come for you this year. And if you're not psyched, don't worry. That's usually just indicative of the fact that you know there's some pain ahead as well. Many people feel like you have to be excited about everything, but the truth is, you know there are some problems. There are some problems from last year that you still have to deal with.
So let's deal with our stuff right now.
In your love life, I know there are things you want right now. I know there are things you sorely want to make happen. And in the last episode, which if you haven't listened to it, please go back and listen to it. It's an amazing lead into what we're talking about out here today. In the last episode, we talked about how the New Year's advice of trying to make huge changes all in one go can make you overwhelmed and therefore not take action. In today's episode, I want to talk about two more problems with New Year's advice that lead to problems. The first one is when people get into a mindset of every new year, I make these big changes. They get into a mindset of analyzing themselves at least once a year. which we know is a cra- like.
Not frequent enough at all.
The way we should be analyzing ourselves is at least once a month. I think New Year should happen at the first of every month. We should be looking at our lives and saying, okay, 30 days passed, now what am I doing? Now what do I need to reevaluate? The problem if we don't is I know what will happen if you say to yourself, right, I'm gonna start talking to more guys. I'm gonna start go out there and interacting with more guys and flirting with more guys. You'll do it for a couple of weeks. and then you'll, you'll have a busy week at work. You'll stay in that week, and all of a sudden, a new cycle begins, a cycle of going back to the old you, of not going out there and talking to people. And if you don't reevaluate that on the 1st of February, you'll, you'll never have that moment where you go, oh, wait, I only did that for half the month. I now have to re-engage with the things that I'm doing. You have to be revisiting the things, the routines that you take on all the time. All right? Your progress towards your goals will increase if you actually stay on top of them. You know that there's that old a watched kettle never boils or a watched pot never boils. The whole point of that phrase is that if you keep watching something, time will go slower and it'll feel like it takes forever. Well, we have a new phrase here. The phrase is a watched kettle boils, right? A watched pot boils. If you actually watch your goals, you'll make progress because you'll know when you're not making progress. If the pot is broken, if it's not heating up, then you get to do something different. But you don't know that unless you're watching it, unless you stay on top of your goals, you don't know the progress you're making. So make sure you set something at the first of every month that measures how far you've come. And the second thing is this. I know that you're gonna have resolutions this year that you've created that you're gonna fail. All of us are, by the way, none of us are gonna have a 100% track record. At some point you're gonna fail. That's okay. Here's how winners fail and here's how losers fail. Winners fail by when they mess up, they go, oh, I didn't do my resolution for five minutes. But I'm back on my resolution now. I don't need to fail for more than five minutes. I'm straight back on. Okay, here's how people who lose all the time fail. As soon as they get a failure, they go, oh, well, it's over now. You know, I had that resolution. I broke it. It's the 15th of January. I'll try again next year. Maybe I'll get to the 30th. People fail because when they fail in the moment, they decide that it's ultimate failure. Instead of saying, get straight back on the horse, there are rituals, there are resolutions that will change your whole love life if you stick to them. I promise you that. I promise you. I've never seen it not happen where a woman doesn't put in little measures every day that change her love life and it doesn't start creating drastic results. I want to make sure that you don't suddenly feel like a failure the moment you don't do it. When you don't do it, get straight back on. and make sure that you keep making those 1% shifts we were talking about in the last episode. All right, guys, that's it for today. By the way, since it's new year, I wanted to give you all of the support I could possibly give you. I mentioned this in the last episode. I have a guide for you for January. It is the Six Shortcuts to True Love. It's designed to give you steps to finding the love of your life right now, not at the end of the year, at the beginning of the year. And really, if you know your love life needs an adrenaline shot right now, this is the thing for you. So go check it out, here's where you'll find it, it's shortcuts2love.com so go to shortcuts2love.com and I will see you there with your free guide. I hope you got a lot out of the show today. I know I always do.
Coming soon, I've got more amazing shows in store for you, so be sure.
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