This is a podcast episode titled '(Rewind): How to Make Them See You as More Than Just a Hookup' recorded in July 2025. The content features Matthew Hussey and multiple other speakers discussing dating advice focused on maintaining confidence and power after intimacy, how to communicate effectively post-hookup, and setting expectations for relationships beyond casual encounters. The episode also promotes a free training on commitment and dating strategies.
Chapters
The worst thing a person can do is text the person saying, oh, my God, I can't believe we did that last night. Or I was so drunk last night. Or in any way making excuses for the fact that they slept together or insinuating regret.
So you had sex with him. Now, many people think that once a man has sex with a woman, she gives up her power and he begins to lose interest. But I don't think your power is in having sex with a man. Your power is in what you do afterwards. So in this video, I'm going to talk you through three things that not only allow you to maintain your power, but actually make him want you more after the fact.
Number one, don't be weird. Many people, after waking up having slept with someone, an intimate act, then all of a sudden start behaving really awkwardly. Like the few hours of sleep in between drove this giant wedge between them. And now, instead of being warm and affectionate, they're kind of cold and neurotic. They're worried about their hair or their breath. They're scrambling for their clothes, trying to make sure that person who's just slept with them doesn't see their naked body. It's a shame, because actually, if we were calm and in a good state and happy and positive and just had a playful vibe with that person in the morning, they'd see us as much more confident and in control. So in the morning, here's what you do. You give a little deadline. You say to him, I have to go soon.
I have so much to do today.
And then you give him a big cuddle. Because then when you're cuddling up to him, he's not thinking, is this person going to be here forever? Is this going to be awkward trying to figure out when I or she leaves? You've already put that marker in his mind. Then you can just enjoy the affection. And when you leave, give him a nice affectionate kiss. All of this, by the way, is presuming you actually like the guy. If this guy is someone you actually like, give him a nice affectionate kiss. It's what you should do after you've just slept with someone and then leave and go about your your busy day.
Step number two, later that day, send a killer text. I'm going to read you this text and then I'm going to tell you why it contains everything you need to say, I had a great time with you last night. Good luck with your meeting today. Then, a little kissy face. Why does this do what you need it to do? First you're saying, I had a great time with you last night. A small act of vulnerability and femininity. It's a moment where you can be candid with him. Too many people play it too cool for school, like they don't care, and in the process, they dehumanize the whole thing. The act of intimacy they've just had with a person. Then when you say, good luck in your meeting today with a little kiss, it's a moment where it's personal. You're saying something that relates to something you've said. If you know he's doing something fun today, you could say, have fun doing X, Y, Z today. Whatever it is, take a moment to acknowledge something that's going on in his day. The problem with the way so many people approach what they do after intimacy is they either get too vulnerable and too close to somebody where all of a sudden it's now like they expect the relationship to have moved 10 steps forward for having slept with them, or they go too casual to the point where it seems like it didn't mean anything to them that they slept together last night. We want to strike that balance of being somewhere in between the two. Just a little footnote to add here. The worst thing a person can do is text the person saying, oh, my God, I can't believe we did that last night. Or I was so drunk last night. Or in any way making excuses for the fact that they slept together or insinuating regret if we slept with someone. Own it. Especially if you like the person, own it with no regrets. And they'll see you as more sexy and confident as a result.
Step three, do not settle for for the Netflix and chill follow up. Now, he may text you a couple.
Of days later saying, hey, do you.
Want to come over and watch a movie with me later? Now, that doesn't make him a bad guy. It just makes him a guy. He's going for the easy path and he wants to have sex with you again. Who can blame him? He's only human.
But you want more.
So what do you say you send him this message back? I'd love to see you again, but I really want to get to know you better. And I feel like I know where coming to your place ends up. Winking. How about we go for dinner? Now, the beauty of this message is it shows you want to see him again, but it resets the expectation. It takes away the entitlement. See, look, you two had sex. That doesn't mean that he's entitled to sex again with you. And it doesn't mean that you're entitled to more investment from him. But the distinction is if he does want to see you again, it has to be for more than a physical connection. It has to be to build a real connection. That takes time and investment and you wouldn't expect any less. If he doesn't want to put in that time and investment, that's okay. You have your answer about how much he likes you, but you won't accept less.
Thanks for listening everybody. And before you leave, if you are struggling with commitment right now because you feel like no one wants to commit, or worse, no one wants to commit to you, and you always feel like the person before the person they end up with, I have something for you. It is called From Casual to Committed. It is a completely free training that gives you highly practical, tried and tested advice for not only attracting the right people who are ready, but also doing the right things that make people commit to you. Go check it out right now@get commitment.com Like I said, this is free, but it is incredibly valuable, incredibly helpful and it will change the way you date. That link again is getcommitment.com go check it out now and I'll see you.
