In this short podcast episode, Matthew AI shares a clip of a conversation with his brother Stephen about coping with a breakup. They explore the initial shock of heartbreak, using pop‑culture metaphors (the Dark Knight pit, Sabrina the Teenage Witch’s "Hair grows" line, Jonah in the whale) to illustrate the feeling of being trapped in a dark place. The central claim is that "emotions change" – the intense pain will not last forever. They advise a gentle, deliberate self‑care routine: treat the heartbreak like a wound (apply antiseptic, wrap it), rebuild self‑esteem, engage in small uplifting actions (walks, phone calls), and avoid trying to "gym" or "party" the pain away. They argue that heartbreak, while painful, offers an opportunity for growth, resilience, and increased value to others. The episode ends with a call‑to‑action to a free video on moveonstrong.com for listeners stuck between getting back together or moving on.
Chapters
When I see them with someone else, I'm gonna have a full breakdown. They're the love of my life. I'm never gonna get over this. I'm gonna miss them like this forever. Hey, it's Matthew here. Welcome back to Love Life. Short episode for you today. I wanted to share a clip of a conversation that I had with my brother Stephen because it resonated with so many people who heard these two simple words that I share for getting over heartbreak. Check it out.
When you first have the moment of a breakup, It's like you have the shock and all the tears and the moment where it happens and it's kind of this shocking, traumatic moment. And then it's kind of like that bit in the Dark Knight where Bruce Wayne is thrown into that pit, you know, that prison with the big circular prison and up somewhere is the light, but you are just stuck in this dark hole. and you have no idea how you're going to climb out of it. What's your initial thought on when you're faced with that kind of black hole you're in? What do you think people's, what's kind of your first instinct with your wisdom and experience now of when that moment happens?
You know, Steve, this reminds me of an episode of Clarissa the Teenage Witch.
Do you mean Sabrina the Teenage Witch?
Yeah, I do. But I was getting her mixed up with Clarissa says it all.
Clarissa explains it all.
Explains it. Clarissa says it all. I'm getting like mum where I can't remember the names of things. This reminds me, Steve, of an episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
Okay, I'm listening.
There's a moment where a friend, I forget her friend's name, but her friend's her friend cuts her hair too short.
Jenny. Her friend's name is Jenny. Why do I know? I don't know why I still know that.
So her mate Jenny gets her haircut off too short. And Clarissa. No, Sabrina has a. She's got powers, obviously, but I think there's something in this episode where she's, like, always saying the right thing. Or she's got the power to make everyone feel good. Okay. And so her friend gets her hair cut off and Jenny's mortified that her hair's all gone. And Sabrina comes along and just says two words to her. She just says, Hair grows. And Jenny just looks at her and she's like, Hair grows. and you see in that she walks away and she's fine. She's like, it's just like she realizes that it's all all right, that hair grows. Two words like that can change your life. Anyone who's at the apex of the awfulness of grieving over somebody, I would say emotions change. They just, they don't stay the same. So even when you're in the lowest low, you are, you know, is it Jonah in the belly of the whale?
Yes. That wasn't an episode of Sabrina team on Twitch.
Right, we're going right. So in Jonah's in the belly of the whale, it's like you, you. When you're. That's the worst of the worst of the. How can it get any worse? And the thought is it's always gonna be like this. I am. in the worst possible place. And it's. And I can't survive this. If this stays this way, I can't survive this.
Yeah.
Emotions change. This terrible feeling you have right now about losing this person, they're the love of my life. I'm never gonna get over this. I'm gonna miss them like this forever. I'm. When I see them with someone else, I'm gonna have a full breakdown. I'm. never going to meet anyone like them again. Emotions change. They just don't stay the same. And that that you can that much you can rely on that you're actually not going to feel like this for forever. It can't be. It cannot be. There is just no way you are going to get better. And your emotions about this situation are going to change. your feelings towards this person are gonna change. They're not gonna stay the same. Your feelings towards other people are gonna change. Someone else is gonna come on your radar and they're gonna be interesting and you'll like something else about them or love something else about them and so it will all change. None of this is gonna stay the way that it is right now. So those two words, if nothing else, if you're at the worst moment of your breakup, if nothing else, just remember, emotions change.
You're absolutely right. You have to have like a degree of faith and, well, it's rational as well, but it's a rational understanding of this pain cannot, this isn't going to be my life. People don't just stay in this shock forever. But I think it's so important as well that you engage in a procedure of emotional For lack of a less cliche word, self-care. Like you have to start that you have to put yourself on the right path to not prolonging it. You know, you've got a wound and now you've got to start applying the right antiseptic, the right balms and ointments, wrap the wound. You kind of have to do the right things now. Do you have to go, okay, I'm going to start building the ladder of self-esteem again. I'm gonna turn self-hatred into self-love. I'm gonna start treating myself like someone I care about. And if I was just looking at this person from the outside, I would be like, okay, let's just get you out for a walk today. Let's get you to go and have a chat to a friend who brings you a bit of joy or someone who you know, like, makes you laugh a bit and just like gently, like do a phone call, do one phone call. And I think these things, if you just start that little upward spiral, you can, you know, things start to get a bit better each day.
I agree. You know, the word gently is kind of interesting because there's certain parts of it you're just not gonna outrun.
Run.
Like when you're truly heartbroken, you're not just gonna like gym your way out of that. Do you know what I mean? You're not just gonna nights with friends out your way out of that. You're not gonna party through it until. Yeah. Or even, you know, self-help your way out of it through, you know, it's listening to so many podcasts in a day or a week or whatever you Those things are things that realign your focus. They build other muscles. You know, it's, we've talked before about it. If you imagine it's like one part of your body is injured, right? Let's say your heart, your heart is injured. So you're training other parts of your body. You want to keep doing that. Because you don't want to wake up when you feel better. Being heartbroken is one problem. But you don't want to wake up in six months with six problems. Because you being heartbroken meant that you didn't do any, you didn't work any of the other muscles. If you injure your shoulder, you've got a problem. But you don't wanna wake up six months from now with weak legs, or a weak core, or a bunch of problems that have come from eating badly, or, you know, those things don't have to be problems alongside it. So it's like sometimes I think we're so focused on trying to make the injured muscle feel better, instead of being like, that thing's gonna be injured for a minute. That's okay. You don't have to try to speed that up to an unnatural rate of healing because when we do that, typically we're lying to ourselves in some way. We're telling ourselves everything's all right and making ourselves so absurdly busy that we have zero time to even think. The moment you have downtime, the moment it gets to 11 o'clock at night and your head hits the pillow again, that stuff's all coming rushing back in anyway. At some point it catches up and you still have to go through the hellish part of it. You can make it reduce it, but you're still gonna go through the tough part. But you wanna make sure that you accept that you have a problem, an issue, and by the way, it's not in a sense, it is a real problem, but it's also a real problem. There's a real opportunity. It's a real opportunity for growth. It's a real opportunity for healing. It's a real opportunity for self-care. It's a real opportunity to build your relationship with yourself, self-love. It's a real opportunity to show yourself that you can deal with very difficult things in life. It's a real opportunity to build your kind of toughness and your resilience and the invincibility that comes from knowing you can get over anything, which is gonna make you really valuable to the next person. I'm more valuable to people because of my heartbreak. There is no question about it. I am more valuable because of heartbreak in my life. I would be less valuable in this conversation right now if I didn't have heartbreak. And anyone who has been through heartbreak, you may not be out there coaching tons of people or making videos, but if you're out, if you've just got a friend or a family member or someone in your life who comes to you for help, you're gonna be more helpful as a result of this heartbreak. It's gonna make you a better, more useful person. in the world. Your suffering will make you more useful in the world. So it's only a problem to the extent that it hurts. It's not a problem in the sense of your growth. But right now you have an issue. But you don't want to wake up with six more issues six months from now because you didn't take care of the other things. Except that it's going to be, there's going to be a tough period. That's okay. if you are struggling between the dichotomy of whether to try to get someone back or move on for good, I have a video for you to watch right now. It is at moveonstrong.com, it's totally free, and it will help you if you are in this position that just makes you feel trapped in not knowing what to do. To get that video, go to moveonstrong.com, I'll see you over there.
